by Nicola Haken
Of course, Rachel was expecting to be home in London again before her due date in three weeks time.
“Don’t worry, saffy. As soon as you guys are settled in the hospital I’ll go out and raid Mothercare.”
“You won’t know what to buy.”
“Then I’ll buy two of everything. Trust me, Rach. The only thing you need to think about is those two precious girls in your arms.”
“I love you, Jared. I don’t say it often enough, but I do. I love you, and I want to thank you for loving me too.”
“Wait,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. “Say that again once I’ve pressed record.”
“Fuck you,” Rachel spat, laughing at him. “If my arms weren’t busy holding these little guys, you’d have a black eye by now.”
“Love you too, Rach,” he said with a smile, leaning over to kiss her cheek. Then his expression and his tone turned serious, and he added, “so, so much.”
Rachel had suffered a second degree tear (did you just squeeze your thighs together too?) that would need stitching by a doctor, so once I’d passed Baby Two back and had a hold of Baby One, Sarah did some ‘emergency patchwork’, before helping her clean up and get ready for the hospital.
We waved them off in the ambulance and said we’d see them again as soon as visiting times allowed, then I turned to find Dexter with his arms open wide. I fell eagerly into them and smiled against his chest.
“That was… amazing,” he whispered into my hair.
“I know. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. Now we’ll always have a good reason to remember this day. Chris would want that… for us to smile whenever we think of today.” It seemed so fitting… saying goodbye to one life and then welcoming two more. I hope wherever Chris is, he got to see what happened this afternoon, because it was the most magical experience anyone could ever experience.
“I love you, doll. I can’t wait until I get to hold you holding our baby.”
Whoa…..
Epilogue
Two years later…
Emily
“Oh my God, Emily I’m so bloody nervous! How the hell did you do this?”
Today is Rachel and Jared’s wedding day. She stayed at our house last night with Ana and Ava. Ana and Ava, Rachel’s twins, are named after two of Rachel’s favourite book characters, although I don’t think Jared knows that! Caroline, Rachel’s mum, was due here soon to help get her ready and then Dexter would leave to… well I don’t really know what guys do on the morning of their wedding, but whatever it is, Dexter was going to help with that.
Dexter and I got married just over a year ago and it was without a doubt the happiest and proudest day of my life. I have never felt so beautiful as I walked down the aisle towards him with all eyes on me. Linking my dad’s arm, I never took my eyes off Dexter’s as he waited for me in front of the priest with the most fulfilled and honoured smile on his face. And I have to say, Dexter in a suit? Phwoar!
“This is the first day of our forever,” he whispered into my ear when the ceremony was over. And boy has our forever been amazing so far.
“No no no no no!” we heard Dexter call from the living room. I rushed towards the noise and Rachel followed behind me. “Let Dexter do it, sweetheart.” I burst out laughing when I got there and saw what was happening. Ana and Ava are potty training and Ava, being the most independent of the two, likes to carry her own potty to the toilet without telling you. This usually results in a trail of wee and an empty potty by the time she gets to the actual toilet. “It’s all over my shoes!” he grumbled, taking the potty from Ava.
“It’s wee, American. Not acid,” Rachel said.
“But piss stinks. I’ll stink of piss all day now.”
“Piss,” Ana repeated with a smile so wide she showed every one of her tiny white teeth.
“Shit, I meant pee. Dexter meant pee.”
“Shit,” Ava said.
“Piss,” Ana joined in.
“No! Those are bad words. Dexter was bad,” he told them in a flustered voice.
“Well if you’re done corrupting my daughters, maybe you should go and make sure Jared has got his arse out of bed?”
“Yeah I’m going,” he replied, handing me the potty full of wee to take care of. “I’ve just got to stop by the garage first. Dave needs me to look over something.”
Chris’ Clutches (cheesy? Maybe, but his name deserves to be forever etched above that door) has gone from strength to strength in the last couple of years. When Chris passed away we both threw all our efforts into making the place somewhere he would be proud of. We hired a junior mechanic first, then we both took a variety of business management courses. After just six months we needed to hire another, experienced, mechanic, and then six months after that we bought the building next door and expanded. We now employ a team of five mechanics and two apprentices and we have firm contracts for a number of fleet vehicles and taxi firms, as well as a reputable name for ourselves with the general public.
“Well don’t be late,” I said to him. “And don’t get dirty!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take your car and keep my suit in there then I’ll wash up at Jared’s place.”
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you… Rachel and Jared moved up to Manchester eight months ago. I don’t think Jared’s father was all that pleased with their decision at first after the expense he’d laid down on their first house down south, but he came around eventually and helped them get set up, up here. Rachel wanted to be closer to her family, which included me and Dex. Jared doesn’t have that close family bond so he wasn’t too fussed about where they lived. He makes regular trips back down to London to see them anyway, especially his uncle Mick and sister Jess.
Obviously the move meant Jared had to give up his job at the pub, so Dex and I hired him as our Sales Manager. It’s not as fancy as it sounds. Dexter has been building up old cars and selling them on, in the hope one day we can branch out into a dealership. Jared’s job is to woo potential customers, seek out possible buyers and close any sales. That side of things is going from strength to strength thanks to Jared’s gift of the gab, so I imagine he’ll soon be a lot busier than he is now.
