by Trina Solet
"It's broken," Jeff said and shot Ned a baleful look.
"I didn't know," Ned said as he poured tall glasses of lemonade for everybody. "We were going to fire it up, but it was rusted."
"You know how that is, Ned. Things get rusty if you don't use them," she said and looked down at Ned's crotch.
"Whoa!" he objected, but she just shrugged and sipped her lemonade.
To get away from her, Ned escaped inside. He also needed to take care of dinner. As he started the oven for the corn to roast, he was surprised to see that Jeff had come into the kitchen as well.
"What can I do?" he asked.
"I can handle things here. You go out and relax," Ned told him.
"There's always something to do," Jeff said and looked around. He started cleaning up and straightening.
Ned wondered at this until he looked past him into the back yard where Mina was hanging out with Nora. "You're scared of Nora, aren't you?"
For a second, Jeff looked like he was going to deny it, then he hung his head in defeat. "Don't send me out there," he pleaded. "She said if I was hers, she would pinch me all day long."
"She would have said something much worse if Mina wasn't right there. Consider yourself lucky," Ned told him. "You can hide in here with me."
"You mean you were hiding too," Jeff realized.
Instead of admitting guilt, Ned told him to help him with the dinner dishes. But Ned had been doing a lot of hiding lately, from his feelings and from Jeff. That kiss only made his longing stronger and he didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do about it.
After dinner, the ice cream cake was served and Nora insisted on having some vodka in her lemonade. Ned didn't trust himself sober much less drunk, so he didn't spike his own drink.
"I never knew how lemonade got to be hard," Jeff said as he watched Ned pour a splash of vodka in Nora's glass.
"Not a word from you, missy," Ned warned her as soon as he saw her open her mouth to speak. He knew she would have something to say about things getting hard. To emphasize his point, he pointed to Mina playing in the middle of the back yard.
The sun had set and the yard was only lit by moonlight and the lights on the back of the house. Going over to see why Mina was looking at the ground, he saw that she had discovered the flowers that had sprung up there. Ned picked one of the tiny blue flowers growing among the blades of grass. They were technically weeds, but he didn't mind them. "These are like your eyes," he told Mina.
She shook her head.
Ned tucked the flower in her hair. "Yeah, you're right. Your eyes are much prettier."
"What if she becomes vain?" Nora asked.
"My sweet, little Mina? No way," Ned said.
"Never gonna happen," Jeff agreed.
Nora looked from him then back to Ned. "Between the two of you, I don't know who is going to spoil her worse."
Nora stayed until after Mina's bedtime so she would be OK to drive home. To keep her from harassing Jeff, Ned made her talk about her work as a reporter. She had some good stories, but she still kept trying to interrogate Jeff and say insinuating things to him. By the end of the night, Jeff got more relaxed around her and took her comments in stride.
"I can't rattle him any more," Nora complained. "If you're going to be like that, I'm leaving."
They walked her to the door and then Ned praised Jeff for his fortitude. "I can't believe you neutralized her. I'm in awe."
"What was her deal with your beard?" Jeff asked. Several times Nora proposed wagers that would end in Ned shaving his beard. Good thing he refused to take her up on any of them.
"Me and Nora have a love hate thing. Loves me, hates my beard."
"Eh, girls," Jeff said and Ned had to chuckle.
There was only a little bit of cleanup to do. Ned tried to tell Jeff that he was off duty. In truth, Ned was hoping to remove the temptation of having him so close, but he insisted on helping out. Ned was trapped. All the things Nora kept saying were going through his head, turning his thoughts dirty. Surreptitiously, he eyed Jeff's impressive body. He could ignite anyone's imagination. No wonder Nora used him as a definition of a hunk.
Caught between his fantasies and the real Jeff so tantalizingly close, Ned got clumsy and almost dropped a dish. Jeff grabbed the dish and Ned's hand, making his heart stop. Ned stared at him then stammered a "thank you" as he stepped away.
