The Ten Year Affair

by Hope Raye Collins

  But when it had come time to say good-bye as he left for Berkeley she had never been so miserable. She had cried for two weeks straight and Alex’s mother had been so very understanding. Alex confided in her mother that Ian and she had become ‘intimate’. Her mother had chastised her for having a relationship so young yet had truly listened to Alex and tried to help to ease Alex’s broken heart. Her mother told her it would be okay but that because Ian was her first love, it would be hard for her to get over him. Her Mom had been a great source of comfort then. Alex wished her mother were here now to talk to instead of off in Australia where her father’s work had taken them. She wanted to tell her mother how wrong she had been. She had never gotten over Ian ten years later!

  The magic of that first night and the rest of the summer stayed with Alex and always would. While Ian attended Berkley and Harvard Law School Alex had attended a local college and law school at Indiana University in Indianapolis. She had given up on ever crossing Ian’s path again. She was surprised when she found out he’d accepted a position in the local prosecutor’s office. She had always imagined Ian would become a powerful lawyer in some big city. She didn’t think he’d be happy to settle down in their small Indiana hometown.

  Alex burrowed into her warm bed and wondered how she would ever live on nothing but memories of Ian. She wondered where he was now. Was he with Jennifer? Was he making love to Jennifer while she laid here with her heart breaking? As tears began to fall she heard a knock at her door.

  “Oh please go away,” she thought. “I’m fine but I just want to be alone!”

  She heard a knock again. Her glance at her alarm clock showed her it was just after one a.m. She rose to answer the door wiping the tears from her eyes and wrapping her battered terry cloth robe about her. Halfway to the door she froze at his voice.

  “Alex baby. It’s Ian. Are you up? Are you okay? Please answer baby. Please.”

  Alex felt something must be wrong for Ian to be knocking on her door so late. She ran to open the door and found a very disheveled Ian on the other side.

  “Ian what is it? What’s wrong?” He looked at her questioningly.

  “Nothing’s wrong Alex except that you fainted tonight scaring the hell out of me and I want to know why.”

  “For gods sake Ian it’s 1:00 in the morning. I don’t feel like talking about this. I’m fine and I told you it was a combination of being tired and not eating enough that made me black out for a moment. Now go home or wherever your lady is waiting for you and let me get some sleep.”

  Alex attempted to shut the door but Ian easily stopped it with his hand.

  “Stop being catty Alex and let me in.”

  Alex stepped back sweeping her arm wide indicating to Ian to enter. “The only reason I’m letting you in is because I don’t want you waking the neighbors. Please make this little lecture short Ian. I’m exhausted if you’ll remember which is why I fainted. I’ll be just fine after some good long hours of sleep. What in the world would make you think it was okay to show up at my door at 1:00 in the morning?”

  “I don’t like this Alex. You’re not taking care of yourself. You can’t expect to try these hard, high profile cases without a break down if you aren’t taking care of yourself. You already admitted you’re not eating properly. And it’s not just been since this trial started. It wasn’t too long ago that you looked like absolute hell. Let’s go sit down.”

  Ian grabbed her hand and took her to the sofa. He sat down next to her without letting go of her hand. Alex was very conscious of the feelings that flashed through her body at his touch. When his thumb caressed the back of her knuckles back and forth she nearly fainted again.

  She jerked her hand free from his.

  “Ian. You are not my keeper. There is no reason for you to be here fretting over me. I’m eating just fine and I...and I…” Alex felt nausea rise in her throat and cursed that this would happen now with Ian here. If he guessed why she had really fainted she didn’t know what she would do. “Damn!” she cried, clamped her hand over her mouth and scurried to the bathroom. She reached the bathroom just in time to lose all of what little she had been able to eat last evening. She was thankful now that she had not eaten much. Ian followed after her. He held back her hair and stroked her back as she wretched. Oh why was he here?!