It’s amazing having them so close by. We see each other every single day and are chief babysitters for Ana and Ava. I adore those two little girls as if they were my own. I know Dexter does too. It warms my heart watching him play with them. He is a natural and will make a great father.
“Which princess is gonna kiss me goodbye first, huh?” Dexter said, bending down to Ana and Ava.
“Me, me!” they both said, holding their little arms up.
“How about you do it at the same time?” He scooped them up, one in each arm, and puckered his lips, making a kissing sound as they both kissed a cheek each. “You guys be good for your mommy and Emily, ‘kay?” Ana and Ava ignored him, giving him a mischievous smile instead. When he lowered them down, Ava walked over to me and started tugging on my dress.
“Duice, Emmie.”
Emmie. I love how they call me that. It happened by accident because they couldn’t pronounce my name properly and it makes me smile every single time as they unintentionally remind me of Chris. Sometimes I still, even after two years, have moments where I think of him and my chest feels like it’s been jammed in a vice. I will never stop missing him and I wouldn’t want to. True to my word, I visit his and our mum’s grave every Sunday to make sure it’s cared for and surrounded by fresh flowers. Sometimes I go with Dex, and other times I go alone so I can just sit and talk to him. I like to think he can hear me, and I’m sure wherever he is he’s looking out for us. He has to be. Life has been so perfect since he left us and it feels like he’s somehow steering us in the right direction.
“Juice what, Ava?” Rachel interrupted.
“Peeeese.”
“Good girl. I’ll get you both a juice now,” I said, smiling down at them. I still had the potty full of wee in my hand so first I took that
to our downstairs toilet, cleaned it out and then went to the kitchen to make juice in their sippy-cups.
“Seriously, Em… I feel sick,” Rachel said as we made our way back into the dining room where all my makeup and hair styling equipment was laid on the table.
“You’ll be fine! You’re going to marry the man of your dreams.”
“Wait, Matt Bomer is coming to the wedding?”
“Mummy, mummy. Mine!” Ana cried, interrupting us. Ava had stolen her baby and ran off into the corner with it.
“Ava, give your sister her baby back please.”
“No. Mine.”
“Do I need to call Daddy?”
“Yay! Daddy Daddy!”
“Isn’t threatening kids with their dad supposed to work?” Rachel asked me.
“Maybe if they had a dad who doesn’t give them all their own way. But Jared would probably just go straight out and buy them like fifty new babies each so they didn’t have to fight.”
By this time Ana was screaming, but she soon changed her tune when the front door bell sounded.
“That’ll be my mum,” Rachel said.
“Come on girls, let’s go and let Nanna in.”
“Nanna Nanna!” Ava shouted, dropping the baby on the floor. Suddenly neither of them were interested in it anymore. Caroline came in, fully dressed for the wedding, and after saying hello to the girls and plying them with sweets, she headed into the dining room to Rachel.
“Are you ready for your big day, sweetheart?”
“No,” Rachel spat. “I’m nervous as hell.”
“All brides are nervous on their wedding day. You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, that’s what Emily said.”
“Let’s start your hair,” I suggested. “You’ll feel better when you see how amazing you’re going to look.”
“Fine. But I need coffee while you’re doing it. A strong one with no milk and six teaspoons of sugar.”
Smiling at her daughter, Caroline disappeared to the kitchen to brew up.
I started combing through Rachel’s purple hair which was still damp from her shower this morning. When she first found out she was pregnant, Rachel tried the ‘mumsy’ look for a while, reverting back to her natural brown hair, wearing long sleeves to cover her tattoos and taking out her piercings. That only lasted a couple of months after the twins were born before she realised she missed being herself.
So now, her piercings are back in place with an added nose stud and a bar through her tongue (which apparently Jared loves), her hair has been all the colours of the rainbow over the past eighteen months, and today it is purple to match her sleeveless, plum satin wedding dress.
“I might be nervous, but I’m so fucking happy right now, ho.”
“We all are. Life’s pretty good isn’t it?”
“Better than I ever could’ve imagined it would be when we first climbed into your car to head down to London.”
“Yeah. And to think I was the first one who went on a date with Jared,” I teased.
“Ha! Yes, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for giving me your sloppy seconds.”
“You’re very welcome,” I joked. “How different things could’ve turned out.”
And boy am I glad they didn’t.
Life doesn’t get any better than this. I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.
Dexter
“Jesus, mate I’m so fucking nervous,” Jared said the second he opened the door to me.
“Language, Jared!” I heard his mom call from the living room. He rolled his eyes at her and stepped aside to let me through. Everyone greeted me when I walked into the living room. His house was packed with relatives and Snickers’ friend Holly from college.
“I’ve come straight from the garage. Mind if I take a shower and change upstairs?”
“Sure. Knock yourself out.”
