by H. P. Munro
Looking at the plastic card the police officer studied the photograph and shone his torch into Dan’s face to compare, “If we wanted you just to slow down sir, the sign would say slow down.”
Dan grimaced at the bright light. “Quite, I apologize. So do I get a ticket?” he asked hopefully.
The officer frowned at Dan’s apparent eagerness to get his ticket. “Where you headed?” he leaned down resting his hand on the roof of the car.
“A friend’s house,” Dan answered carefully, aware that he may have aroused suspicion in the policeman and desperate not to create any more.
“Kind of late for a visit, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely, but my friend needs me,” Dan smiled nervously.
The police officer cocked his head to one side. As he stood up straight Dan breathed a sigh hoping that his ordeal was over.
“Step out of the car please sir.”
Dan’s head dropped as he opened the door and stood beside his vintage car.
“Have you been drinking?”
“No sir.”
“Would you mind complying with some sobriety tests?”
“No sir.”
As the officer took a step back to allow Dan room, a loud sneeze came from the trunk of the car.
“Do you have something in your trunk?” the officer asked, walking towards the rear of the car.
“No,” Dan squeaked.
“Pop the trunk for me please sir.”
Swallowing down a squeal Dan walked round to the rear of his car and pressed the button to open the trunk with shaking hands. He gripped the metal and stared up towards the night sky not daring to look down at the sight that greeted the police officer.
“Nothing in the trunk eh?” the officer said sarcastically to Dan.
“Apart from her, just the spare tire,” Dan replied weakly.
“Hi,” Freya said brightly from her position in the trunk.
The police officer looked between the woman in the trunk and the tall man standing with closed eyes, biting at his bottom lip.
“There’s a perfectly innocent explanation for this officer,” Freya smiled pulling herself up to a sitting position.
“I’d sure love to hear it,” the officer drawled resting his hand on the hilt of his gun.
Dan noticed the action and gulped, “We’re friends and she’s trying to hide from the paparazzi, so she hid in the boot.” Dan’s body almost wilted as he exhaled after his explanation.
“The boot?” the police officer asked.
“He means the trunk, he’s British,” Freya said by way of an explanation. She held out her right hand, “My name is Freya...”
“Easter,” the police officer took her hand and helped her from the trunk. “You’re Francesca Conor’s daughter.”
Never before had Freya been so pleased for the fame of her family and she beamed a smile in his direction as Dan rolled his eyes.
“We’re really sorry officer for causing you trouble but, as Dan said, I was trying to keep a low profile,” Freya said as she stood beside Dan who was now picturing his life in prison and deciding orange was just not his color.
The police officer grinned, “Well it appears that this has, as you said an innocent explanation.” He wrote out Dan’s ticket for not stopping and handed it to him, “I’ll let you both carry on your journey.”
He cleared his throat as Freya raised her leg about to hop back into the trunk. “How ’bout you finish the ride up front,” he smiled.
Freya nodded slowly as she lowered her leg and set it back down on the concrete.
“So any more bright ideas that are likely to land me in prison?” Dan asked fastening his seatbelt and starting the engine.
“Nope, that was the full extent of my plan,” Freya said dejectedly, as she typed a text to explain to Jordan that their plan had had to be aborted.
Taking pity on his friend Dan sighed, “Okay let’s look at this logically. You don’t want to get caught alone in each other’s homes for fear the press will put two and two together and realize you’re at it like rabbits.” He ignored Freya’s low growl and continued, “So why not just have a select few over for a party, you two can hide in a crowd. Oh!” He started to bounce in his seat with excitement, “Halloween is coming up. Why don’t you have a party?”
Freya turned slowly to look at her friend, whose head was twisting back and forth between looking at her and keeping an eye on the empty road, a huge smile on his face as he waited for the praise for his ingenious idea. “I hate parties, I try and avoid going to parties. Why would I even consider throwing one?”
