by Emily Forbes
‘How is the baby?’
‘He’s fine. Perfect.’
‘It was a boy?’
‘Yes.’
‘And the mother? Your brother’s girlfriend?’
‘She’s in ICU but she’s stable. You saved two lives today.’ She smiled. ‘Thank you.’
‘It’s what we do,’ he replied. ‘How is Guy coping?’
Chloe shrugged. ‘He’s in shock. Stunned. We all are.’
‘It’s not every day you discover you’re an instant father.’
‘No.’ Chloe was quiet, wondering if she should tell him her news now.
No.
Now was not the time. She didn’t have the energy for that discussion. That wouldn’t be fair on either of them. Now was not the time or the place. She was beginning to wonder if there really wasn’t ever going to be the perfect time. Maybe she’d just have to bite the bullet and have the conversation. Get it over and done with.
‘Will he do a DNA test?’ Xander asked.
‘I have no idea. I don’t think that’s even crossed his mind. Is that what you would do?’ Chloe’s heart was beating rapidly and she was having difficulty breathing as she waited for his answer.
‘Maybe. Probably.’
His answer wasn’t unreasonable but it wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear.
A shadow passed behind his grey eyes and she wondered if he’d been in the same position. Was that why his marriage broke up? She couldn’t help but feel sympathy for him based on nothing but his expression and the sadness in his eyes. That troubled look in his eyes was so familiar. She hadn’t noticed it as much over the last week but it was back again now, that slightly haunted look that never failed to draw her in.
The lift doors opened at the ground floor. She couldn’t believe no one else had got in.
‘Would you like to go for that drink now?’ he asked as they stepped out.
‘I can’t.’
‘I know I said I’d leave it up to you but we’re running out of time and you look like you could really use a drink.’
‘I have to go home. Mum and my other brother are waiting. I need to let them know what’s been happening. But if you’re free on Thursday I’m going out with some friends from here—just a small group, my best friends, really—and they’ve asked me to bring you.’ She knew she should stay away but she couldn’t.
‘Really?’
She nodded. It was safer than having drinks with him alone. It gave her an excuse to see him without giving her the opportunity to divulge her secret. She knew she couldn’t avoid that discussion for ever but maybe this could buy her a few more days. She was terrified of what might happen next.
‘Shall I pick you up?’ he offered.
‘No!’ There was no way she was having him turn up at her house. ‘We’re going to a pub for birthday drinks. The pub is closer to you. I’ll meet you at your place.’
* * *
‘Chloe?’ Shirley stuck her head into a treatment cubicle where Chloe was giving her patient her discharge instructions. ‘Do you think you could take your break when you’re finished here? Hannah is asking to see you.’
‘She’s conscious?’
Shirley nodded. ‘She’s been moved to the maternity ward.’
Everyone in the hospital had heard Hannah’s story, patient confidentiality didn’t seem to extend to surprise births.
As Chloe made her way upstairs she wondered if Guy knew Hannah had woken up. He’d been into the hospital first thing today to see the baby and Hannah but she’d still been in high dependency then.
She could see Hannah’s mother pacing the corridor outside her daughter’s room. She held a baby in her arms.
‘Chloe. Thank you for coming,’ Pam said.
‘Hey, little man,’ Chloe said as she reached out and stroked her nephew’s cheek. He was sleeping, blissfully unaware of all the drama surrounding his birth. She lifted her head and looked at Hannah’s mum. ‘How is Hannah doing, Pam?’
‘Physically okay, the doctors tell me, but she’s very agitated. The nurses brought the baby in to her and she got very distressed. She’s insisting he isn’t hers.’
‘What?’ Chloe had thought of a dozen different explanations for this surprise baby but she hadn’t expected Hannah to deny the baby was hers.
‘I don’t know what to do.’ Pam’s face was lined with worry. ‘She seems very confused but the doctors have said she’s recovering well. I wondered if you might be able to have a chat with her. I thought seeing as she knows you, and Guy told me you were there for the delivery, Hannah might listen to you.’
‘Okay, I’ll see how I go.’ She stroked the baby’s cheek one more time, then went into Hannah’s room.
‘Chloe! Thank God,’ Hannah greeted her.
She looked pale but otherwise okay. She was still connected to various monitors and an IV line ran into her arm but she was obviously coherent enough to recognise Chloe.
‘Can you tell me what’s happening, Chloe?’
‘Of course. What do you remember?’
‘I remember going to bed and then I woke up here, in hospital. I’ve got stitches in my stomach but no one will tell me what happened. Was I in an accident?’
What did she mean no one would tell her what happened? Was Hannah confused? Did she have short-term memory loss? Did she even remember being told she’d had a baby?
‘You collapsed at home yesterday.’
Hannah frowned. ‘Yesterday? What day is it?’
‘Monday,’ said Chloe gently. ‘You’d been complaining of headaches but you had a seizure and your blood pressure was dangerously high. You were brought into hospital by the ambulance. You had pre-eclampsia.’
‘Pre-what?’
‘It’s a condition associated with pregnancy. We had to deliver your baby.’
Hannah shook her head. ‘Why does everyone keep talking about a baby? I don’t have a baby!’
