by Kitty Parker
When he walked out onto the porch, he noticed immediately that he wasn't alone. His father was sitting in his chair, newspaper in hand, reading quietly. Parker didn't want to disturb, so he took a chair on the opposite side, and looked out in the garden, hoping to find some peace amidst his turmoil and confusion. The silence only lasted a moment, his father being ever perceptive.
"Something wrong, Park?" he asked with the crinkle of paper. When Parker looked up at him, he was already folding his paper and setting it on the table beside him. Parker remained quiet, not quite sure how to answer. Something was certainly wrong, but he didn't know if he wanted to talk about it just now. "You know you can't fool me, I know that look. There's something wrong. You can either talk about it, or decide not to. Just answer me this, are you okay?"
Parker gave a half laugh. How like his father, to only care if he was okay. "I'm fine, a little crushed but fine."
"Tessa?"
"You got it."
Eli threw a hand through his hair and let out a labored sigh, "Tell me you didn't tell her you love her."
"I didn't, I promise," Parker defended.
"Good! I thought you understood me when we talked the other day, I got a little nervous for a minute."
"No, I understood you. I was fine taking things slow. I just like to be around her, to help her and comfort her."
"So, what's the problem?"
Parker stood, throwing his hands into his pockets. "I came home for lunch, and was about to get Tessa from the parlor. She and Jules are usually in the parlor in the morning, so I thought I'd wheel her to the dining room. Before I entered, I heard her say something that has me...shaken."
Eli's brow rumpled with concern, "Is she alright? Did something else happen we didn't know about?"
"No, nothing like that, she just said...that she has no intention of falling in love."
Eli laughed out loud, which confused Parker more than comforted him. Eli was laughing so hard that he could hardly control himself. Parker just stared at him strangely, not knowing what he had said that was so funny. "I'm sorry, son, I don't mean to laugh. It's just, Tessa reminds me so much of your mother. Audra never intended to fall in love either."
"Yea, but it wasn't that she had anything against you, she was just dedicated to Winchester."
"I know, but you don't know that Tessa has anything against you. She made one statement, to your sister, which you happened to overhear. I'm sure she thinks her dedication belongs to those sisters and brother of hers. You know she's been through an awful lot with them. She doesn't know what love or marriage would do to that," Eli reasoned.
"Yea, I guess," Parker sighed, pulling his hand from his pocket. He let it land on the porch's railing. Picking it up with a slide, he gasped in pain. After closer inspection, he realized that he had a splinter in his hand. "I haven't had a splinter since I was sixteen!"
"Why don't you get Tessa to look at it for you?"
"Come on, Dad, it's not that bad. I'll just go get my tweezers."
Eli slapped a hand on Parker's shoulder, "Park, you've got some things to learn. Let Tessa take care of that splinter. She'd be happy to help you, and you'd get some extra time with her. It's always nice to have a lady take care of you."
"But, Dad, you heard what she said," Parker said, discouraged.
"Parker, your aunt Olivia told me when I first started coming around that your mother wasn't interested in love or marriage. But, I knew she was it for me. I wasn't even in love with her yet, but everything about her intrigued me. The way she laughed, the way she cared for you, the way she dedicated all of her time to Winchester. I knew there wasn't another girl in all of Chicago like her. They were all so concerned with hats, and dresses, and gloves, and fans. Oh, Park, women with fans, they were terrible! I've lost my thought, what was I saying?"
Parker laughed, this was happening more and more with his dad lately. "You were saying that Momma didn't want to marry anyone and wasn't interested in love, but you knew she was it for you."
"Ah, yes. So I took a more subtle approach. No sudden moves or declarations, I just became her friend. I listened when she talked, I was there when she needed help, I laughed when she did. Then, I asked her to marry me a little too soon, which, I wouldn't recommend doing, and scared your mother away for a little while."
"Dad, I really appreciate your insight, but I don't have an orphan boy to adopt in order to trick Tessa into marrying me," Parker said with a serious tone.
Eli swatted him, "You know I didn't trick her. She would have married me anyway. Haven't you noticed, she loves me?
"I was just kidding, Dad."
"So, now that I've given my expertise go and have that girl look at your hand!" Eli pushed him through the back door, making Parker feel like a ten year old again.
Parker wandered through the house, holding his own hand to keep it from brushing against anything. He entered the parlor, where Tessa and Julia were still talking and giggling away. It was nice to see Julia with someone to talk to. She didn't quite fit in with the other well off girls of their neighborhood, probably because Julia didn't hold much stock in wealth. As he entered, they stopped their chatter, immediately. Tessa smiled at him brightly, making him forget about all the comment he heard earlier.
"Good afternoon, ladies."
"Is something wrong with your hand?" Tessa asked instantly. She was very perceptive, he had to credit her for that.
"I managed to get a splinter while I was on the porch," he answered with a foolish smile.
"Oh! Let me help you. Come here."
Parker obliged, sitting on the end of the sofa that held his sister. He pulled Tessa's chair closer to him, as she took the thread from her needle. She took his hand with her left hand, which she couldn't move very much, due to the broken clavicle. Her touch was gentle, and she brushed a finger where the splinter was embedded.
