Rafe winced. “I know, and I understand. I meant it, though.”
I leaned back in my chair to study him. He seemed sincere. “Okay.”
“Thank you.”
We finished our meal and he helped me tidy up the kitchen. A first for him. He never cleaned up after himself, unless he was desperate, if he could help it. “If this is what comes of you being sober, I like it.”
He swatted me lightly on the shoulder. “Stop it. With Serge out of the house and you not coming over anymore, the house became a pigsty. It gave me something to do that didn’t involve drinking. You’d be surprised how clean the place is.”
“I’d pay good money to see that.”
“You can see it for free. Come over tomorrow night. I’ll provide food.” At my raised eyebrow, he added, “Not cooked by me.”
“Ah, because we’d need to call in our volunteer firefighters.”
He shrugged. “Probably.”
I walked him to the door. “Sure, I’ll come over.” Why did this feel like a date? I must be dreaming. “What time?”
“Six too early?”
“Nope. I’ll unblock your number on my phone now, so you can text me if something comes up.”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “I’d appreciate that.”
“Okay…well, thanks for the talk…and the apology. I appreciate it.”
“I meant it, Woody. You’re better than all the people in this town combined. You’re stronger than all of us, and I wish I could be more like you.”
“You’re stronger than you think, too, and you’re improving daily. If you need to talk some more, you know where I am.”
“Thanks. And by the way, congrats on the director position.”
“Jesus, Serge is a motor mouth.”
He laughed. “You know it.”
“Thank you. It’ll be a rewarding position.”
He left soon after that, and I thought about spending time at Rafe’s house the next day. I had no idea what to expect, but if Serge was right, and that kiss had meant anything, it would be interesting. It remained to be seen if I would be interested, too.
* * * *
“Wait, did you just say Rafe asked you over for dinner?” Serge asked Sunday morning as we ate breakfast. He’d stayed away until late in the evening on Saturday, so we hadn’t had a chance to talk.
“Yup. Weird, right? And don’t think I didn’t know what you were up to yesterday. You thought you were slick.”
“So it was obvious. Sue me. It needed to be done. Rafe’s been looking mopey and miserable for weeks. Anyway, back to tonight. You realize this is a date, right?”
“No way, man. We’re just buds hanging out like we used to before the ‘incident.’ But he did say something about fighting feelings for someone in the past…maybe he wants to talk about that. He’s newly out, at least to himself and us, after all. I dunno.”
“God, you’re an idiot.”
I chewed on a blueberry pancake and pointed my fork at him. “Learned from the best.”
“It’s a date, dufus. He has feelings for you. You’re in denial.”
I shook my head. “It’s just too hard to believe. After all this time? Come on.”
“It’s Rafe we’re talking about, remember? The guy who rarely ever admits he’s wrong about anything, or doesn’t get a clue until it smacks him in the face. You’ll see. If I’m wrong, I’ll cook for a month.”
I laughed. “You’re on!”
* * * *
The first thing I noticed when Rafe let me into the house was the smell of flowers.
“Did you cut some of Mila’s roses?” I asked as I followed him down the hall. If Mila could see this place now, she’d probably freak out, it was so clean. And her oldest son had cleaned it. Man!
“Yup. They’re on the table in the kitchen.”
“The scent is wonderful, but it’s not as good as what’s coming out of the oven.” I stopped by the refrigerator and crossed my arms on my chest. “Who did you bribe to cook for you?”
“The new cook at the diner. I owe him a favor, as a result, but it’s worth it.”
I shook my head and sat at the table. “Why are you going to all this trouble, Rafe? Is this a date?”
He didn’t answer me right away, busying himself with sharing out our food, then pouring sparkling cider into two wine glasses. Yup, seemed like a date to me.
Once he was seated, he said, “I wanted to do something nice for you, after all the times you’ve cooked and cleaned. Is that bad?” He looked so earnest, what could I say?
