She pushed her chair back so fast, it hit the floor. I expected the fight to begin. She'd yell enough to wilt the Christmas tree. But she took two steps toward me, threw her arms around my neck, and broke into sobs so hard, she could scarcely breathe.
I hugged her tightly and patted her back, soothing her the way I did back when she was a little girl and someone had hurt her feelings. "Shh. Shh. Stop that right now, and tell me what's happened."
"I don't have anyplace to go, and I've been so mean to you, and he left, and I quit school without telling you. Daddy said I was a disgrace and I couldn't live there because he won't be disgraced again, and I'm afraid, Momma. Jonah said he wasn't ready to be a father, so he went home to Pennsylvania, and he's divorcing me. I've lost my job at McDonald's, and I don't know what to do," she said between sobs and wiping her nose and eyes with the Kleenex Billy Lee handed her.
I maneuvered her across the room and back to the kitchen table. "Sit down, and start-from- the beginning." "
She melted into the chair Billy Lee had set upright, laid her forearms on the table, and kept crying. "I'm such a fool."
Billy Lee reached across the table and touched her arm. I expected her to go up in flames and pull away from him, maybe even give him a royal piece of her mind, but she looked into his understanding eyes, stood up, and threw her arms around his neck and cried on his shoulder.
I hurriedly made microwavable hot chocolate and set it before her. She finally let go of Billy Lee and sat down but kept her hand on his right there on the table. When I sat down, she ignored the hot chocolate and grabbed my hand with her other one. "I've made a mess of my life. I'm being punished for treating you the way I did."
.,start at the beginning," Billy Lee said softly.
"Jonah and I had this big fight when I got pregnant. It was an accident, but he wouldn't believe me, and he's gone back to Pennsylvania, and he took everything we had with him." She looked so miserable that it broke my heart all over again.
"Well, that's probably a good thing. It would be wise for him to stay in his part of the world if he wants to live to see his next birthday," I said with absolute conviction.
"Don't worry. He won't ever be back," she blurted out.
"Keep going," Billy Lee said.
She sipped the hot chocolate, and a little color came back into her ashen face.
"When I told him I was pregnant, he said I had to get rid of it, because he wasn't being saddled with a kid."
Billy Lee patted her hand and waited patiently.
I still had visions of feeding a fifty-pound catfish the remnants of a pretty boy's body.
She continued in a broken voice. "The rent is due in five days. I got laid off from my job yesterday. The food is gone. I've got ten dollars and a tank of gas. I went to Daddy and told him about the baby, and he told me to get out."
Billy Lee's expression was pure disgust. "You did the right thing, coming here, Crystal. Your momma has missed you"
I patted her hand with my free one. "We'll get through this. I've got a lovely spare room upstairs you can stay in. Then, when the semester starts again, we'll go find you another apartment"
"I'm not going back to school. I hate it. I was on probation all last semester. My grades were horrible," she said.
That put a whole new light on the issue. I was barely getting my own life together. I had a mother with Alzheimer's, a fresh divorce, and it wasn't an easy job keeping my emotions in check with Billy Lee. But this was my child, and I loved her so much that her pain was tearing my heart out.
"We'll talk about that later. Right now, we'll help you bring in your clothes."
"There's only one suitcase. We've pawned everything I had to keep going. Daddy cut off my credit cards when I got married. I got a job at McDonald's, but Jonah said he wasn't working fast food."
That fellow wasn't going to be tossed into the lake. I'd think of something much more painful and longer lasting than a simple bullet or drowning.
"I'll go get your suitcase, then, and you finish that hot chocolate," Billy Lee said.
"You had any supper? Billy Lee and I made vegetable soup today, and it's still on the back of the stove," I said as I hugged her tightly.
"I am hungry," she admitted.
The tone of her voice sent chills up my spine. My child was scared, pregnant, and hungry, and her father had turned her out. Maybe he'd join this Jonah-whoever in a shallow grave.
"Momma, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to butt in on you and Billy Lee. You don't need me messing things up for you," she whispered when Billy Lee was out the door.