  When she finished Ian handed her a glass of water to rinse her mouth and a towel and kissed her tenderly on the top of the head. He knelt down beside her gently smoothing her hair back from her face. “Feel better?”

  “Oh yeah. Much better thanks,” Alex said sarcastically.

  “Ready to go back to bed?” Ian asked.

  She looked at him and nodded. He rose and gently cradled her in his arms and carried her to her bed. He sat her on the bed, helped her out of her robe and laid her back pulling the covers up to tuck her in. He noticed that Alex was wearing one of his shirts as a nightgown. He’d wondered what had happened to that shirt. He took off his suit coat and threw it on the same chair he always had when they’d made love here. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and went to the bathroom and retrieved a glass of water and a cool washcloth. He placed the washcloth on her head, sat on the edge of the bed and helped her to take a drink of water.

  “Now. Are you ready to admit yet that you need some help? That someone should be here taking care of you?”

  Alex nodded. She really didn’t feel like arguing and it did feel good to have him there.

  “Would you like me to call your grandmother Alex?”

  “Oh, no! No. Please Ian. I don’t want to worry her.”

  “All right. Scoot over then.”

  “Scoot over?” Alex asked.

  “Yeah. Scoot over. I’m staying with you tonight and we’ve slept together enough I don’t feel it’d be improper to cuddle up next to you in case you need me again.”

  She scooted over making room for him as he undressed down to his boxers and lay down next to her. It was habit that she nestled her head under his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. He felt good. So warm and so good.

  “Ian? Why are you here?”

  “Because I need to be Alex. I tried to stay away but I nearly died when you collapsed tonight. I was so scared baby...so scared.” He hugged her to him tighter and kissed the top of her head.

  “Ian I won’t lie. I’m glad you’re here but you have to stop doing this to me. I can’t have you coming and going out of my life all the time. Stay with me tonight. Hold me. But in the morning you have to go.”

  “I know baby. I know. Let’s just enjoy holding each other tonight.”

  He couldn’t say the words. He’d intended to tell her he loved her and would die if anything ever happened to her but he just couldn’t say the words. What the hell was the matter with him? He knew he’d never be happy without her. But she was better off without him. If he told her he loved her she may get ideas about marriage and he’d only make her miserable if they were married. He was married to his job and his goal of becoming a judge. He was holding her now and he’d have to be content with that.

  ***

  Ian awoke the next morning to the sound of retching. He jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom to find Alex once again draped over the toilet.

  “Oh baby,” he muttered and rubbed her shoulders.

  When she finished she crawled on her hands and knees into the hall and sat up against the wall with her head on her knees. Ian sat down next to her bringing with him a cold washcloth and glass of water again just as he had last night.

  “Here baby. Take a drink.” He handed her the glass and she took a small sip and leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Ian patted her face with the cool rag and kissed her forehead.

  “Alex, as soon as your stomach quiets down I’m taking you to the doctor and I’m not going to argue with you. I’ll help you get a shower and get dressed. Is your doctor’s number by the phone?”

  “Ian I appreciate your help but I don’t need to go to th
e doctor. This is just a little bug and it will pass.”

  “Well, I’m sorry Alexandra but you’re an attorney, not a doctor. I’ll feel better when I’ve had a more reliable opinion.”

  Alex opened her eyes and mouth to give him a piece of her mind but saw him grinning. God she couldn’t fight with him when he was flashing that gorgeous smile at her.

  “So tell me when you’re ready baby and I’ll strip you for your shower.”

  Her head was pounding but he could still make her chuckle.

  “You’re a riot Foster. Just take me back to bed and hold me again would you? I'd forgotten how good you feel.”

  Ian rose up and took her up in his arms and gently laid her in the middle of the bed and crawled in beside her gathering her to him. She laid her head on his chest closed her eyes and swiftly drifted off to sleep.

