by Alexa Davis
I thought I’d feel elated by that news: Ben was the problem, not me. Not Meghan. But I didn’t feel good at all. I felt sorry for the single mom left behind and the other poor child who would have to grow up without a father.
At least Meghan and I were well out of it in the city. I wouldn’t want him to come back for me in a rebound phase, and I certainly didn’t feel like I wanted to connect with the other woman left behind in Ben’s trail of destruction, or the child. Maybe in the future, if Meghan wanted to meet her half-brother or sister, but not now.
“That’s too bad.” I turned to give Mom a smile so she knew I wasn’t mad at her at all. “But I don’t ever want to talk about Ben again; he doesn’t deserve my words. He’s clearly worthless, that’s all there is to it.”
“You’re right.” She patted my hand lovingly. “Of course you’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s just enjoy the rest of your visit. It’s good to have you home.”
***
“Right, sweetheart,” I murmured quietly into Meghan’s ears as I carried her out of the elevator. “I’ll get you into bed in a moment. First I just want to check on Zack, see if he’s okay.”
It was easy to push it to one side when I was in a different state, but now that I was back, I couldn’t think of anything else. It was weird that I hadn’t heard from Zack in days. He didn’t return my call, he seemingly ignored my voicemail, and I hadn’t even had a text from him. That wasn’t like him at all, and it had me worried.
Maybe he was just trying to give me time with my parents, I tried to convince myself. I’m sure nothing’s wrong.
I rested Meghan’s half-sleeping body onto my hip to free up one of my hands so I could knock. I pounded on the door hard, growing excited about the possibility of seeing him again. I couldn’t deny it, I’d missed Zack. In a way, it would have been nice to have him with me at home this weekend.
Nothing. No one answered. It didn’t even sound like anyone was in. I was concerned, but I couldn’t exactly do anything about it now. Disappointment crushed me, but I needed to get Meg to bed. The more time she spent in my arms, the heavier she felt, and the last thing I wanted to do was drop her.
I carried my little girl inside and rested her on the bed. She was already snoring, exhausted from her crazy weekend, which gave me the time I needed to call Zack again. I desperately wanted to know what was going on in his life; I hoped I hadn’t missed anything dramatic.
Again the phone rang out. My lips curled downwards into a frown. Was he ignoring me? Had I done something to offend him?
“Hey, Zack, it’s me again. Erm, Olivia.” I sounded about as downtrodden as I felt. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m back in New York now, and that I’m all virus free. I guess… Well, I don’t know what’s going on with you, you must still be busy. Give me a call when you get this.”
Something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I had a cold, instinctive feeling that something was really wrong. The last time I saw Zack was when he was with his father, when we talked outside the apartment. Everything seemed okay then. I couldn’t think of anything that I’d done particularly wrong…
Unless it was when I kissed him on the cheek. Maybe he hadn’t told his dad about us, and maybe he felt embarrassed. Was it possible that he wanted to keep us a secret more than I did?
God, every single time I thought I had things worked out with me and Zack I got another curve ball! This time I had no idea what the hell was going on with Zack, and quite frankly I was a little pissed off that he wouldn’t just talk to me about things. I thought we were passed this now, I thought things were better.
Clearly not.
Chapter Thirty-One
Zack
Sunday
Fucking hell, I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.
Two days later and I still couldn’t get over it. I didn’t know what I was supposed to think. I’d been over it and over it in my mind, but still nothing made sense.
“Zack Taylor: Ex-Navy Seal, Billionaire Lottery Winner.”
The headline hadn’t changed, nor had the story, but that didn’t stop me from searching through it to find the answer I so desperately needed. After all the effort I went to conceal my identity, all the money I paid out to ensure I could keep my privacy because I never wanted any of my personal details to be revealed, and here I was, looking at the evidence of betrayal.
“…a source close to Mr. Taylor told us that he won the money just after leaving the military…”
A source close to me. That could only be one person: Olivia. The only other people who knew were Lark and my dad, and I knew for a fact they hadn’t done it. For one, they could’ve done it a long time ago if they wanted to; it was no coincidence this happened straight after me letting another person in, and for another I trusted them implicitly. They’d proved to me over and over again that they had my best interests at heart, and I had no reason to doubt that.
I’d thought that I could trust Olivia too, but clearly I was wrong about that one. That was what you got for putting too much trust into someone you didn’t know very well. I should’ve known better. I got too carried away.
Maybe once she learned about the money, dollar signs filled her eyes. She didn’t want to get the money from me because that would be too cliché, so she sold the story instead.
Maybe I couldn’t blame her; she did have a small child to support and no father in the picture. If she spent all her modeling money on the apartment, then maybe she found herself struggling. Childcare probably took a lot of her wages away, she probably didn’t have a lot.
Maybe betraying me was the only option she had… Not that it made it any better.
The only small mercy was that she’d kept Patrick’s name out of the papers. If anyone knew that I’d used numbers relating to him to obtain my winnings, I couldn’t have continued to live in the country. I’d have been forced out, and I never would have returned. The other positive was that my address hadn’t been revealed, and it didn’t seem that any journalists had been able to locate me yet, so I got to live in semi privacy.
