by Linda Warren
The man walked out, and Falcon stood there wondering what he should do next. It wasn’t hard to figure out. He picked up his hat and found his way to the living room and the stairs. He had no idea what the rest of the story was and he had to hear it out to the very end. When he’d started this trip, he never expected anything like this. Leah hadn’t come home because she was sick. She didn’t want him to take care of her. How could she think that? She was his wife and it was his duty to care for her. How had their lives gotten so messed up?
* * *
LEAH PACED IN her room. She was so angry at David she wanted to scream. How dare he interfere in her life! She took a couple of deep breaths and sat down. She had to get control of herself because she knew she had to face Falcon. He was here and he wasn’t leaving. Of that she was sure.
She tensed when she heard the tap at the door.
“Leah, may I come in?”
She curled her hands into fists. What was she going to say? If she told him about the baby, he would take over. She had to be devious and lie to send him away. Her stomach cramped at the thought.
“Go away, Falcon, I don’t want to talk to you.”
The door opened and he came in. Tall, strong and all male. It would be a test of her strength to stand against him.
“I’m here, Leah, and I’m not leaving until we talk.” He walked over to the bed and sat down, facing her. He placed his hat on the bed. She’d seen him do that a million times. That hat went with him more places than she ever had.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the tumor?”
Her mouth went dry. “It...was my choice. I did what I thought was right for me, you and Eden.”
He threw up his hands. “How can you say it was right when it kept you from coming home year after year? I should’ve been the first person called when you recovered your memory. I’ll never understand why I wasn’t. You have a tumor. So what? We’re married and we can work through this. That’s the way right looks to me.”
“It wasn’t your choice. You’re not the one with the tumor. You’re not the one who left.”
“Still...”
She jumped up and walked over to the window. This wasn’t going to be easy—his way was always right.
She turned to face him. “I made a lot of bad choices, but they were my choices to make. Please understand that.”
“I don’t. If you had come home years ago you would’ve been able to see your daughter grow up.”
A pain pierced her heart. “Don’t you think I wanted to? Every day I ached to hold my baby.”
“Then why did the tumor stop you? According to David, it was benign and not life threatening.”
She stared down at the area rug on the hardwood floor. How did she explain her feelings to him? No one was going to understand how she felt at the time.
“Leah...”
“Because I was afraid. Okay? Returning to face you scared me to death. I knew you would never forgive me and I was so afraid Eden would hate me. It was years before they completed all the surgeries and then I had to learn to walk again. It was a long road to recovery and by then I knew you had moved on and my daughter, well, facing y’all paralyzed me with fear.” A tear trickled from her eyes and she brushed it away. “Looking back, I guess I took every excuse to postpone the time when I would have to account for what I’d done.”
Falcon stood. “We deserved to know that you were okay. Did you ever think about that?”
“But would it have made my leaving any easier to bear? And if I had called, you would’ve insisted on coming here and taking over, the way you usually do.”
“That’s what you feared most? Me ‘taking over your life,’ as you put it?”
“Did you ever see me as a person? Someone with thoughts and ideas and emotions that might differ from yours?”
He frowned. “What kind of question is that? Of course I saw you as a vibrant woman with needs and desires and dreams I wanted to be a part of. A part of you.”
She brushed away another tear, hating that he was so kind and she was struggling just to say the right words to keep him from finding out about the baby. She wondered why she wanted to keep the baby from him. He didn’t deserve that. Just as he hadn’t deserved her leaving him years ago.
“Leah...” He took a step toward her.
“No, please don’t touch me. I can’t think when you touch me.”
“Why don’t we stop trying to place blame about the past? It’s over. We can’t go back and change a thing. Let’s move forward now and talk about the tumor. Why did you cancel the surgery?”
She sucked air into her lungs. “I didn’t. The surgeon did.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story. As I’ve told David and the doctors, this is my decision, and I choose to wait for a while before having the surgery.” Her breath stalled and she prayed for courage. “There’s really no need for you to be here and I absolutely do not want you to tell Eden. It would only upset her.”
“I don’t keep secrets from Eden. I’ve been honest with her, even when it hurts. And if you’re worried about your daughter hating you, well, when she finds out you don’t want her here when you’re going through a traumatic ordeal, she really will hate you. You don’t know her very well. She’s a nurturing person. I don’t know where she got that from, but she helps take care of Grandpa and she’s the light in his eyes. She makes sure he has food to eat or anything else he wants. She would fuss over you like a mother hen. I can’t promise not to tell her because I respect her more than that.”
The room swayed and Leah put a hand to her head. So many things were crowding in on her and for the first time she realized she wasn’t thinking straight. David was right. She had to concentrate. She had to make the right decision.
“Are you okay?”
