Wait what? What girls was he referring to?
I couldn’t move my feet even if I wanted to. It was as if they were now planted in a bucket of cement. Was my grandfather saying that Uncle Bryce was the father of both my sister and I instead of Drew?
“But it wasn’t supposed to be like this, Daddy. I have sinned against God and committed adultery against my husband. There is no way that I could be forgiven for this. It’s frowned upon,” I heard my mother say.
This explained so much to me at that moment. I had always had a deeper connection with Uncle Bryce than I did with my father. I couldn’t stand that man. I always knew that something wasn’t right with him. I never felt that father daughter connection that I heard girls talk about that they shared with their fathers. Even the relationship that my mom and grandfather had was special. Drew and I never shared that. And after that night I caught him coming home with that woman, anything that I did feel for him was dead that night.
“Listen sweetie,” my grandmother started. “Everything happens for a reason. Now, I don’t condone stepping outside of your marriage, but I also understand that you were vulnerable and being mistreated. Drew never really loved you like he should, and no one was able to open your eyes but Bryce. I honestly prayed that you didn’t marry Andrew and instead married Bryce, but your father told me that we had to let God have His way. This was one time that I feel like had we intervened then your heart would have been spared from being broken.”
What did she mean by my mama’s heart would have been spared? Had she found out about the other woman, and if so, why wasn’t she acting like it? She was still walking around like everything was ok. I didn’t realize that I had been crying until I felt a tear drop on the hand that was covering my mouth.
Easing away from the door, I made my way to my bedroom and closed the door. I didn’t know if I was crying tears of joy or if these were tears of sadness for her. I knew that whatever was going on it was only going to get messier, and I just prayed that God would keep us covered.
I reached inside of my purse to get my phone as I kicked off my sneakers and jumped on my bed. Kammy wasn’t home yet, and I had to get myself together before she got here, just in case I had to step in for Mommy. I was so impatient as I waited for James to answer his phone.
“Waddup doe?” James said as he picked up on the third ring.
Lord this little country boy had my heart skipping beats every time I heard his voice. No one knew that he and I had started a long distance relationship, and we wanted to wait and tell our parents together when they came to my graduation in a few months.
“Drew isn’t my real dad!” I blurted out.
There was no easy way to pour this cup of tea.
“What?” He said, as I heard the basketball in the background bouncing rapidly away.
I knew then he had stopped his basketball game to make sure he had heard me correctly.
“I just heard my mother and grandparents talking about it in her office. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and as I was walking away, I heard Grandpa say it.”
“Wow,” was all he said. I knew he was in a state of shock just like I was a few moments ago. “How do you feel about it?” He asked me once he got his thoughts together.
“Honestly, I’m excited and happy. Like I told you before, I knew that I didn’t have a connection with Drew, and I always wanted that relationship. But I would always get what I needed from Bryce.”
“Well, you know that I understand that. The relationship that I yearned to have with my mother, Monica, I got once I met Nia for the first time.”
James had let me in on everything that he went through with his family when I first met him, and you wouldn’t know that Nia wasn’t his biological mother if he hadn’t told you.
That’s the same way I felt about Bryce. He was so loving and connected to me and my sister that you would think that we were his. Now I knew why.
“Should I tell them that I know?” I asked.
“Pray about it first, Ave. You don’t want to do anything before it’s time. Trust God through it all, ok?”
This was why I loved James so much. He was a young man after God’s own heart, and he always gave the best advice.
“Ok, I will. Just keep us in prayer, please,” I said to him.
“You already know I will. Call me later this evening so I can get back to practice. Coach just got here, and I’m not trying to do anymore suicides today,” he laughed.
“I’ll call you after I finish my homework and Kam is in bed.”
“Bet. I love you,” he said smiling and causing me to blush.
“I love you too, bae,” I said before hanging up.
I would do what James suggested and just pray about the situation. Either way, I had a good feeling that things would work out. I just had no clue that things would get hell fire hot before they cooled off.
Chapter Seventeen
Jewel
To say that I was shocked would have been an understatement. I had no idea that Avery knew about what I had done all of those years ago, and I was so worried that she would hate me or look down on me for it.
“It’s ok, Mommy. I don’t look at you as a bad parent or woman because of what happened. We all fall short of the glory daily, but we can’t dwell in that, or it will consume us. We must pray and keep seeking God through it all. I may be young, but I know that a lot of times people drive themselves crazy about something that they have done, and God has already forgiven them. They just fail to forgive themselves. It’s time for you and Uncle Br-I mean Dad to forgive yourselves and move forward,” I said.
“Where did you come from?” I laughed.
I was so surprised to see her handling this the way that she was.
“So, you’re not mad at us for keeping this from you?” Bryce asked her.
“No. I understood why it was a secret for so long. I’m just glad that it’s out in the open now so we all can move forward,” she said as Kammy came and sat in her lap looking confused.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked my little princess.
“So you are my real Daddy?” She asked, looking over at Bryce.
