A Baby to Love

by Susan Kearney

  Carol’s brows arched and her forehead creased. “I don’t think so.”

  “Did she ever mention a gun to you?” Chelsea drummed her fingers and began to swing her foot.

  “I believe he took her to a shooting range on one of their dates. Why?”

  “There have been several attempts on my life. And I own a gun that is missing.”

  “You hate guns.”

  “I know. I think the man who murdered Anne is after me. Tonight someone tried to kidnap Alex.”

  Carol paled and her finger twisted in a tendril of her elegant updo. “You’ve got to leave here. Now.”

  Jeff heard the panic in the woman’s voice and jumped to his feet. He strode quickly to the window and dimmed the light.

  “I don’t understand.” Chelsea whispered.

  “Anne was convinced Alex’s father followed her here. I thought she was hysterical, but the next week, she was dead. If he knows we are friends, he could find you, too.”

  “YOU WEREN’T KIDDING when you said this cabin was out in the boonies.” Chelsea grinned with the pleasure of almost feeling safe.

  Just knowing she had a friend in Carol Oxford made her feel better about her past. Remembering Carol’s cooking was a positive sign, and hopefully soon the rest of her memories would return. She tried to put aside the thought that a killer was stalking her in an attempt to kidnap Alex.

  Western Maryland stretched into the Allegheny Mountains, and they drove past rolling farmland and apple orchards until the landscape turned to mountainous country sprinkled with azaleas, laurel and rhododendrons, which grew along the edges of the woods and scented the air with rich blossoms.

  After driving across Maryland for most of the night, Jeff had swung off a side road onto a dirt path overgrown with grass and weeds, but their headlights showed a brush-free track that wound through woods of ash, birch, white oak and tupelo. Dawn started to break, but Jeff kept the headlights on since the thick foliage of towering oaks kept them in darkness. Chelsea rolled down her window and inhaled the sharp scent of evergreens and early-morning dew. Crickets and frogs chirped and croaked. A white-tailed deer fled from the path of headlights, deeper into the woods.

  For the first time since they’d found Alex in the bathtub, the tension eased from her shoulders. Surely no one would find them out here. She looked behind her for the glow of following headlights—just in case.

  Jeff reached over the sleeping baby and squeezed her hand. “I’d intended to head out to the cabin for my vacation, so I’ve had the place cleaned up.”

  She twisted in her seat to look at him in the dim light. He sat straight behind the wheel, and not an ounce of fatigue weighed down his voice. If she hadn’t known he’d been up all night, she would have never guessed he must be reeling with exhaustion as she was. “Someone is expecting us?”

  “Not exactly. I was supposed to be here yesterday.”

  “You delayed your vacation for me and never said a word?”

  He shrugged and evaded a giant oak that the dirt track wound around. “I have a month off. A day or so lost is no big deal. And now that you’re here to share the place, my vacation will be even better.”

  Alex picked that moment to awaken and started to cry.

  “Oh, yes, Doctor. You’ll get lots of peace and quiet on this vacation.”

  “I didn’t come out here for peace and quiet.”

  She unstrapped the baby from the car seat. Jeff wasn’t driving faster than five miles per hour, and ever since they’d passed through the private gate, there wasn’t even the likelihood of meeting another car. “What did you come for?”

  He wriggled his brows. “I thought I’d bring you out here all by yourself and play doctor.”

  Despite his teasing tone, heat flamed her cheeks. “You’ve already done that.”

  “This doctor likes to practice.” He shot her a wry glance. “I’ve heard experience makes one more accomplished.”

  “Looking for compliments, are you?” She chuckled. “I assure you, the doctor seemed very experienced.”

  “Then the public-relations president was pleased enough to repeat the—?”

  “If you’re thinking of running a series of experiments with me, forget it.”

  “I could never forget you. The first taste of pleasure only whetted my appetite.”

  She absolutely could not make love with him again. The first time had been too soul shattering. If she allowed herself to become accustomed to such pleasure, she might never find the strength to walk away once Alex was again safe. And yet, up here in this romantic setting, how would she resist him?

