“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“At first he just gave off this weird vibe. When I decided to say something, you dumped his ass the weekend we went to San Antonio. After your dad died, you up and moved up to Colorado with him. We tried to talk to you about it, but you blew us off. It was like we weren’t even there.”
“I was not in a good place after Dad died. I had some major depression. And you’re right, when I think back, I don’t remember y’all trying to talk me out of it at all. But y'all would’ve been right. It was stupid of me to move there with him. I didn’t know him well enough. Our relationship was rocky before we moved, then it got worse. The best thing was for me to come back to Texas. Alone.”
“Amen, sister. Better to be single and happy than attached and miserable,” Kris responds.
“This from the girl who’s happily attached,” Camryn mutters from behind her glass.
“It’s not always happy. We fight just like anyone else. Relationships take work. But sometimes it’s not enough, and you have to go your separate ways. It’s better for both involved.”
“Are you and Adam having problems?” I ask, trying to redirect the questions away from me.
“Just the usual stuff. I’m a homebody. He wants to go out all the time. I don’t mind going out on the weekend, but he wants to go somewhere literally all the time. I need down time to relax. Then, like a man, he pouts when he doesn’t get his way.”
“Oh, the man pout.”
“Exactly. At first, I tried to be accommodating, but now I’m just ready for him to go out by himself. I may be awake when he comes home, but I’m usually not.”
Watching the expression on Camryn’s face and the way she downs her margarita, something else is going on.
“What’s going on, Cam?” I ask.
“He didn’t come home the other night. No phone call, no text, nothing. He tried sneaking in at five in the morning.”
“Seriously?!” I shriek at the same time, “What the fuck?!” explodes from Kris.
“God, men are such dumbasses,” I mutter.
“Of course, I busted his ass. I didn’t sleep well since I was worried about him. He said he drank too much and fell asleep at his brother’s house. And when I tried to call him his phone was ‘dead.’”
“Do you believe him?”
“Truthfully, I don’t know. I want to. Really, I do, but my gut is telling me he’s lying,” she says, a frown tugging at her lips.
“Did you ask his brother?” Kris throws out.
“Which one? He has four of them. And I guarantee you if I asked each one, they’d all cover for him. Plus, it’s not like there’s any proof he cheated. His clothes don’t smell like perfume, no lipstick marks. He doesn’t have any hickeys. No nail marks on his back.”
“You’ve thought about this, huh?”
“What’s the old saying? If a woman thinks her man is cheating, he more than likely is. It’s woman’s intuition, right?”
“Awww, honey. Adam doesn’t seem the type. He’s a pretty stand-up guy,” Kris states.
“I know. Maybe I’m just paranoid.”
“Or maybe you’re looking for an excuse to get out.”
Turning sharply, I look at Kristen as she says this. My head whips back around to see Camryn duck her head.
“Is that it? Are you looking for a way out?”
“No. At least, I don’t think so. I don’t want to end things with him,” she says, but the uncertainty of what she feels is clear on her face.
“Do you not want to end it because you love him or because it’s comfortable?”
“I love him,” she mutters, hesitation evident in her voice.
“But?”
“It is comfortable being in a relationship with him. We both know what to expect and how the other is going to act. But I do love him. I don’t want to end things with him.”
“I think she doth protest too much.”
“Lord, Kris, don’t try to quote Shakespeare, please.”
“I’m not protesting,” Camryn argues.
“Whatever you say, Cam. We just want you to be happy.”
“And we want you to be happy too, Mallory. I’m so glad you’re back here with us where you belong. The three amigos together again.” Camryn leans over and gives me a one-armed hug.
Three pitchers of margaritas later, we’re draped across the furniture, laughing hysterically at the absolute stupidest crap. And that’s how the guys find us when they walk through the door. We are so blasted, we don’t even realize they’re here until they’re standing in front of us, an intimidating line of handsome, muscular alphaness, with their legs spread wide and arms crossed over their chests. All of us girls seem to realize at the same time we are no longer alone. Kristen is the first to react, and she attempts to rise up from the recliner to reach Brett.
“Baby, you’re home!” she wails as she tries to figure out how to get out of the chair. Camryn and I can’t help but laugh at the sight. Shaking his head with a grin on his face, Brett takes pity on her flailing and picks her up, hugging her to him.
“Holy shit, Mallory! When the hell did you get here?” Isaac reaches down and snatches me off the couch, hugging me tightly to his chest, about a foot off the ground.
“Can’t breathe,” I wheeze out. He loosens his arms slightly, allowing me to slide down to my feet. Luckily for me, he doesn’t let go, or I wouldn’t have stopped until my ass hit the floor.
“Damn good to see you, Mal.”
“Good to see you too, Isaac. How was New York?”
“Fucking cold.”
“I’m sure you found plenty of ways to keep warm.”
“Of course I did,” he says, flashing me a cheeky grin. Such a damn manwhore.
He slowly releases me, realizing just how weak-kneed I am.
“You okay?”
“I think so.”
“How many margaritas have ya’ll had?”
“Uhhh..”
“Three. I think,” Camryn hollers from her prone position on the couch.