"What are you talking about? You're not messing anything up"
"But I thought he lived with you"
"Billy Lee doesn't live here."
"That's what Daddy said. He said you traded him in for the village idiot." She blushed.
"Billy Lee is my best friend and the most caring, kind man in the world, but he goes home at night, Crystal."
I set about heating a bowl of soup in the microwave and uncovering the leftover corn bread. "Milk or tea?"
"Milk, please. Momma, I can't believe you'll just take me in when I've been so mean"
"Do you want to get rid of that child you're carrying? Have you had a single doubt about letting it live, even though its father is a fool?"
She shook her head. "Never."
"I feel the same about you."
Tears filled her already swollen eyes and flowed down her cheeks. "I don't deserve this."
"You are going to be a mother. Congratulations. Once a mother, always a mother. You don't ever get to quit or retire. Soup's hot. I hear the front door. Billy Lee will take your things up to your room, and tomorrow we'll go buy whatever you need."
"Thank you, and I mean it," she said humbly.
She dug into the soup with gusto. When she finished that bowl, she asked for another and even washed the dishes when she was done.
"Now, was there something about a Christmas tree?" she asked.
"Billy Lee cut it out of the forest," I said.
Her eyes finally had a little life in them. "A forest in Tishomingo? Come on, Momma"
Amazing what a bowl of soup and the promise of a warm bed will do. Drew ought to be covered in honey and staked out on a fire-ant mound. Denying his own child a place to stay must have broken her as badly as Jonah's leaving had.
I amended my story. "Well, then, in the woods out behind his house. Tomorrow I'm going to the Dollar General and buying one of those ornaments for Baby's First Christmas. I'm going to be a grandmother!"
Crystal picked up an ornament and hung it on the tree. "Momma, are you sure you're all right with this?"
"What? A live tree? I love it. Always wanted one, but my mother said they weren't the `in' thing, and your grandmother Williams would have gone into cardiac arrest if we'd brought a live tree in after all the money she'd spent on that interior designer."
.,Not the tree. I think it's great. It smells like the stuff you spray out of a can during the holidays, only not as strong. About me living here and having a baby without a husband"
"Truth is, if you were the first woman to have a child without a husband, we could sacrifice you to the gods of the perfect, but since you aren't and most likely won't be the last, then I suppose we'll keep you and the baby both"
Billy Lee fairly beamed.
"What about you?" I asked him.
"Neighborhood needs a child in it," he said.
Crystal picked up another ornament and studied the tree. "I wasn't expecting you to understand, Momma. I figured you'd give me a lecture and tell me what it'd cost me to stay here"
"I'm a changed woman. Speaking of which, you are going to be a mother, my child. You're going to need to figure out what you're going to do. Mothering is a big, big responsibility. How do you plan on caring for this baby?" I hitched up my sweats again. I was going to have to break down and buy some smaller clothing.
Billy Lee kept putting one ornament on after another. "What
is your passion, Crystal?"
She eyed him carefully. "Passion? What are you talking about?"
Passion to a kid had a different connotation than to us fortyyear-old dinosaurs. It had to do with steamed-up car windows in a parking place. She wasn't sure what he was talking about, and it showed in her face.
"As in, what makes you the happiest? You said you hate college. What makes peace in your heart? That's your passion." "
"Digging in the dirt and making things grow," she said, and she put a red bell-shaped ornament on a bottom limb.
I jerked my head around to stare at the child I'd birthed twenty years ago. She wouldn't pick up fall leaves without gloves.
.11 loved going to the garden with Grandpa Matthews. He used to let me plant all the marigolds around the perimeter of the garden, and I took some classes in horticulture in college. Daddy would have died if he knew I'd blown off pre-law and accounting and taken classes in plants. But that's the thing I liked. They're the only classes that kept my grades up high enough to even let me stay on probation. Someday I'd like to have a greenhouse and produce plants to sell to flower shops."
"You wouldn't rather own a flower shop?" he asked.
