by Alexa Davis
Xander (Saturday)
I was still floating on air, flying higher than ever before.
Maybe Lila thought that was the sort of thing that I did all the time, but it wasn’t. Sleeping with her had been a crazy, spur of the moment thing, but I didn’t regret it one bit. Sure, the arguments for keeping away from Lila were still there in the back of mind, I hadn’t totally forgotten rationality, but we were good together. That magnetism constantly drew us in and made me feel like we were somehow meant to be.
God, look at me. I’ve gone all soppy, started thinking about fate, all because of an insane ten minutes in the studio.
If Michael knew what had happened, he would go crazy. He’d yell at me for not only mixing business and pleasure, but doing so in our place of work. I’d just have to ensure that he never discovered the truth. I might not be able to keep the whole relationship away from him, but I’d work to keep that part a secret.
With a grin and a whistle to myself, I gathered up all my belongings for the day and moved outside toward my car. Lila didn’t know that I was coming to see her today. I hadn’t made any formal plans with her, but I had told her that I wanted to see her before Monday, so I hoped that she’d be up for it. Maybe I should’ve called or texted her to see what she was up to, but the element of surprise felt like much more fun.
Lila was the sort of woman I wanted to keep on her toes. I wanted to ensure she still held interest in me.
As I drove along through the streets that had freaked me out a little before, I barely even noticed. I’d grown up in this sort of environment; it was where I could’ve felt at home. I only didn’t because I’d allowed myself to grow soft, to get used to the comforts that came with money. Admittedly, it did feel a little easier in my own car and in more casual clothes than cruising along in a limo. I didn’t even notice the gang of teens loitering on a street corner, acting as if they wanted to be menacing.
I pulled up and jumped out happily, still with a spring in my step. How could any of this be bad when it is making me feel so amazing? It’d been days and nothing had managed to dull my mood. It had to be real, my feelings had to run deep, and there was no argument against that! Even the complication of working together couldn’t get in the way.
I tapped on the door and pressed my ear up against it as I waited for Lila to answer. I had a feeling that she would be in, since she was supposedly resting, but I just wanted to confirm that. Someone was definitely home because I could hear music floating through, a melody I thought I recognized.
As the door swung open, I almost jumped backward, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, but in the end, it was Lila who looked like a rabbit caught in headlights, not me. “Oh... Xander.” She flushed red and pulled her robe tighter around her body. “I didn’t know you were coming today?” She cocked her head to one side, looking imploringly at me. “Did we... Did we have plans?”
“I just thought I’d surprise you.” Yep, maybe the shock part of it wasn’t my smartest idea. I knew she wasn’t feeling well, and I’d clearly disturbed her sleep. “I can... go if you want me to?”
Luckily for me, her eyes widened in disappointment. Even if she did make me go, I wouldn’t mind, because at least she’d wanted to see me. “No, no, you...” She glanced behind her, her mind clearly whirring as she tried to work out what to do next. “You come in. I’ll just go and get dressed. Kyle’s in the living room anyway, so... Yeah, you have someone to talk to.”
She didn’t look totally confident in that plan, so I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. I didn’t mind spending time with Kyle, I wanted to get to know him a little better. He was going to be the tough nut to crack, but I preferred to do it if we were going to work together. Also, it’d probably work better for me with Lila if he liked me.
I stood in the living room and watched Kyle play for a moment, as he drowned out the sounds of Lila crashing about in her bedroom. He had a real talent, one that I envied greatly. I knew enough to play, but as soon as I’d gotten into the recording business, I’d let that slide away. Watching him made me wish that I’d made the time to hone it more.
“You’re good,” I told him as he eventually came to a stop. “Amazing, actually.” I wanted to ask him how he’d managed to do it being shipped from home to home as a child, but I knew from Michael that the topic of foster care could be a tricky one. I didn’t want to step on any toes before I’d built a bond. “That’s a wonderful song; did you write it yourself?”
“Not really,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders modestly. “I got the music from a store, and I’ve been doing my best to make it my own.”
Ah, I thought I recognized the tune. “Do you mind showing me what you’ve been doing? Maybe there’s something I can help you with.”
“You play?” He seemed genuinely curious, instead of annoyed by my suggestion of help at all, which was good news.
“I do, but not as well as you.”
As I slid into the chair next to him, I felt like this was a good start, something we could build from.
***
Kyle and I got so wrapped up in the music that we didn’t end up leaving the house. I’d intended to take Lila out to lunch, spoil her a little, but the day ended up even better. She didn’t mind, she wasn’t well enough to get up off the couch much anyway, and she seemed to enjoy listening to us talking about music. She even joined in a little bit, when her voice would let her. I could tell that she was suffering, so this plan worked out well.
The rapport I built with Kyle was awesome, and the more time we spent together, the more he opened up to me. He became animated when talking about his music – it was his passion and that was wonderful to see. He was clearly an introverted character, but as I got to know him, I could also see that he was sweet and kind. Maybe he’d look out for Lila, but if anything real was to happen between us, I didn’t think I’d have too much issue.
