Her eyes widened in surprise before she replied, ‘No matter how much refusing you might damage your career?’ Then, flushing, she said, ‘Mortifying as it is to realise I was not concealing my unease as well as I thought, neither is there any point pretending I don’t know what you mean. After thinking of little else the whole of the journey, I do have some...reservations.’
‘Please, sit,’ he said, waving her to a chair, more than a little dismayed to know she had reservations about taking him as a husband.
‘I do hate being cooped up in a coach. It’s what I so disliked about London during my Seasons—being trapped in a crowd of people, the din of voices, the heat, the overpowering scent of perfume and wine and humanity. Add to that, hearing nothing around me but boring conversation about fashion or jewels or the latest scandal and all I wanted to do was escape.’
She gave a strained chuckle. ‘Not the best reaction, you must agree, for the wife of a politician who spends most of his evenings at political dinners. I know we said we would each pursue our own interests after marriage, but I expect I would need to be present for a few functions. I wouldn’t want you to have a wife who looked either bored, or desperate to escape. Then there are your friends and their wives. Lady Lyndlington is a skilled political hostess and I’m sure the Duchess is equally knowledgeable. My education has been...uneven at best. I’m about as prepared to hold my own at table with ladies like that as Aldermont’s gamekeeper.
‘No, please, hear me out,’ she said, raising a hand to silence the reassurance he’d been about to give. ‘Papa saw no reason to waste money on a governess to instruct me in anything as useless as languages or music...since the chief duty of an aristocrat’s wife is to run his house and give him sons. Oh, I’ve taught myself French and Latin and a smattering of history and literature. But what an embarrassment it was during my Seasons, when all the young ladies were called upon to play or sing, and I had to confess I couldn’t even manage a scale! I’m afraid you will soon discover that my education has been extremely deficient. With the exception of a substantial dowry, I offer nothing of advantage to a man in your position. Which, I cannot help but think, makes me a very poor bargain of a wife. Are you sure that refraining from wedding me would be more detrimental to your career that taking so ill prepared a bride?’
Her words sparked one last, brief hope that they might avoid a forced marriage. Reality quickly extinguished it. Unless she was truly averse to marrying him, marry they must.
Though she’d presented her reservations about wedlock as concern for what the bargain meant for him, he knew that couldn’t be the sole reason behind her reserve. ‘I appreciate your concern for my well-being. But what about you? How would you gain access to your money and gain your independence, if we don’t wed? Setting off precisely the scandal your papa thought to avoid is unlikely to persuade him to grant you the funds. Nor could I reconcile it with my conscience to see you forced back under the control of...the man he has shown himself to be.’
‘I’ve no intention of returning to my father’s house,’ she assured him. ‘I will receive the money in any event, upon his eventual demise. Perhaps in the interim, I could obtain an advance on the expectation, enough to maintain myself until that happy event? Or maybe I could hire myself out as a gamekeeper. A job for which I am much better suited than becoming a politician’s wife.’
The doubt he’d been suppressing fought its way free, bringing with it an anguish he’d spent years trying to bury. ‘Is the prospect of marrying the Chilford Bastard that distasteful?’
‘No, of course not! How could you think such a thing?’ she said at once, her protest so vehement, he could not doubt its sincerity. ‘It is I who would not be an embarrassment to you!’
Mollified, he forced the suspicion back deep, where he trapped all memory of feeling outcast and inadequate. ‘You would never be that. Do you suspect I’ll not allow you unlimited use of your money, once we are wed?’
‘No! I don’t believe you would try to cheat me out of it.’
‘Or that I would limit your freedom of movement, insist on your remaining in London when you wished to travel and sketch?’
‘N-no, not really,’ she admitted.
‘Then what is the real reason for your hesitation? Do you not believe my promise to...refrain from touching you, unless you invite me?’
She hesitated, her lack of immediate denial bringing a frown to his face. Seeing his expression, she added hastily, ‘Oh, yes, I believe you about that!’
‘Then what?’
After another moment of silence, she gave a twisted smile. ‘I’m not so sure I trust myself to resist, if you try to...beguile me.’
Irrationally, he felt enormously relieved to confirm his instincts were correct and it was her doubts over whether she could resist him, rather than a lack of attraction, that caused her distress. Though that affirmation made him want her even more, he didn’t mean to trick or drag her, unwilling, into acquiescence.
No, he wanted her warm and willing and actively pursuing him.
‘Would you believe me if I gave you another promise?’
She met his serious gaze. ‘I...suppose I would.’
‘Then believe this: I promise I will not try to “beguile” you. What I would like to do is re-establish the rapport we had at our meetings at Dornton. If we can recapture that ease, would it set your worries at rest?’
The sudden lightening of her expression told him he’d hit upon the right response. The brilliance of the smile that followed lit those magnificent eyes, sparking a jolt of desire even as it set off a curious little ache in his chest.
‘I would very much like to recapture the camaraderie we had at Dornton! If we could and you truly aren’t having second thoughts about what a poor choice of a wife I’d be, I think I can...move forward.’