"Nope. For now I'll just get a job doing whatever I can, but my ultimate dream is to own a greenhouse. I'll have to save a long time for it, because even after I have one, it will be a year or more before it would support me and the baby."
This was my child, talking like an adult. Not once had she mentioned having her nails done or asked when we'd shop for a wardrobe.
"Sounds like a good idea to me. Job like that, you wouldn't have to take your child to a sitter. Never did like the idea of a baby being left with strangers," Billy Lee said.
"Me, neither. I don't know what I would have done if Momma hadn't stayed home with me. I didn't turn out too good even with that, did I?"
"I'd say you did all right. We're all entitled to a mistake or two in our lives." Billy Lee put several more ornaments on the highest limbs. "Gert would have liked the tree this year. I believe we're ready for icicles."
Crystal actually smiled when he handed her a fistful of long, silver-foil icicles. "Aunt Gert would have strung me up from the tree outside."
"I don't think so," Billy Lee said. "We aren't too judgmental here on Broadway Street."
He handed me the angel for the top of the tree and held the chair steady while I stepped up onto it and set her in her place.
"That's beautiful," Crystal said.
Billy Lee nodded. "I'm going home. I'll be around tomorrow morning to help start the holiday cooking. Seven all right?"
I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't think of an excuse to keep him other than I didn't really want to be alone with Crystal. I needed his support.
Crystal's eyes bugged out. "Seven?"
"Seven in the morning, young lady, and you will be up with us. Whoever lives in this place works in this place," I said.
"Yes, ma'am," she said.
"You didn't think you were going to sleep until noon on Christmas Eve, did you? We've got pumpkins to clean and boil and a turkey to pluck," I teased.
"For real?"
"No, the turkey and ham are from the store, but don't say that too loudly. Gert will rise up out of her grave and haunt us," I whispered, and I waved good-night to Billy Lee.
"I'm dreaming."
"No, Crystal, you aren't. We'll get through this together. It won't be easy, and you'll face a lot of flak, but you'll live, and that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Now let's go to bed. I've got the most amazing Jacuzzi up there, and you're going to love it."
She looked around the room. "The old place is looking great. When are you buying furniture?"
"I'm not in a hurry about anything. But your room is furnished, so you won't have to sleep on the floor." I pulled the plug on the tree lights and flipped the wall switch. A nightlight guided us up the stairs.
"Oh, my," she whispered when she saw the bedroom furniture.
"Pretty, isn't it? Billy Lee made it. Take a peek into my bedroom. It's just as gorgeous. If that man is an idiot, I'd love to see what he could have done with a brain."
We started Christmas off early with presents. Billy Lee gave me a gorgeous quilt rack that he'd made out of aspen, and I gave him a signed copy of James Lee Burke's newest novel. It seemed as if I was copying the idea he'd had for my birthday, but he was truly tickled with his present. Together we had a dozen packages under the tree for Crystal, most of them bought at the last minute and some pretty silly, like a new alarm clock with huge numbers. But she squealed at each gift like a little kid.
"This is the best Christmas ever," she said after each one.
"It really is," Billy Lee agreed. "Gert would've loved this day. Now, let's start cooking in earnest. I'll make breakfast," he said.
"I'll set the table. Can we use the good china for dinner?" Crystal asked.
"Of course. It's a holiday. Get out Granny Molly's pretty glasses too," I said.
She went to the dining room, and Billy Lee and I headed for the kitchen.
He touched my arm. "I want to thank you again for the book. I'm not too good with words, Trudy. I can talk all day about wood and refinishing, but ..
"Your face showed that you liked it. But there's no way you are as proud of that book as I am of the quilt rack," I said.
He smiled, and my heart melted. Billy Lee Tucker was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
At ten o'clock Crystal drove the Maverick over to the nursing home and picked up Momma and Lessie. Momma came in the front door all dressed up in a velour jogging set I'd bought for her for Christmas the year before. She and Lessie each had presents under the tree, and they carried on like two little girls.
