by Emily Forbes
He realised then that he wanted to at least have a chance, an opportunity, to be important to Chloe. To pursue a relationship with her. But now he would have to get in line. Behind a child. Behind an ex.
He needed time to think. About how he felt. About what this meant.
He had always wanted kids of his own. But did he want someone else’s?
It wasn’t a deal breaker, not with Chloe, but he did wish she’d told him. He wished he hadn’t heard the news from a third party.
Why hadn’t she said anything?
He’d turned the key in his front door and stepped inside. He pulled his boots off and stripped off his clothes, thinking of the high hopes he’d had for this evening when he’d got dressed just a few hours ago. This had not been how he’d thought his night would end.
He’d sleep on it, he decided, even though he suspected sleep might elude him, and ask her about it tomorrow.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Something’s come up.
CHLOE DROPPED HER phone on the kitchen table after checking it for the tenth time since dropping Lily off at nursery that morning. But Xander’s message from the night before still made no sense and she’d heard nothing further. She’d phoned him three times before giving up. He was either very busy or ignoring her calls. Given that he wasn’t part of the overnight air ambulance team and he had no family in England that she knew of she couldn’t imagine what had ‘come up’ and had required his immediate attention. Which really only left one possibility. That he was ignoring her.
She was annoyed that he’d disappeared last night without a decent explanation and was also slightly concerned that something had happened but there was nothing she could do about it at the moment. He would be back at work now, and while she could call the department, what would she say? He didn’t really owe her anything. She just had to hope that he’d get in touch eventually and meanwhile she had plenty to keep her occupied for the morning while she waited. It was just unfortunate that it was only household chores.
She sighed as she dumped a load of wet laundry into a washing basket. There was no point trying to guess why he’d left. She’d drive herself mad. She just had to assume he had a reason and he’d explain it to her when she next saw him.
She was hanging the last item of washing on the line when she heard a siren wailing in the distance. It got louder. It was joined by another. A third. A fourth. She could hear ambulances, fire engines and police cars. Their different sirens colliding with each other at an ever-increasing volume.
She paused, resting the empty washing basket on her hip. Could she smell smoke?
She turned around in a circle, her face tilted up to the sky. There was a column of smoke to the west.
She hurried inside, dropping the basket on the floor as she flicked on the radio and the television, searching for news.
It didn’t take long to hear. There was a fire in a shopping centre. She knew the centre. It was only a few streets away.
It was a sprawling building with a supermarket as an anchor tenant, a gym, numerous restaurants, cafés and smaller speciality stores. It was a busy centre and Chloe knew it would have been bustling at ten o’clock in the morning. She could imagine the chaos of the evacuation.
She listened to the report. The origin of the fire was thought to be a café. The cause of the blaze as yet unknown. The list of casualties undetermined. The fire brigade, police and paramedics were all in attendance. Chloe’s throat tightened in fear. Xander and both her brothers were working today. Were they there?
Her heart was pounding as she ran back outside. The column of smoke was thicker now, menacing and black. It was spreading across the sky. She heard the familiar sound of chopper blades and saw a news helicopter flying overhead. Followed by the air ambulance.
Xander.
She grabbed her keys and her phone and left the house. She sprinted west along the footpath. She knew there would be a crowd—disaster scenes were a magnet for the curious—but perhaps she could help.
She turned the final corner and was confronted by a wall of people. The noise was deafening—sirens, flames and voices all seemed to be at full volume. Soot fell from the sky and smoke was thick in the air. Chloe’s eyes were stinging and her throat was dry.
Through the crowd she could see dozens of emergency vehicles filling the street. Police cars and ambulances but mostly fire engines.
The police were trying to clear the area of spectators, advising them to leave, but no one appeared to be listening. They held back the crowds but Chloe pushed her way through. She slid past some and ducked around others until she was close to the front. She looked for familiar faces. Guy. Tom. Xander. There were way too many paramedics and firefighters. She wasn’t going to be able to identify her brothers so she looked instead for the orange jumpsuits of the air ambulance crew.
People were still running from the building, hurrying to escape, to get clear. It was pandemonium with the first responders doing their best to evacuate the building and get people triaged and treated. She wanted to offer to help but she knew she couldn’t just speak to the first person she saw. Everyone was busy. No one had time to stop to talk to her.
If she wanted to help she needed to speak to whoever was in charge of coordinating the units, although it was difficult to tell who that might be. She doubted she’d be allowed to help. She wasn’t on duty and she had no identification with her, but she had to do something.
She scanned the area but the crowds of people, the poor visibility due to the smoke and the incessant noise made it hard to pick out who was in charge. She needed to be up close to make herself heard. She didn’t want to yell and add to the noise of the fire and of the emergency crews. The victims of the fire seemed mostly silent. In shock. A few were calling out, a few were in tears, but most were mute.
Chloe jumped as an explosion rent the air, adding to the noise and confusion. She turned back towards the building and saw a ball of flame shoot into the sky. A gas pipe must have exploded.
