Still, Mary wanted it, and I couldn’t fight it. I’d had my chance to be a good father, a good husband, and I’d run from my responsibilities and literally waged war across much of the Middle East for most of my lifetime. Now things were winding down, and I hadn’t passed my psych evals after the last hospital stint in Germany, where I’d lied to Mary over the phone about how bad I’d been hurt. It wasn’t the shrapnel that had hurt me, it was losing Michael. It was all the killing, all the blood, and the whole pointless mission.
We weren’t really there to give them freedom, we were there to affect a regime change, one that was beneficial to our own government. That realization had hit me hard, coupled with losing my best friend, and the knowledge that my entire career was spent avoiding my duties to my family. I’d lost my military family in that bank shootout in Falluja, I’d lost more friends off and on during the campaigns, and now I was losing Mary and Maggie because I was a failure.
“It’s not going to be forever, Daddy,” Maggie said, taking my hand. “Mom said once we get settled in you can come visit.”
“I know, sweetie,” I told her, trying not to tear up. “I’ve got an apartment, and I start a new job next week. As soon as all of us get settled, I’ll come visit. If that’s still ok with you, Mary.”
Tears glistened in her eyes as well, and she took my hand in hers.
“Richard,” she said, taking my hand with both of hers now, pulling me close so she could whisper. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This is the only thing I can do to help you. To help us, someday. I want you to go to the doctors, I want you to take your medicine, and I want you to quit the drinking and pills. I love you, but I can’t live with who you are right now. It’s not good for you, it’s not good for us, and it’s not good for Maggie to see.” Then she leaned in close and kissed me.
I could taste the salty tears running down her cheeks and onto her lips, and I was crying too. The kiss ended too soon, and Mary stepped back to stand next to Maggie. With nothing else to do, I picked up my bags and turned to face them.
“I love you both, it won’t be long,” I promised myself, but how many times had I made that promise.
About quitting the booze, the pain pills, about not taking out my frustrations on my family with angry words I didn’t mean.
“I love you, Daddy,” Maggie said, taking her mom’s hand, to comfort her. “I’ll see you in Arkansas soon.”
The five figures had waded into the water to their knees and filled all their jugs and bottles. Other than the fact that they were dirty, disheveled, and thinner than normal American adults seemed to be, they were smiling. The woman reached down with one hand and splashed another, and soon a water fight erupted. When the woman jumped on another man and pushed him underwater, I had to smile. It was too normal-looking. The laughter, the grins.
I lowered myself to a prone position, aware of the fact that their noise might draw unwanted attention, but Mel looked back at me and smiled. I grinned back and pointed two fingers at my eyes and then to the pond to signal her to watch, and she nodded and went back to where she was looking. After an hour, five soaked but cleaner men and one woman left the pond, carrying their containers, each step in their wet shoes making a squelching noise. When they were gone, I rolled on my back and rested the shotgun on my stomach. I pulled my boonie hat out of my big pack and put it on over my face.
“Who’s got the next watch?” Mel asked.
“Up to you two. I could sleep for a couple more hours, to be honest. We’ll need to wait until dark to leave, so we might as well rest up,” I told them.
“I got this,” Mel said, smiling.
It was more than a couple of hours when I awoke. It was starting to get dark, and Mel, Jamie, and Luis were snoring softly. I rolled over and saw Courtney sitting, her back against the pine tree we’d been lying down under.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” she replied, her expression hard to read.
“Did you get any sleep?”
“Yeah, we figured you needed a little more. You were the one shot not too long ago, and now you’re riding a marathon with the biggest pack.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling a little headachy and parched.
I grabbed my canteen and swallowed enough water to quench my immediate thirst and then put it back.
“Can I ask you something?” Courtney asked, her expression still unreadable.
“Sure,” I said, looking all around. It was quiet, but there was nothing in sight that I had to worry about.
“Why are you taking Luis and me with you? I mean, I get the impression you don’t want us here.”
