Fucking sneaky piece of shit.
I’m so angry, I’m shaking. I’m angry at him for even thinking about going there, and I’m angry at her because she obviously orchestrated this whole thing just to make me jealous. And guess what? It’s fucking working.
She sits down next to Rick. He leans over and whispers something to her. She laughs, the sound making my jaw clench. I don’t want her to laugh at anything he says, because those gorgeous little fits of laughter are mine. I breathe out and shake my head. God, I’m losing the plot.
I carefully set my beer on the table in front of me, wishing I’d gotten another ten or so shots. For a moment, our eyes meet, and then she looks away, but not before I see a flicker of regret in them. She knows this is low. This is not the way to convince me she’s mature enough to handle our relationship.
But you haven’t been very mature about this whole thing either.
Gary nudges me. I glance at him with a scowl, not in the mood for his attitude.
“I asked if you’re okay?” he says. He nods toward Rick and Darcy. “I thought—”
“You thought wrong,” I respond curtly. “We’re certainly not together, so she can do what she likes—and so can he.”
I finish the rest of my beer then stand up. I can’t handle this. I came out to forget about her, not have it rubbed in my face. Rick curls his arm around her waist, his hand resting on her lower back. I clench my jaw tightly, keeping it together by a thread. All it’s going to take is one bad thought and I’m going to explode and pound the shit out of him.
“I have to go,” I mutter.
I grab my jacket off the back of the chair and stalk toward the exit. Just before I reach the door, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around, expecting Gary, or maybe Rick, but it’s her standing there, staring at me and looking as sexy as fuck.
“What?” I ask, my voice cold.
She takes my arm and leads me into the hallway, in front of the restrooms. For some reason, I let her. God knows why, because I’m not in the mood to talk to her right now.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “This was stupid. I shouldn’t have texted him, and I shouldn’t have come here.” Tears sting her eyes, and for half a second I feel sorry for her.
“You can do what you like, Darcy,” I mumble. “I made it clear that we can’t be together, so if this is what you want—”
“But this isn’t what I want,” she blurts out. “I thought I could make you jealous by pretending to be interested in Rick.”
“Which is a very childish thing to do,” I point out. “Which is funny, because your big speech yesterday centered around how you’re an adult. I must say, I’m not seeing it. All this has done is made me realize I did the right thing in ending us before we went any further.”
“I knew this was stupid,” she whispers. “I knew it the second I sent that text. I just wanted to get your attention.”
“Well, you did that. Congratulations.” I shrug my arm from her grasp. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going home.”
I turn around and walk out, not looking back. It kills me, because I believe she’s sorry, and I believe she regretted it the second she put this plan in motion, but it doesn’t change anything. I’ve worked too hard to throw my career away on something that might not even work out. I’ve known this girl for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what will happen in six months or six years. I can’t throw away six years of hard work for something I’m not sure is going to last.
And if I take our relationship any further, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop it.
Chapter Twelve
Darcy
I walk back over to the guys, where Cindy is the center of attention and sink into my seat. She’s laughing, while Rick and Max—I think his name is—hang off her every word. I’m too angry at myself to care. How could I be so stupid to think this would work? Any tiny chance I had of getting through to him, I’ve ruined.
I try to catch Cindy’s attention to signal to her that I want to go, but it’s impossible. I’m just about to leave and catch a cab when Gary stands up and winks at me.
“Come on. I’ll give you a lift home,” he says, and I smile at him gratefully. “It’s fine, you’re giving me an excuse to leave too,” he whispers.
I walk around the back of Cindy’s chair and lean in close enough to whisper in her ear. “I’m going to go, okay? I’m not feeling too great.”
“Oh no, you poor thing,” she cries, jumping up. “Want me to come with you?”
I shake my head. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself. Just don’t have too much fun,” I warn her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I turn back to Rick. “Can I talk to you for second?”
He nods and gives me a smile. “If this is about you being caught up on Lennon, nothing needs to be said.”
I wince. “Is it that obvious? I’m so sorry, I never should’ve dragged you into this.”
He glances at Cindy. “Actually, if I’m honest, I’m kind of glad you did…”
I laugh. “You’re welcome, then.”
***
Gary stops along the curb in front of my place. I glance at my house. It’s dark, which means my parents are probably sleeping. They think I’m staying at Cindy’s tonight and going to school from there, so I’m expecting to be interrogated about why I’m home so early. I’m half-tempted to try to sneak in through my window. I turn back to Gary and smile.
“Thanks again for bringing me home,” I say.
“Anytime, like I said, I wanted to leave anyway and Rick would’ve given me shit, so really, you helped me more than I helped you,” he chuckles. “So,” he asks, studying my face. “What’s going on with you and Lennon?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t romance always complicated?” he grins. “If he hurts you, let me know and I’ll rough him up.”
“He’s too much of a nice guy to really hurt me,” I laugh, albeit sadly. I hesitate, really wanting to get this off my chest. Gary seems like a good guy, and he’s practically family, right? I’m a little surprised he hasn’t put it together. He must know where Lennon is teaching, considering it’s their old school. And it’s no secret that I go there, considering that was the whole reason we moved across the country.