Movement on the periphery of her vision caught her eye. A woman, dazed and disoriented, was heading for the complex, heading back towards the fire, but it was the flash of orange that captured her attention. Someone was running towards the woman. Someone in an orange jumpsuit.
Xander.
He reached the woman just as Chloe thought she couldn’t get any closer to the fire without being burnt. Her heart was in her mouth as Xander reached out his hand to stop her from walking any further. They were only metres from the burning building.
A second explosion ripped through the air, tearing a massive hole in the side of the building.
Xander was in the path of the explosion.
Glass and bricks rained down on him. Chloe heard herself screaming a warning but of course he couldn’t hear her. He disappeared in a cloud of dust and debris.
The dust cleared and Chloe could see him on the ground. He was lying over the woman, shielding her with his body, surrounded by flaming rubble.
Chloe waited for him to get up.
He didn’t move.
Fire hoses were aimed at Xander and the woman. Showering them with water, dousing the flames.
He still didn’t move.
Chloe tried desperately to push through the last row of people blocking her path but they were too tightly packed. She was stuck but she knew the police would stop her from reaching Xander even if she could get through the crowd. She peered over shoulders and saw paramedics hurrying towards them. One of them knelt beside Xander. She was sure it was Tom.
She watched as Xander was lifted onto a stretcher, an oxygen mask strapped over his face. Tom raised the stretcher and moved away from the building.
Chloe pushed back through the spectators, not towards the fire, not towards the police, but behind the crowd. She moved parallel to Tom, heading for the ambulances. Her eyes tracked Tom’s movements and she
was able to occasionally make him out between the heads of the onlookers.
He was almost at the ambulance. She picked up her pace; she needed to get to him before he left the scene. She drew level with the ambulance and pushed her way to the front again.
‘Tom.’ She called to him but he couldn’t hear her.
‘Tom!’ she yelled again as she got past the crowd.
‘You can’t come through here.’ A policewoman barred her way.
‘Tom!’ She was getting desperate.
Finally, Tom heard her and she saw him turn in her direction.
‘Tom. That’s Xander.’ Her voice was hoarse. Her throat was sore from screaming and her face was wet with tears she hadn’t been aware of.
She saw Tom look to the stretcher where Xander lay and then back to her.
‘It’s okay. She’s with the air ambulance.’ He called out to the policewoman. ‘Let her through.’
Chloe didn’t give the policewoman time to argue. She ran to Tom. To Xander. All her earlier irritation over his disappearance last night forgotten. All she felt now was concern.
She put her hand on Xander’s leg. His eyes were closed. His blond hair dirty with soot and ash. ‘Xander? Can you hear me?’
There was no reply.
‘Is he breathing?’ she asked her brother, even as she realised he must be. They weren’t trying to resuscitate him. He had an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.
‘Yes,’ Tom said as he pushed the stretcher into the ambulance, ‘but he’s non-responsive.’
Xander’s uniform was scorched. It was flame retardant but hadn’t completely withstood the direct heat. She could see marks on his neck and wrists. Were they burns or just dirt? How badly was he injured?
Chloe put her hand on Tom’s arm, stopping him from climbing into the ambulance. ‘Can I come with you?’
He nodded. ‘Ride in the front with Diane. There’s no room in the back.’
Chloe didn’t want to leave Xander but she didn’t argue. She jumped into the front of the ambulance as Diane slammed the rear doors shut before climbing into the driver’s seat.
‘Where are we headed?’ Chloe asked.
‘St Barbara’s Hospital.’
‘But the Queen Victoria is closer,’ she argued.
‘I know,’ Diane said. ‘But the category one cases are being sent there. The less urgent ones have been directed to other hospitals.’
Chloe bit back a cry of frustration. She knew it wasn’t Diane’s fault but if they’d been able to go to the Queen Victoria Chloe would have some influence. She tried to console herself with the knowledge that they didn’t think Xander was critically injured.
Chloe was out of the ambulance almost before Diane had pulled to a stop in the emergency bay of St Barbara’s. She waited impatiently for Diane to open the rear doors as it wasn’t Chloe’s job, and once they got inside she wouldn’t have a job to do either. It wasn’t her hospital. She’d be helpless, useless. She’d have nothing to do except wait.
Diane and Tom pulled Xander’s stretcher out. He still hadn’t regained consciousness.
They pushed him inside. The hospital was busy but Xander was given priority. His airway, lungs and other injuries needed urgent assessment. He was whisked away and she knew she wouldn’t be allowed to go with him. She would have to wait.
She had never been on the other side of an Accident and Emergency department. She’d never been one of the anxious family or friends waiting for news.
She wished she knew someone on staff but she had to sit and wait like everyone else. The television in the waiting area had been tuned into the news channel, which was still showing footage of the burning building. Chloe knew there would be fatalities.
She was worried about her brothers. Tom had gone back to the scene and she knew Guy would still be there too.