That stopped me cold, and I thought about my words before I told her, “I made a promise to Mel over there,” I said, pointing to her sleeping form. “And after I drop them off, I’m going to find my ex-wife and daughter.”
“So do you think we’re slowing you down? Is that why you’re… pushing Luis?”
“I’m not pushing him. I told everyone when we started, my rules, my way. I’ll take suggestions, but in the end, there’s just some things that have to be done my way. I’m sorry if I’m not going as fast as he wants. We just can’t be careful enough.”
“He’s worried about running out of food,” she said, picking up a stick from the ground and breaking it into little pieces. “So am I. I could only get enough food in my pack to last us about two weeks. That isn’t enough to get us to Texas.”
“We’ll have to improvise on the way,” I told her simply.
“But how? People aren’t going to just give us food.”
Then it struck me. She hadn’t been with me in the tunnels; she didn’t know that I knew how to trap and hunt, even in the city. I guess I hadn’t really explained that part to Luis and Courtney, and I felt like an ass.
“I’ve got snare wire, and we can hunt along the way. Believe it or not, people who turned their pets loose when they couldn’t feed them aren’t unusual. Probably some farms are going to have that happen at some point too. The feed won’t last forever, unless they have stocks they grow themselves. Speaking of that, we’re going to be riding through the grain belt of America, and things are going to be ready soon.”
“But that’s like stealing,” Courtney said.
“Modern farm equipment won’t be out in the fields to harvest it. A lot is going to spoil. Is this really what’s been bothering you two?”
“Yes,” Courtney admitted.
“God, I’m sorry,” I said, rubbing my hand across the stubble on my face.
“You really aren’t worried?” she asked me.
“Do you remember the night I found you?”
“Yes.” Her careful mask cracked, and I could see fear leak into her eyes.
“You trusted me then, trust me now.”
“I tried to kill you first though,” she said, her eyes misting up.
“You’d had the worst month of your life. You were suspicious, and I don’t blame you. I had to show you I trusted you so you would start to trust me.”
“When I heard the pistol click, I thought, is this it? And then I looked up, and you were still there.”
“I knew you might do that,” I said.
“Well, I did.”
“You saved my life. I think we’re kind of even, Courtney.”
She wiped her eye and looked at me and grinned. A groan had us both turn to see Luis sitting up, his hands going to his forehead.
“Thank you anyways,” Courtney told me.
“I’m going to get all the containers and go fill them. We can get a quick snack in and then we’re going to be off by dark.”
“Hey Luis,” Jamie muttered, sitting up, followed by Mel. “Where’s that bathroom spot?”
“Go that way, by the elm,” he told her.
I pulled out my own folding shovel and held it out to her. She looked at it for a minute and then shook her head.
5
Leaving Chicago behind us was almost anticlimactic. I’d gotten the
water, we’d eaten a quick bite, and we’d buried our trash. Everyone was sore, so Courtney had us all start out with a stretch. I felt kind of stupid at first, watching her, and then it shocked me when I realized that she was doing things that normal people couldn’t do. In her former life, she had been a yoga instructor. In the post-apocalyptic world, she was now the same as everyone else. Survivor. Everyone else was stretching, and I took some ribbing and did some as well. I knew it would work, but I hadn’t expected my back to pop and crack with every movement.
Getting old really sucked.
The batteries on my NVGs were mostly dead, and I had one more charged for each of ours, so I relied on the moonlight. The Russian military surplus NVGs weren’t the best, but they worked. Some of the radios and equipment we’d taken from that gang had been stored on the ship. A shipping container full of smuggled supplies was probably shielded six ways to Sunday to defeat x-ray and whatever else they used at the ports, so it would make sense if they had inadvertently made a Faraday cage out of it.
At least that’s what I thought. The truth was, there were many nights I sat and wondered about things before sleep took me. One was the absence of a direct response by our government. I’d heard about FEMA and DHS responding in certain areas, but I’d been underground when they’d come through Chicago and rounded up all those they could. Before we left, I was starting to hear chatter on the handsets that could tap into the ham bands, but I didn’t want to get the radio out until we were clear of the city.
