“I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again,” I whispered.
Worry spread across Dad’s features. “First love is the hardest.”
“So I’m finding out.” I took a sip, and the hot fluid instantly warmed me.
“Try and get some rest.” Dad leaned down and gave me a kiss.
“I will.”
After I drank my tea, I switched off my bedside lamp. Keetah pushed into my room and jumped onto the bed next to me, licking my face before lying down beside me.
I clung tight to him and wept. I wept for Carsen. I wept for what could’ve been and never would be. I cried until my head throbbed and my tears dried up.
“Oh Keetah, what am I going to do without him?” I whispered in the dark.
It is said love conquers all, but tonight I wasn’t so sure because in life there are certain wounds that just can’t be healed.
Chapter Eighteen
Pariah
With a deep breath, I climbed from Dad’s truck the next morning. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face everyone. There would be whispering and gossiping when people realized Carsen and I weren’t together. Of course, I’d have to deal with the questions as to why we broke up.
“Keep your chin up,” Dad said before I shut the door.
I gave him a wave then trudged into the school. Students milled in the halls some of which gave me sympathetic looks, while others glared and pushed past me. Did everybody already know? It was a small town, but this was ridiculous.
As I approached my locker, I stopped, staring in horror. The door looked as if it’d been punched in; it was mangled and covered with pictures from the newspaper article as well as photos from the Berry S.I. website. Written across it in black spray paint was the word “traitor.”
I choked back tears, and peered around. A couple girls whispered and pointed at me, while others muttered things under their breath. Anger built in my chest, and I clenched my backpack tighter.
I never believed they’d do something like this to me. When the roles were switched, I didn’t tell anyone Carsen was a shifter. Instead, I went out of my way to protect him.
“Traitor,” some guy said bumping into me, knocking my bag from his hands.
With a sigh, I bent to pick it up and when I stood, I saw Carsen walking down the hall ahead of me. He had his arm around a different girl, a girl that wasn’t me. Tears burned the back of my eyes. This wasn’t fair; he’d said he loved me.
Glaring at my locker, I jerked on the damaged door but it wouldn’t budge.
“Great,” I grumbled under my breath. Not only was my locker broke, but I couldn’t even get to my schoolbooks.
So down to the office I went to ask to have the janitor get it open for me. On my way to the office, I pretended not to hear the rumors drifting around me. But it was hard to ignore them.
“Oh my gosh, I heard they broke up because he caught her cheating,” one girl said.
“He totally dumped her for Kendra—it was only a matter of time,” said another girl.
On and on they went until my head reeled with resentment and hurt. My eyes blurred, and it took everything in me not to bawl. Maybe staying in Point Hope wasn’t such a good idea after all. But, I didn’t want to let them run me out. If I left, it’d be on my terms.
I averted my eyes, trying to ignore everyone, but then I was bumped in the shoulder, this time much harder than the last. I glanced up to see Ferren glaring at me like a viper about to strike.
“Watch where you’re going, traitor.” She shoved me hard against the locker. My shoulders dug into the metal and I cringed in pain.
And then I snapped. I’d put up with it ever since arriving this morning, which seemed like hours ago, but was only like twenty minutes. I dropped my bag to the ground and rushed at her. I threw my weight into it, slamming against her until she crashed into the lockers. I raised my fist, punching her in the jaw, as my temper flared out of control.
“I didn’t betray you,” I shouted, as she flung me to the ground. I jumped up and we both went at each other, with fists swinging and curse words flying.
Her nails dug into my face, and my shoulder throbbed from where I’d hit the lockers. I caught a hold of her long hair, while she gripped my ponytail.
“Stop!” I heard Mr. Cavanaugh yell as he came between us, ripping us apart. He grabbed me by my shirt collar. “Enough, now who started it?”
I kept my mouth shut, trying to catch my breath. A part of me wanted to point and say Ferren, but I didn’t.
