by Helen Harper
He waved me off. ‘Get out of here. I need to concentrate.’ He spat onto the floor, a long stream of green phlegm of a similar consistency to his potion. ‘And don’t forget to come back first thing tomorrow!’
I grimaced and made my exit. Bleugh. No chance.
Chapter Thirteen
I’d assumed that I’d be free to leave on my own as I had the previous day; in fact, I was counting on it. Unfortunately, I was only halfway to the door when Lunaria bounced up. She was, I noted, no longer wearing the red-leather number. Chicken.
‘I’m to come with you!’ she trilled, a delighted smile stretching from ear to ear. ‘Maybe I can learn something. You are the master at selling, after all.’
‘I’m a masterful sort of person,’ I murmured. I had to stop her tagging along, she would only get in my way. ‘But I don’t think…’
I was only halfway through my sentence when Rubus appeared and stopped to watch us, a tiny smile playing around his lips. Gasbudlikins.
‘…I don’t think I’ll have much to teach you,’ I said, altering my original statement in the nick of time. ‘After all, I don’t remember ever doing this before.’
‘It’s like riding a bike,’ she told me. ‘You’ll pick it up again in no time.’
And if I didn’t, no doubt she would report it back to her lord and master. I forced a smile. ‘Then it’ll be wonderful to have you along for back-up,’ I said.
Lunaria beamed and took my arm. I thrust the bag at her; if she was going to be this much of a pain in my arse then at the very least she could caddy for me. ‘Here,’ I said. ‘I trust you to keep this and not lose it.’
She was far too delighted with the sudden burden. ‘Great!’
As we walked out together, I could feel Rubus’s eyes burning into my back. The scowl on my face remained. This was most definitely not how I wanted my day to begin. I created a mental image of myself pushing Lunaria under a bus but it didn’t really help.
Outside, the sun was shining, entirely at odds with my sudden change in mood. I twisted right, marching so quickly that Lunaria was forced to jog to keep up.
‘Rubus was looking very dark and handsome just now, don’t you think?’ she twittered.
‘Just about the only time I find him handsome is when it’s dark,’ I retorted.
Lunaria squinted at me. ‘But when it’s dark you can’t see him properly.’
I was surrounded by fools. Sighing, I crossed the road. ‘We’re going to the library first,’ I said. ‘There’s a Fey woman there called Paeonia who will be an easy mark.’
Lunaria clapped her hands. ‘Excellent!’
I was starting to feel like I had my own personal cheerleader. Everything was ‘wonderful’ and ‘great’ and ‘fantastic’. Maybe that was why she wasn’t wearing the red-leather outfit today – it didn’t match her pompoms. Deciding that the least I could was to take advantage of her beaming friendliness and do some digging, I slowed my steps to allow her to draw level and have a proper chat.
‘So, Looney Tunes,’ I said, ‘how are things going with you? I’ve not seen you since our shopping expedition yesterday and that feels like a lifetime ago. Have you been busy? Weren’t you doing some kind of hush-hush investigation for Rubus?’
It was like I’d taken a cloth to her face and wiped off her expression. Her smile vanished and even the sparkle in her eyes appeared to dim – although her cheeks reddened considerably. ‘Oh yeah,’ she said. She fidgeted with the bag. ‘I’ve been taken off that. It’s why I can come with you today instead.’
‘Mm-hmm. Has everyone been taken off it?’ After all, I’d told Rubus exactly where to go. There was no point searching every golf course for miles around when he already had the answer.
She chewed her bottom lip. ‘I really don’t know.’
For someone with the effervescence of a shaken Pepsi can, Lunaria could be remarkably tight-lipped. I wasn’t going to get anywhere by pursuing this line of questioning; I had to be smarter. That was okay. I was the Madhatter. I was intelligence personified. Most of the time.
‘There’s still a lot about this world that I don’t know,’ I confided. ‘I mean, I understand we’re all trapped here but how exactly did that happen? What made the borders close like that?’
