One Hoof In The Grave

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One Hoof In The Grave Page 4

by Carolyn McSparren


  Even though I had no mortgage to pay on the property, horses and land cost a lot to maintain, plus I was building a log house on the farm so I didn’t have to live in Peggy’s basement apartment in Mossy Creek.

  Training carriage horses and managing horse shows on the weekends kept me solvent. Giles Raleigh was damming up my income stream.

  “Has he sent any of those letters out yet?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure. He doesn’t use email, but he may have gotten one of his secretaries to email these people. Plus he talks to people when he shows, and he knows everybody.”

  “Please try to find out if you can without bringing down his wrath on your head,” Peggy said. “May I keep this?”

  Sarah-Beth nodded. “I’ll run off another copy before he comes back from the marathon. He won’t know I gave that one to you.”

  Peggy nodded and stood up. “Come on, Merry. We need to get out of here before the Cyclops catches us in his cave.” She patted Sarah-Beth’s hand. “None of my business why you can’t leave him, but if you change your mind and need a place to stay, I have an extra bedroom. Don’t put it off too long. Men like that escalate to physical violence fast.”

  I thought Sarah-Beth was going to burst into tears all over again, but she only hugged herself and nodded.

  As we walked back to our trailer to drop off our soggy clothes, Peggy said, “It’s chilly today, but have you ever seen Sarah-Beth wear short sleeves, even in the Georgia heat?”

  Actually, I hadn’t, but the only time I notice what people wear is when one of the carriage ladies comes up with a supremely outrageous driving hat.

  Ladies’ driving hats are a cottage industry. They can cost hundreds of dollars, and are often trimmed with to bird feathers, multiple ribbons, silk flowers and tulle. The brims are usually moderate, however, so they can’t be caught by a sudden gust of wind. They are also generally pinned on with their grandmother’s antique hat pins. Even the calmest horse will rear and bolt if one of those creations lifts off for a test flight in front of him.

  “What do you want to bet there are bruises on Sarah Beth’s arms?” Peggy continued.

  I stopped dead and wheeled to go back to their trailer. “If he beats her, she has to leave him. Now. And call the sheriff.”

  Peggy grabbed my arm. “You can’t force her.”

  “Why doesn’t she just kill him? Beaten wife defenses work pretty well these days.”

  “Not in Georgia they don’t. And not if you kill a man who pays off enough politicians and judges running for office to buy half the Georgia legislature.”

  I opened the tack room of our horse trailer so hard the metal door slammed back with a clang that spooked a pair of VSE’s tied to the neighboring trailer. VSE stands for very small equines—miniature horses and such. “Then I’ll kill him. After I remove his ability to procreate with a dull hoof knife.”

  “Let’s pull his fangs before we remove his genitalia,” Peggy said. She stuffed our wet clothes into the laundry bag and hung it up in the corner of the trailer tack room.

  “Nothing we can do about the rumors he’s spread about me, but maybe he hasn’t sent those letters out yet. Maybe we should let him go ahead, then nail him for libel.” I slammed the door shut. “Otherwise, he can always say he never intended to send them.”

  “I think libel is written and slander is spoken,” Peggy said absently. “Whatever he’s implying about your father’s death is definitely slander. God, what a day.” She leaned against the saddle rack. She looked tired, but I’m sure I did as well. I, however, wasn’t on the edge of tears as she seemed to be. I’d never thought anything or anybody could embarrass Peggy, but driving into the lake had truly upset her.

  She took a deep breath and shoved away from the saddle rack. “I want a hat. A honking great hat with ostrich plumes and cabbage roses and tulle all over it.”

  This sounded more like the old Peggy. “Of course you do,” I said. “You’ll get over it.”

  “I mean it, Merry. I drove my dressage test yesterday wearing a neat, unassuming black fedora from Stein Mart. After the disaster today, I deserve a real driving hat.”

  “I don’t wear one.”

  “I’m driving, you’re just the groom. You can wear your hard hat or your tweed cap. I’m the one people look at.”