“I can see really far tonight,” Mel said from somewhere behind me.
“Yeah, the moon is full tonight,” I told her. “Makes it easier to see. Just remember, though, it makes it easier to be seen also.”
“Is that why we’re going a little quicker tonight?” Jamie asked, pulling up next to me.
I was going to mention that she was supposed to be following me, but I realized that it was a bright enough night we could ride abreast of each other and still avoid the stalled cars. Most of them had pulled to the far right lane and shoulder, leaving a lot of room in the leftmost lanes and shoulder. Occasionally, though, we had to dodge some cars.
“In part,” I said, feeling the burn in my legs. “Plus, traffic isn’t as congested. In Chicago, there were too many overpasses and spots where people could set up roadblocks. There aren’t very many here, and it doesn’t take as much to make sure we’re safe.”
“Dick, I hate to ask, but are we going to be breaking soon? I’m getting a charley horse,” Luis said.
“We can stop now. Let’s glass the area and make sure we’re alone,” I told him, dropping the NVGs down over my eyes and turning them on.
The greenish tint blinked into life, and in a couple moments, I could make out the surroundings as we all braked to a halt. The asphalt and stalled cars ran for as far as I could see in both directions and, other than the heavy breathing we all were doing, the night was quiet.
“We good?” Luis asked, allowing Courtney to dismount before he got off his bike.
“Yeah,” I told him, turning off the goggles and pushing them up.
I got off my bike and leaned it against a stalled car. Pulling the big pack off my shoulders, I laid it on the hood of a new Ford Focus Electric that had been abandoned.
“Everybody get a drink,” I said.
“And then stretch,” Courtney piped up.
I groaned, but Mel gave me a wry grin and started stretching. Punk. She had youth and age on her side and was having fun. I had to smile back, because truth be told, I was kind of having some fun too. And now that I knew what was up with Luis and Courtney… I hadn’t talked to Luis about it yet, and Courtney said she would, but I didn’t want to put it off much longer.
“Hey, do you know how to trap and snare?” I asked him, sitting in the grass of the un-mowed median next to him.
“No, never learned how,” he said, gasping in pain as his hands worked the muscle in his left leg.
“Drink some water first. Dehydration will do it to you every time,” I told him, pulling his canteen off the top of his rucksack.
“Thanks.” He took a long pull of water.
“No problem.”
“The trapping, is that how you were planning on getting enough food to last us through the whole trip?”
“Just one way, plus picking some corn as we go. It’s what, late July, maybe August now? It’s ready,” I told him.
A look of relief washed over him, and he put his bottle down and kept working on the muscle of his leg.
“You might have to walk it off, hun,” Courtney said, walking over and sitting beside him.
“Make room,” Jamie whispered and plunked down next to me with Mel sitting on the edge of the asphalt in front of us.
“It’s so open out here,” Mel said. “How far are we?”
“I see signs for Aurora coming up, so I figure we’ve done close to twenty miles so far. There’s a forest preserve,” I said aloud.
We were making great time, to be honest, but I didn’t want to push everyone so fast and so hard that we’d have an injury that could stop us for a week or two. Sure, we had alternates to ride the bikes for a while, but Luis was twice Courtney’s size, and Mel was fifteen and had a lot of growing to do. Still, I mulled that thought over.
“What if we stopped early tonight?” Courtney asked.
“Why would we do that? We’d just eat up food that we might need later on,” Luis told her, looking from her to me.
“I was kind of wondering that myself,” Jamie asked. “Or see if I can get this sprat to ride the bike for a while so I can stretch out.”
“Standing on the back of the bike with a pack is no joke, Mom,” Mel chided. “Plus, I have to keep balance because you haven’t ridden a bike in eleventy billion years or something.”
I snickered, and Jamie ripped a handful of grass and threw it at her daughter. It hit her full in the face, and Melanie sputtered, her eyes big.