"Julia, could you get some witch hazel for me?"
"Of course, I'll be just a second."
Tessa nodded, but kept her eyes on the splinter. Parker watched her hair flood around her face as she worked. With careful moves, she pressed the needle to the spot. Every move she made was so delicate and calculated that he didn't even flinch. Carefully, she worked the splinter up in his palm. Eventually, she managed to get the tip above the surface. With her fingernails, she gripped the top of the small piece of wood and pulled it free. Parker was amazed at how effortless it all was, and how little pain he experienced. He remembered hating getting splinters out when he was a boy. If he had gone to find his tweezers in the office, he surely would have had a bloody gouge in his palm, despite his excellent hand, eye coordination.
"Thank you, Tessa. I didn't feel a thing," he smiled, flexing his hand.
She gripped it back with force, "I'm not finished yet. And, I've had a lot of practice with splinters. Luke and Emma are always getting them. I think it's because they're always crawling around."
Julia hurried back into the room, witch hazel and cotton in hand. Tessa laid Parkers hand in her lap as she unscrewed the bottle and poured some onto the cotton. She brushed the liquid over his wound and blew gently on the spot, anticipating the sting that always followed witch hazel. Parker couldn't take her eyes off of her. She was so tender and caring, the perfect mother. He knew what happened to her own parents was a tragedy, but he also knew that her siblings were in good hands.
"Thanks, Tess," Parker said, flexing his hand when she finished. "I would have dug so much of my hand out I probably would have needed to give myself stitches."
"I was happy to do it, Park. All it takes is a little patience. Luke and Emma won't even let me near their splinters unless they're sure it won't hurt. It's taken me an awful lot of practice."
"They're lucky to have you, and so are we," he smiled genuinely. His smile only brightened when he noticed her cheeks turn a dull shade of pink. Perhaps the fact that he could make her blush gave him some kind of hope that her statement about love wasn't entirely true.
&nbs
p; Chapter 18
Tessa sighed restlessly as she sat in her wheel chair. Her arm was feeling so much better, she could almost elevate it over hear head now, something she hadn't been able to do in almost a month. Of course, she was still confined to the chair when she wasn't in her bed, it seemed her leg would prove a great deal more difficult where healing was concerned. According to Parker, Jerry had broken it in several places, and quite badly each time. She was beginning to get sick of the chair, but at least now she could sort of wheel herself around.
She wrung her hands nervously; next week was Sadie's thirteenth birthday. Tessa remembered turning thirteen, her mother and father had made it such a special occasion. They had gotten a sitter for Sadie, who was just barely one, and went to see a movie. Afterward, they had lunch at a beautiful restaurant, and presented Tessa with the most beautiful locket she had ever seen. Today, it was the only piece of her old life that still remained. The delicate gold chain still kept its place around her neck. She never took it off, afraid she would loose it somewhere.
Now, she wished it housed a picture of her parents, smiling and laughing as they had before that horrible Tuesday so many years ago. Her mother had insisted that no picture should go inside of it until Tessa had found the man of her dreams. For some time now she was convinced that her locket would remain empty. That wasn't really important at the moment. All she cared about now was finding a way to make Sadie's day as special as hers had been 12 years ago.
She was so consumed with her thoughts that she didn't hear anyone enter the parlor. "You look deep in thought. Care to share?" Parker asked, sitting beside her in an arm chair.
"Oh!" she shook her head, startled. "I didn't even hear you."
"I figured, so, do you want to talk about it?"
"It's not really important. Talking about it won't change anything," she said heavily.
"That might be true, but it sure might make you feel better," he reasoned. He scooched up on his chair, looking straight at her. She could see his sincerity, and knew he was just trying to be a friend. His friendship was something she had come to value. There was something about this man that made her trust him, even after everything she had been through with her father and Jerry Poteck.
With a sigh, she gave in, "Next week is Sadie's birthday. She'll be thirteen. I remember turning thirteen, my parents made such a big deal out of it. I don't have anything to give her, and I don't have money to get her anything. I'm sure your mother would let me bake something, but I feel like that's hardly enough. I don't know how long this depression will last, but I'm hoping it won't be forever. I don't want Sadie to think back on such a special day and remember it to be as dull and bland as the past three years."
"Well, talking to me was definitely the right choice! Let's go get her something special. Then we can talk about what we can do for her actual birthday. You might be able to make over one of Lizzy's dresses so she has something special to wear. I know Lizzy wouldn't mind, she just adores Sadie. We can talk to my mom; she'd do anything for that girl. I'm sure we can get a cake together, and a special dinner. What is Sadie's favorite food?"
Tessa shook her head, confused and upset. "No! I didn't mean to make you feel bad for us. I wasn't trying to manipulate you into spending more money on us. You have done far too much for us already! I can't do anything for you. I'm stuck in this chair, day in and day out. I can't even care for Emma the way I'm used to. Your mother is chasing after her and Lucas like they're her own. I feel terribly guilty and don't need any other reason to feel so."
