by Linda Warren
“They only do that to get back at us since the incident with Egan, but I do not want one of you to interact with them unless they go too far, and you know what I mean by that.” Their mother made her views clear and they knew what she meant—to use their own judgment when dealing with the McCrays. But she never wanted her sons to back down and they knew that, too.
Falcon glanced out the window to see his daughter backing out of her parking spot. She was avidly talking to Zane, who had earphones on, blocking her out. They really were good friends, but with Eden’s attitude it was hard to see that sometimes. She was very protective of her cousin, though. His daughter was a typical emotional teenager and her moods changed constantly. There was no way he’d ever be able to forget Leah. He saw her every day in their daughter.
A time to remember...
LEAH REBEL HAD SPENT years trying to deal with what she’d done, but each year a layer of guilt was added to her soul. There was no way to justify her actions, so she lived with an enormous burden of heartache and pain. At times she tried to explain to herself what had happened and she always fell short of making it convincing. If she couldn’t make herself believe she wasn’t a terrible person, how could she make Falcon believe?
It didn’t matter, she told herself. The past was over and she couldn’t go back and change it no matter how many times she wished she could. She had to go forward and that brought her to right now. To have a future she had to face her past. Which meant she had to face Falcon.
She pulled over to the side of the road to calm her nerves. Up ahead was the entrance to Rebel Ranch. It looked the same as it had the day she’d left, except the brown boards that flanked the entrance looked as if they’d just been painted. One summer she and Falcon had painted the boards. It had been fun, just the two of them making extra money during the summer.
They’d fallen in love in high school. The moment she’d set eyes on Falcon she knew she’d never love anyone else. She was young and naive and believed in true love. How stupid could she have been? Love was more than sex and attraction. It took a lot of give-and-take. Leah hadn’t been ready to be tossed into the Rebel family. They’d treated her well, but she was used to a quiet life with her dad and her aunt.
After she’d discovered she was pregnant, Falcon had insisted they get married and they’d moved into his bedroom on the ranch. They’d had no privacy and life became difficult. The only time she had alone with him was in their bedroom. That special time had not given her the security she’d needed, especially with her hormones all over the place.
She wiped her sweaty palms down her black pants. Remembering was like scratching an itch. It only made it worse. And the more she remembered the more she hurt. Over and over the memories flooded her until she felt weak and wanted to turn the car around and drive back to Houston. But it had taken her seventeen-plus years to get to this point and she wasn’t backing out now. No matter what awaited her on the other side of those board fences, she was ready to face it.
Just as she decided to drive forward she saw a red pickup headed for the entrance, dust billowing behind it. She was trapped, and waited for someone to recognize her. The truck rolled over the cattle guard and then stopped. The girl inside was talking to someone in the passenger seat.
Leah held her breath. It was her daughter: Eden. No one needed to tell her that. She just knew. Her heart raced as she tried to see every detail of her face.
The two seemed to be arguing and then her daughter drove on, not once glancing her way. Leah was grateful for the distractions of a teenager. She backed up and then followed the red pickup. This might be her only chance to see her daughter. Not that she would introduce herself—she wouldn’t be able to handle all that emotion. Just looking at her would be enough—for now.
The truck turned off Rebel Road and headed toward Horseshoe. Leah followed the truck all the way to the school. It had been a long time since she’d been there, but it still looked the same. The school was in the shape of a horseshoe with red brick halfway up the front of the metal buildings. Grades one through twelve went here when she was younger and she assumed they still did.
More memories surfaced. Falcon and her running to his truck to sneak away for an hour or so. Sitting in the stands, watching him play football and basketball. Wherever he was, she wanted to be. On the weekends, their favorite place was the ranch. They had a special spot on Yaupon Creek hidden back in the woods where they spent many hours making love. A pain shot through her. Why hadn’t their love been enough?
Eden pulled into a parking spot and Leah parked some distance away, just far enough not to be noticed but close enough to see. Looking at her daughter was like looking into a mirror. Her daughter favored Leah, with long dark hair and a slim build. But Leah fervently hoped her daughter had more of a backbone than she ever had.
Eden was talking to the boy and Leah wondered who he was. One of Falcon’s brothers must’ve gotten married and had a son, because he had the dark hair and features of a Rebel. He was maybe ten or eleven. So much had happened since Leah had been gone and she knew she would now be like a stranger to everyone.
Her daughter pulled off her three-quarter-length shirt, revealing a skimpy sleeveless top. The boy pointed a finger at her and Eden said something that evidently was not pleasant, because the boy made a face at her and then ran into the building.
Leah watched as Eden met a boy and they walked into the school together. It was like watching herself. She had done the same thing many times as a teenager. Her aunt believed in modesty and refused to let Leah wear skimpy clothes. The moment Leah made it to school she would remove the long-sleeved blouses.
Kate Rebel must be very strict with Eden. As much as it pained Leah to think it, she knew Kate had raised Leah’s daughter. She couldn’t see Falcon doing it. He was strong, masculine and had a traditional man’s attitude that a woman’s place was in the home.
