Quickly she grasped James’s hand. “Get me out of here, please,” she whimpered. He was thrown into a state of shock. She tapped a few people on the shoulder and waved a half-hearted goodbye, not stopping to care about those she missed, just wanting to escape.
James helped her into her jacket before ushering her out the door and onto the street. Unsteady on her feet, somehow Anna managed to scramble into the front seat without saying a word. The whole trip to the hotel, not a word was spoken. Anna was frozen in her spot, sobbing steadily. James drove in silence, every few moments stealing a glance in her direction, confusion etched into his face as to what could have happened to make her that unhappy.
***
James
James’s mind was going a million miles an hour while Anna’s seemed to have stopped functioning altogether. She had fallen into an almost catatonic state. She looked numb. James pulled into the parking garage and switched off the ignition.
He looked over at Anna, reaching out to gently put his hand on her elbow. “Sweetheart, we’re here,” he said, no louder than a whisper, but she failed to react. Her eyes that had earlier this evening been filled with love and happiness were now empty and distant. While physically Anna may have been only a few feet from him, emotionally she might as well have been on the moon. Anna had vanished and now all that remained was an empty shell.
James climbed out and walked around and opened Anna’s door. Still she remained motionless. Reaching in, he unlatched her seatbelt and scooped her up into his arms. She didn’t flinch or even acknowledge him. Gently, as though she was made of glass, he tried to back out of the car. He almost bumped his own head on the roof, but Anna still failed to show any signs of life.
He carried her up to the room but still she remained silent. Delicately, James laid her in the centre of the king size bed and stepped back. Anna just curled into the foetal position. She was broken. Somehow, his sweet Anna had been broken. As he watched her with concerned eyes, he realised she was completely unaware of her surroundings. “What can I do?” he almost begged, praying for some kind of reaction, any kind of reaction. It didn’t matter as long as she moved, made a sound, looked as though she was still in there. But he got nothing.
Panic swamped James. How was he supposed to bring her out of this? How could he save her? What the hell happened? Who did this? James was trying his best to understand, but he just couldn’t. Anna had completely shut down and in doing so shut him out. Nothing he did reached her. Anna was stopping him from saving her. Unsure of what else he could try, James ran her a hot bubble bath.
The hotel suite was exquisite. No expense had been spared. It was a five star luxurious hotel, with views to die for. They had a room on the top floor overlooking the glistening green lake and fountain which dotted the air with a white froth. The room itself had a separate lounge dining room, a king size bed, a double spa bath as well as the biggest television James had ever seen. Each day someone would come in and arrange fresh towels in the bathroom, put crisp clean sheets on the bed, and arrange bright, beautiful bouquets of flowers on the table.
James didn’t know what to do next. He was completely out of his element. Willing to try anything once, he switched on the spa and watched as it began to spew bubbles into the fragrant water. James himself felt putrid. He stank of cigarette smoke and he knew he was in desperate need of a shower. The stench of the smoke from the club had penetrated his clothes and was trapped in the pores of his tanned skin. He knew Anna must have been feeling the same, if she could feel anything at all. Her thick hair was filled with the smell, and smiling to himself, James remembered almost gagging as he carried her upstairs. Desperate, he again tried to talk to her but she just stayed still, trapped in herself.
“Anna, did you want a bath? It will make you feel better, sweetheart.” James was trying his best not to smother her but he was beyond desperate. At last, a reaction! James never thought he would be so excited to see someone lift their head and look up at him with sad, tear-filled eyes.
“Mmm,” was all Anna managed to murmur. But that didn’t disappoint him. Nothing could. He’d gotten a reaction. And for the first moment since he’d put her in the car James felt like he was making progress. Maybe his Anna wasn’t completely lost to him.
James sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and removed Anna’s shoes. He was so sincerely concerned that he couldn’t pull his eyes from her. Sweat dotted his brow as he sucked in a deep breath. And when Anna sat up and reached for James’s hand his heart missed a beat and he felt like he was falling. With his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined, Anna’s face broke into a half-hearted smile. Slowly, she lifted his hands to her lips and lightly kissed each of his fingertips. One by one. James’s strong, calloused hands were warm against her soft cheek. And as James exhaled the breath he’d been holding, he realised everything would be okay. No matter what happened they could survive this. They would survive this. Together. The way it was supposed to be.
Refusing to break the connection now he had her back, James couldn’t help himself. In one fluid motion he swept Anna up into his arms and carried her across the room in a few short strides. When he put her down Anna’s shaky legs barely supported her, but somehow she managed to hold her own. The bathroom smelt like vanilla, overpowering the stench of cigarettes.
It was just after midnight when Anna lay sleeping soundly in James’s arms. Lying there in the darkness, Anna snoring softly beside him, James couldn’t help but feel disappointed by the way the day had turned out. He’d hoped for a nice, quiet, romantic dinner for just the two of them but instead it had ended in silent tears and a void that James wasn’t sure he could hurdle.
Rolling over, James glanced at the clock. It was already after two and he was still wide awake. The dreaded alarm would go off in only a few short hours and drag his weary body back to the pool. And as much as the thought of turning it off appealed, James knew that to be the best you had to put in the effort, which meant getting up at stupid o’clock and following the black line. Besides, when Anna was her normal self again she would kick his arse if she found out he skipped a training session. Especially if Anna had any inkling he missed it on her account.
Chapter 2
Anna
“Good morning! It’s five-thirty and you are listening to…” the alarm broke through the silence and both Anna and James were jolted awake. Anna was such a light sleeper it was only normal she’d woken. On any normal day Anna would have been up and off to training with James, but today was different. Or so he thought.
Anna was first out of bed and dressed quickly in her usual uniform: baggy navy track pants, sweater, and trainers. Her hair was already pulled back into a tight braid before James had even managed to pry open his tired eyes.
“What are you doing? Go back to bed, Anna,” James encouraged wearily, his arms flailing about.
“What do you think? I’m coming to training. I do it every morning. Why would today be any different?” Anna replied honestly. She was already on the floor working on her crunches.
“I just thought…” James suddenly stopped.
Anna looked at James and was overcome with guilt. He looked exhausted. He had dark black bags under his eyes. To Anna, he looked as though he’d only slept for a matter of minutes and needed another month of sleep just to catch up.
Without another objection, James dragged his slow, sleep deprived, sluggish body from under the covers and pulled on his clothes.
Driving to the pool they were both silent, lost in their thoughts. Anna stared blankly out the window. It was still dark and the streetlights looked more like fairy lights dotting the early morning sky. The grass was covered in a blanket of thick white frost; it reminded her of something from a children’s Christmas movie.
Anna pictured herself as a little eight-year-old girl with short brown curly hair and red rosy cheeks. She was wrapped in a pink jacket with matching scarf and beanie. Anna saw herself standing in the middle of the yard, pretending the
frost was snow while she tried to make snowballs to throw at her brother. To Anna it felt as though this was more like a memory than a hallucination. It was so vivid, so real. She could see it all unfolding in front of her. She felt the chill in her bones. Anna’s little brother was wearing his blue jacket and matching gloves, while their parents watched from the bay windows, sipping their coffee.
“You sure you’re okay?” James’s voice snapped Anna out of her trance and back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Anna said, as she looked over at him and smiled. Anna wasn’t mad he had interrupted her train of thought, but in a strange way it made her kind of sad. She wished she could see what would happen next to the beautiful little girl and her brother.
She turned her head back and her focus was once again out the window. Anna sat and watched as the houses passed. Soon enough they arrived at the pool and as they did every day, Anna walked straight into the gym to begin her work out. When they first started training together they made a mutual decision they wouldn’t talk to each other while they were there. This was a place for training and exercise, not a place for socialising.