“No, it’s not bad. In fact, it’s lovely, and thank you. But, I know there’s another reason. Tell me,” I said as I propped my elbows on the edge of the table. “Who was it that you had feelings for, way back when?”
Rafe sighed. “Woody, can’t we just enjoy our meal and…”
“Nope, sorry. Out with it.”
He closed his eyes, then took a deep breath and opened them to stare straight into mine. The strength of the emotions that I witnessed there, the stark need he’d hidden from me for decades, blew me away. “It was you, Woody. It’s always been you, and as the years went by, I tried harder to bury it, to hide behind teasing and screwing chicks and alcohol until it all blew up in my face. And then in the end, I realized I wasn’t even worthy of you, if I couldn’t be true to myself first…Well, it’s all a mess now.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I see.”
“Can we eat, please?” he asked, and I nodded.
We said no more as we dived into our meal. It was very good. Murphy at the diner was a find in a million, a drifter turned local. I patted my stomach and groaned in my chair when it was all gone. “Damn, I’m beyond full.”
“Yeah?” Rafe asked and I burped. He laughed. “Got it.” He stood and took our plates to the sink. “Help me clean up and we can take a stroll on the beach. It’ll help the food settle and we can piss in the bushes, if necessary.”
I snickered. “Trust you to ruin a nice moment.” I helped him tidy the place, then went with him out the door and down the hill.
There was a worn path from years of foot traffic, and it led us right down to the sand on the far edge of the coast. As it was close to sunset, the beach was mostly empty, so we strolled along unimpeded. It was pretty right then, and warm. I rolled up my shirt sleeves and sauntered close to Rafe’s side, content in his company.
We didn’t say anything, and I was left to contemplate what he’d admitted to me earlier. That was indeed a revelation. Who would have thought that Rafe Zumpano, chick-magnet extraordinaire and town lush, had been crushing on me for years? I didn’t know if I’d ever recover from that admission.
And now, here we were, walking side by side on a frickin’ date, something I’d written off as never happening when I was in my teens. It was a lot to take in.
We neared an outcrop of rocks and Rafe sat on a huge boulder. I took the one next to him. “So is this weird?” he asked, playing with his sandals as he dug his bare feet into the still-warm sand.
“Yes, but it’s okay. I’ll get used to it. It’s just a bit of a shock, is all.”
“I kept watching you for years, hoping you wouldn’t hook up with anyone, though I didn’t have the right to think that, since I wasn’t even brave enough to approach you.”
“How is that different from now?” I asked. “You’ve told me, and you’ve told Serge. I know you’ll eventually tell Mila and Peter. They won’t care. The people who work for you? This town? Can you handle that? Because I won’t date you, if that’s where this is heading, unless I know you mean it, that you won’t run back into the closet the minute things get difficult. I will not be on the down-low for anyone, and you shouldn’t either. I don’t mean to be an ass about it, but life’s too short. I need proof.”
Rafe’s expression was unreadable as he put on his sandals and stood. “Give me your hand.”
I was confused. “What?”
He tugged on my fingers and hauled me up. “Com
e with me.”
I stumbled along behind him as I said, “Where the hell are we going?” I tried to put on my sandals and keep up with him.
He didn’t answer me, and we strolled along, hand in hand. My palms were sweaty because yes, Rafe Zumpano, former homophobe, was leading us straight into town. People would see.
It was what I wanted, right?
* * * *
The town was busy, though it was Sunday night. Families were still out and about, some getting ice cream, others having a meal or heading to the theater or hanging out in groups. Though there was a mixture of tourists, there were enough locals who would recognize us in a heartbeat.
I tugged on Rafe’s hand. He wouldn’t budge. “You don’t have to do it like this, you know. There are other ways.”
“I think this will do it, don’t you?” he said, keeping my hand tightly in his grasp as we strode through town.
Of course, we encountered people we knew, every last one of whom stared openly at the sight of their sheriff holding hands with another man.