‘Hannah.’ Chloe sat in the chair beside the bed. ‘I was there when you were brought into the hospital. I was there in the operating room. I was there when you had a Caesarean section.’
‘A Caesarean section?’
‘Yes. That’s why you have stitches in your stomach.’
‘But I wasn’t pregnant!’
Chloe took her hand. ‘Hannah, I promise, you’ve had a baby. I was there when the surgeon delivered him.’
‘No.’ Hannah shook her head again and Chloe could tell she was close to tears. ‘I must be dreaming. Surely I’d know if I was pregnant. I’m not stupid.’
Chloe knew it was possible that Hannah hadn’t known. She needed to give her the benefit of the doubt. In her distressed state she didn’t need any other pressure. She sat on the bed and gently wrapped her arms around Hannah. ‘Shh. You need to relax. Your body and your mind need time to recover. It will take time to get your head around this but it will be okay. Everything will be all right.’
‘How can you say that?’ Hannah’s shoulders shook as she cried. ‘This doesn’t make any sense.’
‘I know,’ Chloe reassured her. ‘I know it sounds crazy but I promise I’m telling you the truth. You have a healthy baby boy.’
She felt Hannah take a deep breath and her sobs stilled. ‘You’re telling me the truth? I really have a son?’
‘You do. You have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Would you like to see him?’
Chloe stepped out of the room when Hannah nodded and spoke to Pam. She took the baby from his grandmother’s arms and carried him in to Hannah. He was tiny but perfect and Chloe’s heart swelled with love. There was something so precious about newborn babies and, when they were family too, it didn’t get better than that. Chloe would love more children of her own but, for now, she’d enjoy her nephew.
‘Do you want to hold him?’ Chloe asked as she held him out to Hanna
h, but Hannah shook her head and kept her arms folded across her chest, refusing to take him.
‘I don’t know what to do with a baby.’
Chloe cuddled the baby back into her chest. She was convinced that once Hannah held him she’d sense he belonged to her and would be as besotted as everyone else was. But she couldn’t force her to take him.
‘I know this is scary,’ Chloe said. She knew Hannah would still be in shock and Chloe couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling. To have no idea she was pregnant and to wake up being told she was a mum would floor anyone. Hannah had also missed out on all the joy and wonder of a pregnancy. Expectant mums usually had months to get used to the idea, months to make plans, months for the excitement to build and months of anticipation of holding their baby for the first time. Hannah had none of that. She must be feeling overwhelmed. ‘But you have our support. You and this little fellow are Guy’s family now. Our family.’
‘Does Guy know where I am?’ Hannah asked.
Chloe nodded. ‘He’s been in to see you. He was here last night and again this morning.’
‘He knows about the baby?’ Hannah looked worried.
‘Yes.’
‘What did he say?’
Chloe realised that was what she was concerned about. She was worried that Guy wouldn’t want the baby.
‘He thinks his son is amazing. He thinks you’re amazing,’ Chloe reassured her. ‘It’ll be okay. Guy isn’t going anywhere.’
‘Are you sure?’
Chloe nodded. ‘Do you want to hold him now? See how he feels. Smell him. There’s nothing like the smell of a newborn baby.’
Hannah nodded this time and held out her arms, cradling him against her. ‘He’s really mine?’
‘Yes.’
She stared down at the sleeping bundle.
‘How could I not know that I was pregnant?’
‘Some women have very straightforward, uncomplicated pregnancies. It’s not an illness. But you would have had some changes to your body. Do you think you might have noticed some and attributed them to something else?’ Chloe knew Hannah would be feeling foolish and she tried to give her a reasonable explanation.
‘Like what?’
‘Weight gain? Tiredness? Irritability?’
‘I’d put on a little bit of weight but I haven’t been exercising as much lately and I had a headache for the past week but I put that down to stress over my exams. Oh, my God!’ Hannah looked up at Chloe. ‘My exams! What will I do about those?’
Chloe thought that was probably the least of Hannah’s concerns at the moment but she realised it was something she’d been working towards for months and it would seem like a big deal. ‘I’ll organise for a counsellor to come and speak to you. I’m sure there’s a way of rescheduling or postponing your exams,’ Chloe said as she saw Guy arrive. She kissed Hannah goodbye and left the room, allowing Guy and Hannah some privacy. Hannah needed to spend time with him and their son. She needed to know that everything would be okay.
Guy had looked happy as he’d traded places with Chloe. He’d missed out on the excitement of the pregnancy too. Chloe knew from her own experience dealing with expectant fathers that many of them enjoyed the excitement and anticipation of a pregnancy as much as the mothers.
She wondered if Xander would have enjoyed the experience. Would he have changed his mind about having children if he was presented with a done deal? Would he have been excited? Would he have wanted to be involved? To experience it all or would he have remained distant? Surely he would have changed his mind? She hoped he would have. Surely he would have wanted to share the experience? Surely he would have wanted his daughter?
CHAPTER SIX
CHLOE PRESSED THE doorbell for Xander’s apartment and checked her outfit in the mirror in the building’s hallway. She fluffed her hair out over her shoulders as she waited for him to answer. She’d washed it and let it air dry, deliberately allowing it to curl wildly, knowing he loved her to wear it down.