“Where is Lennon teaching, Gary?” I ask casually.
“Findon, why?” His eyes widen, and I nod slowly. “Oh, shit.”
“Yep, that was pretty much his reaction when he saw me sitting in his classroom,” I admit with a wry smile. He laughs, and I shoot him a look through narrowed eyes.
“I’m sorry, but that’s pretty fucking hilarious,” he says between bursts of laughter. “Lennon would be the last guy I would ever expect to be sleeping with his student.”
I blush. “Trust me, he’s putting up a hell of a fight. I really like him, but I can’t see him ever being okay with this. I even offered to change schools.”
“Wow, you must really like him.”
“I do,” I admit. “And I think he likes me, but I don’t know…”
“The dude hasn’t mentioned his ex since he met you. Trust me, he likes you.” He hesitates then looks at me. “I’ll have a talk to him, okay? Leave it with me.”
I lean over and hug him. “Thanks, Gary. I can see why Casey loves you so much.”
***
Friday, I pretend to be sick because I can’t face seeing Lennon. I’m never sick, and I never try to get out of school, so my story isn’t questioned for a second. Mom even offers to stay home and look after me, but the last thing I want is her hovering over me, so I insisted she go to work.
With a sigh, I slump down on the sofa and make myself comfortable for a whole day where I don’t leave the couch. I turn the TV on and switch it to Netflix, trying to decide which show I’m going to binge watch. I’ve narrowed it down to two choices when my phone pings with a message. I glance at it, my heart pounding when I see his name.
Lennon: You’re not in class. Are you okay?
I b
ite my lip and turn my phone off, tossing it on the floor. I can’t think about him right now. If I do, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. Why does he care, anyway? He made his position very clear last night. Turning my attention back to Netflix, I pick the first thing I see and try to forget about him.
***
One thing I’ve learnt today is that Netflix is addictive—and who said TV never teaches you anything? I watch the first four seasons of The Walking Dead before I even leave the couch. Even then, it’s only to go to the bathroom then grab something to eat.
As I’m taking the last bag of popcorn from the cupboard, I glance at the clock. Holy shit, it’s nearly six. Where the hell did the day go? I hear Mom’s car pull into the garage and groan. Quickly, I turn off the TV and sprint to my room since I know she’ll pick up on what’s really wrong the second she sees my face.
I huddle in my bed with my blankets up around my neck, facing the wall. I hear the door creak open, then a few seconds later it closes. I roll over so I’m lying on my back and stare at the ceiling.
So much has happened in such a short space of time that I don’t know what to think. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to romance. That’s been well established. I like Lennon, probably more than I should, and I thought he liked me enough, too. What if I’m wrong about everything? After what happened with Tyler last year, I’m doubting myself more than I should be.
I think back to how different I am to the person I was back then. Tyler Ramsey was the biggest mistake of my life. I made decisions when I was with him that I’ll regret forever, and although I can’t change how things turned out, I can learn from them. What if this is all just me falling back into the same trap I did back then? An older guy who showed me attention. The only difference is, Lennon isn’t married. Tyler was.
In my defense, I didn’t know he was married. I met him at work, and we clicked. He was quite a few years older than me, but I liked that someone was paying me attention. When he asked me out, I said yes, and before long, we were seeing each other regularly.
It was never in public, and I kept it secret from my family because he convinced me they wouldn’t approve of our age gap. At twenty-five, he was eight years older than me, but he made me feel special when I was going through a difficult time at school.
Then one day when I was at home, a woman knocked on my door.
It was his wife.
His heavily pregnant wife, who was carrying a little girl who couldn’t have been more than two. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me when she asked if I was sleeping with her husband.
If I thought things were bad at school before then, they got worse, and quickly. One of the girls in my class was his wife’s sister, and she made sure everyone knew what a homewrecking whore I was. It made no difference that I didn’t even know he was married. Nobody cared about that.
The final straw came when three girls jumped me on the way home from school. I ended up in the hospital for a week, with broken ribs and a ruptured spleen. I couldn’t go back there after that, so they turned their attacks onto our home. By then, Dad had found work in LA, Mom used her connections to get me into Findon, and it became an obvious decision to move.
I never heard from Tyler again after his wife confronted me. No ‘hey, sorry for ruining your life’, or ‘whoops, I forgot to mention I was married, with kids’. It was like we never happened. He changed his number and I wasn’t game enough to try to confront him at home, so I gave up and moved on. This was my fresh start.
That’s why it’s so scary to feel like I’m fucking it up all over again.
Chapter Thirteen
Lennon
By nine o’clock, I’m beginning to panic. She wasn’t in class, and she won’t answer any of my texts. I left an underage girl in a club with a group of drunk guys. Sure, my friends were there, but Jesus… what was I thinking?
I call Rick, but he claims she left shortly after me, with Gary. I sigh, relieved, until he tells me he ended up spending the night with Darcy’s friend, Cindy. The only Cindy I know of is the one in my class that Darcy is always talking to. She wouldn’t have brought her and risked her recognizing me, would she? I shake my head. That is the least of my worries right now.