“Oh, no you didn’t,” Courtney snickered.
“This time, I did,” Jamie said. “But if you want to try, maybe we can get farther. I’m kind of embarrassed at how out of shape I am.”
“You look good to me,” Mel said. “Dick, doesn’t she look good?”
I looked her over next to me. Her raven-black hair was tied back with a dark-colored bandanna, the length left to flow free over an olive drab t-shirt that was soaked with moisture. Her chest was heaving, and I noticed she saw me looking her over. I quickly looked up and met her eyes. Her face was blank. Shit, I got caught checking her out, and I wasn’t checking her out like that.
“None of us are in this kind of shape, kiddo,” I told Mel, breaking her gaze. “What we’re doing, I mean…”
“You’re just avoiding the question,” Luis said with a smirk.
“No, I’m not!” I said indignantly.
It was a good thing it was dark, because I knew my face was turning red. I loved my Mary, and I wouldn’t do anything, but damn. It was difficult for me to be around beautiful women. I looked to Mel, who had her nose scrunched up, making a face at me. I shot her a funny face back, and I was hit in the side of the head with a wad of something dry and scratchy.
I rolled as another chunk flew my way and hit Jamie in the shoulder.
“Hey,” I said, pulling the grass off my face.
It stuck where my shirt was damp with sweat, and I brushed it off as another handful hit me again, this time from the other direction.
“Ok, now this is getting ridiculous,” I grumbled and was tackled.
Mel had launched herself with a handful of grass in my direction. Instead of shooting past me and hitting me on the way by, I’d rolled to my side to protect my eyes. Mel had other thoughts. She hit me in the chest, and I pulled her and used the momentum to flip me over so I was sitting on my butt. She’d almost knocked the air out of me, but she was giggling hysterically as I held her across my lap. Bits of grass and chaff were stuck to her hair and face and for a moment…
“You’re a good kid, Maggie,” I told her, standing up. “But we have to get going if we’re going to head out.”
I took another long pull of water and brushed myself off, smiling because the world hadn’t taken the playful nature out of her yet.
“Ok, Dad,” Maggie said, giving me a quick hug.
I almost missed the expression on Jamie and Courtney’s face as I hugged my daughter back. I puzzled over it and let her go. I splashed some water on my face, getting the worst of the grass and grit off from the tumble.
“Dick…” Luis said. “Hey man…”
“What?”
“That’s Mel,” Luis said, pointing it out.
“Yeah, I know, that’s what I said,” I told him, flushing even worse.
“Mr. Luis,” Mel said, walking up to him as both he and Courtney stood. “Dick gets confused sometimes. I think it embarrasses him worse if you point it out to him. I’m ok with being his Maggie when it happens.”
“Oh sweetie,” Jamie said, walking over and hugging her daughter.
I shouldered my pack after storing things and got to my bike. I was embarrassed. I’d really thought it was her for a minute there. I’d slipped up again, and I hadn’t realized it until Luis pointed it out. I didn’t know why. I’d been so much better this past month, but for a second, I was so sure…
“You’re a good kid,” Courtney told her, then rubbed a handful of grass in the kid’s face, that she’d had hidden behind her back.
That almost caused another ruckus, but it died off when Luis cleared his throat and Jamie called for her to quit screwing around. Nobody was angry, but it was definitely past time to go. I pulled the picture of them out of my vest pocket and stared. My Maggie, my Mary. Well, not mine anymore. I’d gone and messed things up. Now that I was clean, maybe she’d give me a second chance. I could change. The point was moot till I got there though.
“Dick…” Jamie said. “It’s ok. I don’t know everything about what happened,” she started telling me while getting on the bike, “but everything you’ve shown us is that even when you think she’s Maggie for a second… you’re never a danger to her. I think my daughter’s right about the embarrassment being worse.”
The Devil's Road: Devil Dog Book 2 (Out Of The Dark) Page 4