He greeted the townsfolk, as did I. Everyone had dazed looks on their faces as we passed by, but a few wore smiles and seemed to be thinking, “Ah, now it makes sense.”
We ran across some of Rafe’s old girlfriends who either gave me hateful looks or just shook their heads as if to say, “Now I get it.”
By the time we arrived at the police station, it was like the Red Sea had parted around us. “I want to grab something from my office,” he declared as he tugged me through the front door.
“No, you don’t have to go in there,” I replied.
But that didn’t stop him. I nodded at the officer on duty at the desk who stared, nonplussed, as we sauntered by his station. There were only a few cops on duty tonight, and every last one of them stopped mid-conversation, mid-typing, mid-coffee sip, and gaped as we made our way to Rafe’s office.
Once he closed the door behind him, Rafe slumped against it, my hand still in his. “You think that’ll do it?” he asked, his breath slightly uneven and his brow a little sweaty.
I studied him for a minute. Now that we were alone and away from prying eyes, Rafe trembled.
“You okay, Sheriff?”
“That was like walking the gauntlet. Jesus.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door.
It floored me that he would put himself through that, but then, I’d asked him for proof. I guess he was serious. “Thank you, Rafe. I know that was hard as hell.”
He opened his eyes and his face softened as he smiled. “I like it when you call me Sheriff, though I always pretended otherwise.” He pulled me closer to him, our bodies as one against the door. “I don’t know how to do this. Yes, I’ve been with men, but it was hit and run. I’ve been with women, but it didn’t last, for obvious reasons. This is all new to me, so I hope you’ll be patient. I could backslide, and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Baby steps, Rafe. I’ve been waiting for you since I was ten years old and said my first word since the death of my parents.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
I proved it in the best way possible. I kissed the lips that had been in my dreams since childhood.
It was soft, at first. Rafe was hesitant, probably shocked that I would be so bold, especially in his office with cops on the other side of the door. I placed my free hand on the back of his head and tilted it just…so. There, that was perfect.
I rubbed my tongue against his lips, seeking entrance until he let me in. Rafe tasted like the sea and his own unique flavor. So different from the last time. He was a good kisser, but I made him groan every time I sucked on his tongue. I squashed him into the door, our hands still locked together like our lips, and his free hand now creeping up around my waist.
Lifting my knee, I nudged between his legs so I could push up against his balls. Rafe jumped a little at the pressure, then sank into me, wanting more. I let go of his hand and grabbed his face, holding him still so I could savor his mouth over and over again.
We went on like this for minutes on end, breathing when necessary and leaning into each other, going back and forth, my lips sore and not giving a damn. After a while, I pulled away and touched my forehead to his.
“We should slow down,” I murmured. “This is too new to fuck up.”
He took a deep breath. “It won’t be. I’m willing to do anything so you know I’m serious about this. I want to do it right. If you want to stop, that’s fine. If you don’t, that’s fine, too.”
To hell with it. “Let’s go home, then. I’m this close to taking you on the goddamn floor and I don’t think you’ll be able to live that down if we do it here.”
Rafe pushed back my head and sucked my Adam’s apple before responding. “Yeah, let’s go.”
I moved away so he could open the door. Thankfully, the shirts we both wore were long enough to cover our throbbing dicks. Faces flushed, we exited Rafe’s office and left the precinct, uncaring of the stares that followed us.
* * * *
It took a little while to make it back to the house, by which time our ardor had cooled to a simmer. Rafe let us inside and led the way to the bedroom. When we got there, he closed the door and pushed me up against it. “I’ve had this done to me many times, but I want to try it with you.”
“What?” I asked as I ran a hand over his short hair. It felt good against my fingers.
“Suck you off. I want to look up and see you lose it. You’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen, guy or girl, and I want to please you, more than anything. Let me? Please?”
All I could do was nod.
He slid slowly to the floor. To have Rafe kneel at my feet was heady. The big, bad sheriff, ready and willing to do my bidding. The very thought of what else I could do to him in that position made my dick even harder than it already was.
