Never Loved

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Never Loved Page 22

by Charlotte Stein


  “She’s weird,” I say lamely…futilely, I know.

  “Get over it,” she sneers at me. “You’re out of time and you need someone immediately, since you start practice next week. I’ve been on your ass for weeks to get involved with this decision and you ignored me at every turn. So tough shit…she’s got the job and you’re going to give her a chance, you hear me?”

  Damn…Sometimes I really can’t stand my older sister. I have the sudden urge to stick my tongue out at her over the phone, but deep down…I know she’s right. I’ve been checked out mentally since the accident and depended on her way too much to handle this shit. Now I’m stuck with it.

  “Fine,” I grumble at her as I rub my fingers hard along my jaw. I had just decided to shave my beard off this morning and my face feels so…so…naked.

  “Good,” she says, completely happy with herself. “Now, I’ve got to go. I love you.”

  “Back at ya,” I mutter, and then hang up on her, knowing she’s wearing a self-satisfied grin on her face.

  Shoving my phone into my pocket, I exit my office and make my way back downstairs. When I reach the first floor, Kate is nowhere to be found.

  For a split moment, relief swells through me as I’m thinking she got the message that I wasn’t comfortable with her and she left. But then I hear movement in the kitchen and I head toward the noise with dread.

  When I round the corner, I find her standing at the griddle, casually flipping bacon, with two new pancakes poured and sizzling to the side. Her head turns slightly to look at me and she pins me with a direct stare. “Thought I’d finish your breakfast for you. You look like a six-pancake type of guy. After I finish yours, I’ll do a Mickey Mouse pancake for Ben.”

  My mouth sort of hangs open as I watch her nonchalantly cooking in my kitchen. She’s been in my house for all of five minutes at most, and she’s fucking cooking breakfast in my kitchen.

  In Gina’s kitchen, rather. This was never my domain, as evidenced by the burn on my arm.

  Anger wells inside me and I have the sudden and insane urge to pull her away from the task. I want to yell at her that this was Gina’s role, not hers, and it’s completely unfair that she’s standing in that position right now.

  Instead, I hear the thumping of little feet as Ben comes bounding down the second staircase that leads from the other side of the second floor down into the kitchen.

  “Is breakfast ready, Dad?” he asks as he rounds the island counter. His eyes are on me, but then he notices Kate. She turns to give him a smile and says, “Hey, buddy. Remember me?”

  Ben’s eyes flare wide with recognition, and then he utterly flays my heart open when his lips pull back into a massive and deliriously happy grin.

  “Kate,” he practically screams, and launches himself at her. His face presses into the side of her thigh and his little arms wrap tight around her legs. “Aunt Delaney said you’d be back.”

  She immediately picks him up and steps three feet away from the hot griddle, efficiently reaching back to flip it off. “Whoa, little man. Can’t have you acting all crazy like that around the hot plate,” she scolds gently, then tickles his belly.

  I stare stupidly at the two of them; they’re completely taken with each other. She’s obviously a fucking natural with kids, clearly diligent in looking out for their safety, and calmly able to multitask. It reminds me so much of Gina and the calm surety with which she was just able to handle everything, a longing pain hits me deep in my chest.

  And it makes me fucking hate her as she impinges on my memories of Gina.

  I take a deep breath, because my need to tear my son out of her arms and fling her out the door is starting to overwhelm me. She stands there laughing with Ben as he puts his little hands on her shoulders and babbles about a remote-control car I bought him a few days ago. He is absolutely and completely at ease with her, which is something I haven’t seen from him since Gina died. He’s okay around me and Delaney, as well as our neighbor Michelle, who was good friends with Gina. Michelle has a four-year-old son, Beau, so she, Gina, Ben, and Beau would spend a lot of time with one another. But since Gina died, he’s been leery of strangers and it takes a while for him to warm up to them.

  Not so with this girl, though.

  He seems to fucking love her already.

  Defeat settles in and I know she’s here to stay. I tamp down my bitterness, push my anger aside, and take one more deep breath. For Ben’s sake, I’m going to give this a shot. For Ben’s sake, I’m going to tolerate Kate.

  At least for now.

  Love stories you’ll never forget

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