They were the only positives, though; everything else was totally negative. The actually amount of money I won was published in the paper, stories about my time in the military with absolutely no fact behind them, even information about the injury to my leg which caused me to be honorably discharged from the Navy… It was all too much.
When I got lost in the bubble of only me reading it, it was bad enough, but every time it hit me that everyone in the whole damn city was reading the same thing, it left me breathless and sick.
Why would anyone do this to me? Why would Olivia do this to me? Even if she felt like she needed to, why would she lie so expertly? And, why the fuck was she still trying to be in my life?
I glanced over at my phone, seeing the light flashing to indicate that I had messages waiting to be read. All her, I was sure of it, but what could she possibly have to say to me? Why in any universe would she think that I would ever want to see her again? When she knocked on my door last night, I hid from her like a frightened mouse because I was too freaked out to see her. I’m not even ready to yell and scream at her yet, I haven’t gotten to that place.
Right now, I was just trying to adjust. There was no doubt in my mind that things were going to be very different from here on out. I wouldn’t be able to live in the way that I once had.
I didn’t know how to do that.
“Fuck it,” I muttered, chucking the paper to the ground. “Fuck, fuck, fuck it.”
I couldn’t keep staring at the page. I needed to do something; I had to burn off some of this pent up energy before I went stir crazy. Of course one of the things I could’ve done was go to see Olivia, but I wasn’t in the mood. What I needed to do was escape.
I grabbed my keys and stomped on the newspaper, leaving a footprint upon it as I walked outside. I slammed my apartment door shut with a bang and stomped down the stairs before anyone could come out to speak with
me.
I needed to get out of the stifling city and to my father’s home upstate. I hadn’t been much in the last few years – I could see what he meant about the reminder of Mom. He hadn’t changed it since her death.
I needed Mom’s presence around me today, though, so I was grateful for it.
***
“Hi, Dad, are you alright?” I asked him wearily as I staggered through his front door. The train journey wore me out more than I thought it would, and all I needed to do was relax. “Can I come in?”
“Of course.” As he stepped to one side, his sad eyes told me that he’d already seen the paper. He didn’t know how to address it, and to be honest, neither did I. I just wanted to forget all about it for a little while. “Come in. I think there’s an NFL game on, do you want a beer?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
I walked slowly into the front room, lightly brushing my fingers against the old photographs of Mom as I went. She was such a lovely woman, with keen common sense. If she was still alive today, she would know exactly what to do. She would’ve known what to do over the last few years of my life. I never would’ve been allowed to fall into such a deep, black cloud.
Dad and I were bumbling through life without her. “It’s nice to have you here,” Dad smiled as he handed me my drink. “It’s good to have one last drink together before I pack up and move completely.”
Urgh, in my moment of anger I’d almost forgotten that he was going through a massive life upheaval, too. It would be a positive move in the end, but it was going to be hard. “You know you don’t have to sell this place, don’t you?” I tried to reassure him. “If you want, you can split your time between both homes?”
“No, no, it’s for the best. This isn’t the sort of house that wants to sit around gathering dust.” He gave me a bright smile. “Our family made a lot of happy memories here, now it’s time for another family to do the same.”
An unexpected ball of emotion bubbled in my throat. All of a sudden, I didn’t totally feel ready to give up the last link to Mom that I had left. “Well, I’m gonna stay here tonight, if that’s okay? I want to say goodbye to my old bedroom.”
“Of course. It’s exactly the same; I haven’t changed it at all.”
I tried to recall what my old room looked like, but it had been such a long time. I could hardly recall the teenage version of myself that I once was. Maybe it’d be fun for a little trip down memory lane. It would certainly beat the shit storm I was currently in.
“Perfect, thank you.”
I slugged the beer back a little too quick, safe in the knowledge that I didn’t have to go anywhere else tonight.
I lay in bed a little later on, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling wondering how I ever used to sleep with them twinkling above me. After examining all my teenage posters and photos stuck to the walls, I realized that I couldn’t hide from who I was anymore. It was all well and good running out of the city, but it didn’t solve anything. I couldn’t escape my face being in the papers; I couldn’t get away from Olivia’s betrayal. Eventually, I was going to have to face it.
I couldn’t go back to being a teenager – I needed to tackle my adult problems head on.
***
As I stepped off the subway with a new surge of emotions, I grabbed a newspaper from the stand. I practically threw the money at the young guy sitting there before I flicked through the pages to search for my face. I wanted to know if the news was still talking about me. I needed to know if anything new had been reported. I wanted to be armed with all the information possible when I finally tackled Olivia.
Nothing.
My heart soared as it seemed the public had already grown bored of me. There mustn’t have been anything new to say and a whole lot going on the cities. I’d never been so glad to flick through stories of political scandals, home robberies, and the affair of a baseball player in my life. At least no one was talking about me.