Rafe unbuttoned my fly, pulled down the zipper, then tugged my shorts and boxers to my knees. “Wow, you’re thick, aren’t you?”
I held my cock and tapped his mouth with the leaky tip. “Think you can take it?”
In answer, he opened wide.
“Good boy,” I praised and slowly fed him my dick.
He reached up and caressed my balls as he sucked hard and long with every bob of his head.
“Damn, you’re good at this,” I whispered, moaning at the exquisite suction he gave me.
I took my time, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but he was eager and kept pushing for more, so eventually I gave him everything. When I reached the back of his throat, I held my cock there until he choked a little, then pulled it out.
“Like that, do you?” I said as I tapped his mouth again. He nodded eagerly and opened wide again.
“If you’re good, I might fuck you later. Would you like that, Sheriff?”
Rafe’s eyes rolled up to look at me and their expression said it all. That was all it took for me to decide playtime was over.
I took charge, held his head steady and fucked his mouth, the spongy feel of his throat closing around me making me hotter than anything I’d ever felt. Something about Rafe made me want to dominate, make him take it all.
“Suck me, boy. Fucking squeeze me until I can’t help but come.”
He did, and I howled. Seconds after I released, Rafe groaned and I finally noticed his hand below whipping over his cock, cum flowing from the tip to his hands and then the floor.
It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
* * * *
After we cleaned up in the bathroom, I lay on my side next to Rafe as we faced each other in bed. “Is this strange for you?” I asked as I played with the hairs on his chest. There was a little gray there, which I thought was hot.
“No. It feels right, somehow. Like this was meant to be. It sounds cheesy, doesn’t it?” He looked away, embarrassed.
“Hey, look at me,” I said and waited until he faced me again. “If it’s what you feel, then it’s real and it’s true. Don’t diminish it. What we’re working
on is unique to us.”
He heaved a sigh. “Okay.” Rafe played with a strand of my hair. “I did not envision this, what’s happening between us, in any way, shape or form. I’m still in shock, frankly. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”
“You and me, both.” But if he could change and take a chance on something new, maybe I could, too. I pushed Rafe onto his back. “I want to explore.”
He smiled. “Be my guest.”
I kissed him again, nestling our bodies together and rotating my hips against his. He reciprocated, our hard cocks rubbing against each other, leaky, messy and perfect. When I felt him tighten, I moved away. “Not yet.”
I nibbled at his neck, sniffed his hairy armpits—I had a thing for hirsute men—and sucked his nipples. Rafe liked that a lot and moaned quite loudly as I worked over his hard little nubbins. Yup, another reason why we couldn’t do anything in his office. He was definitely a screamer.
I raked my hand through the hair on his chest and tugged a little. He arched his back and I felt his cock leak some more against my thigh. “Like a little pain, do you?” I teased, and gave his nipples a vicious twist.
“Shit!” he cried, and pumped more fluid against my leg.
“I guess you do. We’ll explore that some other time. Probably when you’ve pissed me off, as I’m sure you will in the future.”
His chuckle was breathy. “Yeah, probably.”
I lifted one of his legs and nibbled the underside, working my way toward the prize.
“Please, Woody. I need…more.” His cock was bobbing at me, copious amounts of semen glistening on the side to his balls.
“I see that. I’ll get there, when I’m ready.”
I kept on tasting him, moving over both legs, going down to his toes, tonguing his knees. Every time he touched his cock to pump it, I stopped. He quickly figured out the game we were playing and crushed the sheets in his fists instead.
“Bend your knees so I can prepare your hole, Sheriff.”
Rafe immediately complied and I was treated to the beautiful sight of his perfect rosebud. “Man, that’s gorgeous. Bet you taste good, too.”
To test that theory, I sniffed all around him and licked him there, the musky, salty flavor exactly what I needed right then. “Hand me the lube.” Once it was in my hand, I squirted some onto my fingers and began my assault.
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