  She shouldn’t kid herself. The setting had nothing to do with her wanting him. With the clean scent of his shampoo mixing with the male essence of him, she knew she wanted Jeff himself. His arms around her. His lips on hers.

  She would never forget the moment he’d entered her body, his hands cupping her face, his eyes locking with hers. But more than the physical expression of love, she ached to repeat the intimate closeness of bonding. At that moment, she hadn’t felt alone, but cherished like no other woman in the world.

  The wooded area ended without warning. Ahead, like a topaz set in green velvet, lay the lake at dawn. From a cloudless sky, the sun sparkled over shimmering waters. A light breeze sent tiny ripples whipping across the surface, and several sailboards and one sailboat floated in the distance.

  Her gaze took in a picturesque two-story stone mansion with sharp-slanting roofs and a massive fieldstone chimney overlooking the lake below. “That’s a cabin?”

  “Great-grandfather built it. My grandfather added on. Dad modernized it. And I enjoy it.”

  “It’s yours?”

  “I share it with my brothers and sisters.”

  They drove closer, and she noted wide wooden decks on the lake side. Floor-to-ceiling windows ran all the way to the A-frame roofline and took advantage of the spectacular view.

  She shook her head, a grin on her lips. “And to think you had to ask me twice to come here.”

  “There’s more. Down by the lake, there’s a boat house.”

  “Perfect.”

  “We have a motor and sailboat, personal water vehicles and a sailboard.”

  “It’s too bad we’ll have to rough it,” she bantered.

  As he drove closer to the house, the breathtaking view held her mesmerized. “I don’t see any power lines.”

  “Don’t worry. We have a generator. Satellite television. Cellular phones. My sisters only liked camping at Holiday Inns, so over the years Dad added the modern comforts.”

  Jeff pulled up and parked beside the house. Chelsea got out of the car with Alex and stretched in the crisp dawn air. “Thank your sisters for me.” She held the baby so he could see the lake. “Look, Alex. Have you ever seen anything so pretty?”

  Jeff came up beside her and put his arm around her. His hand caressed the bare skin on her arm, sending a shiver of need straight to her weakened knees.

  His tone was soft but harsh with pain. “It wasn’t just a threat. You’d planned to leave me today, didn’t you? If Alex wasn’t in danger, you’d be back at your house, wouldn’t you?”

  A lump formed in her throat, and she turned away from him without answering, walked to the deck and sat on the porch swing. From a perfect perch, she rocked and watched the sun rise and spread peach-red fingers across the sky.

  Jeff followed, took a seat next to her, but didn’t touch her. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  Like a dam bursting within, she let the words rush out. “I don’t want a fling. I want forever. And despite the fact that I’m incomplete without my memories, I won’t settle for less than marriage and children. I can’t keep making love as if we have some sort of future. I can’t lie to myself and pretend this will never end.” She turned to him then, looked deep into his eyes and saw his pain. “Is that honest enough for you?”

  He flinched but held her gaze. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

>   This time she reached for his hand, and their fingers intertwined. It felt so right to her. Why couldn’t he admit it? “I’ll never regret one moment we’ve spent together. Without your help, Alex and I—”

  “I love you.” The words sounded as though ripped from the throat of a man dying of anguish. His face twisted in obvious pain. “But I have to let you go.”

  She leapt to her feet, suddenly furious. “Damn you, Jeffrey Kendall! How dare you tell me you love me but have to give me up to some highborn ideal. You can take your noble thoughts and shove them where the sun don’t shine.” Tears came to her eyes and her breath came in rasps, but she didn’t stop shouting, not even at the shocked look on his face at her vulgar language or the fussiness of Alex in her arms. “Lie in your empty bed, night after night, alone, and choke on your nobility. And when you die an old and lonely man, you can regret that you could have had your precious medicine and me beside you, too, if you weren’t so stubborn.”

  She clutched Alex closer and dashed toward the lake and the rocky beach by the shore. Jeff didn’t follow. For that, she was grateful. She needed the time to regain her control.