Reassured by that response, he nodded. ‘I still believe marriage is the best solution for us both. As I mentioned before, Lady Lyndlington can hostess any necessary political gatherings; you’d need not attend them, unless you chose to. Nor should you worry over your reception by my friends; they will have only admiration for a lady of your intelligence and talent. So if your reservations are mostly on my behalf, you can forget them. Wedding you is a good bargain I am happy to make.’
‘You’re sure?’ she asked, studying his face.
‘I am. We are agreed, then?’ he asked, holding out his hand.
Tentatively, those mesmerising eyes on his face, she offered hers in return.
Though his body protested, urging beguilement, he made himself give her a quick, businesslike handshake. Though even that brief touch sent a zing of connection through him.
How he wished he could have held on and caressed the softness of her fingers! Leaned down to kiss her, his thumb resting at her wrist. Would he feel her pulse beating as erratically as his?
Sometimes patience and abstinence were the best aphrodisiacs, he told himself. If he ever possessed her, it must be because she chose to give herself to him. And to make that choice, she would have to be convinced he desired only what she wanted and trust that yielding to him would bring only pleasure. It would not threaten her fragile new freedom or prevent her from doing what she most wanted to do.
Having a friend for a wife was better than a wild but resistant lover who came to him fearing that succumbing to their attraction would mean losing control over who she was.
Although the connection—immediate, automatic, powerful—that flared at every glancing touch argued that the passion between them could never be bottled up into something as tame as ‘friendship’.
His fingers still tingling in the aftershock of that brief handshake, Ben forced himself to sit back, reach for his wine glass and take a sip. His body might not like it, but he would forbid himself to try to entice her. What they could—would—eventually share would be well worth the
wait.
Since he couldn’t eradicate the sensual connection, he’d better concentrate on trying to recapture the ease and build trust. The best way to do that was to ensure she had the means to be independent as soon as possible.
Tomorrow, he would take her to visit the solicitor.
‘I’m glad that’s settled. After riding so far, you must be as tired as your mother. Finish your wine; I’ll send that maid to you on my way out.’
‘Thank you, I’d appreciate that.’
After draining his glass, Ben said, ‘If it can be arranged, I intend to visit your father’s solicitor tomorrow. Would you like to accompany me?’
Looking surprised by the offer, she nodded. ‘Yes, I would.’
‘I want you to be familiar with every detail of how your money is to be handled. You should know the total and begin to plan how you intend to use, or invest it. I imagine the solicitor will have recommendations.’
He could almost see some of the tension within her easing. ‘You’re right, I need to plan. We’re already approaching winter and there are a number of birds in outlying counties I haven’t yet been able to sketch. Some of them are migratory; if I want to include all the sketches required to make the collection complete by the publisher’s deadline, I’ll need to find them and capture their images before they leave the winter feeding grounds.’
Ben nodded. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’
He rose and walked out, reassured—but still troubled. Happy as he was to know that Lyssa would work with him to restore the rapport between them, he was more uncertain now than he wanted to admit about the inevitability of her eventually yielding to him. He didn’t need her money, wasn’t concerned about her reluctance to play hostess and not worried at all about her being an embarrassment to him—he was certain she would fascinate his friends as much as she did him.
The only thing more miserable than being trapped in wedlock with a female who couldn’t bear his company would be marriage to a seductive friend for whom he must lust for in vain for the rest of his life. Somehow—without enticing—he had to convince Alyssa to embrace the passion between them.
* * *
The next afternoon, Ben stood at his mirror, putting the finishing touches on his cravat. He’d had his batman visit the solicitor early that morning to obtain an appointment, then confirmed by an exchange of notes with Lady Alyssa that she would be available to accompany him. He’d leave for Queen Street shortly to collect her.
And take the first step in the campaign to win her trust.
With Giles and Maggie still away, he’d had all of last evening to ponder the best way of beguiling without beguiling and had hit upon a scheme he thought just might work.
If he could create the proper atmosphere, while resisting the urgent need to take advantage of it. But if letting her beguile herself were the surest path to eventual fulfilment, he’d make himself resist—somehow.
* * *
After taking a carriage for the short drive to Queen Street, Ben was pleased—though not surprised—to find Lady Alyssa ready and waiting for him. He escorted her to the carriage, handed her up—careful not to let his hands linger—and gave the driver instructions to their destination.
Seating himself on the forward bench opposite, rather than beside her, he said, ‘Have you any idea how your funds were disposed—according to the terms of your aunt’s will? Or as a bequest during her lifetime?’ At Lady Alyssa’s raised eyebrows, he said, ‘During my years in India, I read law with one of the John Company barristers. An interesting way to pass the time, and with my future uncertain, I figured acquiring a contact who might recommend me to study at the Inns of Court could be useful, if I should some day need to pursue an occupation.’
‘This, during the hours when you were not skulking about in disguise, ferreting out information for the army?’
‘One can’t spend all one’s time skulking and ferreting,’ he replied with a grin. ‘Sadly, one must occasionally wear a regular uniform. Studying at the barrister’s office was much more entertaining than participating in endless drills in the hot sun. As it turns out, arguing points of law with Jeffries was good preparation for the debates that make up much of a parliamentarian’s life.’
