The room fell silent. Julien lay there holding his breath and staring at the silhouette of the axe stemming from the back of Ed’s skull. He slowly panned to Sarah who hadn’t moved an inch. A hand came down and jerked the axe upward. Ed’s body came partway with it then slid to the floor with a loud thud as the hatchet came free. Julien slowly turned to his right. He looked at the axe, held low, beside him. He followed it upward until his eyes met hers.
Rachael stood looking down upon him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sarah entered the bedroom. She paused beside Rachael then took the axe from her hand. She turned to face the dying fire. She picked up a split log and tossed it onto the dimming embers, followed by another. A burst of bright orange drifted up the flue in the wind current and a loud pop sounded.
Julien couldn’t move. The scene around him felt surreal. Horrified and in shock, he watched Sarah point down at Ed Bale’s body. She tapped on Rachael’s arm with the back of a hand, softly grunting at her. She bent over and took hold of Ed’s static wrist; the axe dangling at her other side.
Rachael obediently took Ed’s arm and the two women worked together, slowly dragging his hefty weight around the foot of the bed and out into the hallway, without an exchange of words. The sound of Ed’s lifeless body, sliding in paced increments over the wood and through the otherwise silent house, resonated in Julien’s mind for hours. He didn’t complain. He didn’t ask for anything. He couldn’t sleep. He just lay there in the golden hue of the crackling fire, wondering what the remainder of his life would be like. How long she would keep him alive and in what condition; but mostly, if he would ever find peace with the thought that Jessica, if alive, would spend the rest of her days in Kings Hollow. A small voice in the back of his mind kept hinting of hope, but Julien refused to give it heed. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where he could win a battle against Sarah. For years he thought he had done just that, but now he knew, it was all just fallacious bravado or outright stupidity. He heard the voice in his mind whisper again, suggesting he play nice, work to regain her trust, insinuating that Sarah could be fooled once more.
Mute…not simple.
Different…not stupide.
She is wile and perceptive.
If you do as she asks…
If you let her feel safe…
You have done this before.
No, but it does not matter.
If I am waiting for a month…a year…two years…
If she is trusting me for all this time…
In the end, she will always win…
Even if it appears you get away…
She will always bring you back…
Or they will bring her back…
She will always win.
Not if you kill them all.
But Jessica…
If I make one mistake…
If I act too soon…
Jessica is at risk.
Maybe you can kill them all at once.
Poison?
The house…blow it up.
Ah…P’tain, this is crazy.
But…
Maybe?
Stop!
Stop it!
Shut up!
Jessica…
I will not put her at risk…
I do not have it in me…
There is no way.
No more crazy talk!
But…
If you…
Enough!
No more!
This is not so bad…
If I give in…
If I give it up the fighting…
I am…maybe here for her…
To watch her grow…
To perhaps be an influence…
Bah!
They will turn her against you.
You are a fool.
A rush of despair came over him suddenly. He managed to shift his upper body onto his battered side. He drew the pillows and blankets close and Ed came back to mind.
We all suffer in life...
Ed Bale’s suffering is over.
Jealousy?
Yes, I am jealous.
Jessica…
I must be here for Jessica.
Julien closed his eyes. He couldn’t silence his fluctuating thoughts and the noise in his mind was overwhelming.
You will lose your mind here.
Julien rolled over onto his back. Above him, the bird sat perched on the headboard cocking his head and staring down at him. The sound of clanking glasses and mumbled voices took Julien’s attention. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate, he couldn’t make out the voices, nor the words, but there were several people talking downstairs. He listened intently for any hint of Jessica’s presence, but there was nothing distinguishable. He hoisted himself up and sat at the edge of the bed. He could tell by his reflection in the lamp’s base, there hadn’t been much improvement in his appearance, but he couldn’t wait any longer to search for Jessica. He moved to the bathroom, feeling every punch his father had landed, but determined to clean up as best he could before letting his daughter see him.
The bathroom was empty; no towels, no soap, nothing. He turned on the shower and stepped under the warm water. The blue jay landed on the rod above the shower curtain.
“I don’t like that you are here with me.” He peered at the bird, his eyes still swollen and bruised. “Why aren’t you with her?”
The bird hopped, turning away from him. It squawked and travelled along the rod and back again.
“You are always with her,” he muttered.
Julien stepped out of the shower and looked around. He dried off as best he could using his bloodied shirt then found his bag at the foot of the bed. He could still hear the mumbling and clatter coming from the floor below. He dressed quickly and found his cigarettes in the nightstand. He lit one and sat at the edge of the bed contemplating.
Find Jessica…
She won’t hurt her…
She needs her…
Do as she asks.
You will win her trust again.
Julien shook away the thought. A night of sleep didn’t change anything and the idea of Sarah ever trusting him again, or of his finding a way out from under her power, still seemed impossible.
One goal for today…
Find Jessica…
Find her well and happy.