  After the accident this morning, she had that right. She’d started off the weekend knowing almost no one. Now everybody knew her. Even the grooms nodded and grinned as we passed. Obviously, news of our accident had made the rounds.

  I caught the set of her chin. Uh-oh. Peggy in this mood would not deviate from her path if faced with a live brontosaurus. At the moment, that path led right past the stable to the area on the lawn where the tack vendors’ trailers were parked alongside the vendors who brought their own display tents. She jumped down from the trailer tack room and started up the hill at an extended walk.

  I tried to head her off. “Peggy, be sensible. Why not buy yourself a nice pair of silver driving horse earrings?” I waved at the jewelry lady. I don’t generally wear jewelry, but I had several of her pieces. They were charming, and all horse and carriage themed. “At least take a look.”

  “Maybe later. Right now, I deserve a hat.” She made a sharp right into the big tent under the banner that said, “Driving Divas.”

  “Hey, Merry,” said Marguerite Valmont. Marguerite is her nom de plume—literally since she dealt in feathered hats. She was born Gertrude Gary from Indianapolis.

  Before I could introduce them, Peggy said, “I want the biggest, craziest hat you’ve got.”

  “Oooooh-kay.” Marguerite rolled her eyes at me, but smiled at Peggy and waved her hand at the twenty or so hat on stands around her. The showroom looked like an explosion at the 1910 Fifth Avenue Easter parade. Women today don’t get much chance to wear big, extravagant hats, so the driving ladies compensate by wearing fedoras, picture hats, cartwheels and toques in silk, velvet, or Panama straw in every color of the rainbow.

  Not satisfied with the hats alone, the driving ladies prefer hats decorated with silk flowers and feathers and tulle—sometimes all at once. Many a pheasant or a peacock sacrificed plumage to them, as did a few herons and emus. Theoretically the hats were chosen to complement the driver’s formal ensemble. In reality the hat often came first. Then the outfit was chosen to fit in.

  Marguerite’s hats were elegant, elaborate, and expensive. I hoped Peggy knew what she was doing.

  “Sit down,” Marguerite said and sat Peggy in a tiny chair in front of a Baroque mirror. “Why don’t we try on a few? Let’s see. You have that wonderful silvery hair. What color is your driving jacket?”

  “Blue,” I said.

  “Greeny-blue,” Peggy added.

  Marguerite reached around Peggy and lifted a teal blue picture hat from the hat stand. It was silk, nearly three feet in diameter, and sported peacock feathers nested in tulle along one side.

  Peggy plopped it on her head.

  “Hey! Not like that. Calm down. Take some deep breaths. I promise you we’ll find you the proper hat.”

  “Oh, shoot, I’m sorry.” Peggy’s shoulders slumped. “This has not been the best day of my life.”

  “I heard. Look at it this way. Nobody’s hurt, horses, people and harness are all in good shape.”

  “I look like an incompetent lunatic.”

  “If you promise to settle down, I’ll fit you with the right hat, show you how to wear it, and regale you with some of my worst driving moments. Deal?”

  Peggy nodded. “Deal.”

  “Merry,” Marguerite said, “Go away. Groom a horse or something. Don’t come back for at least an hour.”

  “But . . .”

  “Trust me.”

  So I left them alone and went over to the refreshment tent, where I gorged myself on Diet Coke and sausage biscuits.

  I wasn’t kidding about the prices of driving hats. Men generally wore tweed caps or bowlers in informal driving, top hats in formal classes
and hard hats in marathons. Straightforward. Sort of. But as with most customs involved in carriage driving, top hats for gentlemen drivers differed from top hats worn by liveried grooms and coachmen.

  Theoretically, both men and women could always wear hard hats in any class without penalty. In practice, except in marathons where both hard hats and body protectors were required, lady drivers tended to channel Queen Mary—not the bloody one, but the one who married George the Fifth. The fashion went back to the glory days where wealth and social standing were measured by the carriage and team.

  A lady driver between classes might be wearing unzipped paddock boots with her driving apron stuffed into the waistband of her slacks, and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. But she’d also be wearing a hat for which a half dozen bantam roosters and at least one cock pheasant sacrificed tail feathers. I prayed Marguerite would somehow keep a lid on Peggy. A relatively simple lid.