Parker looked hurt by her speech. She hadn't meant to make him feel bad, but she couldn't be in any more debt to these people. He remained silent for a moment, and she started to fear that she had ruined her relationship with him. As she watched him, his face calmed, and he looked at her with concern. "Tess, we're not helping you because we want something in return, and we're not helping you because we expect you to pay us back. Tessa, you and your family have become very important to us, all of us. God has blessed us with enough to keep our footing during this time, but not just that, He's given us more than we need. He's given us enough to help your family. I don't want you to think we're trying to buy your love and loyalty like Jerry Poteck was doing."
Tessa hung her head in shame. How could she think the Sullivan's were trying to do the same thing Jerry Poteck had tried? They were the most loving people she had ever met. Why couldn't she let herself be taken care of? Tears trickled down her cheeks. When she looked up, Parker reacted. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around her, avoiding all of her injuries like a skilled professional. She sobbed into his shoulder as he tightened his hold. As her emotions drained she felt protected in his arms, cared for. She had been taking care of her younger siblings for so long that she had forgotten what it felt like to be cared for by someone else. Parker pulled back when he heard her tears stop. He took out a handkerchief and dabbed her tear stained cheeks.
"Would you please let me help with Sadie's birthday? I know it's hard for you to imagine that I really want to, but I do."
"Alright, Parker, thank you, Sadie deserves to feel special for a day."
"Yes she does. So, why don't you calm down a bit, and we'll go out to find something together. Can I get you anything from your room before we go?"
"We don't have to go today, whenever you have free time is fine."
Parker lowered himself from his stance and brought his eyes directly to hers, "I have free time right now, and I would like nothing more than to take you out."
"Then I'm ready right now," she smiled weakly.
She thought their outing would be awkward after her emotional tirade in the parlor, but it wasn't. Parker pushed her slowly down the street, and she enjoyed the fresh air, and his company. The summer's stifling heat was starting to fade, and a cool breeze whipped across her face, blowing her curls around her face. Their house wasn't far from some stores and Parker pushed her into the first one they came from. The merchandise was beautiful, jewelry boxes, earrings and necklaces, and then there were the sweets.
Tessa wanted the gift to be special, something that Sadie could always keep with her. She took her time looking through everything in each store. Parker encouraged her to take as long as she needed. He brought certain items to her attention, and commented on those things she had questions about. She was surprised to find that he had very good taste, and seemed to know exactly what she was looking for.
"May I ask what you got for your thirteenth birthday?" Parker asked after they entered the third store.
Tessa pulled at the chain around her neck. She let the large oval dangle from the chain off her chest. "This locket."
Parker took a step closer and lifted the piece into her hands. She watched him as he inspected the detailing on the front, and as he carefully opened it. Confusion wrinkled his brow when he found nothing inside. "No picture?"
"Mama said I should keep it open for the man of my dreams. I was ready to fill it before everything happened. I had the picture cut and everything. Sometimes, I find myself wondering what would have happened if I had married him before everything happened. Would he have abandoned me, or forbade me from taking the children in? I can't even imagine."
"I think Sadie should have a locket, just like yours. Your mother would have wanted her to have one too."
Tessa gasped, "Parker, that's far too expensive."
"If it was too expensive, I wouldn't have suggested it. Really Tess, it's okay; I want Sadie to have one."
She tried to remain calm, knowing that even Parker could only handle one emotional breakdown in a day. It was difficult to give in to such an expensive gift, but that was what she had wanted Sadie to have all along. "Alright, Parker, but nothing too expensive."
"Agreed, whatever you want."
"I think I'd like to go back to the first store. I really liked the locket I saw in there, but I didn't want to ask you for it. It was oval like mine, a little smaller, with less detailing, I think it's perfect," she said shyly.<
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"I remember just the one you're talking about; I think it's a great choice." He spun her wheelchair and exited the store to the musical jingle of the bells that hung there. "When we get home, I'll ask Lizzy about a dress, one of her older one's even. We could buy some ribbons or lace for you to rework it. I think Sadie should have a new dress. What else did you do for your thirteenth birthday?"
"My parents and I went to the movies, just the three of us. We saw "Pollyanna," it was one of my favorite stories growing up, and it happened to come out in the pictures when I turned thirteen. My mother was so excited to surprise me with going. She put a blindfold over my eyes, and loaded me into the car. My father drove around in an effort to confuse me. They bought me snacks and I sat between them. I love movies, I had so much fun. Then we had a special dinner, where they gave me my locket." Tessa couldn't help but smile at the memory, it was one of her favorites. Her parents had been so happy, and she was all alone with them. They joked and teased each other, and her father tickled her into hysteria at one point.
"Sounds like the perfect day."
Tessa turned in her chair to look right into Parker's dark eyes, "It was."
"If I might ask, why did they make your thirteenth birthday so special? Not that thirteen isn't an important age, but sixteen, or eighteen are more popular for milestone birthdays."
Tessa laughed, "My mother told me she couldn't wait until I turned sixteen to surprise me with a special day. Sadie had been taking so much of her time, and she knew I was feeling a little ignored. I was used to being an only child and Sadie changed everything. I love her, but at first, it was a hard adjustment. We had a party for my sixteenth birthday as well, but I still remember my thirteenth birthday being my best day."