“I ought to send you both down to the office,” he said, dragging me away. “Ima, come with me—Ferren get your books and sit in the hall.” He leaned down, picking up my book bag then escorted me to his class.
Mr. Cavanaugh made me take a seat then stood staring at me with his arms across his chest. He studied my face as if waiting for me to break down and tell him what’d happened. But I just stared back.
“What’s going on with you? You’re one of my best students, this is so unlike you.”
I didn’t answer but instead played with my bracelet. The truth was I didn’t even know what was going on. I mean, I’d never been in a fight before. A few times during soccer I got into shoving matches with an opponent, but nothing more.
“Ima, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. For starters you could tell me who started the fight in the hall?”
I bit my tongue, shrugging. I wondered if I should ask for a lawyer—or plead the fifth.
Right then the classroom door flew open and Carsen and Talon came rushing in. Carsen’s features were wild and his face pale as he glanced at me. My heart quickened at the sight of him. I must be crazy. After everything that’d happened to me this morning, and I still wanted him.
I turned my gaze from him to Talon who’s eyes were black as night, the rage was evident in the searing glares. I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it.
“Where’s Ferren?” Carsen said.
“Your cousin should be sitting outside my class in a couple of minutes. You might want to tell her she’s lucky Ima’s not talking because if I had to guess who started the fight my money would be on Ferren. Now get out of here so I can finish speaking to Ms. Berry in private,” Mr. Cavanaugh said.
Talon stared at the scratches on my face then stalked from the room, followed closely by Carsen who ignored me.
I watched after him, the tightness in my chest almost unbearable.
“So you ready to talk yet?” Mr. Cavanaugh said.
“I don’t have anything to say,” I said in a soft voice.
“Ima, come on, you and Ferren are best friends.”
“Were. Not anymore, she thinks I stabbed her in the back and so does her cousin and Talon.”
“Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere. So I suppose this all has something to do with your locker?”
I sighed. “I guess. I have no idea why everyone’s so mad at me. I mean, yeah I lied about my dad’s job but it’s no reason to freak out on me.”
“Trust and honor are big amongst the people of Point Hope,” Mr. Cavanaugh said.
“Well it’s a big deal to me too. But I hate people knowing about my dad and the TV show. For once, I just wanted to everyone to like me and not because I’m on TV or because of what they see on screen.”
Mr. Cavanaugh appeared sympathetic. He was a great guy and my favorite teacher here. But the best part was he seemed to be on my side.
“I’m not going to report you, but you will write me an essay on the importance of integrity and maintaining ones cool. I also want you to make me a list of the pro’s and con’s of fighting.”
My mouth fell agape and I stared at him. Okay, so this was crazy. The school should be putting me in detention or suspending me or something. “Thanks Mr. C.”
“If you need me today come find me. And Ima? No more fighting.”
“Yes sir. But you forget I have Ferren, Carsen, and Talon in almost every class.”
“Then it’s lucky I have y
ou for three hours out of the day. I’ll go ahead and change the seating arrangement then get with the rest of your teachers to give them a head’s up.”
“Thanks.” My lips managed to form a weak smile.
This so wasn’t what I wanted. I’d gone from popular new girl to social pariah in a matter of twenty minutes. I was friendless, scared, and hurt. And to top it off my new best friend was my teacher. How much more pathetic could it get?
****
Lunch was one of the hardest thirty minutes of my day. I spent the first five minutes trying to find somewhere to sit, but every time I sat down some place people got up and moved. After the third table cleared out, I finally decided I wasn’t hungry anymore and ditched the lunchroom for the library, where I hid until fifth hour. All day I tried to avoid Carsen, but it was like he was around every corner and to make matters worse, Kendra was always on his arm. It made me ill to see them together, to see her sitting in my seat and holding my boyfriend or rather ex-boyfriend.
I imagined him taking her to his special place and started to cry, it was too much to think about.