Obviously relieved to be on safer ground, Lunaria’s full-wattage smile returned. At least, that was, until she remembered I’d asked her about the worst thing to happen to us faeries since Tinkerbell. She quickly replaced her grin with a serious expression. ‘No one really knows what happened. It took a while for us to realise that the borders were closed in the first place. It was never easy to get here so once you did you had to make the most of every minute. To get approval to travel, you had to get a visa from the authorities in Mag Mell and there was always loads of red tape. They were concerned that too many faeries in this demesne would upset the balance so they tried to limit the numbers.’
I absorbed this, comparing it to what Rubus had told me the night before. ‘So the faeries in charge were concerned about this demesne?’
‘Sure! Although,’ her eyes clouded slightly, ‘there was a rumour going around that they were going to relax the bureaucracy and let more people travel because there hadn’t been any problems with us coming across. Not everyone was happy about that. In fact, you complained a lot. You had a strong personality when you were a teenager.’
Strong personality? There was a euphemism for bitch if ever I heard one. ‘You mean I’m not like that now?’
Lunaria just laughed. ‘In any case, there was no single event that any of us knew of that caused the borders to close. We thought at first that it was a problem with Mag Mell itself, but all signs point to something on this side that created the issue.’
There wasn’t the faintest trace of guile on her face. Lunaria didn’t suspect for a moment that all this was down to me. I wondered what she’d say if she knew. I doubted she’d be so happy to trip the street beside me. ‘Why did I come over?’
‘You gave a reason at the time, something about observing human behaviour in cities to see if we could apply any new techniques to our own behaviour back home which would have a positive effect. Everyone knew you were really just tagging along behind Morgan.’
‘Uh-huh. And Rubus? Why did he come over?’
She gave me a lopsided smile. ‘Anything Morgan did, Rubus wanted to do too.’ It was a surprisingly honest statement from someone who thought the sun shone out of Rubus’s arse. It also sounded like Rubus and I had even more in common. We’d both crossed the border to this demesne for the same reason – but only one of us had trapped everyone here.
I fell into my own thoughts for the rest of the journey, turning everything over and over again in my head. I reckoned I must have been about nineteen when I came over. Young enough to make a stupid mistake but still old enough to know better. I wondered how long I’d feel guilty about something I couldn’t even remember. It wasn’t an emotion that suited me at all well.
We swung into the library and I saw the top of Paeonia’s head in front of the queue of customers. I could have waited patiently in line for my turn but my mission was more important than theirs.
I strolled up to the front, ignoring the angry tuts as I barged my way in. Lunaria, looking vaguely ashamed, loped up behind me.
Paeonia glanced in our direction with her faery green eyes and stiffened. We’d only met once before and Morgan had marched me away from her before I could do much of anything. She had recognised me and petitioned me for some dust, halting only when Morgan had told her off. She was listed as a potential pixie-dust user on Carduus’s list but I didn’t think she was actually in thrall to Rubus. I didn’t know many people I could turn to right now so I had to use every possible contact. It was the only way.
‘Excuse me!’ Someone tapped on my shoulder.
I half turned. It was a little old lady holding a pile of books in one hand and a walking stick in the other. ‘What?’ I snapped.
‘There
’s a queue!’
‘I know,’ I informed her. ‘I’m not an idiot. I just don’t have the manners to wait.’
Her blue eyes widened in shock. ‘This is a library!’
I stared at her. Was that supposed to make a difference? Were the surrounding books supposed to imbue me with a sense of inferiority? I opened my mouth to answer her but Paeonia was already stepping in. ‘Ernest, take over from here.’ She glared at me. ‘I’ll deal with this customer.’
She beckoned Lunaria and me well away from the snooping ears of the other book borrowers who were sending me narrow-eyed evil looks. I curtsied dramatically.
Paeonia hissed, ‘What are you doing? I don’t want to lose my job because you’re being a bitch! Why are you here?’
‘Last time we met,’ I said, ‘you were looking for some pixie dust.’
Her face whitened. ‘I changed my mind. I don’t want any. You can’t come here selling that stuff.’
‘Why?’ I enquired. ‘Because Morgan told me I couldn’t?’ I shrugged. ‘I suppose in the land of the witless, it’s the half-wit who’s king.’