She’d had the day off work but had spent it with Hannah, who had been discharged from hospital and was now home and trying to adjust in to her new role as a mother to baby Jonas. The week had been crazy and Chloe was looking forward to tonight. She was looking forward to talking and thinking about something else other than babies. She was looking forward to seeing Xander and pretending that she was four years younger, with no responsibilities and nothing better to do than go out for a drink with a handsome man.
His door swung open and he stood before her. He was still tugging his grey T-shirt down over his chest, obviously still getting ready, and she caught a glimpse of his belly button and taut abdominals. She swallowed; suddenly she was nervous. ‘Am I early?’
‘No.’ His eyes travelled the length of her body and she was rewarded with a large smile. ‘You’re perfect.’ She had dressed carefully, choosing white jeans and a gauzy, pink and white floral, off-the-shoulder top. She knew she was tempting fate but she was excited about tonight and wanted to make an impression.
He didn’t invite her in. He stepped into the hall and cupped her face in his hands, bending his head to hers, and greeted her with a kiss.
Her body felt as if it was exploding into a thousand tiny pieces. He just had to look at her to set her heart racing and once his lips met hers she could barely stand. Her toes tingled and her legs felt like jelly. She was immediately transported back four years. To when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. To when she had nothing to worry about—other than not getting pregnant.
That hadn’t worked out so well.
She pulled back as that thought made its way out of her subconscious. She couldn’t afford to get carried away. She couldn’t afford to get too involved. Things were not so simple any more.
‘Have we got time for a drink here before we go?’ Xander asked. If he noticed her withdrawal, he didn’t mention it. She nodded and he held the door for her as they stepped inside.
‘Gin and tonic?’
‘Thanks.’ Chloe leant on the kitchen bench as he mixed her drink. This felt normal, comfortable, and she was able to relax a little.
‘How has your week been? How are Hannah and your new nephew doing?’ he asked as he handed her a glass. She hadn’t seen him for three days. There had been no emergencies that had involved her on Tuesday and she’d had the past two days rostered off. It felt far longer than three days though; it felt like a lifetime.
She took her drink and followed Xander to the small couch. ‘It’s been absolutely crazy. But Hannah is doing well all things considered. I can’t imagine having no warning that you’re going to have a baby.’ Chloe had found it hard enough to cope with a surprise pregnancy; she couldn’t imagine having to cope with a surprise baby.
‘Lucky for them you’ve got some experience with babies.’
‘Mmm-hmm, I guess it is.’ She had more experience than he knew but she wasn’t ready to talk about Lily yet.
‘And Hannah really had no idea she was pregnant?’
‘Apparently. She’d had headaches and a few warning signs for pre-eclampsia but she was studying for her final exams and she put it down to stress. She said she never skipped a period and didn’t have any morning sickness.’
‘And what about your brother? How is he coping?’
‘They have a lot to sort out but luckily there doesn’t seem to be any issue over paternity. Their situation is stressful enough without any of those questions. They trust each other and they’ve been in a relationship for a while, even though this is a bit more serious than they had planned at this stage.’
‘How old is your brother?’
‘Twenty-three.’
‘Is he ready for this?’
‘I don’t know if anyone is ever really ready. I see so many first-time parents—most of them have no idea. Age is just a number and I know Guy would never, ever, walk away from
his child.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Guy was only three when our father died and Tom was just a baby. The boys don’t remember him and I know that has affected Guy. He would want his child to know him and even if he and Hannah weren’t so solid I know he’d always make his child a priority.’ She very nearly said, He’s so good with Lily, but she stopped herself just before she could say something she couldn’t take back.
‘You have two brothers? Guy and...’
‘Tom.’ She nodded. ‘What about you? Who’s in your family?’
‘Both my parents are still alive—they’ll celebrate their fortieth wedding anniversary this year.’
Forty years! She wondered if they were happily married. If they’d had their share of ups and downs.
‘And I have three older sisters,’ Xander added. ‘And four nieces and nephews.’
Lily had cousins on Xander’s side as well. It was strange... Chloe hadn’t imagined that. Lily had a whole other family. ‘And one ex-wife.’
‘Yes.’
‘Would you get ever get married again?’
‘I’d like to think so. I don’t want to imagine spending the rest of my life alone. I always saw myself as a husband and father.’
‘You want children?’
‘Definitely.’
‘Oh.’ Chloe stood up and took her empty glass to Xander’s compact kitchen as she digested that information. Somewhere along the line she’d got her wires crossed. He wanted kids. That changed everything.
‘You seem surprised,’ he said.
‘I thought you said you and your wife split up because she wanted kids. I guess I assumed that meant you didn’t.’
‘It was a bit more complicated than that.’ He glanced at his watch but not before Chloe saw the shadow pass across his eyes again. ‘Should we go?’ He stood up and grabbed his keys and it was clear that conversation was over.
Chloe nodded, happy to change tack. She needed a few moments to get her head straight.
‘Just remind me who’s going to be at the pub,’ he said as he locked his front door behind them.