by Sam Destiny
“Devon, Kaden and Red didn’t know. Come to think about it, they probably were the only ones besides you who had no idea. They never understood why Colbin had tried to keep you away. But how about we go and meet your very first courtier?” Matt asked, trying to change the topic. He obviously thought he could find something to make her smile. She wasn’t sure though she had any smiles left in her.
She didn’t care about anything, not even the fact that she could help girls like herself: lost, alone, in need of support.
Following Matt through a house filled with rooms upon rooms no one used made her feel like she was a walking dead. There was nothing to hear besides their footsteps and even those she could only hear because she was a vampire. Hugging herself she wished that things were different.
“If no one knows where I am, then how will all those lost souls come to be here?” she wanted to know.
“Every female concentrating on you will be able to find you here. They’ll feel the draw, get a certain sense of direction so they know where to go. It’s really incredible what ancient magic hides in our race, my Queen,” she heard a voice she didn’t know. Since it was female, it must have been her first courtier. In other words, it wasn’t anyone she wanted to see.
Matt paused, waiting for her to acknowledge the girl, but Maya just kept on walking, deciding that this day was over. She didn’t feel like seeing what else was hiding in her castle of isolation.
“You could have at least said hi,” Ryder called, obviously angry with her, but she couldn’t care less.
“Maya, please,” Matt added, his voice full of desperation and she turned back to him, shaking her head.
“What, Matt? I think I need some time alone and I’m entitled to it, too. After all, you pretended to be my saviors only to lock me up, make me trust all of you and then brought me somewhere else to lock me up. If I would have known that this was waiting at the end of it all, I would have…” She trailed off, her vision blurred by tears.
“You would have what, sister? Died out there on the streets because you would have needed a vampire to turn you? Or worse, would have rotted in our mother’s cell?” Ryder asked and even though Maya knew that either of those could have been a very likely possibility, she knew as well though that at least then she would have been herself. She would have been able to make her own decisions and no matter where she had ended up, she would have had the last call. Now she was here, broken, because she still wanted to make it right for Jaden. He had been ready to sacrifice her for his race and it tore her apart, but she still couldn’t help but stay where she had been brought.
There was nothing she could do because running wouldn’t just mean hiding from her mother, but hiding from all the women of their race. If that courtier girl had been right, she’d be found, always and whenever. All they had to do was close their eyes and she’d show up on their radar. With an exasperated groan she rubbed the back of her neck, because for once she truly didn’t have anywhere to hide.
It was almost dawn and Colbin couldn’t ignore the noises in his house any longer. The doors had been sealed so people could get in, but no one would get out. It was Colbin’s admission to Jaden, who was home alone now, probably rightfully fearing the anger of his twin.
The warriors were in the gym, most likely beating the shit out of everything they found. That was if the sounds were any indicators for what went on.
He got up and Lara was almost instantly by his side. She was mad at both him and Jaden, but he had to love her just that bit more for still standing by his side.
She stayed silent as they made their way down the long hallways towards the gym. Stepping through the door Colbin had the feeling as if the warriors’ aggression built their very own wall inside the room.
“Oh, there you are, great leader,” Kaden snarled the moment he spotted him.
“Kade,” Devon warned quietly, trying to remind them whom they were talking to in spite of what they were thinking.
“Is it true? We won’t see her unless there’s an official function?” Red wanted to know and Colbin rubbed his chin. That tiny female had done a perfect job twisting them all around her finger. But then again, he had already known that.
“What did she do to convince you?” He had been wondering about that ever since she had been gone. Red turned away from him, walking a few steps before resting his hands on a treadmill.
“She was locked up. I could relate. And when I went to see her … she was all gentle and compassionate. She knew what I am and she wasn’t scared of me. She knew what I could do and she trusted me! That is more than I can say about you all most of the time,” he said barely hearable and Colbin stared at his back. He trusted the warrior, so why did Red think differently about that? Either way, that wasn’t really the topic of the talk.
“I’m sorry, Red, we … that’s not true. Anyways, this is tradition. The Queen never lived like anyone else among the warriors. She is not an ordinary Origin after all. Our circumstances might be extraordinary because you all know and love her, but that doesn’t change the rules. I’m honoring the way of our race, honoring tradition here and you should do the same,” Colbin explained.
“Fuck traditions! Did Jaden know? Forget that question. He’ll get her back and all this craziness will be over,” Kaden announced, turning to leave.
“The Morningstar warrior knew what he signed up for and he was fully on board with that,” Colbin said quietly.
“Is he, now? I cannot see him practicing with his fellow warriors as he usually is,” Lex remarked.
“Don’t you remember Lucas?” Red reminded them and Kaden bit back a growl. This seriously could escalade and Colbin knew it. Lucas had probably been close to Kaden’s best friend until he had met a woman … that female for him. Even though he had known that she would die, he still had been ready to live with her until then.