That kind of thing wasn't helping him stay focused on what he was supposed to be doing. Flustered and all turned around, he felt like he couldn't find his way around his own kitchen. He went toward the fridge, stood there with his hand on the handle, not sure what he wanted. When he suddenly turned around, he collided with Jeff. The hard impact of his body was both jarring and exhilarating. To steady himself, Ned put his hand on Jeff's chest.
Under the hard muscles of his chest, Jeff's heart beat so fast, almost as fast as Ned's own. So close to him, he could feel the strength of his body and imagine feeling it more intimately as Jeff plowed into him.
Ned pulled away from him, feeling embarrassed. "Are you sure you don't want to go and relax and let me finish up?"
"Do you hate having me here that much?" Jeff asked.
"No, of course not," Ned said quickly. He didn't want Jeff to feel unwelcome. "Quite the opposite," Ned admitted, the truth slipping from him despite his better judgment.
"You like it too much?" Jeff guessed and he was right of course. He stepped closer to Ned but didn't touch him.
His nearness still made Ned's heartbeat and breathing quicken. "Something like that," he said, not willing to make a complete confession.
"Maybe the solution isn't to fight it," Jeff suggested.
"What then? To give in?" Ned said. As he ran his gaze up from Jeff's impressive biceps, over his broad shoulders to the light stubble on his jaw and ending at his mouth, everything inside him said yes.
"Yes," Jeff confirmed and ran his fingertips down Ned's arm.
"Bad idea," Ned said. He reached for Jeff's hand then stopped himself. Another touch and he would be undone.
"Is that because you don't trust me?" Without waiting for Ned's answer, he proposed, "Can you just trust me enough for one kiss?"
"I already did," Ned reminded him, but he couldn't afford to think about that night right now.
"That was a taste. I want a real kiss, one that last so long we get dizzy from it. We breathe from each other's lungs and forget our own names," Jeff said and grabbed his arms, but then he only stared at Ned.
"I'm already dizzy," Ned said. He felt Jeff's words resonate deep inside him and his eyes melt into him.
"I got you," Jeff said and then he leaned in slowly so that Ned had plenty of time to stop him or run or say something.
All he did was move closer, close the distance between them faster, reach for Jeff. Just as their mouths met, he closed his eyes. Then there was only Jeff's mouth. Nothing else was within his awareness, only their kiss and endless falling. Slowly Ned came to realize that he could never fall. Jeff's steely strong arms were holding him tight, almost crushing him as their tongues entwined.
Behind closed eyes, Ned was losing himself. Forgetting everything except how good it felt to be kissing Jeff. He would have never stopped, but Jeff did. Groaning in disappointment, Ned experienced the end of that kiss as a wrenching loss. But Jeff was still there. First he was looking into Ned's eyes then his gaze traveled down to Ned's freshly kissed mouth.
Jeff ran his fingertips over Ned's bearded jaw and grinned. "Ever since I met you, I've been so curious. Kissing a guy with a beard is a new experience. And I didn't get a good feel for it the last time. You ended that kiss and I've been dying for more ever since."
"Really? Plenty of guys have beards, more or less." Ned tried not to look smug since some of those scraggly, so-called beards were truly pitiful.
"Well, I guess I haven't kissed that many guys," Jeff said and turned away a little. He seemed embarrassed by the admission. "I haven't had the chance to get out there much."<
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"What with trying to scrape together a living?" Ned guessed.
"Yeah, I've been busy. I got more action in high school than I did in college."
"It's supposed to be the other way around," Ned said, and that reminded him of something. "Isn't there some guy you're interested in? I remember you telling me about that. I guess that didn't work out." Ned couldn't say that he was sorry about that.
Now that Ned had brought up the subject, Jeff looked kind of cagey about it. Ned started to wonder if he still had reason to worry about the guy that Jeff was into.
"I don't know yet. I'm still working on him," Jeff said and stared at Ned significantly until Ned realized what he meant.
"Are you telling me...?" Ned started to ask and Jeff finished for him.
"That guy was you. You couldn't figure that out?" He was a little dismayed, and so was Ned.