I made Lila and Kyle some soup for lunch, and as we ate, I felt a real warmness deep inside. I had become much more accustomed to people with money and ego in the more recent years, so being with these two reminded me of my roots. They were a close-knit family, they looked out for one another, and I liked that. In the hell of having no one as they grew up, they’d stuck together.
“So, do you mind if I ask you a few things about the contract?” Kyle finally asked sheepishly. “I know that you wanted to do it with Michael originally, but I’m honestly interested to sign, I just want to check the parts I don’t get.”
“Of course.” I nodded with a big smile. “Michael is so eager to have you guys on board, he won’t mind if you speak to me about it.”
He grabbed the papers and pointed out clauses to me, which I clarified happily, and as we spoke, I kept finding my eyes drawn to Lila. This was it: us solidifying a future business contract together. Whatever happened between Lila and I, we’d be forced to spend time together, and I liked that plan a whole lot. I smiled at her secretly, and my heart pumped faster when she returned that look.
I felt like I was falling for her. Sure, it was crazy, and a little too quick, but how could I not? She was utterly perfect.
“So?” I wanted to lock things down now that we’d sorted everything out. “Do you think you guys might want to put pen to paper now?”
As they did it, as they signed the contract, potential flew through my mind. I could see things going incredibly well with us business wise, and I felt like things could get better for my personal life, too.
“Thank you,” Kyle announced happily, relief flooding his expression. “I appreciate it.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Lila interjected.
“So, would you guys like to record some more on Monday?” I asked cautiously, not sure if Lila would be ready by then. “If you’re better, of course?”
“Yeah, I’ll rest my voice until then. I should be okay.” She nodded, a little too determinedly, before bursting into another round of coughing.
“Have you been to the doctor?” I asked curiously, feeling a li
ttle concerned. If her throat didn’t feel better soon, she wouldn’t be able to record at all.
“Erm, no.” Her face flushed once more, humiliation burning through her. “We haven’t got any insurance, and we can’t afford it. It’s only a sore throat anyway, nothing to worry about. It’ll be gone soon enough. By Monday, I’m sure.”
For some reason, I didn’t share her confidence. “Okay, well, if things don’t improve, I’ll take you to the doctor.”
“No, you don’t have to.” She tried her best to insist, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“No, your voice is my business now.” I shook the contract at her. “I need it to be in top condition, so if it needs medical attention, that’s up to me.”
There wasn’t any way she could argue with that, so she smiled happily instead. “Okay, thank you. And thank you for coming by today; it’s been awesome.”
Kyle seemed to sense something going on. I wasn’t sure how much he knew about Lila and me, but he excused himself to the kitchen anyway. I stepped closer to Lila, feeling unsure of myself. I wanted to slip my hands into hers, I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn’t sure what she wanted. She was looking at me with a happy smile on her face, but that wasn’t enough to give me a clue.
I should’ve been more confident. I should’ve taken control the way I did when we were on the piano, but I wasn’t sure how to anymore. Lila had my legs wobbling like jelly, my mind flapping everywhere, my heart shaking. She made me feel like a school boy with a crush.
Luckily, she took the lead and hopped up on her toes to pull me in for a kiss in the adorable way she did the other day. As her lips met mine, that sense of hot happiness overcame me again.
“I had a nice day. Thank you for coming over,” she murmured happily. “It’s been great.”
“I’ve enjoyed it, too.” I smiled back. It might not have been as glamorous as the night at the restaurant, but it was just as nice. Better, perhaps. Any time with Lila was perfect for me, and now that the contract was signed, I was about to get a whole lot more of it. “I look forward to next time.”
“Monday,” she insisted, nodding sharply. “You’ll see me Monday morning.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lila (Sunday)
Typical. As I woke up on Sunday morning, feeling right as rain, I was more than a little pissed off. Of course, I wanted to be better – I needed to be for recording tomorrow – but I was disappointed about the way I’d missed out on a day with Xander. It was good for the business that he’d spent time with Kyle and that we’d finally got the contract signed, but I couldn’t help wishing that it’d been different.
I liked him a dangerous amount, but I didn’t even care. I was falling into a terrifying abyss. I could potentially get my heart broken, but I was in too deep to pull away. Even thinking about him made my heart melt and my chest swell. Whenever I was with him, I felt wonderful. Whenever I wasn’t, I missed him like crazy. I was in the first flush of something incredible, and I was buzzing the entire time.
“I feel so much better,” I announced proudly as I joined Kyle by the piano. He stopped playing and stared at me with almost as much happiness as I was feeling. “I’m finally over my cold. I can definitely record tomorrow.”
“Are you sure? We don’t want to push you too quickly.” He was only trying to take care of me, but it wasn’t needed. I knew exactly what I was doing, so to highlight my point, I burst into song.
“See?” I span on my heels and giggled afterward. “Perfect, tomorrow will run much smoother.”
As I moved into the kitchen and flicked the coffee pot on, I remembered the last time we were at the recording studio, when things hadn’t gone so well. I had been so annoyed by my lack of singing ability that day, I’d become so frustrated with myself. But in the end, it’d turned out to be the best day of my whole damn life.
However, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to face the studio room now, knowing what had happened in there. How would I be able to look at that piano in the same way, knowing what we’d done there? It was going to be difficult. Fun, though. I liked having a little naughty secret just for me.
Well, for me and Xander. How are we going to keep it a secret from everyone else?
“Xander’s awesome, you know,” Kyle announced as I set the coffee down in front of him. “His advice on changing the music to make it my own was fantastic. I didn’t know he played.”
“Oh, I did,” I replied absentmindedly, revealing far too much. I wasn’t even thinking, but of course that was going to leave Kyle with questions. Maybe I’d discovered it when we went out to dinner, maybe another time, but it would open a can of worms, at any rate.
“You did?” He stared at me, a million and one thoughts seemed to be racing through his mind. “Okay, I have to ask – what is going on? I’ve been trying to ignore it, trying to act like nothing’s happening, but there seems to be something between you two. Am I going nuts?”
I sighed deeply, finding myself forced into the conversation I wasn’t yet ready for. Deep down, I knew that Kyle knew and that he just wasn’t saying anything. I wanted it to stay that way for a little while longer, just until I knew for certain what was going on.
But it wasn’t fair of me to keep on pretending. He deserved to know; this affected him, too.
“You won’t be mad, will you?” I asked without daring to look at him. I was giving him my answer without saying anything, taking the coward’s way out.
He didn’t answer me, but he did shake his head a little sharply. I felt awful, guiltier than I had since all of this started. I sat down beside him and finally met his eyes. He deserved an explanation. It was so wrong of me to try and keep things from him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done anything, I shouldn’t have acted on my feelings, but I did. I just...” How can I explain this without totally humiliating myself? “I guess I just like him a lot.”
Too much... more than I care to admit.
Kyle threw his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, comforting me. “I get it, I do. I could sense something between you two the very first time you were in a room together. I am a little afraid that it’ll affect things between us, but if things have been going on for a while and nothing’s changed, then it must be okay. You just... be careful, okay?”
I nodded excitedly, taking some very personal relationship advice from my brother for the very first time. He never involved himself in what I did with my personal life, but I did know that he cared. “I will, I promise, and thank you.”
“We have some more news.” He stood up and moved across the room, changing the subject completely. “We got a letter this morning from the recording studio.”
“We did?” I had no idea what that could be about, so I jumped up to see whatever Kyle was holding in his hands. “What is it?”
“A check.”
He handed it to me, and I almost fell backward in surprise when I saw the amount. This was the most money that I’d ever earned in one shot... ever. “Oh, my God, are you serious?” I gasped, gripping onto my heart. “Is this for real?” This could help us a lot. This would solve everything... I couldn’t quite believe it.
“It might be time to finally hand your notice in at the diner.” He shrugged excitedly at me. “You can finally leave that awful job behind.”
“To be honest, they haven’t called me for a shift in almost a week anyway, so maybe I could just... not bother going to them anymore. It isn’t like I have a contract or anything anyway.”
What I didn’t want to admit aloud was that I feared just letting go. If I gave my backup away, I wouldn’t have anything to fall back on if it all went wrong. My hopes were high, I felt genuinely positive about everything... but I couldn’t totally give it up just yet.
“I think we should go out... again,” Kyle teased, nudging me. “Look at all this cash. We can pay all our outstanding stuff and still have enough for breakfast. This is us, finally living the high life.”
“Well, we can’t go
crazy.” I did my best to be sensible, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“We’re recording more tomorrow. We’ll have more money coming in. Come on, we’ve both been working so hard.”
“Oh, all right.” Was I so weak that I was giving in again? It seemed so. “I guess we haven’t officially celebrated signing the contract, anyway.” I still couldn’t believe Kyle had taken that brave step. I was so proud of him – of both of us. And, I was grateful to Xander for giving us that chance.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, we’d gotten lucky. We must have been good in a past life.
“You know, I was supposed to be going over to the orphanage this afternoon,” I told Kyle with a massive grin on my face. “But I wouldn’t want to pass on any germs. Maybe we should spend the rest of the day writing lyrics for the music you’ve created with Xander.”
I was eager to get started, happy to get going. I was better now, I felt good enough to sing, and I wanted to jump on that.
***
I fell into bed later that night with a big grin plastered across my face. I’d had an awesome lunch with my brother and an even better afternoon writing music. It was all coming together in the best way possible. The new song we had was awesome – even I could admit that it was going to turn some heads – and the fact that I was growing in confidence felt good, too.
Soon enough, we’d have an entire album ready to go, and that was when our lives would start. That was the moment everything was going to change for the better.
I grabbed hold of my cell phone and glanced at Xander’s number in my contact list with a grin on my face. I hadn’t yet used that number for anything other than business, but I wanted to. I wanted him to know that I was missing him.
Hey, I sent, not sure what else to say. I didn’t want to totally commit to going into the studio tomorrow, even though I knew that I could, just in case.
Hi, beautiful, I was just thinking about you.
Oh, God, he was thinking about me; that was so sweet. How was a man as gorgeous as Xander, with so much going for him, thinking about me? I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. Still, I wasn’t going to complain.