“Because-”
“Ah!” Freya interrupted him before he could launch into another burst of logic 101. “Not happening. Not ever. Not discussing further, just take me home.”
“But-”
“I’m not having a party, end of discussion.”
***
“So, I’m having a party,” Freya cleared her throat and looked around her cast mates and the members of the crew gathered for the table read. “A Halloween party on Saturday at my place. I realize that it’s kinda short notice, but it was a last minute decision, so if any of you are free I’d love for you to come.” She smiled as her colleagues nodded and waved in her direction, a few shouting out that they would be there. As she gathered up her script and Post-its, she felt a soft touch at her back.
“I’d love to come,” Jordan said mischievously, knowing the effect her words would have on Freya.
Freya turned, her eyes narrowing as she realized that Jordan was playing her, “Well since I’m doing it just so I can be in the same room as you on a Saturday night, it would be bad form to refuse.”
“Maybe I can come over earlier on Saturday and help you set up. Nothing unusual in that, just two friends hanging Halloween decorations.”
“Three friends,” Freya corrected with a wince.
“Okay, that’s not the way I saw our relationship going, I’ll be honest with you,” Jordan whispered. “Maybe we should set out some ground rules.”
“I’d like that,” Freya said thoughtfully, cocking her head to side as she considered Jordan’s words.
“Really, ’cause I’m just getting my head round being with a woman, I’m not sure I’m ready, or will ever be, for a threesome.”
Freya laughed, “Will you stop! Dan’s coming over to help, but it would be great if you came too.” She looked around the now empty room and took the opportunity to brush Jordan’s lips with her own, “I meant that I liked the sound of a relationship, duffus.”
“Well when you flatter me in such a way, I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with,” Jordan replied, using her hips to press Freya against the desk.
Freya placed her hands on Jordan’s shoulders and pushed her away gently, “We should probably take it down a notch, ’cause I’m likely to throw you onto the desk and forget that we’re at work.”
Jordan grimaced, “You realize that every time we do a table read in here, I’m going to be thinking about that now.”
Placing a quick kiss on Jordan’s nose, Freya collected her belongings and slipped past her pouting co-star, “Trust me, you won’t be the only one.”
***
“So how many of these are we making?” Jordan asked, as she looked around Freya’s kitchen. Pumpkins in various states of carving covered every available surface. Both Jordan and Freya’s hands were dyed orange from carving out the innards.
“I’m not sure, I’ve never really done this before,” Freya admitted as she pushed her hair from her brow and surveyed her kitchen. “I’ve gone too far with the pumpkins haven’t I?”
Jordan pulled her close, “Nooo.” Seeing Freya’s look of disbelief she bit on her top lip, “Okay maybe a little. You may be eating pumpkin soup for a while. However, this is and was a good idea.” She kissed Freya slowly, smiling as Freya moaned and deepened the kiss.
“Now, now, ladies, you know the rules. You should be two feet apart at all times
and lips nowhere near each other,” Dan said playfully as he swept back into the room. He ignored his friend’s glare as she disentangled herself from Jordan, “So I’ve been going through your wardrobe to see what I could steal as my costume for tonight.”
“You’ve what?” Freya asked, her eyebrows arching dangerously.
“Oh relax, you’ve not got anything in there that surprised me. You forget I’ve helped you move too many times not to recognize the toy box that,” he waggled his fingers in air quotes, “has to go in the car, musn’t go in the van and don’t let anyone in my family open it.” He grinned over at Jordan, “You are going to be in for a whale of a time sweetie once this whole laying low charade can be forgotten about and the clam jam is over. Anyhoo your wardrobe was a veritable desert for suitable costume ideas. Apart from this.” He held up a triangular hairpiece, “I was thinking I could go as some Tolkeiness character.” He placed the hairpiece against his chin and struck a thoughtful pose, “You know ‘one ring to unite them all’ or whatever the hell they say. What do you think?”