  The anger that had spewed from her lips had drained her. Exhaustion from last night’s scare had her on edge. And Carol’s information only added to the terror. Knowing Alex’s father could be so cruel frightened her to the marrow. She sank to a large rock with the baby on her lap and welcomed the fresh breeze cooling her flushed face.

  Alex reached for a pebble and tried to put it in his mouth. She gently pried it from his fingers and tossed it into the water. The baby seemed fascinated by the widening ripples, so she threw several more stones for him.

  But her thoughts were on Jeff. How could she face him again after the nasty things she’d said?

  And yet she didn’t regret her eruption. Every word she’d said was heartfelt. After losing her memories, after almost losing her life, she’d found the courage to speak her mind. And yet her outburst had probably pushed him further away. Who was she to make demands on him? If she didn’t love him so much, it would be easier to let go of the dream of waking up next to him every morning. But she wasn’t one of those women who could hide her pain and let her man go on his merry way without fighting for what she wanted.

  She sat by the lake for a long time. The gently lapping waters on the shore soothed her outward agitation. Nothing eased the ache in her heart.

  This time by the lake with Jeff was simply an interlude in his life. She didn’t doubt that he thought he loved her, but obviously it wasn’t strong enough for him to want to keep her. More likely he’d confused lust for love.

  And she had no business sitting here thinking about her future when someone was after Alex. She had to figure out who the kidnapper was before she lost the baby. But first Alex needed a diaper change, and she was ready to drop from exhaustion. When she returned to the house, Jeff was gone.

  AFTER LEAVING Chelsea a note, Jeff walked through the woods, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched and kicking clods of dirt. Every word she’d thrown at him stung like a dull hypodermic thrust to the bone. And he had no anesthesia against the pain, nothing to fight back with, since every word she’d spoken was truth.

  Too anxious to hold his pace to a mere walk, he broke into a jog. But he couldn’t run away from his churning thoughts. The fact remained that he wanted Chelsea Connors not for now, but always. Sometimes the desire to make love to her was so strong it was all he could do not to pick her up, carry her to bed and ravish her like some lusty pirate.

  He couldn’t marry her. He loved her too much to treat her the way his father had his mother. Yet giving her up would tear out a part of him he hadn’t known existed.

  He returned to the house an hour later, hot, sweaty and tired, with nothing resolved except the decision to make the most of their time together. Chelsea had taken Alex to one of the bedrooms, and Jeff headed for the shower.

  He came out of the bedroom to the scent of freshbrewed coffee and found Chelsea in the sunny kitchen, heating a bottle for Alex in the microwave. Plucking the baby out of the high chair, he whirled him around in a circle. “You like that, tiger?”

  Alex broke into a huge smile.

  “Oh, great.” Chelsea shook her head but turned up her lips in a wry grin. “Twirl him around so he’ll spit up all over me.”

  “I’ll feed him.” At the ding of the oven timer, he removed the bottle, pulled out a chair and rested Alex in the crook of his elbow. Right now fussing with the baby was easier than trying to make strained conversation with Chelsea.

  She took a chair around the corner of the oak table. Her fingers fidgeted, and she crossed her legs, her foot swinging. “I want to apologize.”

  “No need. You spoke how you felt.”

  The room, except for Alex’s sucking noises and the ticking of a clock, descended into another awkward silence. He risked a look at her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze.

  “I’d say a change of topic is in order. How about a nap?”

  “Maybe later. I’m too keyed up to sleep.”

  “Are you up for a picnic?”

  She brushed the hair off her face, seemingly as ready as he to put her angry words behind. “I’d like that. I saw fresh groceries in the kitchen.”

  “I called ahead and had the caretaker clean and stock the place. There should be the makings of sandwiches in the fridge, maybe a bottle of wine. Mom keeps a basket and utensils in the kitchen, and there’s a checkered blanket around here somewhere.”

  “I’ll sling Alex in his knapsack carrier. How long will we be gone?”

