by Casey Elliot
“Why the pier, then?” he asked.
We sat down on the bench table outside the shop, and I leaned against the table top and watched the waves beat and retreat from the shore.
“He loved this place,” I said. “But, most of all, he loved the area below the pier. He used to go there any time he needed a place to hide out… when my dad was being a prick, when my mom was being fussy.” I smiled… “when I was being annoying.”
Slade’s eyes were dark, as he looked over at the ocean as well. The salty air stung at my eyes… or maybe, those were tears. I hastily wiped my eyes on my sleeve and turned away from Slade.
“He was a good man,” Slade said. “He didn’t deserve any of this.”
I laughed and poked his arm. “I thought you said we weren’t going to say anything until the last stop?”
He shrugged, taking another bite of his cream-sicle.
Slade was a man of few words, and I liked that about him. His quiet confidence, though at times seemed quite broody, was probably what my brother had liked about him too. Joel had loved to talk. All day and all night, he could have chatted. I could picture Joel and Slade here. Joel would be telling stories, making gestures with his hands, smiling like an idiot; Slade would nod along, listening and thinking about whatever it was that he thought about.
Like my brother would have done, I started to talk to Slade about the things going on in my life. At first, the look he gave me made me think he was going to stop me… that he was going to tell me he didn’t care, but he let me get it all out—how I’d been fired from my summer job for throwing a drink in a rude customer’s face after I’d learned of Joel’s death; how I didn’t really know what it was I wanted from life anymore; how I felt so lonely in my own home. I hadn’t meant to tell him so much, but it all just kind of poured out of me. It was like a spout had been turned on, and everything in my life flowed out. There was the good, the bad. There was the humorous. I talked to Slade for over an hour, receiving few responses, but somehow knowing that he was listening.
Then, I saw that the tide had gone out.
“I guess we can get going now,” I said. “These ashes aren’t going to spread themselves.”
Slade
I was not a guy that people generally thought to share their thoughts with. I gave off a definite “don’t fuck with me” vibe most of the time, and that was how I liked it. People told me the essentials and went on with their day… most of the time.
It had never been like that with Joel. Since the first time I met him, he’d constantly been blabbing in my ear. I had been a moody teenager with a chip on my shoulder, and he had been a skinny brace-face, much like his sister at her graduation. We shouldn’t have ever been friends. But then, he’d come at me with his theories about the afterlife, and wondering if we were alone in the universe, and I’d let him in because he helped ease the ache in my soul.
Now, his sister was doing it to me as well. If it had been anyone else, I probably would have just told them to shut up. I didn’t have time to listen to the ramblings of a girl I’d likely never see again, even if she was as hot as Lexa was. Even as that thought crossed my mind though, I realized there was a part of me that did want to see her again after all this. Joel had been the only string connecting us, and now, I wanted to find another… which was dumb, so I was glad when the tide went out and Lexa shut her mouth.
She led me onto the wet sand beneath the pier and onto a little jut of rocks near the water’s edge. It was riddled with tidal pools, and I watched her smile as she looked in each one, pointing out the different anemones and other shit that I didn’t care about. I liked watching her though; watching the light in her face.
“Where’s Joel going?” I asked.
She stood from where she’d been squatting next to a sea star, and slid the pack off her back. The silver urn gleamed as she pulled it out. I still wasn’t used to seeing it.
“All over these rocks,” she said. “And then, when the tide comes back up, the sea can slowly lick him away. I think he would like that.”
She pulled the lid off, and I walked next to her as she began to sprinkle it in the wind, pieces of dust swirling and flying away from us, covering the rocks. I hated to admit it, but it was fucking beautiful.
I turned to look at her face as she finished and closed the lid, slipping the urn back into her bag. Unshed tears glistened in the corner of her eyes like diamonds. I felt a strong urge to pull her into my arms and protect her from anything else that could hurt her… which was just as dumb as my earlier thoughts about her.