“I think this is more than three glasses, ladies,” Derek says dryly from my side.
“That’s because it was three pitchers,” I retort, blinking my eyes trying to clear my vision.
The blurriness lessens as Derek steps to me for a hug. It takes my eyes a second to focus on his face. “Hey, Derek. How ya been?”
“Good, Mal. How about you?”
“Much better here lately.”
“You down for the holidays?”
“I’m back for good.”
“I bet these ladies are happy to hear that. They’ve been worried about you these past few weeks when they couldn’t get in touch. They were about to send out a damn search party. Todd here with you?”
“No, it’s just me. Todd’s no longer in the picture.” By the look on his face, I can tell he’s not sure what to say to that statement. Backing out of his arms, I turn to find Jason standing slightly off to the side.
“Hey, Jase. Have a good time in the Big Apple?” The intense look on his face has me stopping before I take my first step in his direction. Our eyes lock as I try to read him, but startle when a squeal sounds out from behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, Isaac has plopped down onto the couch, wedging himself between the cushions and Camryn. He wraps his arm around Camryn’s chest to keep her from falling to the floor.
“Would you get off me, you big oaf!” Camryn shouts, trying her hardest to wiggle out from under his muscular arm.
“Nah, I’m pretty comfortable where I am.” Isaac just squeezes her tighter to him and lays his head down. After struggling for a couple minutes and getting absolutely nowhere, Camryn finally gives up and lays her head down too.
Turning around, I find myself chest to abdomen with Jason. Before I can step back, his arms wrap around me and pull me firmly against him. Closing my eyes, I savor the feel of him next to me, his warmth radiating into me. I want to stay here forever, but I know it’s not going to happen. N
ot right now anyway.
Reluctantly, I back out of his arms to see Derek looking at us with an arched brow. With a quick smile, I move out of the living room to the hall bathroom. After using the facilities, I splash my face with cool water to wake myself up. Looking in the mirror, I mutter to myself, “You can do this. Just act natural.” Leaving the room, I realize the most natural thing for me is to go to Jason and having to avoid that hurts my heart.
Entering the room, Camryn has fallen asleep with Isaac still wrapped around her. He’s twirling one of her auburn curls around his finger, a thoughtful look on his face. Brett has sat down in the recliner with Kristen firmly planted in his lap. Watching the love on their faces as they speak softly to each other makes me realize that is what I want. Jason and Derek are nowhere to be seen, but noises are coming from the kitchen, so I assume that’s where they are. Something drops onto the floor, and one curses while the other laughs. It makes me smile. Curling myself up in the soft microfiber recliner, I grab the remote.The Fast and the Furious is the first thing I find, so I just leave it on that station. This is life. My friends. My family.
Mallory
Managing to make it through the holidays without any major breakdowns was, in itself, a miracle. It’s always been a hard time for me after my dad died. He loved to live it up during the holidays. I also completed the required therapy for my ankle with Daniel. Throughout our time together, I found it odd how he always worked with me one on one instead of having a physical therapy assistant take over like the other patients. Then, on my last visit with him, it became clear.
We had just completed my last session, Daniel having put me through the ringer.
“All right, Mallory, that’s it. You’ve officially completed all your therapy goals and passed with flying colors.”
“Oh yeah!” I say, breaking out into a little happy dance. He chuckles, and I look up, finding him staring at me in a way I couldn’t describe. He ducked his head before continuing.
“When do you follow up with Dr. Tomlin?”
“On Tuesday. I’m scheduled to start work on Wednesday,” I reply before taking a long sip of water.
“Twelve-hour shifts?” At my nod, he continues. “Make sure you wear your brace for a while longer. You’re not used to being on your feet that much right now, I’m sure. Take the ibuprofen as you need it and make sure to ice it after you get off work. Try to prop it up during the day when you can.”
At my little snort-laugh, he asks, “What?”
“I work in the ER. There is no sitting down.”
“Well, I’m sure that’s true. Just try your best. Take it easy on your days off. Don’t go trying to run any marathons yet.” He smiles that sexy ass grin at me. “And keep up with your exercises. Just because we’re done here doesn’t mean they still aren’t good for building muscle strength.”
“Is it okay to start exercising again? My waist line is not liking me anymore.”
He gives me a quick once over. “Nothing too strenuous on the ankle. Walking, biking, or swimming are okay. Try to limit your jumping and running for at least a month.”
“Strength training is okay?”
“I don’t see any problem with that.”
“Thanks, Daniel. I appreciate you pushing me so hard.”
“Um, now that you’re no longer a patient of mine, would you…” he clears his throat nervously, “would you like to go out to dinner sometime?”
Shocked, I stand there staring at him blankly for a second before answering, the murmur of other’s voices filling the void. “Oh, wow. I-”
“It’s okay for you to say no, Mallory,” he cut in, despondence clear in his tone.
“Daniel, you’re a very nice guy.” Please tell me I didn’t just start this off with that.
“Please don’t say ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’” he groans.
“I’m not. Well…yes, I am, but in this case, it’s true,” Gah, how much do I really want to tell this man? “I just came out of a very bad relationship a couple months ago. Really bad. I uprooted my whole life to get away from that relationship. I’m still trying to find me…” I trail off, taking a deep breath. “I’m not ready to put myself out there yet. So, it’s really not you.”