  “Ready for a hike?”

  “Better make it a short one if we have to carry Alex and the picnic stuff, too.”

  “I want to take you to Dandy’s Point. It’s not far.”

  They seemed to have established a truce of sorts, each politely dancing around the argument that had come before. Jeff insisted on carrying the baby and the picnic basket too. The baby seemed content in the carrier that strapped him to Jeff’s chest. His head was free to twist and turn, and his little fingers clutched Jeff’s shirt.

  By the time they passed through the dense woods and reached the small and intimate clearing on the hillside, he was holding Chelsea’s hand, helping her over the rough spots. Their disagreement, although not forgotten, was firmly behind them.

  “This is magnificent.”

  While she stood beside him enjoying the marvelous view of the leaves about to turn and the lake below, he took in her face, flushed pink from climbing the rocky peak. Although he didn’t like heights and stayed well back from the edge, she didn’t seem to notice that a step off the cliff could lead to a horrendous fall. She was breathing hard. Outlined against the sky, her chest rose and fell, drawing her sweater tight to the curve of her breasts, and he couldn’t help recalling how she’d responded to him when they’d made love.

  She’d given of herself without inhibitions. She’d given of herself generously and passionately. Cad that he was, he stirred at the sight of her windblown hair and proud neckline. If he had his druthers, he’d tear off her clothes and make love to her until her lips swelled from his kisses and she cried out his name.

  Shoving his thoughts aside, he spread out the blanket and set to opening the wine. After popping the cork, he called to her. As if jerked out of her reverie, she spun toward him.

  And a shot, fired from the wood, whizzed past Chelsea’s head.

  “Get down!” He lunged toward her, pulling her and Alex into the cover of the trees.

  Alex started to cry.

  “Hush, little guy. Shh.” Jeff gently rocked the baby.

  Although pale and with eyes wide, she ignored that she’d almost just died again and looked first to the baby’s safety. With a smudge of dirt on her cheek and a scrape on her hand, she checked Alex, concern and fright in her eyes. “Is he hurt?”

  “He’s fine.”

  And then the thought that her life was again in danger struck her. He could see the h
orror in the darkening of her pupils, the trembling of her lip.

  “The stalker found us.” As realization at another close call set in, her entire body shook. She whispered, “How could anyone find us out here?”

  “It could have been just a stray shot, some idiot out hunting.” Jeff pulled her deeper into the woods. “But let’s not take chances.”

  He’d been sure they hadn’t been followed to the house. He’d diligently watched the rearview mirror. Only Chelsea’s attorney, her secretary and Garrick knew where they were. Someone must have spilled the beans.

  She swallowed hard, then looked right, left, back over her shoulder. “Right now I wish I had that damned missing gun. We’re exposed out here. I feel like a target with a bull’s-eye on my back. And if someone followed us, they know where we’ll go back.”

  “Not necessarily. Are you up for a swim?”

  “Alex isn’t.”

  “I’ll keep his head above water. Come on. I have the advantage of knowing my home turf. As a kid, I’ve explored every acre of this mountain.”

  To her credit, she didn’t complain once but followed him, saving her breath for the difficult slides down the steep, rocky path. Alex, strapped firmly to his chest, barely slowed Jeff’s movements or upset his balance, and he had his hands free to help Chelsea. Being busy kept the fear of heights at bay.

  Above them something crashed through the woods.

  They froze, and he pressed her into the side of the mountain, sheltering Alex and Chelsea as best he could from the clumps of dirt and pebbles raining down. Chelsea clung to him, curving her body over Alex. A protruding lip of rock above kept the small projectiles from reaching them.

  A large animal, possibly human, crashed through the brush.

  She shuddered. “What was that?”

  “Could have been a deer.”

  “You don’t believe that?”

  He didn’t answer. “Come on. The water’s still cold this time of year, but it’s only a twenty-five-yard swim to safety.”

  She took one look at the inlet that separated them from the boat house, turned around and bumped into him. “There’s no way I’m letting you take Alex through—”