  Stuffed with sausage, I wandered back up the hill toward the tents and spent a few minutes lusting after the latest driving jewelry I wouldn’t wear and couldn’t afford, and looking at paintings of horses that would look wonderful in my new house if I could afford them. Which I couldn’t.

  As I neared Marguerite’s tent, I heard her say, “Just like that. Perfect! That hat will stay on in a hurricane.” I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the hat god.

  As I entered the tent, I saw it was a blue hat, but not the one she’d plumped on her head before I’d left. This one was a lighter teal with French ribbon that matched the colors in Peggy’s driving jacket, and only a few small feathers. No tulle.

  “It’s wonderful,” I said. “Marguerite, I should have trusted you.”

  “Apology accepted,” Marguerite said with a grin. “I was showing Peggy how to pin it on so it won’t go flying off in the dressage arena and scare the horses.” She pulled an elaborately painted hatbox from under the dressing table. “Remember, Peggy, remove the pin first, then lift the hat straight up—don’t go yanking.”

  “I don’t want to be around for this part,” I said.

  “What part?” Peggy asked.

  “The credit card part.”

  Once the hatbox was carefully stowed on the back seat of our truck, I could tell Peggy’s mood had definitely improved.

  “My mother always said that having the proper clothes for a sporting event is half of winning it,” Peggy said with a satisfied grin.

  “Then you’ll be a champion.”

  Chapter 4

  Merry

  Since we’d been eliminated from this event because of our little debacle in the marathon, Peggy and I found the volunteer coordinator and offered our services if they needed us during the afternoon classes. The high fun classes like turnout, carriage dog, and scurry classes were scheduled after lunch. The marathon would be completed by then.

  For many competitors, that meant a change of carriage to something fancier and more in keeping with Victorian traditions. The ladies pinned their fancy hats on and donned their jackets, the men their top hats, and everyone brought out the aprons to cover their legs. I won’t go into all the regulations. Just take my word for it that competitive carriage driving has rules on top of its rules.

  I have to admit I was annoyed, but not surprised, that Raleigh was leading after the marathon. He didn’t do well in his afternoon tests, however. You can bully horses just so long. Then they simply refuse to listen to you.

  Peggy and I were straightening up our tackroom in the trailer, when we heard the thud of hooves and the jingle of tack coming much too fast from the dressage arena. A moment later, we heard Raleigh’s voice.

  “Call yourself a groom?” he shouted. “You couldn’t groom a poodle. Get the hell off my carriage. Where the hell is Brock? Brock, dammit! Get over here and take care of these horses.”

  “Daddy . . .”

  So Raleigh was yelling at Dawn, his daughter, again.

  “Shut up, just shut up. Get out of my face. You’ll be damned lucky if I don’t cut you out of my life as well as my will. I’ve got more options than you now. Tell that polo playing gigolo if he expects to live off you, go take a job at Walmart.”

  Raleigh’s stable manager, Brock, a lanky guy who looked like a cowboy, ambled up to the side of Raleigh’s carriage. He didn’t seem bothered by Raleigh’s tirade, but then, he was undoubtedly used to them.

  “ Goddammit, Brock, I pay you to look after my horses, not to lounge up here in the shade.”

  Peggy reached across me and slammed the door to the trailer tack room. It didn’t completely cut off the sound of Raleigh’s voice, but deadened it a tad.

  I really wanted to listen. If a little schadenfreude—enjoying your enemy’s discomfort—makes me a bad person, then I’m a bad person. I felt sorry for Dawn and Brock. Most of all I felt sorry for the horses. Raleigh deserved a couple of well-placed hooves right in the gut.

  He’d be hell on wheels at the exhibitors’ party.