“Are you okay?” He reaches out to touch my shoulder, but seems to catch himself before making contact.
“I’m getting there. I need to get my life back in order before I can even think about dating. Does that make sense?”
“Does that mean if I ask you out later, I might get a yes?” Hope colors his voice as his eyes light up.
“It’s not out of the realm of possibilities,” I reply with a smile.
“Then, until next time. I wish you the best, Mallory.” Reaching for my hand, he raises it to his lips and places a soft kiss on my knuckles before turning to walk away.
Now heading to my final doctor appointment to get my clearance for work, I think about what I told Daniel and realize it’s the truth. Finding myself is paramount before thinking about anything else. No matter how much I want Jason, friends are all we can be, and that realization is hard to swallow.
Tomorrow morning is my first shift in the ER, and excitement wars with nervousness in my veins. One thing I have not missed the last couple months is getting up at the butt-crack of dawn. Luckily, the hospital is only a few miles away from my apartment, allowing me to avoid Dallas traffic, which is a major plus in my book.
Being a nurse is what I live for—the satisfaction from making a difference in someone’s life. I’ve spent most of my nursing career working in the emergency room, gaining a rush from the fast-paced, quick-thinking reactions required to save someone’s life. But the downside is not everyone’s life can be saved.
Sitting here, staring out the window as the rain snakes down the pane, I reflect on how my life has changed. Nearly every free moment has been spent with Kristen and Camryn, just catching up, shopping, or eating. I’ve kept in touch with Jason’s sister, and she’s been helping me by making me talk about my feelings. She still encourages me to talk to a therapist here since I won’t open up to her completely—her words, not mine. And maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m afraid to open up to her all the way, afraid she’ll tell Jason. It’s an irrational fear, but it’s still there. What if he start to judge me for the things that happened? I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face. I wish I could just take that part of my life, wave a magic wand over it, and poof! It would disappear. But this is real life, not the movies.
The guys left yesterday for a few months, touring around the United States, and the silence from the apartment next door is already deafening. My ears strain every morning for the sounds that usually float from the paper thin walls. I’m going to miss Jason like crazy, but it’ll be good to have to function on my own. I’ve used him as a crutch for too long and need to be able to rely on myself, to be the strong woman Jason swears I am.
3 months later
My cellphone vibrates across the surface of the table. Glancing over, I smile at Kristen’s face on the screen and drag my thumb along the bottom to accept the call.
“Hey, girl. Didn’t expect to hear from you this early,” I say around a yawn. The last two days of work have been hell and I was planning on sleeping in late this morning. The early light of sunrise is barely peeking through the curtains.
“Mal, I need a favor.”
“Anything.” The seriousness of her tone has me sitting up, covers pooling at my waist.
“Can I stay with you for a couple days?”
The tears in her voice make me pause. “You don’t even have to ask. Of course you can.”
At that, she hangs up before I can even ask what’s wrong. What the hell is going on? She flew to Minneapolis yesterday to surprise Brett. Ever since they became engaged, I’ve never seen her so happy. So for her to be calling me after not even having spent a full day with him has me worried. Grabbing some clean sheets out of the hall closet, I make up the spare bed. No one has been in her
e since Donna left. I strip off the old sheet and put on the clean ones. By the time I’m replacing the blanket, there’s a knock on my door. My brow furrows as I check the clock while walking toward the door. It can’t be Kristen that fast, can it?
Sure enough, it’s her, but it’s not the happy Kristen I took to the airport yesterday. This Kristen looks like a wreck—dishevled hair, puffy, red eyes, mascara tracks down her cheeks.
“Get your ass in here.”
She shuffles through the door, her arms wrapped around her middle. Flopping down on my couch, she plants face-first into the cushions, her shoulders shaking with her sobs. Kneeling beside her on the floor, I sweep my hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her. But comfort her for what? What the hell is going on? After what seems like an eternity of my best friend crying her eyes out, she turns her head, and the despair in her gaze breaks my heart.
“Need something to drink?” At her nod, I make my way to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. I place it on the table in front of her before heading back for a second glass, filling it with ice, grabbing two cans of coke out of the fridge, and snatching the bottle of Jack on top of the fridge. I have a feeling it’s going to be needed. Taking my bounty back to the table, I see Kristen has downed the bottle of water. When she sees what I’m carrying, her eyes widen.
“I think we may need this before it’s over,” I say, placing them on the table, glasses clinking.
“I think I drank a whole bottle of Jack last night,” she responds as she stares at the bottle.
“What’s going on? I thought you were in Minneapolis. I didn’t imagine dropping you off at the airport, did I?”
“Oh, I went to Minneapolis. The flight was delayed and I didn’t make it to the concert. I ended up waiting for Brett in the hotel.” She places her hand on her chest and takes a deep breath.
“Okay, and…?”
“Brett came to the room, but he didn’t come back alone.”
“Say what?”
“He wasn’t alone.”
“He brought a girl back to the room with him?”
Break Me Down: Silver Tongued Devils Series Book 2 Page 14