"How was I supposed to know?" Ned asked. "I thought a guy like you wouldn't be into an older guy of average height and above average beard."
"Then I'll just have to convince you."
His eyes blazing, Jeff leaned in slowly until his lips brushed Ned's beard. Ned tried to stop his heart from pounding, get his breathing under control, but he couldn't do that any more than he could stop wanting Jeff.
"We have to stop this," he whispered, his mouth moving against Jeff's.
"Why?" Jeff asked like the answer was unimaginable to him.
Ned stepped away and he hit the edge of the kitchen counter. That was it, only inches away and it was as far as he could go. It wasn't far enough. Jeff was right there, close enough to touch. His gaze filled with undeniable need, he didn't take his eyes off Ned for an instant.
If only Ned could form words, maybe he could explain to him why this was a bad idea. But no words came. His heart and his body were filled with wanting Jeff, and his mind just reeled. Jeff was right there, so beautiful and he wanted him. On its own, Ned's hand reached up to cup his face. It was an unconscious gesture of welcome and acceptance that he didn't intend to make.
As if answering a signal, Jeff moved even closer until he was all Ned could see. He didn't dare to breathe. This was what he was afraid of, this closeness, this undeniable heat. Another small step and Jeff pressed himself against Ned.
Fitting their bodies together, Jeff pinned him, not letting him get away. Jeff's arms went around him and Ned kissed his neck. His hands slid up Jeff's strong back then hooked over his shoulders. Between licks and moans, Ned's mouth moved over his jaw until their lips met.
His whole body melted into that kiss. The whole time Jeff was gripping him tighter all the time. They were as close as they could get unless... No. The thought of what came next snapped him out of it.
He pulled away and immediately placed his hand on Jeff's chest to hold him back. Reaching for him again, Jeff moaned but Ned just shook his head. It was all he could manage. He couldn't speak just yet. His whole body screamed, yearning to be in Jeff's arms again.
Jeff placed his hand over Ned's briefly, then he stepped back. "I'll bide my time and catch you in a moment of weakness," Jeff told him.
Ned smiled at his vow of perseverance. "That is so underhanded and you seem like such an upstanding young man."
Blinded by him, he didn't know if he could resist him next time. Jeff was so close to seducing him. Ned had never met anyone so desirable in his life.
All night, the sensation of Jeff's lips and his body pressing into him was too vivid and alive. It didn't fade no matter how many times Ned relived it. The next day while he was working at his office at the college, his mind kept slipping back. He had so much trouble concentrating that he finally gave up and called Nora. Maybe he wanted her to egg him on. Why else would he call her of all people?
She was glad to hear from him. "I was hoping someone would interrupt me. I thought a journalist's life would be exciting. Now look at me. It's all phone calls, emails and research. And what are you up to?"
"Just a little course prep," Ned told her.
"Course prep is grunt work for the TA," she said.
"I like to be hands on," Ned told her.
"You should be hands on with that hunky manny."
"You're obsessed with him," he said though that statement applied to him a thousand times more.
"Since I've seen him for myself, yes, I am," she admitted. "If he was straight, I would do all the indecent things I know to him and then I would look up more indecent things to do to him. But since he's not straight, it's up to you to do all the indecent things."
"Stop it. Jeff isn't just some random hunk. I think he has been really good for Mina. She's coming out of her shell more because of him," Ned told her.
Having seen that for herself, Nora had to agree. "She did seem livelier. You know what else I noticed when I was at your not-barbeque? Being at your place was exactly like visiting a couple."
Ned denied it. "We were nothing like a couple."
"But you could be. Ned, you can't let a guy like that get away. That's the kind of guy who breaks your bed and you don't even care."
"What makes you think he would even be interested in me?" he asked her. After all she didn't see what the two of them got up to after she left.
"OK, you might have to work for it. Start by shaving your beard," she told him heartlessly.
"Shows what you know. He already hit on me and he likes my beard," Ned boasted.