Kate had finally gotten the daughter she’d always wanted, except Eden wasn’t Kate’s. Eden was Leah’s. But Leah hadn’t been a mother, a real mother, and it was the hardest thing she would ever have to admit. She’d changed, though, and she didn’t know if anyone would believe her, especially Falcon. It didn’t matter whether he did or not. She hadn’t come for forgiveness. She’d come because she could no longer stay away.
She took a deep breath and picked up her phone to call the man she’d once loved with all her heart. She prayed that he would remember some of those times when they had been inseparable. If he’d let himself remember for a moment, maybe he would listen to what she had to say.
But knowing Falcon, he would want her to burn in hell.
Chapter Two
A time to meet...
Falcon glanced at the wagon-wheel clock on the wall. He and his mother handled the books for the ranch, and it took a lot of time. More time than he wanted to spend in an office. He’d rather be enjoying the outdoors.
Five years ago they’d built a new barn and made an updated office upstairs. He could see out over Rebel Ranch, but it wasn’t the same as being out there.
His mother got up from her desk. “I’m going to check on the boys. It makes me nervous when they work so close to the McCray property.”
Falcon leaned back in his leather chair. “I’ll catch up with you as soon as Hancock calls. He wants to schedule a day to pick out the Hereford heifers for his ranch. It shouldn’t take long.”
As soon as his mother closed the door, Hancock called and set a date with Falcon. He hung up and the phone immediately rang again. Falcon answered without glancing at the caller ID. “Hello.”
There was silence on the other end. “Hello, is anyone there?”
“Uh...uh... I...”
The voice was female so Falcon thought it was someone looking for Paxton or Elias, which was a regular occurrence. “You’ve reached Rebel Ranch. Who do you want to talk to?”
“Falcon, this is...Leah.”
A line from an Alan Jackson song ran through his mind: “Where were you when the world stopped turning?” For Falcon, everything stopped at that moment. He didn’t care about a buyer wanting heifers or his brothers facing the McCrays. All he could hear was This is Leah.
He’d waited years for this call and now that it had come he was speechless. His nerves tightened like stretched barbed wire and his emotions were hard to contain. Anger, confusion and curiosity held him in a grip. He sucked air into his aching lungs.
“Falcon, are you still there?”
Her voice was just the same, soft with a Southern lilt. She’d been reared in Alabama and she never lost that cadence in her voice. It was sexy as hell, but today it only annoyed him.
“What do you want?”
“I’d like to talk.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at the new park in Horseshoe.”
His heart pounded off his ribs in fear. Talking to Leah was the last thing he wanted to do, but she wasn’t far from Eden and he had to make sure she didn’t get any closer. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Hanging up, he took a minute to absorb what had just happened. She was back. Leah was back. It happened so fast he was reeling. There could be only one thing she wanted and that was to see her daughter. And he was going to make sure that never happened. He would not let Leah hurt Eden like she had hurt him. That was his one thought as he ran for his truck.
* * *
LEAH PACED AROUND the park. She couldn’t sit still. Her nerves felt as if they were tied into a big wad, like Christmas lights that could never be untangled. She looked around the park to calm herself. It sported colorful swings, slides, park benches and picnic areas. There was even a water playground for the kids. Water spewed up from several flat concrete fountains you could run through. She’d seen this in Houston and she never imagined they would have one in little Horseshoe, Texas.
Things had certainly changed since she’d been gone. She’d noticed a lot of new storefronts and several old stores had closed. Horseshoe would always be home, though. When she was twelve, her mother had died and she and her dad had moved there to live with his sister. Her dad had thought it would be good for Leah to have a woman around. In ways it had been, but in others it had been debilitating. Why was she thinking about...? A truck pulled up to the curb and her thoughts came to an abrupt stop. It was Falcon.
There was no mistaking him—tall, with broad shoulders and an intimidating glare. She swallowed hard as his long strides brought him closer. In jeans, boots and a Stetson he reminded her of the first time she’d met him in high school. Being new to the school system, she’d been shy and hadn’t known a lot of the kids. It took her two years before she’d actually made friends and felt like part of a group. Falcon Rebel had been way out of that group. The girls swooned over him and the boys wanted to be like him: tough and confident.
One day she was sitting on a bench waiting for her aunt to pick her up. Falcon strolled from the gym just as he was now, with broad sure strides. She never knew what made her get up from the bench, but as she did she’d dropped her books and purse and items went everywhere. He’d stopped to help her and her hands shook from the intensity of his dark eyes. From that moment on there was no one for her but Falcon.
Now he stood about twelve feet from her and once again she felt like that shy young girl trying to make conversation. But this was so much more intense.
Be calm. Be calm. Be calm.
“I’m...I’m glad you came,” she said, trying to maintain her composure because she knew the next few minutes were going to be the roughest of her life.
His eyes narrowed. “What do you want?” His words were like hard rocks hitting her skin, each one intended to import a message. His eyes were dark and angry, and she wondered if she’d made the right decision in coming.