“Yes, that’s your daddy, Kam,” I told her, waiting on her response.
“And Mr. Drew is my step daddy?”
My poor baby was confused, and it showed all over her face.
“Yes,” Avery responded for me because the lump that just formed in my throat would not allow me to speak.
God knows that I didn’t know what I would do if Kammy took this harder than Avery. She was so young, and the last thing I wanted was for my indiscretions to haunt or hurt either of my children.
“Since you are my real Daddy, does that mean that you will be taking us to Disney World like Mr. Drew promised he would?” She said with the biggest smile on her beautiful face.
Her eyes sparkled like never before when she looked at Bryce, and that gave me a little bit of hope that everything would work out eventually. I watched as Kam got out of her sister’s lap and walked over to Bryce and wiped the tear that was about to fall from his eye.
“Daddy, are you ok?” She asked him in her little sweet innocent voice.
She seemed to be taking this way better than I had imagined. The sparkle in his eye at this moment didn’t even compare to the one he had when he first saw each of them after they were born. Although he couldn’t show it to the world because this was our secret, I knew exactly what he was feeling.
“I am now, baby. I am now,” he said as she hugged him as tight as her little arms would allow.
“So, can we go?” She asked again.
I knew she wasn’t about to let that trip pass her by.
“Let me and your mother talk about it, but I don’t see a problem with it,” he said, making her year.
“YAYYYYY!” She hollered as she ran up the steps.
“I’ll let the two of you talk,” Avery said. Standing up, I walked over to her and held her close. “I love you so much, Mom
my, and we will get through this as a family. Drew will reap what he has sown don’t you worry,” she said as she let me go and headed up to her room.
Chapter Eighteen
Kammy
I couldn't wait to tell my dolls, Serena and Victoria, about us going to Disney World. They were going to be just as excited as I was. We were gonna see Mickey Mouse and even my favorite Elsa and Oloft! Running into my room, I got them out of my bed and sat them up.
"I got something to tell you. My new daddy is going to take us to Disney World!" I said, looking at their faces smiling.
They smiled all of the time ‘cause I was a good mother to them, just like Mommy always made me smile. She was the best mommy ever, and I didn't want to see her cry, but that's all she seemed to do lately. I wish I could fix it so she could smile again.
I held up each of their outfits that I was going to take for them to get their approval, and their smiles once again showed me they were happy about my choices for them.
"We are gonna have soooo much fun together. Just me, and Mommy, and Avey, and Daddy Bryce, and you too.”
“But where is Daddy Drew going to be?” I made one of my dolls say.
I knew I was playing pretend, but that question had me confused. My big sister would tell me. I loved Avery, and she was always there for me just like Mommy was. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.
Running in Avery's room, I jumped in her lap as she sat on her bed listening to music.
"Hey, what are you doing, love bug? You should be getting ready for bed. We have school in the morning."
"I know, but Serena had a question," I said as Avery gave me a knowing look.
"Now Kam, you know Serena can't really talk right?" She asked me.
I knew that, but it was fun to have someone else to talk to, even if it was pretend. I told my dolls a lot of my secrets, and I knew they would never tell a soul.
"Yes. But anyway. If our daddy is Bryce what does that make Drew? Our uncle?" I asked her.
I was happy that he was because sometimes Drew could be really mean to Mommy and Avery, and that would make me sad, but I didn't know what this meant. Would Daddy Drew live with us, was Mommy and Daddy Drew still married? Would he still live here too? And what about those women at church? This was too confusing to me.
"Well Kammy, that's kind of hard to explain, but I will try. See, Mommy and Drew are married, but God blessed us with Bryce being our real dad. He knew that Bryce would love us and never hurt us."
This made no sense to me.
"But if God knew our new daddy would love and never hurt us why didn't he stop Mommy from marrying Drew so she could marry our real daddy?"
"Sometimes we don't always listen to when God tells us to do something. We let other people influence our decisions, and they may not always be good for us. Then, after a while, God will allow certain things to happen in order to remind us of what He told us to do before. It's up to us to ask for forgiveness for being disobedient and start listening to what God tells us. A lot of times it hurts when God gets on to us, but He only does it because He loves us and wants to give us His best."
"Just like when Mommy has to spank me if I don't listen, but then after my punishment, she tells me she loves me still?" I asked.
I remember breaking her China doll and tried to hide it under the bathroom sink. I told a fib, and when she found it in my bathroom, she gave it to me good. Then, later on, she came and explained to me why she had to punish me, but that didn't stop her from loving me. She wasn't mad because I broke it, she was mad because I lied to her about it. Mommy said that everything that is done in the light will be dark, or something like that. I couldn't remember, but it sounded really smart.
"Just like that."
"Can I ask you something else?"
"Of course."
"Why do you hate Daddy Drew so much?"
Before she could answer me, I heard Mommy coming up the steps and telling me it was time for bed. I kissed and hugged my big sister and climbed down to go in my room. I was sleepy. Today had been a busy day for this six year old.