"Whoa. Shocking." She sounded genuinely surprised. "So you're in, you lucky dog. What does he look like naked? It goes without saying that he's hung, but how hung?"
"I didn't give in. I can't. The situation is too complicated with him working for me and with Mina being so vulnerable," Ned told her, not that he expected her to understand.
And of course she didn't. "You have a hot, young guy who wants you and likes your stupid beard, but you don't want him. Ned, he's a hunk and you're so stupid."
Ned ended their conversation feeling more unsettled than ever. Being yelled at by Nora didn't make him feel any saner or closer to sorting out what to do. The stability of his home life was in one corner, and that was nothing to sneeze at. Mina needed an environment without upheaval. But in the other corner was Jeff. From head to toe he represented everything that was good in the world and everything Ned wanted. And he was good for Mina too. If anyone was worth the risk, he was. Ned just didn't know if he was brave enough.
Chapter 15
Last Saturday, Jeff had been brave and now he was pretty sure something might happen between him and Ned. He didn't push things though. For the past week, he lay low and showed Ned that he could be a gentleman, for a little while anyway.
Saturdays and Sundays were days off for Jeff, but he usually spent most of them with Mina and Ned anyway. Today was Saturday and Jeff was researching some activities for the day that would appeal to Mina. The night before, she had woken up from a nightmare. Jeff didn't know what was going on at first. He heard voices, Ned and Mina's, but she was speaking Russian very fast and sounded upset. When Jeff got out of bed and went over to her room, he heard her say, "Professor?" From the door, he saw that her lamp was on and Ned was sitting with her.
"Yeah, it's me," Ned told her and took her in his arms. "You're safe."
He got her to lie down again and talked to her until her eyes closed in sleep. Once Mina was asleep again, Ned came out and told him about what was going on. "If I hear her speaking Russian in the middle of the night, I know she just had a nightmare. She wakes up kind of disoriented. When she switches back to English, I know she's OK."
"You must be a light sleeper," Jeff said.
"I think all parents are. You sort of become attuned to hearing your kid's voice, knowing when they need you," Ned told him with a sad smile.
As Jeff went to his bedroom, he noticed that Ned went to the den instead. Jeff saw him turn on the light in there. He had a feeling Ned would be up for the rest of the night, ready in case Mina needed him.
The next morning, Jeff didn't see any sign that Mina was
troubled by the nightmare from the night before. Ned looked a little tired though. Jeff considered that he might want to stay in, but then he hit on the perfect outing. He showed Mina first then headed into the kitchen to talk to Ned about it. Going in ahead of him, Mina practically danced into the kitchen.
As he joined Ned and helped him clear up the breakfast dishes, Jeff told him, "I found this place where we can go and pick strawberries, if you feel up to it?"
"That's why Mina looks so happy. Of course I feel up to it. But if you want to have some time for yourself, to hang out with friends or whatever, you have the weekends off," Ned reminded him.
"I don't have any plans, so I thought we could go strawberry picking today. They have vegetables too," Jeff said.
"We are going to load up, pick 'em clean. They won't know what hit them," Ned said and pushed up his sleeves.
Jeff admired his energy and attitude, but then his thoughts took a different turn. As he watched him, all Jeff could think about was how much he wanted to get him naked. Too bad that man was determined to keep him at arm's length. It hurt but what could he do about it? Chase him around the house? Jeff laughed to himself as he pictured that.
Jeff went to get ready and wondered how he could win him over without coming across as some grabby loser. That wasn't easy when Ned was so hard to resist. He always smelled so good. Jeff didn't know what it was only that he wanted to bury his face in that scent. He was dying to explore his scent up close and lick it off Ned's skin.
The Pick & Grow was a short drive out of town that gave Mina plenty of things to look at out the car windows. Jeff was surprised to see her waving at any kids she saw in other cars. She wasn't usually so friendly. When he asked her how come she did that, she said, "Have to."
"Like it's a rule?" Jeff asked.
She nodded and looked very serious about following this rule. Jeff looked over at Ned, but he only shrugged.