She looked up at me, smiling as she blinked away the tears. “Only one more place left.”
“Where’s that?”
“Big Barry’s,” she said. “It’s a bar on the outskirts of town. It was my brother’s favorite place to drink, even after we moved away.”
“I know,” I said. “I used to go there with him.” Then, I quirked my eyebrow. “What the hell are we going to do there?”
She smiled at me before brushing past me toward the road. “What do you think?” she called behind her. “Get shitfaced, of course.”
Chapter Four
Lexa was silent the whole way back to the bike. By that point, we both needed a drink. I wasn’t sure what she planned to do with Joel’s ashes there, but I trusted that she had a plan. Her arms seemed to squeeze tighter around me as we rolled up to the bar. It was the early afternoon, but there were people there already. There were always people at this place.
I smiled as we dismounted, remembering all the times that Joel had pulled me out here after training. It was pretty far away from base for a drink, I’d always said, but he said that it was his favorite all the same. He was a weird guy; I missed that.
A few of the guys looked at Lexa as we walked in. I didn’t like it. I slung my arm around her shoulders and gave each of them a hard stare, as if my eyes were saying one word: Mine.
Lexa looked up at me, but didn’t shrug me off.
“Don’t like the way they’re looking at you, Ginger,” I murmured down to her.
She flushed. “Thanks.”
We got the table at the back that Joel always tried to snag. He’d carved our initials into the seat after we’d finished basic training, and I thumbed the rough wood edges and shook my head.
“What?” Lexa asked.
I looked up at her, her big, blue eyes aching to hear something about her brother… anything. I wondered if she would be able to get on without him as long as there was still a story to hear or a story to tell.
“Joel never told me why he loved this place so much,” I said. “He insisted on coming down here any time he could… said it was his lucky bar.”
Lexa smiled, nodding. “I actually got it out of him one night,” she said. “Right before he left for tour.”
“So?”
She bit her lip. “It was where he met Dawn.”
Things clicked together in my head; Dawn… the love of his life. He’d both gotten her and lost her in the same year. She was a girl with terminal cancer who went down swinging. I’d never actually met her. I’d been on tour when they met, and she was too ill for visitors by the time I got back. But, I could tell how much he loved her.
“Why’d he come back here after?” I asked. “Seems like he’d only be torturing himself.”
Dawn had died four years ago. I’d been to Big Barry’s with Joel many times since then.
“He spread some of her ashes here,” Lexa said. “I think he felt closer to her when he was back here… like she wasn’t gone.”
And now, they’d be together again. That was the kind of poetry Joel would’ve loved.
The waitress, a surly looking woman in her mid-forties, came around for our orders. We got a couple beers and a big plate of nachos, and then she headed back off of the floor.
“So, where is the actual spreading occurring?” I asked. “Where’d he put Dawn?”
A bar seemed like a weird place to spread ashes, but I supposed th
at was Joel’s kind of thing.
Lexa smiled and gestured to the corner of the room. I turned and saw the big stone fireplace, which I’d always thought was out of place in here. Besides, it didn’t work.
“The fireplace?” I asked quizzically, turning back around. “His final resting place is going to be in the broken fireplace of a shitty bar in the middle of nowhere?”
“And, the backyard of his childhood home… and on the rocks under the pier on his favorite beach,” she corrected, smiling devilishly. “Now, we just have to find a way to do this.”
I looked around the room, taking stock. The waitress and the bartender were the only members of staff, and she more or less disappeared into the kitchen unless she was taking drink orders. He, on the other hand, sat on a stool looking even grumpier than the waitress, watching football on the TV. There were a few patrons playing pool—the ones that had eyed Lexa on the way in—and a few guys sitting at the bar. I assessed that the fireplace was visible to at least half of the people in the room.
“Are we going to dump and run?” I asked, figuring anything less would get us caught.
Lexa shook her head. “We just ordered our drinks, Slade,” she said. Using my name caused a thrill to run through me. I wanted to make her say it again… and again.