Julien tossed his cigarette into the fireplace and left the bedroom. Their voices grew louder as he walked the hall. At the top of the stairs, he paused. He listened to Arlette chastising Lind; berating him for how he ate his meal. Her voice grated Julien’s nerves and he couldn’t fathom how Lind had willingly been with this woman, day in and day out, for decades.
They are back…
Why are they here?
He didn’t want to see them nor become their aim and he turned back to head for the bedroom, when he heard Jessica.
There was no mistaking his daughter’s familiarly hummed tune. He felt an enormous weight lift and days of tension drained from his body. He dropped his chin to his chest, closed his eyes and exhaled. Now he could breathe. He turned back to the stairs and descended.
The sight left Julien stunned. There, around the dining room table, like one big, dysfunctional family, sat Sarah, Jessica and Rachael on one side; Arlette and Lind on the other, and Jérome at the head, on the far end. The loud clanking and chatter ceased and all eyes fell upon him as he took the final three steps and stopped.
Jessica’s eyes lit up and she hurried from her chair beside Jérome, darting behind her mother and Sarah to run to him. Rachael turned quickly to grab her, but Sarah held up a hand behind Rachael’s back and she froze briefly then turned back to face the table. Julien sat down on the steps and caught Jessica as she dove into his arms.
Carl Lind chuckled, “Someone’s happy to see you. Glad to see you’re feeling better, Julien. Why don’t you come join us? We saved you a seat.”
Julien ignored him, but glanced up at Jérome. A gradual smile revealed his father�
�s stained and broken grin, and Julien looked away. A low huff of laughter escaped Jérome before he returned his attention to his plate.
“Let me look at you,” Julien said as he pried Jessica from his chest. “Are you okay?”
Jessica nodded slowly then reached for the bruises on his face, Julien caught her wrists and kissed her cheek.
“I am fine. I am only happy to see you.”
Sarah slid her chair back and walked toward them. She placed a hand on Jessica’s shoulder and calmly waited. Jessica looked up at Sarah, who took her hand. Jessica looked back at Julien but walked alongside Sarah, obediently back to her chair. Sarah shimmied the seat closer to the table then placed a fork in the child’s hand before walking to the end of the table and pulling back the only empty seat, inviting Julien to the table. She returned to her own and sat down.
Julien could feel Arlette’s eyes on him from the moment he came to the room, but chose not to acknowledge her until she finally spoke.
“Come, Julien. No one’s angry at you. I’ve had a nice talk with Sarah and I think you will find things to be quite different around here now.”
Julien smirked and reminded himself to bite his tongue then sat back, leaning his elbows on the step behind him.
“I am fine, thank you. Not very hungry. Please…enjoy your meal.” He was starving.
“Aw, come now. Why do you always have to be so oppositional?” Arlette leaned back as well. She looked to Carl, “Some people never learn.”
Lind didn’t respond and she turned back to Julien and continued.
“I’ve worked very hard to bring peace back to this home, arrange a lovely breakfast, see to it that you were well cared for and that nothing…worse…would come of your condition. The least you can do is join us and show some appreciation.” Arlette waited for his response. Julien’s silence irked her.
She narrowed her eyes, “Have it your way, Julien.”
Julien wanted to stick to the plan. He wanted to try to get back on Sarah’s good side. He had every intension to keep his mouth shut and play along, but the words flew from his tongue before he could control his temper.
“Where is Detective Bale? What happened to him?”
Arlette’s expression crinkled, “Who? What now?”
“Ed Bale. He was here…yesterday, or maybe the day before. Rachael? What happened to Bale?”
Rachael froze. Her eyes never lifted from her plate and she said nothing.
Stop…
Don’t!
Sarah’s head spun in his direction; her eyes dark and piercing. Julien felt a pang of fear and he looked to Jessica, watching the interaction. The confusion in his daughter’s eyes made his heart ache. He knew better than to argue with these people and put his daughter’s life in jeopardy again. He sat in silence for a brief moment until, looking past his father’s shoulder beyond the window, he saw nothing. The hood of the SUV should have been in his view, but the driveway was empty, all but a patch of grass, void of snow, where the Lexus had been parked.
Julien left the stairs and moved past them to the front door. He stepped out onto the porch and stared at the spot where his car had been. If the car was gone, so was his other cell phone. He struggled to find a glimmer of hope in his heart, but Sarah was smart; much smarter now than when they first met. She was staying one step ahead of him at all times.
The dog appeared from beneath the porch and ran up to greet him. It nuzzled his hand with its cold nose and Julien gave it a halfhearted scratch with one finger. It was bitter cold and he turned back to the house, only to be stopped by Sarah, standing in the doorway. She took a few apprehensive steps toward the edge of the porch then looked back at him. She moved to the base of the steps and looked to him again. The dog joined her and seemed to beckon him as well. Julien followed her as she led him along the path to the barn.
They entered the barn and the muffled sounds of the coop erupted. Julien looked around. Everything was neat and in place. Sarah closed the barn doors and Julien felt his fear rise again.