  He hated that she was so sick. She was so pale and fragile. That damn Grainger was going to hear it from him. They were working her way too hard. Someone needed to look out for her and stick up for her. If she wouldn’t do it for herself he would. When a person doesn’t get enough sleep or eat right they catch every bug that comes along. Why just a couple of months ago Alex had looked like she was wasting away from overwork. He may not have a physical relationship with Alex any more but that didn’t mean he couldn’t look out for her and keep her safe. Yeah, Grainger was going to get an earful from him about taking better care of his best employee.

  The phone rang and Ian answered it while Alex snuggled closer to him. Ian spoke softly trying not to wake her.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello? Who is this?” Peter asked angrily. “Is that you Foster?”

  “Yes Grainger it’s me and you’re just the person I want to talk to. Hold on for just a second.”

  Ian placed the receiver on the nightstand and slowly disengaged himself from Alex’s grasp. He went to the living room to pick up the phone there so he wouldn’t wake Alex with the harsh words he had for Grainger.

  “Hello Peter. What the hell is that place of yours doing to Alex? The girl is worn out. She’s been up sick all night and you just dropped her off and left her without a care. She’s the best thing that damn firm of yours has got going so you would think you’d take better care of her. You claim to care about her yet you let her get run down and sick. What the hell is wrong with you Grainger?”

  Peter was boiling. Of all the nerve of this hypocrite. No one had hurt or abused Alex more over the last few years than this asshole and Alex catches a bug and he has the nerve to blame Peter for working her too hard.

  “I am not going to have this conversation with you Foster. I want to know what the hell you are doing there with Alex!”

  “Why Peter? Why do you care? Are you jealous? Are you afraid of what might have happened between Alex and me last night? Well, you don’t need to worry. Nothing happened because as I said she was up sick all night. I was here helping her out which is where you should of been or at the very least called her grandmother to come take care of her. In case you care, I’m taking her to the doctor this morning and I’m sure one thing he’s going to tell her is that she needs to get some good long rest so you better be looking to find someone to take over some of her caseload.”

  “So Foster. You’ve appointed yourself her keeper. What does Alex have to say about that? You’d like it if someone else took over the Jacobs case wouldn’t you? Afraid she might get you this time Foster? Where the hell is Alex? Let me talk to her.”

  “She’s sleeping and I’m not going to wake her up. She didn’t sleep well last night. She tossed and turned all night. I’ll let you know what the doctor says but don’t expect her in the office tomorrow either. I can tell you that much already. We’ll finish this conversation later.”

  It gave Ian great satisfaction to hang up on Peter. If Peter had been there now he’d have torn him apart. For someone who supposedly loved Alex he sure had a strange way of showing it. If Alex was his he’d never leave her alone when she was sick. He’d always be there to care for her. He wanted to always care for her but he just couldn’t make that commitment. It wouldn’t be fair to Alex to play second fiddle to his career. He would help her get through this illness as any good friend would.

  ***

  Peter was back at the office pacing with anguish. She let him in the apartment. Not only did she let him in, she let him spend the night. Peter tried to remember that Alex was ill and very weak but it still irked him that she would let Foster care for her when she had practically pushed him out the door. Competing with Foster was futile. Peter knew that if he ever got Alex to accept his proposal he’d still always be competing with Foster. But if he could get Alex to marry him he knew she would never cheat on him. Alex would honor their vows and be true to him. Maybe not always true in her heart but Peter would rather have her that way than no way at all. He was just as obsessed with Alex as Alex was with Foster. He knew he could make Alex happy if he could just have the chance. Foster was never going to ask Alex to marry him. That was clear since he’d not done so in ten years. Alex would give in eventually to Peter’s advances and when she did Foster would finally lose one to the firm of Grainger and Anderson. Foster could gloat all he wanted right now about one night.

  Chapter 8

  Ian heard some rustling in the bedroom. Alex must be waking up.

  “Ian?, Ian?!”

  “I’m here baby. I’m here,” Ian called as he rushed to the bedroom.

  “I need...I need...”