“Just a little dizzy.” She sat down in a chair before she fainted again. She had to be careful about that because she didn’t want to harm the baby. Thoughts rumbled around in her head and she couldn’t make sense of any of them, but she knew she had to start being honest. She had to stop hiding behind the past. She’d made mistakes and she had to correct them now.
“The thought of surgery is frightening,” she said in a low voice. “I’ve had so many—my head, my face, my chest and both legs. Every time I think about the surgery I get cold chills and I back out. That’s the simple truth. I used Miss Hattie to put it off. I’m a coward. I’m afraid I’ll lose my sight or, worse, be in a vegetative state. I’m so scared.”
Falcon didn’t say anything and she looked up to see his face a strange shade of white. Finally, he said, “I’m here, Leah, and I will be here with you to face it. Whatever happens I will be here with you. We’re family. You don’t have to put the surgery off any longer.”
She glanced at her hands that were numb clasped in her lap. “Yes, I do.”
“Why? You don’t have to be afraid. David was right in calling me. We can get through this. You’re not alone.”
“It’s more than that and I’d rather you let me go through this alone. I need to do this alone.”
He frowned again. “Leah, I’m not trying to control you. I just want to help you. I want you to get better so you can enjoy your daughter.”
She tried to stand, but her legs were shaky. She had to tell him, but she feared she would then have no choices left to her. In that moment, she knew she had to trust him. Falcon was somehow different from the young boy she’d married. He was a man now and she had to be adult enough to tell him about their baby.
“I...I asked to have more time before the surgery. I need that time.”
“Why?”
She looked at him then and saw all the worry and concern in his beautiful eyes and it made it easier to say the words. “Because I’m pregnant.”
Chapter Twelve
A time to give in...
“Pregnant! You mean...” Falcon was glad the bed was behind him because his legs grew weak and he plopped onto it. It took him a moment to recover.
“It happened that morning in the hotel. And as it is with us we forgot to use protection. It happened that way with Eden. Being older and more responsible doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to—”
“That’s why David called me.” Falcon’s brain began to function again. He slowly got to his feet. “And you weren’t going to tell me, were you?”
Leah put a hand to her head and Falcon knew she was avoiding the question.
“Were you?” he shouted.
“Okay!” she shouted back. “I’m just trying to figure out all of this and I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“Not sure? It’s my kid. Why would you keep this from me?”
“Because...” Tears rolled from her eyes and Falcon fought to remain steadfast. He wasn’t going to weaken. She wasn’t going to get away with keeping something like this from him.
“This is my second chance to be a mother and I want that with all my heart. I’m just afraid you’ll want me to have the surgery earlier than I want.”
“Oh, man.” A flicker of remorse tugged at his conscience. “The tumor. For a moment I forgot about it.” He took a deep breath and calmed himself. Getting angry wasn’t going to help anyone. “What did the doctors say?”
She brushed back her hair on the right side of her face. She never did that on the left, where part of her hair was missing. He thought of all that she’d been through—and now he’d caused her more pain. He had to stop being angry and think about this rationally. He was known for that, wasn’t he?
“Dr. Morris wants to consult with an obstetrician and an anesthesiologist before making a decision.”
“He might suggest surgery while you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, he says he’s operated on women who’ve had tumors removed while pregnant.”
“Will the surgery harm the baby?”
“Dr. Morris said they’ve had amazing results and the babies have all been born healthy, but there are risks. I want to wait so the baby is stronger and I’ll be less likely to abort it.”
He sat back on the bed, needing a moment to gather his thoughts. He’d never expected this, and he was feeling blindsided and vulnerable and wondering what was the right thing to do for Leah and the baby. In his mind, though, there weren’t any easy answers.
Leah’s head was bent, her dark hair falling forward. She was pregnant with his child and once again it was his fault. In that hotel room, he had been so angry with her and that all changed when he’d touched her. It had always been that way between them. He just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t trust him. Why she couldn’t turn to him?
“Am I such a monster?”
Her head jerked up. “What?”
“You didn’t call me after the accident and you weren’t going to tell me about the baby. Why would you do that? Do you intentionally try to hurt me?”
She shook her head. “No. It really isn’t that. When it comes to you, I’m weak and I give in to whatever you want. This time, I have to be strong for this baby because I want to carry it. I want to be a mother again and I don’t want anyone to take that from me. Even you. And for the record, I would have eventually told you. I was just trying to come to grips with what I have to face now.”
“I’m not going to strong-arm you. I want us to do this together. Could we talk to the doctor?”
She fiddled with her hands in her lap. “Sure, I’ll call him.”
He stood and reached for her hand in her lap. “You and I are facing this together. Understand?”
“Really?”
“I just want to know details.”
Leah brightened instantly. “I don’t know this Falcon. The one who was screaming a minute ago I know.”
“When you’re raising a little girl you learn patience and sensitivity. She has taught me more than anyone in my life, even my dad. She’s brought out the softer side of me.” Falcon didn’t even know he felt that way until he said the words. His daughter had changed his whole world and if he did nothing else on this earth, he wanted to be a good father.