Even Lunaria drew in a breath at that. Perhaps insulting my would-be customer and all her buddies wasn’t the way to win her over. I pasted on a disarming smile but that only seemed to petrify Paeonia even more. ‘Look,’ I said. ‘Several days ago, you asked me for pixie dust and I promised I’d get you some. I’m here to fulfil that promise. It’s high-quality stuff that I’ve got.’
‘I don’t want it.’ The expression in Paeonia’s eyes belied her words.
I held out my hand to Lunaria, who solemnly handed me the bag. Reaching inside, I drew out the bottle containing the pixie dust and held it up. ‘Look,’ I cooed. ‘So pretty.’ I unscrewed the top and dipped my finger in before holding it up to Paeonia’s nose. She was mesmerised by it. I smiled at her. This was where things were going to get tricky. ‘It’s incredibly high quality,’ I said. ‘We’ve never had a batch quite like it. Lunaria will demonstrate.’
At my side, Lunaria stiffened. ‘Will I?’
I nudged her. ‘Just a wee bit to show Paeonia what she’s missing.’
I could see that Lunaria was desperate to refuse. For all that dust might soothe the physical ache of homesickness, she was too intelligent to want to become an addict to the stuff. She was already addicted to Rubus – why would she need a drug at the same time? All the same, she’d know that if she refused Paeonia would have the excuse she needed to do the same. The thought of failure – which would not endear Rubus to her in any way, shape or form – was enough to tip Lunaria over the edge and into reluctant agreement.
Reaching into the jar, she took the tiniest amount on the tip of her index finger then lifted it up to her right nostril. ‘Bottoms up,’ she said shakily. Then she snorted.
Both Paeonia and I leaned forward. I had to admit that I was eager to see what the effects were as much as the librarian was. It took scant seconds. Lunaria’s eyes glazed over and she breathed out. ‘Oh. Oh my.’ Her whole body juddered as if in ecstasy. ‘Man, that’s good.’
I visibly stiffened. ‘Gasbudlikins,’ I muttered. ‘That old woman who was complaining at me is heading over here. She might have seen you snorting. Looney, you need to head to the toilet and freshen up before she gets here and decides to call the police because someone is taking drugs in the middle of her precious library.’
Lunaria started to turn to check. I grabbed her arm. ‘Don’t look! It’ll only make her more suspicious.’ I gave her a nudge. ‘Go on! Go now!’
Fortunately, she did as I asked, stumbling away from us. I had a few minutes at best. I’d have to work quickly.
‘There’s no one there,’ Paeonia said, puzzled. ‘And no one can see us here.’
‘I know that, you jumped-up book shelver!’ I snapped. ‘I needed Lunaria out of the way. She’s in Rubus’s pocket and she’ll report anything I do back to him. Look, you have to take some dust. Throw it away or flush it down the toilet, I don’t really care. But I need it to look like you’re on board and buying it from me.’
I knew deep down that Paeonia wouldn’t be able to resist the pixie dust’s lure once she had it in her possession. That was her look-out, however, not mine. I had more important things to worry about.
‘As soon as we’ve gone,’ I said, ‘you need to get in touch with Artemesia. I have to find her, and find her fast. We’re heading to Begonius at the Travotel next. Tell him to tell me where Artemesia is without Lunaria realising. It’s vitally important that you do this before we reach him. It’ll take us about thirty minutes to get to his hotel so that’s all the time you’ll have. You also need to get in touch with a Fey guy called Vandrake. He’s—’
‘I know who he is.’
‘Good. Tell him to get out of the city. Or to hide. Or to go to Morgan’s place for the time being. I don’t care. He just needs to get out of the way.’
She stared at me. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘I don’t need you to understand, I just need you to follow instructions.’
‘Why are you trusting me with this? You’ve only met me once and you don’t even seem to like me.’
‘I don’t like anyone. And I don’t have anyone else to trust,’ I said simply. ‘Billions of lives might rest on what you choose to do and how you choose to do it, Paeonia. You need to step up to the plate.’
For the first time, she seemed to straighten up and puff out her chest. I knew in that instant that she’d do what I asked. She was even proud that I’d asked her. She would set aside her own desires, if only momentarily, and do what was needed.