  She didn’t need to say any more. Ian could see she needed to get to the bathroom to be sick again. He carried her from the bed to the bathroom reaching just in the nick of time. He hated to see her like this. He had to get her to the doctor. She was probably in danger of dehydration. To hell with the doctor he was getting her to the emergency room. He held her hair away from her face as she got sick. When she was finished and leaning back against the wall in the hallway again he brought her some cool water, got dressed and prepared to take her to the hospital.

  “What are you doing Ian? You’re not leaving are you? Please tell me you’re not leaving.”

  “We’re both leaving baby. I’m taking you to the hospital. I’m afraid you might be dehydrated and I’m not taking any chances. I want you well and on your toes next week when the Jacobs trial starts. I don’t want people saying I won just because you weren’t feeling up to par.” He was teasing again but this time she didn’t laugh.

  “Ian. You have no right to boss me around. This will pass and I’ll be fine. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “Damn it Alex I’ve held your head enough and I’m worried. I say you’re not fine and this isn’t something that will just ‘pass’. You need to see a doctor.”

  “No Ian. Please don’t argue with me. I know what I’m talking about!”

  “Alex, I don’t want to fight. Either let me take you to the doctor or god help me I’m calling your grandmother.”

  “Oh gee thanks Ian. Now you’re not only bossing me around but threatening me too. You’re such a pal. Would you please just go?”

  “I’m not like your best friend Alex. You’re not getting rid of me that easily when I can see you need help. Now come on get up. Either get dressed or I take you as you are.” Alex thought she was going to be sick again when she realized she was wearing a shirt of Ian’s. “That’s just great,” she thought. “Now he knows I’ve been moping over him.”

  “I’m not going anywhere Ian Foster and fighting with me is not making me feel better.”

  “All right. That’s it”. Ian grabbed his car keys from the night stand and bent over to pick Alex up.

  “Ian put me down. I’m not kidding this is ridiculous.”

  “I’m not kidding either Alex. Just humor me. If a doctor tells me you’re fine I’ll listen and leave you alone.”

  “Damn it Ian! I’ve already seen a doctor and he said the same thing I told you. It will pass.”

  “Is that right? Well, what the hell did he say is
wrong with you Alex?”

  “That’s none of your business Ian. Now put me down.”

  “No way. What’s wrong with you? Tell me or we’re off to the hospital.”

  Oh, god. She wasn’t handling this well.

  “I repeat. It is none of your business. I’m a grown woman and capable of looking out for myself. If I was in doubt at all that I was fine I’d let you take me to the hospital. But I don’t want a hospital bill for nothing. Now please put me down.”

  “I’ll pay your damn bill. Tell me what this ‘nothing’ is and maybe then I’ll put you down.”

  Alex didn’t know what to do. He was going to find out eventually and he was offering her the perfect opportunity to blurt it out. She might as well take a deep breath and get it over with.

  “Oh, damn it Ian. I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant! Fainting and retching are all a very normal part of pregnancy!”

  Ian’s stomach fell. She was pregnant? Why did his heart sink? What did he care if she was pregnant? Pregnant. That certainly explained the fainting and vomiting.

  “Pregnant?” he said as he laid her on the bed and sat down on the edge next to her. “You’re pregnant?” He couldn’t help but show how shocked he was. His Alex was pregnant with someone else’s child. You knew this was coming Foster. She’s making a life of her own that doesn’t include you. Just like you wanted. Just like you thought you wanted.

  “Yes Ian I’m pregnant. So you see? I'll be fine. This sickness will pass and I’ll be fine.”

  None of this made any sense. If she was pregnant why did Peter leave her alone? Why hadn’t he stayed to care for her last night?

  “Does Peter know?” Ian asked.

  “Does Peter know? Why...,” Alex began. Even though she had told him time and time again that she did not have that kind of relationship with Peter he still thought the baby was Peter’s. Well, that was probably a good thing right now. He didn’t yet realize he could be the father.

  “No Peter doesn’t know.”