Marty and Betsy arrived at eleven with a basket full of homemade cookies and candies. They went straight to the kitchen to help and sent Crystal in to visit with Lessie and her grandmother.
I couldn't have asked for a better gift than Momma's knowing everyone that day. We put the finishing touches on dinner, and Billy Lee sat at one end of the dinner table and carved the smoked turkey. Momma and Lessie were on his right. I was to his left, with Betsy, Marty, and Crystal across the table from Momma and Lessie.
Momma clinked her iced-tea glass with a knife and got everyone's attention, then raised it in a toast. "To Trudy, who has redone this house beautifully and who cooked this dinner for us" Everyone held up tea goblets and made some kind of "hear, hear," noise.
I didn't clink.
I stood.
"I can't take the credit for this meal or this house alone. Billy Lee has worked twice as hard and long as I have on the house. He's worked all day beside me, teaching me all kinds of valuable lessons. One in particular is that paint stripper will take the skin right off the knuckles if I don't get it washed off in a hurry."
Everyone chuckled.
I went on. "He's kept the carpenters, painters, plumbers, and electricians as well as all the laborers on schedule and organized. Then in the evenings he went to his shop and built furniture. You are welcome to tour the upstairs after dinner and take a look at his work."
Betsy and Marty glanced up the staircase. I bet they wished right then that they hadn't been so eager to plow the old place down.
I took a breath and kept going. "But most of all, Billy Lee has kept me sane through all my personal troubles this year. He's been my true friend, and I couldn't ask for a better one. As far as dinner, I can't take credit for that, either. Crystal and Billy Lee helped all day yesterday and this morning. And she got up early both mornings, so that is truly a Christmas miracle."
That brought a round of laughter.
"So the toast goes to Billy Lee and Crystal also, not just to me. By the way, Crystal brought me the most wonderful Christmas present ever. She's having my first grandchild. So please raise your glasses to the next generation."
Crystal wiped her eyes, pushed her chair back, and stood up. "I didn't help that much. Billy Lee
and Momma did most of it. I did get up early, but it was out of necessity. Morning sickness is horrible." She laughed. "To avoid a bunch of questions, I got married in Vegas a few months ago. The father of my child has chosen not to be a part of this baby's life. This toast is to Momma and Billy Lee, who have taught me more in two days than I'd learned in twenty years. And not just about how to make a pumpkin pie from scratch. I love you both."
A wide grin split Billy Lee's beaming face, and his blue eyes twinkled.
Momma leaned over and whispered, "When is Granny Molly coming out of her room? Are we taking a tray up to her later? She did a fine job on this sweet-potato casserole. I always did like it when she put in extra pecans. It's the only way to eat yams. Did Gert make the cranberry salad? She told me once that her secret is grinding up a whole orange, peelings and all, for it, but I think she was teasing. What do you think?"
"That's what she told me too," I whispered back, wishing she hadn't slipped away.
The table was silent for a while, but in a few minutes everyone was talking again. Momma kept right on eating, putting food into her mouth, laying the fork down between bites, her hands in her lap. Whether she could remember any more that day or not, the manners that had been drilled into her as a child had stuck. She'd always be prissy. What other constant was there in my life?
Billy Lee's name came to my mind without hesitation.
After dinner Momma and Lessie were both worn out, so Crystal offered to take them back to the nursing home. Momma shook her head. "When I come to this house, Billy Bob Thornton takes me home in his red Caddy. We leave the top down. Call him and tell him I'm ready to go home."
"Grandma, Billy Bob Thornton isn't here," Crystal said apologetically.
I touched Momma on the arm and smiled at her. "I will call him right now. I'm sure he's already on his way. He was really sorry that he couldn't be here with you today"
Lessie was the only one who smiled and nodded at everything I said. Everyone else looked at me as if I'd grown an extra eyeball right in the middle of my forehead. I kept talking to Momma about Billy Bob while Billy Lee slipped out the back door, and in a few minutes he drove the red Cadillac up into the driveway and honked.
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