by Jeanne Winer
At around one in the morning, Vickie bolted straight up, pulling the sheet away from me.
“What the hell is that?” she asked.
“What?” I mumbled, trying to pull a little of the sheet back.
“That loud crashing sound. My God!”
I listened for a moment. “Oh, I guess I’ve gotten used to it. It’s just the waves crashing on the rocks below us. Mother Nature on a well-deserved rampage. She waits until the summer when there aren’t so many tourists.” I put my hand on Vickie’s shoulder. “Come on, let me spoon you.”
Vickie sat there for a moment, shaking her head, but finally she nodded.
When she’d settled back down on her side, I slid my body next to hers and pulled her gently toward me. After a couple of seconds, she stopped resisting and even scooted back an inch until her body was pressed snugly into mine. It felt so right, which of course didn’t mean a thing.
A few minutes later she whispered, “This isn’t a done deal, Rachel.”
I inhaled the smell of her hair, the sweet familiar scent of her skin. “I know.”
“You risked us.”
“I know.” Another apology would be useless, possibly even counterproductive. “The defendant pleads not guilty by reason of insanity.”
She’d obviously expected something more contrite. “Hah! That’s so pathetic, Rachel. Jurors hate that defense.”
I shrugged. “Well, if that’s all you’ve got…”
She struggled half-heartedly to twist away from me. “Oh please. How many cases have you ever won using that defense?”
“None, but there’s always a first.”
“Give me a break.” She shook her head and sighed, then settled back against me. “You lawyers never give up, do you?”
I considered the last three months, where I’d been and where I’d ended up.
Sometimes we do, I thought, but not for very long.
Acknowlegments
Thank you, first of all, to Allen Rinzler, who edited my novel through four drafts. You made the book at least fifty percent better. Thanks also to Katherine V. Forrest, my editor at Bella Books, who helped me add the last important touches to the novel. Thank you also to Bella Books for loving my novel and wanting to publish it.
Thanks to Ellen Klaver, who spoke to me about her time in Nicaragua and who loaned me her book about Ben Linder (The Death of Ben Linder by Joan Kruckewitt). I’m ashamed to say that I still haven’t returned the book. Sorry. Thanks also to Ruth and Moises Rodriguez who also spoke with me about their life in Nicaragua during the eighties.
Thank you to THE BOULDER-JALAPA FRIENDSHIP CITY PROJECT, which gave me my first opportunity in 1985 to experience Nicaragua, especially Jalapa and its surrounding areas.
I want to acknowledge Peter Davis’s wonderful book, Where is Nicaragua? The book helped me to remember and understand my experiences in Nicaragua. I also want to acknowledge Susan Meiselas’s gorgeous book of photographs, entitled Nicaragua, which contains the most amazing, moving, painful, graphic images of Nicaragua shot right before, during, and immediately after the triumph in July 1979. I referred to these pictures over and over again to stimulate my memory and to inspire me.
I also want to acknowledge an article about Nicaragua in the Boulder Sunday Camera Magazine written by Julia McCray-Goldsmith—I stole the chicken story from her.
Thank you, Miryam Obando, for being my host in Managua for six weeks in 1987. I don’t know where you are now, or whether you’re still alive. I hope you are well. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch, but I was very sick for a number of years after returning to the United States.
Special thanks to Jamie Ash and Kat Duff for letting me read each chapter to you out loud. Thanks to all the extraordinary women in Taos who supported, encouraged and cheered me on, especially April Werner and Jean Thompson.
Thank you, Daniela Kuper, my dear friend who believes in this book and who continually tells me how good it is. Thank you for being such a great supportive friend. It means the world to me.
Thanks also to Natalie Goldberg who, by example, encouraged me to finally quit my job and write full time.
Thanks to Susie Schneider, Curtis Ramsay, Sawnie Morris, Brian Shields, Deborah Winer, Jude Kaftan, Bernice Winer, Kristin Marra, Bert Nieslanik and Leslie Haase who read various drafts of my novel and gave me feedback and encouragement. Your positive comments kept me going more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you, Sue Larson, for housesitting for me in Boulder so that I could get away to New Mexico to write.
A huge sad thanks to Molly Gierasch who tried so hard to pick up the pieces when I returned home sick from Nicaragua in 1987. Thank you for everything, Molly.
And finally, my heartfelt thanks to Leslie Haase, who loves and supports me, and understands more than I could have ever hoped what writing means to me.
Bella Books, Inc.
Women. Books. Even Better Together.
P.O. Box 10543
Tallahassee, FL 32302
Phone: 800-729-4992
www.BellaBooks.com
Table of Contents
Prologue
PART I: THE KIND OF CASE EVERY PUBLIC DEFENDER WAS BORN FOR
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
PART II: UNSENT LETTERS FROM THE EARTHQUAKE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
PART III: LEARNING TO KAYAK
Chapter Seventeen