She was worried about Xander.
She didn’t want to harass the staff. She knew what it was like to have patients’ relatives asking for updates every few minutes, but the delay seemed interminable. She had to know if he was all right. She had to see him.
She waited as long as she could bear before approaching the unit manager. ‘Can you tell me if there’s any news on Xander Jameson. He was brought in from the fire.’
‘Are you family?’
‘No. I’m a friend and a midwife at the Queen Victoria. I work with Xander at the air ambulance.’
‘Do you have some ID?’
She shook her head. She’d dashed out of the house with only her keys and her phone. She hadn’t thought to grab her bag or her wallet.
‘Then I’ll have to ask you to wait.’
Chloe was prepared to wait. She’d known it was unlikely that she’d be given any information just on her say-so but she wasn’t leaving until she had some news. She would wait until Xander could vouch for her. ‘Can you ask him if I can see him?’ she said as she took a seat.
‘When I can.’
Chloe had no idea if that meant Xander had regained consciousness and the manager would ask when she had a minute or if it meant Xander was still out cold.
She nodded. She couldn’t complain. She knew there was a protocol to follow and she didn’t want to cause a scene.
But what if something serious had happened to him?
What if she lost him all over again?
Why had she been hesitating to talk to him? To tell him what had happened. She should have told him about Lily. She should have told him how she felt. He deserved to know the truth.
* * *
‘You have a visitor.’
Xander turned his head to look at the nurse and winced as pain shot behind one eye.
‘Who is it?’ he asked. He couldn’t imagine too many people who would be visiting him.
‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘Shall I ask?’ The nurse was young, a student, and she looked nervous. Xander assumed she was aware he was a doctor and that was putting her on edge.
That would probably be a good idea, he felt like saying, but it wouldn’t serve any purpose to snap at her. He was still groggy. And sore. He’d been surprised to find himself in hospital. He remembered chasing after a woman at the fire but had no memory of anything after that.
‘Male or female?’ he asked.
‘Female.’
‘What does she look like?’
‘Young. Blond curly hair. She said she’s a midwife.’
Chloe.
‘You can send her in.’
Chloe came into his room. Her face was pale, her normal happy expression overshadowed by a crease between her brows. She looked worried.
She came straight to his bed but hesitated a step away. She stopped and he wondered what she’d wanted to do. ‘You’re okay?’ she said.
He nodded. ‘Is the fire out?’
Chloe shook her head. ‘What were you thinking?’ She sounded cross. ‘Running after that woman.’
He hadn’t been thinking; he’d simply reacted when he saw the woman heading towards the fire. ‘Is she okay?’
‘I don’t know. I think so. You know that going into burning buildings isn’t your job.’
‘I didn’t go inside,’ he argued. ‘She was walking straight into the fire. Someone had to stop her and there was no one else nearby.’
‘But you could have been killed!’
Was she worried about him? Afraid for his safety? Afraid that he had been injured?
He didn’t want her to worry about him. ‘I’m sorry if I scared you,’ he said, hoping to reassure her. ‘But, as you can see, I’m fine.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m positive.’
‘You were knocked unconscious,’ she argued.
‘Only briefly.’ He tried a self-deprecating smile for good measure.
‘Promise you won’t do
that again.’
‘I’ll try not to make a habit of it.’
She smiled and he saw her shoulders visibly relax.
She reached out and held his fingers. ‘What happened to your arm?’
His left arm was wrapped in gauze bandages. ‘The doctors picked some glass fragments out. They’ve cleaned and dressed it. That’s all. Nothing major.’
She put her hand to his chin and turned his head slightly. ‘And what about this?’ she asked.
He had a dressing on his neck and he felt it pull tight, resisting the movement. He tried not to wince. ‘A minor burn.’
He had a dull headache and suspected he had sustained a mild concussion but he expected the pain relief would take care of the ache. There was something niggling at the back of his mind and he concentrated hard to bring it to the forefront. He felt it was important. Something to do with Chloe.
A conversation.
He closed his eyes as the memory returned.
A conversation not with Chloe but with Adem.
‘Are you all right? Can I get you something?’ Chloe’s voice broke into his reverie.
He opened his eyes. ‘I’m fine,’ he reiterated as he fought down a wave of nausea. He knew he wasn’t physically sick. It was emotional. ‘But there’s something I need to ask you.’
Now that he’d remembered the conversation, he knew it would eat away at him until he raised the subject with Chloe. He was tired and sore but he needed some answers. They needed to have a conversation and while the emergency department wasn’t the ideal place it would have to do. The sooner he heard her side of the story, the sooner he would know where he stood.
‘Adem told me you have a daughter.’
The colour that had been beginning to return to her face drained away completely, leaving her ashen. She froze.
‘When did he tell you that?’
‘Last night. At the bar.’
‘That’s why you left,’ she said as she collapsed onto the chair next to his bed.
‘Is it true?’
She nodded.
‘Why haven’t you said anything?’