Chapter Nineteen
Avery
God knows I was not prepared to answer that question, and I was so glad that He sent Mommy in the nick of time. Having to go down memory lane and try to explain my feelings to a six year old would have been tough. She barely understood what I tried to explain to her, and there was no way that she could understand why I felt the way I did towards Drew. Shoot, some days I couldn't understand why, but slowly, God was revealing things to me as I got older.
I didn't necessarily hate Drew, but I had a strong dislike for him. As far back as I could remember, I got this funny feeling whenever he was around. I never felt a connection, and often times my grandparents would tell my mother that I was able to discern his spirit. It took me years to understand what that meant, but now I did. I always knew Drew was not here with us because he loved us, but I could never understand why my mother couldn't see it. Blinded by love maybe.
There were so any times that Drew could have been a great husband and father, but whatever demons he had in him wouldn't allow it. I remember the first time that he left me hanging. I was in the second grade, and we had grilled chicken sandwiches for lunch. I never ate the school lunch because Mommy would make it, but this particular day, she wasn't feeling well, so I had to eat what was served.
At first bite, I knew something was off, but my little greedy tail was starving, so I pushed through. By the time we made it back to class, my stomach was feeling queasy, and I knew that at any moment I was about to blow. Before the thought was complete, I was emptying everything out that I had just put in. The nurse couldn't reach Mommy, so she got the number for the church and called Drew.
"Yeah?" He answered like he was being bothered.
For him to be a loving Shepard of a flock, he sure didn't act like it on the regular.
"This is Nurse Rita, and I have Avery here with me. She just left lunch and got really sick and needs to be picked up," she said.
Now, a normal loving father would have dropped everything but not him.
"So call her mother," he said, like that was the only option she had to do.
I could tell Nurse Rita was taken aback, but she kept it professional.
"Well, from my understanding, she is a little under the weather herself. That's why I called you."
"Hold on," he said, trying to cover up the receiver, but I could make out that he was talking to someone in the room with him.
It sounded like a woman, but her voice didn't sound familiar. After a few more seconds of the rustling and voices, he came back to the phone sounding even more agitated than before.
"Someone will be to get her," was all he said before the line went dead.
Thirty minutes later, I saw my Uncle Bryce rush in with a worried look on his face as he asked Miss Ann, the front desk clerk, where I was. Before she could answer, he noticed me sitting in the corner with the trashcan in front of me. He rushed over to me, and all I saw was love and concern for me. Something I never saw in my so called father.
"Come on pumpkin, let me get you home," he said while picking me up in one arm and grabbing my backpack with the other.
That memory was just the first of many that I had of Drew not being there when I needed him. He never taught me how a man should treat a woman, he never made it to any of my recitals or school award ceremonies, he didn't even acknowledge us too much unless it was out in public and mainly around church. He was always saying little smart comments about my mother's weight and her self-esteem. I hated when he did that. But as I got older, I just prayed more that God would open her eyes to what everyone around her already saw. Today may have been rough, but it was definitely an eye opener. I just hated she had to go through so much pain.
Right before I turned off my light and got under my covers, there was a knock at the door and a notification that I received a text. I ignored the text right then and invited whoever it was on the
other side of the door to come in.
"You OK, pumpkin?" My mom asked as she came in and sat down beside me.
"Are you ok?" I asked her, taking the focus off of me.
I would never forget the time that she went into such a deep depression and wouldn't even get out of the bed. I just prayed that didn't happen to her again.
"Don't worry, baby. I'm not going down that dark road again. I have peace in the middle of this storm right now. I just want to make sure my girls are ok," she said, moving a stray curl from my face.
"Actually, I'm better than I have been in a long time, and Kammy will .be just fine. I had a talk with her earlier. It's just gonna be a little while before she really understands what happened, but she's a smart girl. All she cares about is going to Disney World," I said as we shared a laugh.
"Get some rest, baby. Tomorrow will be eventful to say the least," she said, getting up and kissing me on my forehead
"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked.
If we thought today was fireworks then we knew tomorrow would be World War III.
"Laila Ali, Jr, I can handle tomorrow," she giggled calling me by the name that she had given me after a fight I had one year at school.
It wasn't right to beat that girl like that, but God in Heaven knows she tried me to the max.
I didn't know everything that was going to go down tomorrow, but I knew that if Drew showed up as scheduled it was about to go down.
"I love you, Mommy."
"I love you so much more, my baby," she said closing my door.
I looked down at my phone to see my goodnight text from James. As I replied, I couldn't help but to smile as the feeling of unexplainable joy took over my being.
Chapter Twenty
Drew
I woke up sore from the activities of the previous night. Once we got everything under control, Constance made me feel like the man that I was. I looked over at her sleeping peacefully, and though her body was calling me like that old school classic by R. Kelly, I knew that we didn't have time. I had a little over an hour to get to the attorney's office downtown so that I could get those papers signed and my money transferred.
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