by Colin Dexter
‘You can’t really be serious, can you, Inspector?’
‘I’m always serious when I’m investigating murder.’
‘You don’t think – you can’t think that I had anything to do with that? On Monday night? Why, I hardly knew the man.’
‘I’m not interested in how well you knew him.’ It seemed an odd remark and her eyebrows contracted to a frown.
‘What are you interested in?’
‘I’ve told you, Mrs Phillipson.’
‘Look, Inspector. I think it’s about time you told me exactly why you’re here. If you’ve got something you want to say to me, please say it. If you haven’t . . .’
Morse, in a muted way, admired her spirited performance. But he had just reminded Mrs Phillipson, and now he reminded himself: he was investigating murder.
When he spoke again his words were casual, intimate almost. ‘Did you like Mr Baines?’
Her mouth opened as if to speak and, as suddenly, closed again; and whatever doubts had begun to creep into Morse’s mind were now completely removed.
‘I didn’t know him very well. I just told you that.’ It was the best answer she could find, and it wasn’t very good.
‘Where were you on Monday evening, Mrs Phillip-son?’
‘I was here of course. I’m almost always here.’
‘What time did you go out?’
‘Inspector! I just told—’
‘Did you leave the children on their own?’
‘Of course I didn’t – I mean I wouldn’t. I could never—’
‘What time did you get back?’
‘Back? Back from where?’
‘Before your husband?’
‘My husband was out – that’s what I’m telling you. He went to the theatre, the Playhouse—’
‘He sat in row M seat 14.’
‘If you say so, all right. But he wasn’t home until about eleven.’
‘Ten to, according to him.’
‘All right, ten to eleven. What does—’
‘You haven’t answered my question, Mrs Phillipson.’
‘What question?’
‘I asked you what time you got home, not your husband.’ His questions were flung at her now with breakneck rapidity.
‘You don’t think I would go out and leave—’
‘Go out? Where to, Mrs Phillipson? Did you go on the bus?’
‘I didn’t go anywhere. Can’t you understand that? How could I possibly go out and leave—’
Morse interrupted her again. She was beginning to crack, he knew that; her voice was high-pitched now amidst the elocutionary wreckage.
‘All right – you didn’t leave your children alone – I believe you – you love your children – of course you do – it would be illegal to leave them on their own – how old are they?’
Again she opened her mouth to speak, but he pushed relentlessly, remorselessly on.
‘Have you heard of a baby-sitter, Mrs Phillipson? – somebody who comes in and looks after your children while you go out – do you hear me? – while you go out – do you want me to find out who it was? – or do you want to tell me? – I could soon find out, of course – friends, neighbours – do you want me to find out, Mrs Phillipson? – do you want me to go and knock next door? – and the door next to that? – of course, you don’t, do you? You know, you’re not being very sensible about this, are you, Mrs Phillipson?’ (He was speaking more slowly and calmly now.) ‘You see, I know what happened on Monday night. Someone saw you, Mrs Phillipson; someone saw you in Kempis Street. And if you’d like to tell me why you were there and what you did, it would save a lot of time and trouble. But if you won’t tell me, then I shall have to—’
Of a sudden she almost shrieked as the incessant flow of words began to overwhelm her. ‘I told you! I don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t seem to understand that, do you? I just don’t know what you’re talking about!’
Morse sat back in the armchair, relaxed and unconcerned. He looked about him, and once more fastened his gaze on the photograph of the headmaster and his wife above the large bureau. And then he looked at his wristwatch.
‘What time do the children get home?’ His tone was suddenly friendly and quiet, and Mrs Phillipson felt the panic welling up within her. She looked at her own wristwatch and her voice was shaking as she answered him.
‘They’ll be home at four o’clock.’
‘That gives us an hour, doesn’t it, Mrs Phillipson. I think that’s long enough – my car’s outside. You’d better put your coat on – the pink one, if you will.’
He rose from the armchair, and fastened the front buttons of his jacket. ‘I’ll see that your husband knows if . . .’ He took a few steps towards the door, but she laid her hand upon him as he moved past her.
‘Sit down, please, Inspector,’ she said quietly.