She shook her head. ‘Do you also tame lions? Summon snakes out of baskets?’
‘No lions and I only flush out snakes of the two-legged variety,’ he replied, sobering as he recalled the curs who had tried to ruin her.
‘Like Lord Denbry,’ she said, seeming to read his thoughts. ‘Sorry, but I have no idea how the funds were left; certainly my father never thought it necessary to enlighten me.’
‘Your father’s solicitor should have all the details. Though it would have been useful to have some knowledge of them before meeting him.’
‘Do you think he will create difficulties?’
‘He will be expecting your future husband, or his solicitor, to enquire about the funds allocated to you. He probably will not, however, be anticipating what we want done with your great-aunt’s bequest.’
‘Signing it over to me?’
‘Exactly. Don’t be offended if he strongly advises against that. I expect he’s met very few women who wish to handle their own funds.’
‘And even fewer husbands who would allow their wives to do so.’ Gazing up at him, she said softly, ‘Thank you, Ben Tawny. For being the exceptional man you are.’
Smiling faintly, he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. When, mindful of his resolve, he would have pulled away, she held on, still gazing into his eyes.
He was acutely aware of her gloved fingers on his, their pressure sparking a warmth that seemed to flow through him, heating his blood, settling in his loins. She took a little breath and angled her chin up, as if inviting his kiss.
It took all the will he could muster to gently pull his fingers free, when all he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and press her to him as he gave her the kiss for which she seemed to be asking.
But when—if—he kissed her, the invitation would have to be much more plain. Nor did he plan to grant such a request until after he’d turned her away often enough to make her as eager—and frustrated—as he was.
By now, the carriage was slowing. Trying to shake himself free of the sensual spell, Ben sprang out as soon as it stopped and handed her down with businesslike efficiency—which, her expression told him, both confused and frustrated her.
You must figure out what you want...and be absolutely sure you want it, he thought as he escorted her into the office.
A clerk ushered them into Mr Chambers’s private domain. ‘Mr Tawny!’ the solicitor said, rising from behind his desk to offer a handshake. ‘Lord Aldermont wrote that you would be consulting me. And... Lady Alyssa?’ he asked, with a puzzled glance at the female who had just invaded his office.
‘Yes, I’m Lady Alyssa. I don’t believe we’ve met. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir.’
‘The pleasure is mine, my lady,’ he said, bowing. ‘There was no need to inconvenience yourself, coming to my office! It has been my privilege to serve your noble father for many years and I hope to serve your future husband as well. You, sir, will be wanting to know about the settlements,’ Chambers said, inclining his head towards Ben. ‘Shall we set a meeting to discuss them with your solicitor?’
‘No, I prefer to discuss them with you directly.’
‘As you wish, Mr Tawny. Lady Alyssa, may I invite you to a seat in my study? Lawler will be happy to escort you there and bring you refreshment while your intended and I conduct our business.’
Before he could summon his subordinate, Ben said, ‘We prefer that Lady Alyssa remain. We wish to have the bequest left to her by her Aunt Augusta transferred into a fund for her use, so it would be helpful for her to know how it was left and the new arrangements for accessi
ng it.’
Obviously surprised, the solicitor stared at Ben. Belatedly realising his hesitation might be considered disrespectful by his soon-to-be very wealthy prospective client, he stammered, ‘I-if that is what you wish, Mr Tawny. Please, won’t you be seated?’ He waved them to the pair of armchairs. ‘Although I fear Lady Alyssa may find the legal discussion rather tedious.’
He doesn’t believe she’ll understand it, he thought. Giving Ben an exasperated glance that said she’d interpreted the solicitor’s comment in the same way, Lyssa said drily, ‘I shall attempt to remain awake, sir.’
Oblivious to her ironic tone, Chambers continued, ‘Shall we discuss the bequest first, Mr Tawny? You want the funds transferred into an account upon which your future wife will be allowed to draw. Unless you anticipate that your duties will require you to travel extensively outside the city while your wife remains in London, I can envision few instances when you would be unable to obtain funds for her. Unless there are unusual circumstances, I recommend that the account be drawn up in your name only.’
‘Circumstances are unusual,’ Ben replied. ‘It is my bride who will often be travelling, while I discharge my duties here in Parliament. We wish the bequest left to her by her Aunt Augusta to be placed in an account in Lady Alyssa’s name only.’
‘In her name only?’ the solicitor repeated. ‘Surely her aunt did not intend the funds to be used in such a manner! Bequests left to female relations are normally included with the rest of the lady’s assets, dispensed as set out in the settlements into dowries for daughters, stipends for minor sons and a widow’s portion, all the funds administered after marriage by her husband.’
‘I’m sure that is correct,’ Ben said patiently. ‘However, we do not wish to use the bequest in that fashion. We want the funds deposited into an account in Lady Alyssa’s name, for her sole use.’
‘But...if the account is thus construed, you would not be able to access it, even after you become her legal husband. Or to impose any control whatsoever over the way the money is used!’
Convenient Proposal to the Lady Page 12