Paeonia didn’t know enough to trust me, and she had no real reason to do as I asked, but part of her sensed the truth of my words. Regardless of who we were and what we were like, maybe we all had an inner hero that was waiting to be nudged to come out from the shadows of our deepest souls. At least people like Paeonia did; I couldn’t say the same for myself.
A movement flickered in the corner of my eye. Gasbudlikins. ‘Lunaria is coming back. Can you do this, Paeonia? You can check with Morgan if you want. He’ll tell you to trust me.’ I crossed my fingers. He might. He knew what I was doing and he’d understand what I’d asked her to do was going to help people, not hurt them.
‘I’ll do it,’ she said. She nodded her head and I knew that she would keep her promise. I breathed out. Maybe this day would be successful after all.
‘Are we in the clear?’ Lunaria asked, re-joining us. Her pupils were dilated and she was blinking rapidly. She looked more manic than happy. You gotta do what you gotta do, I told myself.
‘We got rid of the woman,’ Paeonia said. ‘She’s a regular here so it wasn’t too difficult. She trusts me.’ As she said this last part, her eyes were on mine and I was fully aware of who she was really referring to. ‘How do you feel?’ she asked Lunaria.
‘Bloody amazing.’
Paeonia sighed. ‘Fine, then. I’ll take some dust. I don’t have much money, though.’
I glanced at Lunaria. ‘Actually, if my fabulous colleague here agrees, we can give you a free sample.’
Lunaria smiled. After all, the objective here was to supposedly create loyal addicts, not to bankrupt faeries across the city in a bid to make ourselves rich. ‘I think I can agree to that,’ she said dreamily.
It belatedly occurred to me that I didn’t have a way of passing over the dust to Paeonia. I should have brought some empty ziplocked bags. Some drug dealer I was. ‘Hold out your hands,’ I instructed.
With a wary expression, Paeonia did as I asked. I took the dust bottle and tipped it up, pouring a large amount onto her palms.
Paeonia stared down at it, her eyes almost as wide as Lunaria’s.
‘Time to go!’ I said. I waved and smiled then nudged Lunaria in front of me and we headed for the library’s exit. We were less than a metre from the door when I looked round, just in time to see a man with a book-laden trolley appear from round the corner and bump into Paeonia’s frozen body. Sh
e jerked – and the pixie dust went flying everywhere, scattering into the air and onto the floor as well as over a lot of the books shelved nearby.
For a brief moment, her expression was stricken. Then her mouth tightened and she nodded. Her eyes met mine and I could see the resolve reflected in their depths. All’s well that ends well, I decided. For now, anyway.
Chapter Fourteen
We’d barely gone a hundred yards from the library when I started to think that encouraging Lunaria to snort pixie dust had been a hellish mistake. She stopped halfway across the road and bent down to start a conversation with a puddle, or maybe it was her reflection that she was talking to. Either way, I had to yank her viciously to get her out of the way before she was mown down by the oncoming traffic.
‘Hey! You hurt me!’ she complained. ‘Again!’ She squinted. ‘Does the truce not work for you? You’re not supposed to be able to hurt me.’
I sighed. ‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you,’ I muttered. ‘I was trying to save you. You were almost squished by that Range Rover.’
Instead of telling me she was grateful that she wasn’t road kill, she glanced over my shoulder. Her eyes caught something that flooded her expression with delight. She clapped her hands. ‘Whirly!’ she shrieked.
She skipped away from me towards the revolving door leading into one of Manchester’s grander department stores. Clearly, Lunaria had no desire to go into the shop; all she wanted to do was to spin round in the door. Again and again and again.
I gritted my teeth. I had no one to blame for this but myself. It was tempting to use her drug-addled state as an excuse to abandon her but I feared for Manchester and the fate of its revolving doors if I were to do so.
When Lunaria spun past me for the sixth time, I reached in and dragged her out just before the door whirled away again. All Lunaria did was pout. ‘You used to be fun, Mads,’ she said. ‘Since you lost your memory, you’ve gone all serious.’
That was not a word I would ever choose to describe myself and I wasn’t sure anyone else would either. All the same, standing over Lunaria as she tugged at me to be allowed to go back in and whirl round the revolving door again, I felt a bit like I was sucking all the joy out of her life.