“Is that a-” Jordan started to ask, but stopped when Freya placed an orange tinged hand on her forearm.
“It is and I’m going to enjoy every second of this. Dan, do you know what a merkin is?”
“It sounds like you’re trying to say American in a woeful attempt at a southern accent. Never take up acting,” he grinned.
“Funny funny man,” Freya deadpanned. “A merkin, my dear friend, is a pubic wig.”
Dan’s mouth gaped open in shock. “Pubic,” he repeated meekly, then remembering he was still holding the wig to his chin he let out a shrill scream and threw it on the floor. “Why?” he asked, his entire body shuddered as he walked around in circles. “Why, why, why would you have one of those?”
“Remember when I was in that revival of Hair back in London. Well when I left they gave me my merkin as a leaving gift.”
Dan’s horror rose further. “You’ve worn that?!” he screetched, pointing at the offending article on the floor. “Against your lady bits?!”
“Every night for two months,” Freya grinned. “You’re welcome to borrow it.”
Before Dan could splutter a reply, Anna entered the house. “Ah, good, you’re in. What the hell happened in here?” she asked, casually taking in the sight of close to a hundred pumpkins.
“I’m having a Halloween party tonight.”
Anna looked as surprised as her tightened facial muscles would allow, “You’re hosting a party?” She looked from her granddaughter to the others present in the kitchen, “Daniel, are you okay, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Something like that,” Dan replied, with a nauseous look on his face.
“And lovely Jordan, so good to see you again,” Anna said. “I don’t know if you remember as you had quite the night, but we first met when you won your TONY. Of course all of that was before you and Freya started to-”
“Shag,” Dan interjected, hoping to exact some revenge for the merkin incident.
“I was going with date,” Anna said dryly, shooting Dan a look. Ignoring his muttered ‘that would require actually going on a date,’ she returned her attention to Jordan, “I hope that you liked your birthday gift?”
Jordan nodded dumbly, still not quite able to reconcile that The Anna Connor knew who she was.
“So, Freya, this party. Who are you using for catering?” Seeing a pained look appear on Freya’s face, she winced, “You have arranged for food haven’t you? Or are you planning on feeding your guests with these pumpkins?”
Freya shook her head furiously, “This is why I don’t host parties, I’m dreadful at it.”
Jordan took her into a hug, “It’s okay we can sort something out, don’t start to panic.”
Smiling, Anna rubbed her hands together, “You know it’s been years since I threw a party, leave it to me.” She turned to leave then slowly turned back, “Freya, not that I’m overly bothered but if you have decided to finally put your mark on the place and redecorate, you should know I haven’t had anything fur in the house since the seventies.” She pointed at the merkin on the floor, “But if you must have a rug, you should go for something bigger than a rodent!”
***
“Thanks for picking me up,” Jordan said, as she pulled the excess material of her wedding dress costume into the car.
“Not a worry, I thought it would be good for us to have some time to chat,” Dan replied, smiling and showing the fake fangs covering his own teeth.
“You know I always thought that saying about British people and bad teeth was a crock. Now I’m not sure,” Jordan laughed, flashing her own fangs.
“Are you dribbling like a baby with these? ’cause I swear I’m drooling more than a batchelorette party at a male strip club.”
Jordan laughed, “Yep, I keep having to make this horrible noise.”
Dan sucked noisily, “That the one?”
“Yep.”
“So, seriously, how are you doing with all of this?”
Jordan shrugged, “It’s annoying having to hide, but we both agreed that we should for the time being.”
“I meant more about the whole sexuality thing than the current practicalities,” Dan said gently.