Desperate, I call Gary, to see if he knows anything.
“Yeah, I dropped her off at home. Why?”
“She wasn’t in…” My voice trails off, because telling him she wasn’t in school would mean explaining how I know that.
“School?” Gary offers.
“How did you know?” I mutter, rubbing my forehead. I can almost hear the glee in his tone.
“She told me.”
“She told you? What else did she tell you?” I’m getting defensive, but I can’t help it, because I’m expecting Gary to have a go at me.
“Calm down, dude. She likes you. A lot. So, what’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem?” I laugh. “Are you kidding me? I’m her goddamn teacher. You don’t see that as an issue?”
“She’s eighteen,” Gary replies. “It’s not like she’s twelve.”
“That’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if she’s eighteen or twelve,” I cringe at what I just said, because I’m pretty sure it would make a bit of a difference. I sigh and try to put my thoughts into words. “The fact that she’s eighteen doesn’t matter, Gaz. If I was her professor in college and she was twenty-five, it’d be the same thing. I’d have just as much a problem with that scenario.”
“You’ve lost me, man. I don’t get what the big deal is. If you ask me, I think you’re scared after what happened with Stacy and you’re looking for excuses—”
“That’s got nothing to do with it,” I huff. “Why does everyone keep getting on my back about that? How can you not see me being with Darcy as wrong? It’s an abuse of power. If you had an eighteen-year-old daughter who was sleeping with her teacher, you’d be okay with that?”
“I wouldn’t be okay with my daughter sleeping with anyone,” Gary retorts. “So, your argument is ridiculous. Man up and decide what the hell you want, or let the poor girl move on.”
I sigh. If only it was that simple. I know what I want, the problem is, I can’t convince myself that I’m allowed to have it.
“If we were caught out, I’d lose my job. I’d lose my career.”
“Then tell her. That’s a valid reason. Her being eighteen, and this abuse of power bullshit, is not. Tell her you’re scared of losing your job. There’s nothing wrong with that. You think she’s gonna break down and cry because you care more about your job than her? She’s a tough girl, Lennon, but she’s been through a lot. If you want this to work, figure out a way. If not, then stop fucking with her.”
He’s right. “I have to go,” I mutter, and before he can reply, I end the call.
I need to talk to her.
She’s not going to answer my calls or my texts, so there’s only one thing I can do. Go see her. She turned up at my place, why can’t I turn up at hers?
I stand in front of her house, trying to pick which room would be hers. Knocking on the door isn’t an option, because it’s obvious her parents are home, and possibly her brothers if she has any.
My heart races as I walk around the side of the property. I close in on one of the windows and peek inside, shitting myself when I see her mother lying on the sofa, watching TV. I quickly duck out of view and creep along the ground toward the next room. I can barely breathe as I raise my head and peek through a tiny break in the drapes. My heart swells when I see her lying on her bed, lamp on, staring at the ceiling. I watch her for a moment, just enjoying her beauty, before I summon up the courage to tap lightly on the window.
She jumps, bouncing to her feet, her eyes darting around the room. I chuckle to myself because she looks quite funny, then I tap again, this time a little louder. Her eyes narrow as she glances at the window. She walks over and yanks open the drapes. Her mouth drops open when she spots me hovering in the bushes, an embarrassed sm
ile on my face.
She opens the window, just enough for her to peek out and glare at me.
“What the hell are you doing?” she hisses.
“Well, you wouldn’t answer my texts, or my calls, so I took a leaf out of your book and came over,” I say weakly.
“Really?” she crosses her arms over her chest and nods. “And you thought sneaking around outside my window would do the trick?”
“You’re talking to me, aren’t you?” I say, standing upright again. “Now, are you going to let me in?”
Sighing, she lifts the window and lets me inside. I watch her as she closes it, bending over just enough for me to focus on her ass. She turns to face me, her arms defiantly crossed over her chest again.
“If this is about last night…”
“It’s not.” I make a face. “Well, it is, but not in the way you think. I hated seeing you flirt with Rick. It really got to me and made me realize I don’t want to think about you being with anyone else. I really like you, and I want to find a way to make this work.”
“But?” she says, raising her eyebrows.
“I’m scared of losing my job. All we need is for someone to see us and I’m done. I’d never get another teaching job. I’d probably lose my registration. I feel like shit saying this, but I’ve worked too hard to fuck my career up.”
Her expression softens, she sits down on the edge of the bed and nods for me to join her. I do, sliding my hand into hers.
“That, I can understand,” she says. “I’d never want to jeopardize your career, Lennon.”
“So, what do we do now then?”
“My offer still stands,” she says. “I can enroll somewhere else—”
“You’d never get in anywhere this far into the semester, and besides, that’s not fair to you.”
“So, what do you suggest?” she asks.
“That we only see each other on weekends, and never in public. Just until the end of the semester. Then you’ll have graduated, and I’ll have moved on anyway. So even if you fail, we’ll be good,” I joke. She gives me a look, and I laugh. “I’m joking, you’re probably the smartest one in my class.”
Forbidden: A Student Teacher Romance Page 8