Gathering every ounce of courage she’d managed to build over the years, she replied, “I want to see my daughter.”
He took a step closer to her. “Does the phrase ‘over my dead body’ mean anything to you?”
At his uncompromising tone her courage faltered, but she stood her ground. “I’ve already seen her, Falcon. But I would like the opportunity to visit with her for a few minutes to explain about the past. She has a right to know the truth.”
“Where did you see her? And when?”
She slid her shaky hands into the pockets of her pants. “I was coming to the ranch this morning and then I saw a red pickup with a young woman. I knew it was her, so I followed her to school.”
“You didn’t...”
“No, I didn’t introduce myself. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Really? Like you would never walk out on her?”
She looked him in the eye. “I’d like to talk about that.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Leah. It’s done. It’s in the past and it’s best if you admit that and go back to wherever you came from.”
“It’s not done—”
“It is, and if you get anywhere near her, I will make your life a living hell.”
Her heartbeat stumbled, but she remained steadfast. “You’re not scaring me, Falcon. I’m her mother and I have a right to meet her and she has a right to know that I’ve thought about her every day since the day she was born.”
He threw back his head and laughed a sound that chilled her to the bone. “That’s a good one. If you think our daughter will believe that for a minute, you’re dreaming. My daughter is much smarter than that.”
“I know she hates me and I’m willing to risk her ire.”
“Then you have no idea about your daughter’s personality. She has a backbone, which is more than you ever had, and if you think ‘I’m sorry’ is going to work with her, then you’re sipping something stronger than water.”
Leah’s heart skittered in panic. “I knew your mother would take care of her...”
“I took care of her.” He jabbed a finger into his chest. “She was my daughter and I raised her, not my mother.”
“What?”
“The crib stayed in my room and I got up with her during the night. I changed her diapers. I fed her and took her with me when I went out on the ranch.”
“Why would you do that when your mother was there?”
“Because she wasn’t my mother’s responsibility. She was mine and yours. Since you bailed, there was only me and I wanted to make sure she knew she had one parent who loved her and would always be there for her.”
A moan left her throat and she was unable to stop it. Falcon was never going to understand, and she didn’t know if she had the strength to keep trying to explain.
“Her doctor sent us to a specialist in Austin to find out why she cried so much and after many tests, they found out she had something as simple as acid reflux. With medication, she did much better and was soon able to sleep during the night. But it was rough for a while. The only way she could sleep was on my chest. I was so afraid I was going to roll over and crush her, so I slept lightly and didn’t get much rest. But we got through it. It’s a shame her mother wasn’t there when she took her first step holding on to my finger or when she started running instead of walking, chasing me out the door. She never wanted me out of her sight. I wonder why that was, Leah? Could it be she knew at that early age her mother had abandoned her?”
“Don’t say that.”
He stared at her and she felt as if he was looking right into her soul. If he was, he could see all the scars, all the pain and all the sorrow. But there was no sympathy on his face. She didn’t believe for one minute that this meeting would be easy and she wouldn’t let his words discourage her from seeing her daughter.
“Does the truth hurt?”
Her eyes met his. “Yes, it does. Is
that what you wanted to hear? I’ve been hurting for a long time.”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. I want you out of Horseshoe just as soon as possible.” He swung toward his truck.
“I want a divorce.”
He swung back, his eyes dark and disturbing. She took a step backward.
“That’s the real reason you came back, isn’t it? You’ve found someone and want to remarry.”
“It’s just time to end our marriage.”
He took several steps toward her and she had to force herself not to take another step away from him. “Here’s another saying, Leah, ‘when hell freezes over.’ That’s when I’ll give you a divorce to marry someone else. You have put me through hell and I’m not going to make life easier for you now. So go back to wherever you found what you were searching for. God only knows what that was. I gave you my heart and it wasn’t enough. So if you’re looking for forgiveness, you’re asking the wrong man. I’ll never forgive you for what you did to us.”
She swallowed the sob in her throat. “Could we talk about that time?”
“The time for talk is over. I really don’t want to hear your excuses. Nothing can excuse what you did to a three-month-old little girl who needed her mother.”
“Falcon...”
“You know how many nights I lay awake with Eden on my chest, waiting for the phone to ring, waiting to hear from her mother, waiting for her to let us know she was okay? The call never came until today, when her mother wants something. How selfish is that? Have a good life, Leah. You will never be free of me.” He strolled off to his truck, his back rigid, his stride rapid and determined to carry him as far away from her as possible.
Leah sank onto the bench because her shaky legs would no longer hold her. She tried to breathe, tried to think and desperately tried not to pass out. She focused on the water spewing up from the pavement. Splat. Splat. Splat. Calming. Soothing. The dizziness eased and she sucked in a deep breath, praying she would never show this weakness in front of Falcon. He said it was over. It wasn’t. She wasn’t leaving Horseshoe until she saw her daughter. Falcon may intimidate her, but he would not break her.