She had gone (she said). That was all, really. It was like suddenly deciding to write a letter or to ring the dentist or to buy some restorer for the paint brushes encrusted stiff with last year’s gloss. She asked Mrs Cooper next door to baby-sit, said she’d be no longer than an hour at the very latest, and caught the 9.20 p.m. bus from the stop immediately outside the house. She got off at Cornmarket, walked quickly through Gloucester Green and reached Kempis Street by about quarter to ten. The light was shining in Baines’s front window – she had never been there before – and she summoned up all her courage and knocked on the front door. There was no reply. Again she knocked – and again there was no reply. She then walked along to the lighted window and tapped upon it hesitantly and quietly with the back of her hand; but she could hear no sound and could make out no movement behind the cheap yellow curtains. She hurried back to the front door, feeling as guilty as a young schoolgirl caught out of her place in the classroom by the headmistress. But still nothing happened. She had so nearly called the whole thing off there and then; but her resolution had been wrought up to such a pitch that she made one last move. She tried the door – and found it unlocked. She opened it slightly, no more than a foot or so, and called his name.
‘Mr Baines?’ And then slightly louder, ‘Mr Baines?’ But she received no reply. The house seemed strangely still and the sound of her own voice echoed eerily in the high entrance hall. A cold shiver of fear ran down her spine, and for a few seconds she felt sure that he was there, very near to her, watching and waiting . . . And suddenly a panic-stricken terror had seized her and she had rushed back to the lighted, friendly road, crossed over by the railway station and, with her heart pounding in her ribs, tried to get a grip on herself. In St Giles’ she caught a taxi and arrived home just after ten.
That was her story, anyway. She told it in a flat, dejected voice, and she told it well and clearly. To Morse it sounded in no way like the tangled, mazy machinations of a murderer. Indeed a good deal of it he could check fairly easily: the baby-sitter, the bus conductor, the taxi driver. And Morse felt sure that all would verify the outline of her story, and confirm the approximate times she’d given. But there was no chance of checking those fateful moments when she stood outside the door of Baines’s house . . . Had she gone in? And if she had, what terrible things had then occurred? The pros and cons were counterpoised in Morse’s mind, with the balance tilting slightly in Mrs Phillipson’s favour.
‘Why did you want to see him?’
‘I wanted to talk to him, that’s all.’
‘Yes. Go on.’
‘It’s difficult to explain. I don’t think I knew myself what I was going to say. He was – oh, I don’t know – he was everything that’s bad in life. He was mean, he was vindictive, he was – sort of calculating. He just delighted in seeing other people squirm. I’m not thinking of anything in particular, and I don’t really know all that much about him. But since Donald has been headmaster he’s – how shall I put it? – he’s waited, hoping for things to go wrong. He was a cruel man, Inspector.’
‘You hated him?’
She nodded hopeless
ly. ‘Yes, I suppose I did.’
‘It’s as good a motive as any,’ said Morse sombrely.
‘It might seem so, yes.’ But she sounded unperturbed.
‘Did your husband hate Baines, too?’ He watched her carefully and saw the light flash dangerously in her eyes.
‘Don’t be silly, Inspector. You can’t possibly think that Donald had anything to do with all this. I know I’ve been a fool, but you can’t . . . It’s impossible. He was at the theatre all night. You know that.’
‘Your husband would have thought it was impossible for you to be knocking at Baines’s door that night, wouldn’t he? You were here, at home, with the children, surely?’ He leaned forward and spoke more curtly again now. ‘Make no mistake, Mrs Phillipson, it would have been a hell of a sight easier for him to leave the theatre than it was for you to leave here. And don’t try to tell me otherwise!’
He sat back impassively in the chair. He sensed an evasion somewhere in her story, a half-truth, a curtain not yet fully drawn back; and at the same time he knew that he was almost there, and all he had to do was sit and wait. And so he sat and waited; and the world of the woman seated opposite him was slowly beginning to fall apart, and suddenly, dramatically, she buried her head in her hands and wept uncontrollably.
Morse fished around in his pockets and finally found a crumpled apology for a paper handkerchief, and pushed it gently into her right hand.
‘Don’t cry,’ he said softly. ‘It won’t do either of us any good.’