“I’d love to get to know her, too.”
“Well, then, let’s talk to this doctor and see what the future holds.”
Thirty minutes later they sat in the doctor’s office waiting to talk to him. Leah was nervous. She kept fiddling with her hands and Falcon didn’t know how to make the situation easy for her. He didn’t know how to make it easier for himself, either.
When they were called back, Falcon braced himself for the biggest decision of his life. The doctor went over everything in detail and even used diagrams and computer images to show Falcon where the tumor was and how he would remove it. When Dr. Morris mentioned cutting into Leah’s skull to remove a portion so he could reach the tumor, Falcon grew anxious. Could Leah survive that? Would she be okay? Questions beat at him, but he stayed focused on what the doctor was saying.
“I would like to get the tumor out now,” Dr. Morris said. “I’ve consulted with a qualified high-risk obstetrician, Dr. Judith McNeil, and her advice was, as long as Leah’s life is not at risk, to wait as long as possible to give the fetus more time. But the final decision is yours.”
Falcon met Leah’s gaze. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to wait,” she replied in a low voice.
“Dr. McNeil wants to see you to evaluate the fetus.”
The answer to the problem was easy, but by the paleness of Leah’s face he knew it wasn’t.
Falcon had so many questions. “Can she carry this baby to term? And what are the risks to her health? To the baby?”
“When I feel there is a risk to Leah’s health, I will strongly advise to remove the tumor. The biggest risk is the tumor becoming malignant in that length of time. And, of course, her eyesight is at risk. You would have to discuss the baby’s prognosis with Dr. McNeil.”
“You will closely monitor Leah?”
Dr. Morris looked at Leah. “Yes. I want to see Leah every other week. My concern is once your hormones kick in it will cause the tumor to grow. I want to be notified of any changes like coughing up blood, anything out of the ordinary.” The doctor flipped through Leah’s file and pulled out a business card. He pushed it across the desk. “This is a card from Dr. McNeil. I’ve worked with her before and she’s the best in her field. My secretary has made an appointment and it’s on the back.”
Leah reached for the card. “Thank you.”
Dr. Morris picked up some papers and handed them to Falcon. “Here are some articles and literature on tumors in pregnancy. They should answer any lingering questions you have.”
“Thanks.”
“We’ll take this one day at a time.” The doctor stood and shook Falcon’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you and I’m really glad you’re here for Leah.”
The ride back to the house was in silence until Leah said, “Thank you for being here. I know it’s my fault you weren’t, but I never realized how much I needed you.”
“As I told you before we’ll get through this together. You don’t have to do this alone, Leah. I don’t know why you feel you have to, but we won’t go into that. We’re not arguing anymore. It can’t be good for you or the baby.”
“May I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“When David called you, what did he say?”
Falcon negotiated the heavy traffic. “He said if I cared anything about my wife, I’d come to Houston, and he gave me the address.”
“Did you think that was odd?”
“Yes. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about since you said you were going to marry the man. I hadn’t got
ten the divorce papers, so I decided to come and see what was going on for myself.”
“So you came out of a sense of curiosity?”
“I guess.” He had a feeling she wanted him to say something more, but for the life of him he didn’t know what it was.
He drove up to the house and they got out and went in. The aroma in the kitchen was mouthwatering. The Mexican lady had been cooking, and Falcon realized how hungry he was.
“Come, sit down,” the woman said. “It’s time for lunch and I fixed a big meal for Mr. Cowboy.”
Falcon removed his hat. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Miss Leah has to eat healthy and I make sure she eats that way every day.”
“Falcon, this is Alma, my friend and housekeeper,” Leah introduced them. “And Alma, this is my husband, Falcon—or Mr. Cowboy, if that’s what you want to call him.”
“Whatever.” Alma pointed to a door. “There’s a bathroom if you need to wash up.”
Falcon hooked his hat on the back of the chair and headed for the bathroom. When he came out, only Alma was in the kitchen.
“Miss Leah’s washing up. Sit,” Alma instructed in her brusque manner.
Once again he obeyed and thought his brothers would get a good laugh out of that. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but do you live here?”
“Yes, sir. I do. I have my own set of rooms and I’m here for Miss Leah whenever she needs me.”
“Good, because I have to go back to the ranch for a while and I don’t want Leah to be alone.”
“So you’re planning on coming back?” Alma placed dishes on the table.
“Of course.”
Alma thumbed over her shoulder. “Have you told her that?”
“No, but I will.”
Alma shook her head. “She can be stubborn, but I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Who’s stubborn?” Leah asked, coming back into the room and taking a seat across from Falcon.
“The food smells delicious,” Falcon said, to change the subject. “What is it?”
“Smothered steak with mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad and banana pudding. It should stick to your ribs.”