“You’d think that I’d be freaking out more, but I’m really not. I mean I always thought that sexuality was a scale and that I knew where I fell on it. But to realize something about myself, that I never really even gave a fleeting thought to before, it should be something I’m freaking out about, right?” she toyed with the lace on her dress. “I’ve thought about it a lot and Sabrina has been great to speak to and I’ve been using the GLAAD rep that’s supporting the show to ‘hypothetically’ explore my feelings. She probably thinks I’m the most conscientious actor on the planet with all the questions I’ve been peppering her about what my character might be going through. I will admit I wondered whether I should be worried or have doubts, but then I think about Freya and there’s no worries and no doubts. I’ve never felt this way in a relationship before.”
“Well, that’s good ’cause I’m honor-bound to kick the arse out of anyone that hurts Freya, so hearing you say that gives me peace of mind,” Dan smiled. “How’d your family take the news?”
Jordan blushed under her make-up, “I sort of prepared them for something happening with Freya, before anything actually happened, which helped. They’ve been really good. My dad was a bit funny at first, but mom said it was ’cause he’s always had a thing for Freya’s mom, so the whole one degree of separation freaked him out.”
“Talking about Freya’s mom, since I like you, I’m going to give you some advice on surviving a Conor party.”
Jordan raised her eyebrows, “A Conor party? Her parents will be there?”
“Oh yes.” Dan confirmed. “So, if at any point you feel your jaw drop and you want to say ‘oh my god is that’ you can insert any famous name in there by the way, just close your mouth and presume it is, because it probably will be.” He glanced round and almost laughed aloud at the look on Jordan’s face. The white make-up covering her face was almost not required as she had paled significantly. “When you meet Freya’s parents, just treat them like you would any normal couple.”
“So just act normal, that’s your advice?”
“Yup, just ignore the fact they happen to be gorgeous, talented and more famous than God.” He dug his fangs into his lower lip to stop laughing as Jordan fidgeted nervously, “Oh and of course you just happen to be banging their only daughter.”
Jordan gulped audibly, “You know I think I liked you better with a merkin on your chin.”
They sat in comfortable silence as Dan navigated them through the streets of Beverly Hills towards Anna’s house on Bel Air Road.
“Where are we going? You’ve missed the turn for Freya’s,” Jordan frowned as she pointed back towards the opening.
Dan flashed her a grin and in a breathy southern accent announced, “Why darlin’ we is goi
ng a party in the big house.”
November 2011
It had been nine weeks since Freya’s unexpected outing. Nine weeks, during which the magazine article was published, Front Line’s season was in full swing, their first kiss had aired and they had filmed three and a half new episodes, which had progressed their on-screen relationship.
The irony of their characters keeping their relationship hidden from colleagues wasn’t lost on them as, in reality, keeping it hidden was almost killing them as it also meant that it had been nine weeks since they had been together. Aside from Halloween, they spent as much time with each other as they possibly could, without it becoming painfully obvious that there was something deeper to their relationship. Any opportunity for physical closeness during a scene was welcomed and they were nothing if not conscientious professionals when it came to rehearsing kiss scenes. However, despite all of that and some fairly heavy make-out sessions in trailers, they were finding it hard to maintain an aura of self-control around each other.
Freya sat at her spot for the table read waiting for her colleagues to join her. Her mind drifted from the chatter around her and her thoughts fluttered aimlessly until the noise of chairs scraping on the floor pulled her to consciousness. She smiled as the object of most of her thoughts sat down in her seat opposite.
The director of the episode started to read out from the script, “We open with the usual monologue. The first shot is Georgia in the changing rooms before entering the shower block.” The director smiled across at Belinda, the actress behind the show’s main character and the voice of the show and nodded for her to start.
“As doctors we are privy to a lot of secrets.”
The director interjected with the next shot, “We switch to Alice looking at a pregnancy test.”
Belinda continued, “Whether it’s a young girl who doesn’t want her parents to know about her pregnancy, or the inner workings of a family.”
“We switch to Damien reading a letter from home, scrunching it up and throwing it angrily across the room.”
Blake took a piece of paper from his pad, screwed it into a ball and threw it across the room towards Belinda.