Colbin had forbidden that unit and even though back then Kaden had hated the decision, it was pretty obvious that only today he had come to realize what it really had meant for Lucas. It was as if Colbin could see the puzzle pieces click into place in his warrior’s head. Finally Kaden shook his head in disbelief. For a brief moment Colbin had to wonder if there wasn’t more than brotherly love hiding behind those seemingly ancient eyes.
“Lucas wasn’t happy with my decision and decided to leave out of his own free will. Same courtesy goes out to all of you,” Colbin remarked, holding his breath secretly.
It was clear on Kaden’s face that he debated about walking away, but obviously he had no idea where to go. Especially since he probably harbored even more anger towards his twin now.
“I knew that…” Colbin started, but just then Red pushed past him, clogging Colbin’s throat. He didn’t want anyone to walk away. He had counted on them to stay because they knew they belonged right where they were.
“This,” Red said, turning in the door, “is why Hellraise don’t live in groups. No one can tell you how to live your life and even though their life stories proceed a lot different than yours – ours – they seem to understand the basic need of being with the one you belong to. Get me back when Jaden is ready to fight with us again. Until then I am not on duty.”
To Colbin’s utter surprise he was only the first one to leave, being followed by Devon. “What he said. Minus the shite about Hellraise,” he explained before being out the door.
“I need to see Jaden. Make sure I can get out of the house, Colbin, or you won’t find one minute of silence all day,” Kaden growled, following the other two.
Colbin stared at Lex, the only warrior left and it broke his heart.
“You knew what would happen. Did you bother to tell Maya? Did you think about warning Jaden how terrible she’d take it? Or did you think maybe he’d change his mind? You of all people know how devoted Jaden is…” Colbin challenged. Lex was the only one of his warriors that he never knew how to take. He simply couldn’t predict his actions because not only was Lex motivated by his own thoughts, but by every
one else’s as well. Usually Colbin knew how to shield them, but especially in times of trouble and doubt he sometimes forgot.
Lex watched him in silence for a moment, making it pretty obvious that he was privy to Colbin’s thoughts and for once the leader didn’t care.
“Well, first I knew that Jaden had an idea about what would happen to Maya once she was turned. You deceived him nonetheless by knowing he’d fall in love and not mention that little detail to him. Someone else had to do that for you. Once he realized what he felt and decided to not do anything about it I stopped blaming you. From then on it no longer was your fault. But, as you already pointed out, Jaden is the most loyal to our race. I have a feeling no one else would have given up his Origin that easy, not even you. You caught Jaden in a time when he and Kaden were in a bad place and you know it. Jaden thinks he owes everything to you all. Lucky for you he was destined to meet the Queen,” Lex explained, watching his hands while speaking. It made it even harder for Colbin to read him, but still…
“What are you mad about then?” he wanted to know and when the warrior looked up this time, his grey eyes were sparkling with anger.
“You sent Ryder with her. She hates Ryder like no one else!” Lex threw up his arms in exasperation. “How could you? Shouldn’t you have sent someone she actually trusts and likes? She needs people supporting her right now, not a guy she absolutely resents for everything he did or didn’t do during her life.”
Colbin swallowed. It was rare that Lex was mad enough to lose his usually controlled calm. Right now he looked ready to punch something.
“He’s her family…” he started, but Lex just growled.
“Everyone would have been a better choice. You don’t seriously think she’ll let him into her room? What if someone attacks through the windows? Destra has a fucking wizard at her side. We don’t know what he’s capable of! Man, you can be glad I respect the hell out of Lara or I’d sure be happy to give you a taste of your own medicine … taking your Origin away from you!” Lex threatened and Colbin felt Lara take his hand. He knew it wasn’t because she feared Lex would make true, she just worried Colbin would tear Lex apart and chances for that were high. He wanted to punch Lex just for having thought about it.
“Bye, Lara,” Lex added after a few seconds of silence, shaking his head before he left as well. The moment he was gone Lara released Colbin’s hand again, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“We should all move. I mean that would be the best decision ever. We’d be around the Queen, Jaden would be happy, the boys would be happy and the house has more than enough room with all the underground chambers and places… Please, Colbin, that would solve all our problems,” she pleaded, but he just lowered his head, feeling her anger multiply again. She was thoroughly pissed and he knew that she would have told Maya everything if they had been bonded.
“I can’t decide that. I need to talk to the Circle before and…” She didn’t even hear him out, simply leaving him standing there, all by himself.
With all warriors gone the base was eerily silent and for the first time ever Colbin wondered if maybe they should have moved the boys together when the Warrior Order had collected. They wouldn’t have been able to run now and they’d get a chance to talk this out.
In the end though Colbin knew that there wasn’t much he could say until the warriors saw that their precious Maya actually was feeling okay and no matter how badly he wished that was something they could be shown, he knew it was impossible. The expression on the female’s face was burned into his mind and that sure hadn’t screamed joy at all.
Jaden stared at the ceiling, lying on the bed he and Maya had occupied when he had turned her. It was hard putting his feelings into words, especially because his feelings weren’t all he felt. Part of him was glad though that she had found some emotion, but he had never thought there’d be a chance to feel overwhelmed in a negative way. Maya had just proved him wrong. Between numb and overwhelmed he’d pick the latter each time because it meant all was not lost. Maya might be out of his reach right now, but she wasn’t dead to the world yet.