After a few minutes the tears dried up, and soon the snivelling subsided. ‘What can do us any good, Inspector?’
‘It’s very easy, really,’ said Morse in a brisk tone. ‘You tell me the truth, Mrs Phillipson. You’ll find I probably know it anyway.’
But Morse was wrong – he was terribly wrong. Mrs Phillipson could do little more than reiterate her strange little story. This time, however, with a startling addition – an addition which caught Morse, as he sat there nodding sceptically, like an uppercut to the jaw. She hadn’t wanted to mention it because . . . because, well, it seemed so much like trying to get herself out of a mess by pushing someone else into it. But she could only tell the truth, and if that’s what Morse was after she thought she’d better tell it. As she had said, she ran along to the main street after leaving Baines’s house and crossed over towards the Royal Oxford Hotel; and just before she reached the hotel she saw someone she knew – knew very well – come out of the lounge door and walk across the road to Kempis Street. She hesitated and her tearful eyes looked pleadingly and pathetically at Morse.
‘Do you know who it was, Inspector? It was David Acum.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
For oily or spotty skin, first cleanse face and throat, then pat with a hot towel. Smooth on an even layer of luxurious ‘Ladypak’, avoiding the area immediately around the eyes.
Directions for applying a beauty mask
AT 6.20 THE following morning Morse was on the road: it would take about five hours. He would have enjoyed the drive more with someone to talk to, especially Lewis, and he switched on the Lancia’s radio for the 7.00 a.m. news. The world seemed strangely blighted: abroad there were rumours of war and famine, and at home more bankruptcies and unemployment – and a missing lord who had been dredged up from a lake in east Essex. But the morning was fresh and bright, the sky serene and cloudless, and Morse drove fast. He had left Evesham behind him and was well on the way to Kidderminster before he met any appreciable volume of traffic. The 8.00 a.m. news came and went, with no perceptible amelioration of the cosmic plight, and Morse switched over to Radio Three and listened lovingly to the Brandenburg Concerto No 5 in D. The journey was going well, and he was through Bridgnorth and driving rather too quickly round the Shrewsbury ring-road by 9.00 a.m. when he decided that a Schoenberg string quartet might be a little above his head, and switched off. He found himself vaguely pondering the lake in east Essex, and remembering the reservoir behind the Taylors’ home, before switching that off, too, and concentrating with appropriate care and attention upon the perils of the busy A5. At Nesscliffe, some twelve miles north of Shrewsbury, he turned off left along the B4396 towards Bala. Wales now, and the pale green hills rose ever more steeply. He was making excellent time and he praised the gods that his journey was not being made on a dry Welsh Sunday. He was feeling thirsty already. But he was through Bala and swinging in the long left-handed loop around Llyn Tegid (reservoir again!) long before the pubs were open; and through the crowded streets of Porthmadog, festooned still with the multicoloured bunting of high summer, and past the Lloyd George Museum in Llanystumdwy, and still the hands of the fascia clock were some few minutes short of eleven. He might just as well drive on. At Four Crosses he turned right on to the Pwllheli-Caernarfon Road, and drove on into the Lleyn Peninsula, past the triple peaks of the Rivals and on to the coastal road, with the waters of Caernarfon Bay laughing and glittering in the sunshine to his left. He would stop at the next likely-looking hostelry. He had passed one in the last village, but the present tract of road afforded little for the thirsty traveller; and he was only two or three miles south of Caernarfon itself when he spotted the sign: BONT-NEWYDD. Surely the village where the Acums lived? He pulled in to the side of the road, and consulted the file in his brief-case. Yes, it was. 16 St Beuno’s Road. He inquired of an ageing passerby and learned that he was only a few ’undred yaards from St Beuno’s Road, and that The Prince of Wales was just around the corner. It was five minutes past eleven.