“What’s your plan then, Ginger?” I said, leaning toward her. “Gonna do an elaborate striptease while I put old Joel to rest?”
“Thought about it,” she said, shrugging. Her eyes turned to me, shining with mischief. God, the things I would do to her. “But, I think our best option is to just ask.”
I laughed, dipping my head back. She wouldn’t ask a family if she could dump some ashes in their yard, but she’d ask one of the angriest bar staff I’d ever seen?
“Go for it,” I said, waving my hand.
She grinned and stood from her seat, mincing over to the bar. I watched her talk with the bartender, leaning over seductively and staring deep into his eyes. I watched the grin sneak up on his face. Then, he looked very sad. Finally, he gave a little nod, and Lexa came back, triumphant.
“Alright, Slade,” she said. “Let’s give my brother some peace.”
Chapter Five
“To Joel,” Lexa said, raising her frothing pint of beer. Her eyes were rimmed with red, but she blinked them back. She’d probably cried enough in the last couple of weeks to fill a swimming pool. I doubted I’d be seeing any more. “He was a great brother,” she continued. “A good man, and a soldier to the bone.”
I raised my glass as well. “To Joel,” I said. “The craziest, best man I ever knew, and the man who saved my life.” We clinked glasses, and I took a sip.
Lexa looked at me, shocked. “He saved your life?” she asked quietly.
I cocked my head. “He never told you?”
She shook her head at me.
I chuckled, looking down at my glass. “That’s just like him,” I said. “Saved a man’s life and never cared about the credit.”
Then, I told her the story—about how me and some guys were under fire, and Joel pulled it away long enough for us to escape. I told her how after he miraculously made it out untouched as well, he had acted as if it was just another normal day at the office. He’d come back after we’d chased the insurgents off, covered in dirt, and started cracking jokes to us. I told her about all the stupid practical jokes he used to play, and about the time he jumped out of the convoy as it went through a village, so that he could help some kids inflate their soccer ball. I told her how he was the best man I ever knew, and I struggled with the idea that one roadside bomb was enough to kill him.
For the first time ever, I talked and Lexa listened.
Lexa
We were both very drunk… well, I was. I’d done the math, and Slade should have been very drunk too, but he seemed more or less unaffected, or maybe, that was his drunk face. I couldn’t tell.
We got a cab back to the motel, and he helped me as I swayed up the stairs to our room. His hand on my back was electric, and I ached for him deep in my bones. There was nothing in the world that I wanted at that moment as much as Slade Ronan.
When we got in the room, I turned to him, doing what I hoped was an alluring smile.
He laughed. “Get into bed, Ginger,” he commanded, pointing.
I swayed toward him, keeping my eyes on his as best as I could. “Make me.”
It was a poor attempt at seduction, I admit. My drunken arsenal never really consisted of much more than that. And anyway, it was certainly having some kind of effect. Slade’s eyes grew dark with lust, and I saw his fingers twitch as if he was itching to reach out and grab me.
“You’re drunk, Ginger,” he said. “I might be an asshole, but I’ve got some morals.”
I pouted, doing my best to look innocent and seductive. “Don’t you want me?”
In a flash, I was pressed against the wall. Slade’s arms fenced me in, and his face was lowered toward mine. His eyes were hot. God, everything about him was hot. Was he actually going to kiss me? I didn’t know if I could handle that kind of searing heat.
“Believe me, Ginger,” he murmured. “I want you.” He pushed away from the wall and strode toward the bed. “But, I’ll not have you when you’re shitfaced.”
I sighed, feeling my body throbbing everywhere. I was so turned on that I didn’t know if I’d be able to sleep; still, it seemed like that was the only thing to do.
I got into bed and turned off the light, not bothering to change into pajamas. I was going home tomorrow anyway, and I wasn’t sure I could manage taking off my pants without falling over. I tried to ignore the desire to sneak over to Slade’s side of the bed. I didn’t think I could take any more rejection.