The front door fell closed and Jaden sat up. Kaden had obviously found out and Colbin had let him go.
It didn’t take long and his twin stood in his bedroom, seething with rage. “You didn’t bother to tell me? You don’t think I should have known?” he wanted to know, holding onto his daggers as if they were his lifeline. Jaden guessed that this hold was all that prevented Kaden from knocking him senseless.
“Why should I have told you? You were already attached to her the moment you saw her! And you wouldn’t have let her go if you would have known,” he snapped and Kaden stared at him. Problem was, that all the heat Jaden had expected to feel during this confrontation actually wasn’t there. He sounded empty, and frankly, he felt like it, too.
“I needed to watch over her because you wouldn’t! You were too damn afraid that you could fall in love with her! She’s everything to me and you just handed her off,” Kaden screamed. In no time Jaden was nose to nose with his twin.
“She is everything to me, Kaden. She’s my Origin. For you she merely is the little sister we both could never have. She is my every breath,” he replied and he knew it was true. As much as he had been trying to tell himself that the emptiness in him was just evolution, a bond he hadn’t wanted, it was a lie. He loved her, needed her and wanted to be close to her. He needed to see her face so he knew she was okay. He needed it to see that he, too, was okay.
“If she would have meant anything to you we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now. You don’t know what you talk about because if you’d loved her the way I thought you did, you wouldn’t have allowed for anyone to take her away. We won’t be able to find her court because we don’t belong there. I cannot even go and see her. She must think we all knew, but it’s not true. I didn’t know. Instead Matt and Ryder are with her… Matt, who betrayed her just as much as you did, and Ryder, whom she isn’t even talking to. But he’s blood, that’s why he’s there. Guess what? You should be there. She’s your blood now, too! Did she know? Before you turned her, did you bother to tell her that this was the last she’d see of you for a long while?” Kaden demanded to know, but obviously the expression on Jaden’s face said it all. “Have you been that good at lying to yourself or are you just that much of a bastard? I wish I had met her first. I wish she had been my Origin. I would have never let her go!”
Kaden turned away, but not before Jaden saw the utter disappointment in his twin’s eyes. He told himself to let Kaden go because he didn’t care about his opinion, but that was just another lie his heart refused to believe.
“It’s tradition, Kade! You would have had to let her go as well. You can’t go against our race,” he explained, sounding as beat as he felt, while the bond now poured only betrayal towards him. She obviously had gotten a chance to think about it all and realize that it wasn’t just him, but the whole order that had kept this from her.
He could picture that almost too well, her sitting on her bed or standing at the window staring at everything, seeing nothing while she wondered if she meant that little to him.
“Fuck traditions! I would have tried,” Kaden called from downstairs and Jaden stood at the parapet, looking down on his twin who knelt in front of the fireplace. He was just staring into the darkness and Jaden knew he simply couldn’t sort his thoughts out, feeling just as betrayed by Jaden’s secret as Maya was. It was what he’d feel, too. Sometimes the twins simply were too similar.
“I think she wanted you to be it, too,” Jaden finally admitted, seeing his brother freeze. Maya hadn’t exactly told him, but there was no doubt about the warmth she felt whenever she talked about Kaden.
“That’s not true, Jaden. She wanted you to be it. She hoped you’d just change your mind and walk in, sweeping her off her feet and proving to her that his whole Origin business was not a burden to you. I thought you finally were there, at exactly that point. Turned out I was wrong.
You sure are an amazing actor, Jaden,” Kaden replied, his voice quiet. As much as Jaden loved hearing that Maya never wanted anyone else, he wasn’t sure she’d had much choice. That thought scared him suddenly more than everything else. What if she would have been happier with someone else? What if she had never chosen him if the bond wouldn’t have linked them?
He shook his head, knowing that he wouldn’t have given her the chance to prove she was the one for him if the order wouldn’t have placed her in his care. Hell, even with her clearly having been made for him he had tried to walk away and find others. He needed to focus on something else or this circle of thoughts would kill him because he would start doubting her feelings for him.
“You wanna go, hang out in a bar and get a drink?” Jaden asked. He knew he couldn’t get drunk that easy, but a guy could dream, right?
“I ain’t going anywhere with you,” Kaden replied, his time in the New York back alleys always impacting his speech when he was the most emotional.
“You can’t hate me forever, Kaden. You are my brother,” Jaden whispered, thinking that he could use some soothing words, too. Would it be so hard for his twin to try and see his side of things?
“I sure can try. This stuff, our rules are thousands of years old. We are in the twenty-first century. Maybe it’s time to change our traditions,” Kaden told him, obviously being set on making him more miserable. How often had those exact words been repeated over the last weeks?
“I promised Colbin that I would help the new generation and turn their Queen. In that I honored traditions, but when I swore to him out of duty’s sake, I couldn’t have known how much she’d come to mean to me.”