As he sampled the local brew, he debated whether he should call at the Acums’ home. Did the modern languages master come home for lunch? Morse’s original plan had been to go direct to the City of Caernarfon School, preferably about lunchtime. But perhaps it would do no harm to have a little chat with Mrs Acum first? Temporarily he shelved the decision, bought another pint, and considered the forthcoming interview. Acum had lied, of course, about not leaving the conference; for Mrs Phillipson could not have had the faintest notion that Acum would be in Oxford on that Monday night. How could she? Unless . . . but he dropped the fanciful line of thought. The beer was good, and at noon he was happily discussing with his host the sorry Sunday situation in the thirsty counties and the defacement of the Welsh road signs by the Nationalists. And ten minutes later, legs astraddle, he stood and contemplated the defacement of the landlord’s lavatory walls by a person or persons unknown. Several of the graffiti were unintelligible to the non-Welsh-speaker; but one that was scrawled in his native tongue caught Morse’s eye, and he smiled in approbation as his bladder achingly emptied itself:
‘The penis mightier than the sword.’
It was now 12.15 p.m., and if Acum were coming home to lunch, there was an obvious danger of his passing Morse in the opposite direction. Well, there was one pretty certain way of finding out. He left the Lancia at The Prince of Wales and walked.
St Beuno’s Road led off right from the main road. The houses were small here, built of square, grey, granite blocks, and tiled with the purplish-blue Ffestiniog slate. The grass in the tiny front gardens was of a green two or three shades paler than the English variety, and the soil looked tired and undernourished. The front door was painted a Cambridge blue, with the black number 16 dextrously worked in the florid style of a Victorian theatre-bill. Morse knocked firmly, and after a brief interval the door opened; but opened only slightly, and then to reveal a strangely incongruous sight. A woman stood before him, her face little more than a white mask, with slits left open for the eyes and mouth, a blood-red towel swathed around the top of her head where (as, alas, with most blondes) the tell-tale roots of the hair betrayed its darker origins. It was curious to witness the lengths to which the ladies were prepared to go in order to improve upon the natural gifts their maker had endowed them with; and in the depths of Morse’s mind there stirred the dim remembrance of the fair-haired woman with the spotty face in the staff photograph of the Roger Bacon Comprehensive School. He knew that this must be Mrs Acum
. Yet it was not the beauty pack, smeared though it doubtless was with a practised skill, that chiefly held the inspector’s rapt attention. She was holding a meagre white towel to the top of her shoulders, and as she stood half hidden by the door, it was immediately apparent that behind the towel the woman was completely naked. Morse felt as lecherous as a billy-goat. A Welsh billy-goat, perhaps. It must have been the beer.
‘I’ve called to see your husband. Er, it is Mrs Acum, isn’t it?’
The head nodded, and a hair-line fracture of the carefully assembled mask appeared at the corners of the white mouth. Was she laughing at him?
‘Will he be back home for lunch?’
The head shook, and the top of the towel drooped tantalizingly to reveal the beautifully-moulded outline of her breasts.
‘He’s at school, I suppose?’
The head nodded, and the eyes stared blandly through the slits.
‘Well, I’m sorry to have bothered you, Mrs Acum, especially at, er, such, er . . . We’ve spoken to each other before, you know – over the phone, if you remember. I’m Morse. Chief Inspector Morse from Oxford.’
The red towel bobbed on her head, the mask almost breaking through into a smile. They shook hands through the door, and Morse was conscious of the heady perfume on her skin. He held her hand for longer than he need have done, and the white towel dropped from her right shoulder; and for a brief and beautiful moment he stared with shameless fascination at her nakedness. The nipple was fully erect and he felt an almost irresistible urge to hold it there and then between his fingers. Was she inviting him in? He looked again at the passive mask. The towel was now in place again, and she stood back a little from the door; it was fifty-fifty. But he had hesitated too long, and the chance, if chance it was, was gone already. He lacked, as always, the bogus courage of his own depravity, and he turned away from her and walked back slowly towards The Prince of Wales. At the end of the road he stopped, and looked back; but the light-blue door was closed upon him and he cursed the conscience that invariably thus doth make such spineless cowards of us all. It was perhaps something to do with status. People just didn’t expect such base behaviour from a chief inspector, as if such eminent persons were somehow different from the common run of lewd humanity. How wrong they were! How wrong! Why, even the mighty had their little weaknesses. Good gracious, yes. Just think of old Lloyd George. The things they said about Lloyd George! And he was a prime minister . . .