Chapter Six
For the second morning in a row, I woke up in Slade’s arms. The first morning, all I’d had to do was pretend to be asleep while he extricated himself. Today, it seemed that would not be the case. I wanted to get up and go get us some coffee, and apologize for how I’d been the night before. I couldn’t remember an awful lot, except being turned down by Slade after making a right fool of myself.
I slowly began to shimmy away under the sheets, hoping the drop of his arm to the mattress wouldn’t wake him up. I never even got that far.
His hold tightened and dragged me back, his chest against my spine. “Where do you think you’re going?” he purred into my ear.
With just those words, my body came to life; heart racing, blood pumping, heat flashing everywhere.
“To get us some coffee?” I squeaked.
He laughed darkly against my neck, securing his hold around my middle. “You tested my restraint last night, Ginger,” he said, his lips fluttering against my skin as he did.
The sensation ran through me and I sighed, leaning back against him. I could already feel him hardening against my butt. Oh God, did his body feel good against mine. It was like being locked in a steel cage.
“Did I?” I asked innocently.
His lips moved against my skin again. “That wasn’t very nice of you.”
I arched back into him and he growled. “What are you going to do about it?” I asked.
He spun me around so quickly my heart stopped. His lips crashed down on mine, pulling me against him as his mouth devoured me. I was breathless, speechless. My heart hammered in my chest as I returned the kiss hungrily, tasting him… feeling him. His hands pressed against my back, pushing me closer… tighter. Our bodies were one under the white cotton sheets.
I felt so secure. I felt so alive. My whole body tingled as I kissed him, and the rest of the world just slipped away. His lips moved to my neck, scraping stubble against the sensitive skin of my throat. I moaned and dipped my head back, giving him full access and full permission to do what he wanted, and what he wanted was very clear.
I reached my hand down and cupped him through his pants, feeling how hard and heavy he was. He sighed against my neck, sending shivers through me.
“Are you sure you want
this, Ginger?” he asked.
“Yes.”
His hands found the bottom of my shirt, ripping it off and tossing it away. My bra followed. As the cool morning air hit my nipples, another shiver wracked my body. I was both hot and cold, each sensation fighting for dominance on the battlefield of my body.
His hands moved to cup my breasts as he kissed me again, rolling on top of me and grinding his hips into mine. I arched up, offering my body to him. His rough hands on my skin were divine, his lips on mine exquisitely sinful. I felt heat pool between my thighs, and I rubbed against the friction of my jeans.
Slade pulled away to look at me, his eyes dark as they had been last night. How could I remember that, but not that he wanted me too? Then, he pulled his shirt off and dipped down to kiss me again.
My hands roamed his back, feeling the sinuous muscle flex under his skin. God, he was hot. I could have touched him all day.
His hands moved to my zipper and pulled my jeans and panties off in one elegant jerk. It was clear that he’d done this before, many times… fine with me. It wasn’t like I was a virgin. His pants soon followed, and then we were naked together. When I felt his cock on my stomach, I had to glance down and look at it. It was impressive.
When I looked back up, he was smirking; the cocky bastard. I opened my mouth to chastise him for being so cocky, but the next second, he was filling me. All that came out was a low moan instead. He slid in slowly, shuddering when our hips met. Then, he pulled back, and began to thrust.
I was on another plane. As our hips rocked back and forth, the bed could have been on fire and I wouldn’t have noticed. Who was I kidding? The bed probably was on fire. That was the only explanation for the amount of heat between us.
His mouth sought mine, nipping and sucking on my lips as he grunted with his thrusts. I kept rhythm, pushing my hips up off the bed to meet his. The tension within me grew until I was so close that I could taste the sweetness of release on my tongue. I wrapped my legs around his hips, and he began to thrust harder, faster. The change of pace sent me spiraling over the edge, and I screamed as pleasure buffeted me, dragging me out of my skin.