By the time last hour rolled around, I was glad to hear we’d be starting a session on indoor soccer. Finally, something I could enjoy.
Our gym teacher went through some of the fundamentals then broke us down into teams. The whistle blew signifying the game started. I dribbled the ball up then passed it to one of the guys on my team. I rushed past the defense, getting into position. My teammate kicked the ball back to me and I shot it into the goal.
I smiled feeling tingly with adrenaline and love for the game.
“Bet you can’t do it again.” Ferren nudged me with her shoulder.
“What do you want to wager?” I said, narrowing my eyes at her.
“You miss it, you leave town,” she said.
“You’re on.” I stalked back into position as center forward.
I waited for the whistle then kicked the ball over to my teammate Justin. Darting past more defenders, Justin passed the ball back to me and I dribbled left only to meet Ferren head on. She used her shifter speed to overtake me. With a quick stop move, I switched directions.
Ferren stuck her foot out and tripped me, causing me to skid across the gym floor. My knee hit the wood hard and instantly began to bleed. It stung, but I bit the inside of my cheek. Just get up and show her how it’s done.
Ferren glowered as her lips turned into vicious smile.
“Ferren Shinew,” the teacher yelled.
I leapt to my feet and ran for the ball stealing it back from the left defender and weaving in and out of the players. I’ve played soccer since I was able to walk and there was no way I’d let Ferren beat me. The teacher yelled my name and blew the whistle, hollering about the blood running down my leg. But I didn’t care. All that mattered was the game.
I tapped the ball with the outside of my foot to get around another defender. Again, Ferren came at me, this time I passed the ball to Justin then dashed around her.
“Ima,” the teacher said once more. Again, I ignored him.
The door at the end of the gym opened and I watched Carsen and Talon barge in, both looked frantic, much like they had this morning after the fight. Carsen sniffed at the air and I turned away pretending they weren’t there.
I got in front of the goal and Justin fed me the ball. Pulling my leg back, I took the shot sending the ball into the far right corner. The goalie didn’t have a chance as it sailed into the net for the score.
My team gave me high-fives as I ran back to our side.
Ferren didn’t say anything as we past one another, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“Looks like I’m staying.”
“Ima and Ferren next time I blow the whistle to stop you better do so. Now Ima, go see the nurse and get your leg bandaged up,” the teacher said.
Carsen turned his back to me as I walked by and the ache began anew. Fighting the lump in my throat, I pretended not to see him.
“She’s fine.” I heard Ferren say before the door shut behind me.
I was bewildered. Why would they care if I was fine or not? But then, another thought plagued my mind. How did they know I’d gotten hurt? And why did they care?
****
When school let out, I ran to Dad’s truck as if I was in a marathon and jumped into the cab.
“What in the world happened to your face?” Dad shifted the truck into drive.
“Are you sure you want to know the answer?” I adjusted my seatbelt.
He quirked an eyebrow, and I knew he wouldn’t let it go.
“I kind of got into a fight.”
“What!” Dad slammed on the brakes and the truck skidded several feet.
“It’s nothing, Dad, besides you should see the other girl.” My lips twitched. God, it was hard acting as if everything was fine.
“This isn’t a joke. Why wasn’t I called?”
“Mr. Cavanaugh agreed not to report it if I wrote an essay—besides I’m not the one who started it.”
Dad got quiet as he finally eased out of the parking lot. He headed away from our house and drove over to the store. “I don’t want any more fighting, and I mean it.”
“I promise,” I said. “So what do we have to get from the store?”
“I thought we’d make some homemade pizzas tonight,” Dad said grinning.
“We haven’t done that in forever. Maybe I ought to get in fights more often.”
Dad shook his head at me as we climbed from the truck. “You’re really pushing it tonight, girly.”
“It’s been a long day, and I need to find some humor in it or I’ll go crazy.”
“We can still leave,” Dad said.
“No, I’ll tough it out, besides the worst is probably over, right?”