I headed upstairs and showered quickly before changing into my gray suit. I figured as Best Man I had to make the effort so I bought a new suit especially for the occasion. After combing through my hair and running some product through it that I found amongst a million bottles of Jared’s shit (I swear he has more pamper shit than a girl), I headed back downstairs, noting on my watch that it was almost time to leave.
Jared and I were riding to the church with Aunt Sarah and Derek and they were due any minute to pick us up. Turns out, Emily’s dad is actually a pretty decent guy. Hell, I know what guilt can do to a man, and once it seemed he let go of that, he’s done nothing but treat Em and my Aunt Sarah like they’re the most important people in the world – which they are of course. When Chris died he was amazing with Emily. He supported her – talked when she needed him to, stayed quiet when she didn’t. But most of all he was just there. He was around. He was a father.
And hey, with all this wedding bell talk I should probably tell you they are engaged to be married too. My Aunt Sarah has always been a happy soul. She’s always seen the best in people and dealt with any shit life threw at her with a smile on her face. But since meeting Derek, she’s different. She laughs so much more. She dances around the house like she doesn’t have a care in the world and she sings while she’s cooking. She’s content. Lighter. Younger almost.
So yes, despite my reservations when I first found out they were together, I can now safely say that Derek is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.
“You all set, dude?” I asked Jared, cornering him alone in the kitchen.
“I think so. But fuck me, I feel like I’m about to have my balls cut off and served on a platter.”
“That’s because marriage is the equivalent of that. From today, you’ll never be able to make your own decisions again.”
“Mate, I haven’t made my own decisions since the first time I stuck it in her.”
“Classy, man.”
“I try.”
**********
In line with tradition, and Snickers being Snickers, the bride was late to the church. The panic set in on Jared’s face about two seconds after she was due to get here and I didn’t even try to reassure him. Watching him squirm was too much fun. Everyone was already seated as we waited for her, and Jared spent the entire time tapping his foot against the floor and fiddling with his tie.
The only indication we got that she’d arrived was that the church organ started playing, and everyone stood up, turning their heads towards the arched doors at the back of the room.
Wow. She looked stunning. Not one for tradition, her body was wrapped in a deep purple dress with a white satin shawl draped over her shoulders. Every one of her tattoos were visible and that made her look even more beautiful… because those pieces of multicolored art adorning her skin are part of who she is. She said a while ago how she wished she didn’t have to be pushed down the aisle but it was never mentioned again. So, as she came towards us cradled in her dad’s arms with her hands locked behind his neck, I smiled warmly. He carried his daughter forwards with the proudest grin on his face, and Emily trailed behind, pushing Ana and Ava along in Snickers’ chair. They are adorable little things and I love them to pieces. I never could’ve imagined I’d be any good with kids but man I would give my life to protect those beautiful little girls. They were dressed in pink satin dresses that exploded at the waist and their bouncy blond curls (the same shade as Jared’s) spilled out from under their little tiaras. I would’ve bet our mortgage that those tiaras would either be lost or broken before we’d even heard the exchange of vows.
When they reached the front of the church, I stood up and picked the girls up in my arms so Bryan could lower Snickers down into her chair. Emily joined me and we took a twin each to sit on our laps throughout the service. I heard Emily sniffle beside me several times and I wondered if, like me, she was thinking back to our own wedding day.
That was the proudest day of my life. Nothing else – not getting and staying clean, not forgiving myself for my mistakes, not making a clean break in the UK, not even getting my first Harley (I kno
w, right? I fucking love her - she’s called Bethy)….nothing compares to how I felt that day. When Emily walked towards me, linking her father’s arm, dressed in the purest white dress that trailed a good couple of feet behind her, my heart expanded so quickly it got lodged in my throat. I’ll never forget the way her red curls spilled in bouncy curls over her shoulders, or how her baby-blue eyes glistened with tears as she said ‘I will’.
There are no words to describe how happy this woman makes me. She gives me everything I never thought I deserved and so much more besides. She is my rock, my lover, my biggest supporter and my best friend. I love her so much my heart swells in my chest every time I think of her, and a day has yet to pass where I haven’t told her as much.
When the ceremony was over the entire church erupted in applause – most likely down to the little show the newly married couple put on. Of course for these two, a peck on lips wouldn’t suffice when Jared was told he could kiss his bride. No, he practically ate the chick alive for us all to see.
Probably because we don’t drink, Emily and I ended up temporary guardians of Ana and Ava at the reception party. I took all three of my girls to dance several times, spinning them round in my arms one at a time.
“More, Dek, more.”
“Gen, Dek, gen.”
Picking Ava and Ana up in my arms I danced around with them until I felt dizzy. I caught Emily watching me and she looked at me with the most beautiful, warm smile. Most of the time Snickers and Jared were in their own little world in the middle of the dancefloor. Every so often Jared would stop twirling her around in her chair so they could accept the congratulations and kisses coming from their friends and family.
It didn’t take long for the pair of them to get wasted. It’s a rare treat for them these days, even though Jared has finally found a medication that not only controls his epilepsy but also allows him to drink alcohol. That’s what being a parent does to you I guess. It zaps your social life faster than a contagious disease.