I walked quickly, probably too fast for my leg, but I wasn’t thinking too much about the pain today. With the anger burning brightly, boiling hotly in my stomach, it was easy to forget about everything else. I moved until I got to the building, and I slammed angrily on the elevator button.
“This damn apartment building,” I growled to myself. “Nothing ever fucking works.”
I really needed to move – this was getting ridiculous now. I wasn’t sure what the hell was keeping me here. Now that everyone in the world knew about my damn money, maybe it was time for me to just start fucking spending it. Maybe it was time for me to get a fucking luxurious house worthy of a billionaire. It’d help me to escape Olivia, at any rate.
Her face had been in my mind all night long. I hadn’t slept well because of it, and that combined with the hangover I’d given myself with the beer, left me cranky and annoyed. Olivia was about to get a mouthful, that was for sure.
I forced myself up the stairs, and soon heard the rapid steps of a young person racing down the stairs. I stiffened, close to throwing up. As bad tempered as I felt, I couldn’t say anything in front of Meghan. There were loads of kids in this building, but somehow I knew it would be her.
“Hi, Zack!” she cried out as she ran past me. “I’m going to the zoo.”
Unfortunately – or maybe fortunately – it wasn’t Olivia with her. As Drea walked down the stairs with barely a nod in my direction, I knew Olivia was at work, which meant I was going to have to wait. It was going to be a long day of stewing, but I wouldn’t let another night pass without speaking with her. I needed to get this out in the open now. I needed closure if I was ever going to get past this.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Olivia
Monday
Something was wrong – I could just feel it in my bones. I knew what it was, of course. I had read the news. What I didn’t know was why Zack wouldn’t speak to me about it. I glanced down at the paper on my desk, feeling sick to my stomach as the words swirled around in front of my face again.
I tried calling him, but it went straight through to voicemail again. Why was he shutting himself off? Why wouldn’t Zack at least let me know that he was okay? He must’ve known that I was worried, why would he be that way about it?
A knock at the door brought me out of my thoughts.
Urgh God, and here was the other issue I had to deal with. The big boss, Mike, was in from head office. He wanted to know just how this branch was running, which would’ve been stressful enough without the fact that Ms. Simms had gone MIA. Of all the days not to show up to work, it just had to be this one.
“Come in,” I yelled while frantically cleaning up my desk. Nothing was really out of place, but nothing felt good enough today. It was as if none of us could do anything right. “Hi, Mike, how are things?” I tried to keep my tone warm but ice cold panic shot through my veins.
“What’s your name again?” I flinched, not used to his curt tone. I didn’t even need to answer him because he instantly kept on talking. “I mean, things look pretty good around here but I do have some questions. I’m not at all happy that your manager isn’t here. Could you please try calling her again? She isn’t picking up for me.”
Nervously, I picked up my cell phone and dialed her number. I would’ve much preferred to call her alone so I could warn her about everything going on, but that wasn’t possible and I didn’t want to piss Mike off further.
“She’s not picking up; do you want me to leave her a voicemail?”
Mike rolled his eyes and checked his watch. “No, there’s no point now. It’s almost the end of the day. I guess I’ll just have to come back again to discuss all of my questions with her.”
“Sure.” I gulped and dropped my cell phone with a clatter. “If I hear anything from her, I’ll get her to call you right away.”
“Yes, I would appreciate that, thank you.”
His eyes fell on the newspaper, and for one horrifying moment, I thought he might ask me something about it, but he didn’t. I was
not in the mood to explain that to him right now. In the end he just shook his head and huffed loudly.
“Thank you for being so helpful.” He pursed his lips together, clearly searching his brain for my name. He wasn’t going to find it – he didn’t even know it. “I suppose you have to go now. Goodbye.”
I let out a relieved breath as he shook my hand. At least for now work was done so I didn’t have to focus on that problem. I could concentrate on Zack, instead. I intended to see him tonight, whatever it took. Thinking about that was hard enough.
“Yeah, thanks, Mike. Goodbye.”
As soon as my office door closed behind him, I grabbed out my phone once more and fired off a text to Ms. Simms. I needed her to be prepared, even if I couldn’t speak to her directly. “Hey, it’s Olivia. Just wanted to let you know that Mike’s been in today. He’s concerned about you, and he wants to speak with you. He said the practice is running well, but he’s got some questions for you.”
There. I couldn’t do more than that. I’d tried, that was all that mattered.
“Oh my God!” All of a sudden, Tess burst through the door and she gave me a look of wide-eyed shock. “That was stressful, wasn’t it!”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Luckily, he’s gone now.”
“He’s pissed at ol’ Ms. Simms isn’t he? Where do you think she is today?”
“I don’t know, actually; it isn’t like her to be off is it? Sick, maybe? Family drama?”
“She usually phones in, though. I’m intrigued! I reckon she’s got herself a boy toy, and she’s spent all day having hot, raunchy sex with him.”
For a split second I thought about Lark before I shook that thought from my mind. No, there was no way that was happening. He was away, anyway, for some game competition I imagined. “You just jump to that conclusion because you spend most of your time having hot, raunchy sex. Ant has changed you.”