Dad didn’t answer but rather led me into the store where we went up and down the aisles to find cheese, sauce, and pepperoni. I even convinced Dad to buy a gallon of chocolate fudge swirl ice cream for dessert.
When we got to the counter, Glenn stood at the register.
“Hiya, Glenn.” Dad put our stuff down to pay for.
Glenn didn’t smile or speak, but simply walked away. Dad didn’t say anything but took our stuff to a different cashier. But this one, too, refused to wait on us. At last, Dad peered down at me, gesturing we should go.
“No.” I marched over to the last cash register and tossed our stuff down. “We need to pay for this.”
I recognized the girl from school and at first, she looked nervous, but finally rang up our groceries.
“Thanks,” I said as she handed back my change.
She nodded, but said nothing.
“Please tell me you didn’t have to deal with this type of treatment all day,” Dad said on our way home.
“No, it was worse.”
“Ima.”
“We’ll be fine, we always are. Besides you’re the one who says I shouldn’t run away from a problem.”
“Yeah, well we were never faced with something this extreme.”
I chuckled. “I think things will cool down some over the next few days.”
“I sure hope so because I arranged a surprise for you on Friday and Saturday,” Dad said.
Surprise? Whenever Dad said something like that, it usually meant trouble or in other words a new assignment.
“What kind of surprise?” Dread swallowed my words.
“One I think you’ll like,” he said with a laugh.
“Right.”I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath. Not only did I have to worry about school and the townspeople, but now I had to add Dad’s bloody surprise to the list.
“Hey, now when have I ever given you a bad surprise?” Dad said.
“Where do you want me to start?” I forced a smile.
My mind drifted back to the surprise involving a whole summer in the Mojave Desert then there was the springing Alaska on me. Yep, definitely didn’t like surprises.
Chapter Nineteen
Surpris
e
Snow got into my socks as I tromped up to the house after school Friday afternoon. I slid from my coat, while kicking my boots off near the door so I didn’t track anything onto the carpet.
“Hey Keetah, where’s Dad?” I said rubbing his belly.
I went into the kitchen where I found a note on the counter from Dad indicating he’d gone to pick up my surprise in town. Since he had to retrieve the surprise, it meant we weren’t leaving. So I’d still have time to try and mend things with Carsen and the others.
Carsen. He was becoming more of a constant dream of mine. I thought about him all the time. I’d find myself peering at him during class when he wasn’t looking or sometimes pretending to be running late after school so I bumped into him before basketball practice. Yet, it wasn’t getting me anywhere. He acted as if I didn’t exist. This should’ve deterred me. But it was hard to fall “out of love” with someone. He was my first boyfriend, and just because he was ready to move on, didn’t mean I had to. But perhaps it was time to start facing the facts. He didn’t want me anymore.
Today everyone would be going to the basketball game, but not me. Even if I went, I wouldn’t have anyone to sit with and as it was I didn’t think I could sit through anymore shunning. It was getting lonely; I mean no one talked to me anymore. And if invisible was the new cool, well than I was the most popular girl in school.
Well, I can’t say everyone ignored me because Mr. Cavanaugh let me sit in his classroom during lunch all week. He even struck up conversations, which made me feel better.
I tugged my school bag down to my room, with Keetah following close on my heels.
Once I put my books away, I grabbed my guitar. Sadness washed over me as I caught a glimpse of my dress. Maybe I could con my dad into taking me to a fancy restaurant or party where I’d actually get a chance to wear it.
With my pick in my mouth, I put the guitar strap over my shoulder then I proceeded to strum the strings and tune it. After I was happy with the tone, I began to play a haunting melody. The chords were soft and low, something you might hear in some forgotten café. My hands flew across the strings then I began to sing a song about lost love. “Nothing about this seems right, you should be here tonight…Holding me, smiling for me. But you’re just a memory now, I need to move on, but how…”
Seeking Shapeshifters Page 18