Sarah went to the ladder and patted on its sides. She looked to him and patted at the wood again, harder.
Julien took a step back and shook his head, “Oh no. No ladders for me.”
Sarah’s brow furrowed and she grabbed a rung, shaking it violently and grunting at him.
Julien took another step back, “It is not going to happen, Sarah. I have no reason to go up there.”
Julien turned away and moved to the barn doors. The dog whined as he swung the door open. Jérome stood waiting on the other side, lips curled and teeth bared. A low growl escaped him and Julien stepped back into the barn.
“Come on, Sarah…what now?” Julien turned to find her scampering up the ladder.
Jérome remained in the doorway, unmoving.
Julien lost sight of Sarah and took a few more steps backward to broaden his view. Sarah stood in the middle of the loft looking back at him. Julien could see his desk, computer, chair, tables, shelves; the loft was set up just as he had arranged it when he and Rachael first moved to the Victorian.
Julien shook his head, “Very nice, Sarah. Now come down. Not today.”
Sarah moved further back and he lost sight of her again. He took a few more steps back, but couldn’t bring her into his view.
“Sarah?” He stepped back again, panning the loft, “Sarah…” he said as he stepped back again and nearly knocked her over behind him. He spun around to face her; his heart pounding.
“Don’t do that!” He grabbed his chest and moved away from her. “What do you want, Sarah? What is it that you really want from me?”
Sarah’s expression faded. Julien looked to the door where Jérome remained motionless.
The frustration of attempting to communicate with Sarah was more than he could handle at the moment. He wanted to try to state his case, try to convince her, but it all seemed so pointless and exhausting.
“Tell me what to do, Sarah? How can I make you happy today? What can I do?”
Her eyes sparkled in a stream of sunlight and he thought he recognized empathy in her expression. She seemed teary and equally frustrated as she stared back at him.
“It would be much easier for me if I can just learn to be happy here, but… Sarah, I cannot. I am everything but happy here. I know I should pretend. I can try to trick you, maybe,” he shook his head as he revealed his every thought, “but I cannot do it. I want to, but I cannot.”
Sarah looked down at the dirt floor around her.
“I am sorry, Sarah. No matter what you do,” he motioned above to the loft, “I will never want to be here.”
He glanced at Jérome, still looming just beyond the door.
“I want my daughter to be happy and safe…that can never happen here. I want to be safe. I want my wife back. That woman in the house, she is not Rachael. You took Rachael from me. She is...she is a shell of that person now. Another entity that you control.”
Sarah, devastated, looked up at him again. She shook her head in denial and began to rock nervously, from one foot to the next.
“Yes, Sarah. This is how it will be. You forcing people to do what you want but never having anything real. You will never know the feeling of someone being here with you because they want to be here.”
Sarah darted toward him and before he could pull away, she wrapped her arms around him.
Julien sighed and took a quick glance toward his father, who remained still.
“Aye, Sarah… I wish I can make it be how you want it to be. It would be easier for me.”
Julien couldn’t bring himself to touch her. He stood, enveloped in her grasp, repulsed and stony.
Sarah held him for an awkward moment before finally loosening her grip. She wiped at her face and took a step back then lurched forward again, taking his face in her hands and pressing her lips to his.
Julien struggled to pull away, “Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa… No, Sarah! You can’t…” He moved away from her quickly peeling her off, “You canno
t do that. You are just a little girl…” Julien stopped.
She is not a little girl any longer…
She is a woman now.
“This is a fucking nightmare.” Julien left Sarah, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stood in the center of the barn. He stormed in the direction of Jérome with such adamancy and expecting his father to either fight or step aside. He refused to slow down and as he approached, Jérome did not move, but with Sarah’s will now broken, Julien passed right through the apparition as he exited the barn.
Julien hurried for the house, the dog trailing behind him. As he reached the steps, he could hear a commotion inside. He hurried in to find Arlette ducking and Lind swatting at the air with a rag. The bird fluttered about the room searching for a safe perch. It flew to Julien and landed on his shoulder. Julien headed for the stairs and up to the bedroom where he took the iron staircase two at a time. Unlatching the door, he broke through the floor of the widow’s walk, with the bird clinging to his shoulder.
“Go! Before they kill you… go!” He swept at the blue jay with his hand forcing it to fly from his shoulder. It landed on the roof and Julien retreated back to the bedroom.
Subconsciously, he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, as he thought of Sarah’s unexpected kiss. He paced back and forth then sat on the edge of the bed. His mind whirled, devastated by the reality of it all, and the walls closed in on him. The tapping of the bird’s claws drew his attention and he looked up to find it dancing along the edge of the top step. Julien shook his head and jerked open the drawer of the nightstand then lit himself a cigarette.
I give up…
I cannot help you, bird…
I cannot help anyone…
WISHBONE II: ...Some Wishes Should Never Be Made Page 19