  Chapter 5

  Merry

  Some exhibitors’ parties are held outside or in stables. A few are real dress-up affairs, though by the time the day is over, usually competitors are too tired to do more than throw on a clean pair of jeans. What most of them want is a drink—generally alcoholic—lots of good food and a chance to rehash the day’s driving with their frenemies. The parties don’t generally last far into the night. People are tired, and competitors are facing the cones competition on Sunday morning. If you’re weaving from bourbon the night before, you certainly won’t be any good at weaving through cones the next day.

  This party was halfway between barbecue and pheasant under glass. The Tollivers’ house wasn’t old as southern mansions go. Nouveau-Tara style, it was built in the mid-twenties before the Wall Street crash and passed down the generations. Some of the land was sold off over the years, but the Tollivers still raised prize Limousine cattle and Rhinelander horses for driving and riding on the thousand or so acres they had left.

  There’s an old story about a Texas matron who said she didn’t own but ten acres of land. They called it Downtown Houston. The Tollivers owned a little less city acreage. They called it downtown Atlanta.

  You’d never know that if you met either of them on the street. Juanita mucked stalls and cleaned tack right along with her grooms. She did usually wear thick gloves, however. Her six-carat engagement ring tended to catch otherwise, and she made certain her Patek Philippe watch could stand up to immersion in horse liniment. She’d once told me she thought Rolexes were tacky.

  Happily retired from banking and now a full time farmer, Harry Tolliver shot skeet, drove his horses, played with his golf clubs and his grandchildren, and generally enjoyed himself. He’d lost a step or two the last couple of years, and his weight and blood pressure worried Juanita, but he refused to give up his early breakfasts at the local café with the other good ole boys.

  Surprisingly, Giles sauntered onto the Tollivers’ patio in full charm mode.

  Peggy narrowed her eyes at him and whispered to me, “What’s with the shake and howdy?”

  “Probably improved his mood by dismembering the last remaining specimen of some endangered species on his way over here from his trailer,” I whispered back as he approached us.

  “Good evening, Peggy, you dry off yet?” He guffawed, bent over her hand, and might even have kissed it if she hadn’t snatched it out of his way.

  “How kind of you to inquire, Mr. Raleigh.” Anyone other than Giles would have frozen solid from her breath.

  “Oh, come now. Call me Giles. And how are you this evening, Merry? Hope I didn’t upset you two fine ladies this morning. Sometimes my alligator tongue overwhelms my hummingbird brain when I’m on a marathon. Please accept my apologies.”

  My first thought was that he was drunk out of his gourd. But he was known as a bad drunk, not an eloquent one. Had he been hitting Sarah Beth’s tranquilizers? He was too calm to be on cocaine or crystal meth. “Um-hm,” I said, but he’d already brushed past us and w
iped us from his memory bank. Both Peggy and I turned to follow his progress through the crowd.

  “Catherine, don’t you look lovely this evening,” he said, and leaned over to give her an air kiss and a whisper in her ear. Prurient, probably. Offered to take her to bed.

  Catherine Harris, still in technical delegate mode, flinched and gave him a stare that would have pickled okra in the field.

  “You and I have to sit down and have us a long chat this weekend,” he said. He turned and held out his hand. “And I must have a talk with that fine young man Troy I’ve heard so much about. I’m sure you rely on him heavily.”

  “Ooooh,” Peggy whispered. “Nasty.”

  Giles swept on, nodding to left and right. It was like watching a monarch process through a palace garden party. The monarch being Ivan the Terrible or Genghis Khan.

  Troy hadn’t heard Giles’s remark. He was too engrossed with the tall, elegant post deb he was staring at. She was indeed beautiful, but I didn’t like the way her eyes kept sweeping the room like a submarine periscope. Not wary, exactly, but alert.

  “Do you see Sarah Beth?” I asked Peggy. “Is she here?”

  “Maybe she’s spending time fixin’ herself up. If she doesn’t show soon, we can fix her a plate and take it down to her.”

  “Good excuse,” I said. “Hey, Dick. You do clean up well.”

  Dick Fitzgibbons leaned over and kissed Peggy’s cheek. He didn’t bother to kiss me, but I already knew he had a thing for Peggy and she had a thing for him. He considers me more like a daughter, anyway.

 

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