This time of morning was Anna’s favourite for working out. The gym was deserted and quiet. She could do her own thing, her own way, in her own time. It was the time of day that Anna felt most at peace. And it was when Anna allowed her imagination to consume her. Instantly her mind would take her on exotic journeys to the ends of the earth. Growing up Anna couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. She had done so much and tried so many different things, things many of her friends had never been allowed to. Experiences others fought for, and Anna was thankful for that. Yet it was Anna’s vivid imagination that provided her with her greatest escape. And now, here in the empty gym, Anna once again allowed her mind to completely consume her.
Without hesitation Anna stepped straight onto the treadmill and began to run. Her mornings, just like James’s, had become an extremely predictable routine, but that fact never seemed to worry her. Anna led a very safe life, one without much variation or chance of surprise. Anna enjoyed knowing at least one thing in her life was standard and wouldn’t change. Change terrified her. But by combining her routine with her colourful imagination, Anna found she never became bored. It was the perfect combination.
Anna knew as she pushed through her second kilometre James was undoubtedly lapping up and down the pool under the watchful eye of his coach. They’d been together since James was only eight years old and bellyflopping into the pool. They had been through a lot together and developed an almost indestructible friendship. Together they had faced drug allegations, swimsuit controversies, media backlash, and even sponsorship nightmares but the good far outweighed the bad. Together they had risen to the pinnacle of success. With his steady hand and guidance, James had become an Olympic gold medallist, world record holder, Australian titleholder, and won many school swimming carnival events. Each morning, while Anna was pushing herself harder and harder, James swam eight to ten kilometres. Each lap he tried to push himself harder than the lap before. Anna knew even after all this time together, James still loved the idea through all the predictability of their lives he still had it in him to leave Anna speechless when he emerged from the pool and still had energy to burn.
“Good morning,” a gravelly male voice said, making Anna almost jump out of her skin in shock.
“Morning,” she said, turning to see who it was.
As her eyes settled on the raspy voice, Anna quickly concluded he was most definitely an athlete, and not a bad looking one at that. For almost a whole second she forgot she was going to soon become Mrs. James Thompson.
“How did you get in here?” he inquired, raising a quizzical eyebrow.
“I came with a friend. He’s in the pool. Why?” Anna heard herself say it but it was too late to take it back. Why had she called James her ‘friend’? He was her fiancé.
“No need to get defensive, Princess,” he said. “Just asking. I’m Trent.” Anna’s first impression of the man standing before her was that he was extremely polite and deeply intriguing. There was something in his crooked smile made Anna’s heart skip a beat. His penetrating deep ocean blue eyes and his dirty blond hair completed the picture of the handsome and mesmerising stranger.
“Anna,” she said, extending her hand to shake his. His hands were warm and soft. A heat rushed through her body and she began to think things she knew she shouldn’t be thinking. She had the feeling somehow they already knew each other. She was completely comfortable standing with him as the sense of déjà vu ran riot through her body. At almost six and a half feet Anna knew if she had met him before there was no way she could have ever forgotten him, even if she had wanted to.
“When you finish, why don’t you let me buy you breakfast?” He smiled again, his warm panty dropping smile.
“Excuse me?” Anna asked, bewildered.
“The kiosk is just in the next building. Why don’t you let me buy you a juice or a fruit salad or something? Everyone has to eat,” he explained hopefully.
“I’m sorry,” Anna began, instantly regretting not being upfront about her relationship with James. “I’m here with my fiancé. We’re headed out for breakfast when we finish up. Sorry.”
“Oh, okay then,” he replied, looking defeated. But before she had a chance to apologise, he added, “Well, I’ll let you get back to your workout then. It was very nice to meet you, Anna,” before turning and heading in the opposite direction.
“You too,” she mumbled to no one in particular.
A few minutes later James appeared at her side. He had finished his swim earlier than usual and had come to annoy her. His dripping wet hair was plastered across his face, sticking to his forehead. He had already showered and changed and was waiting for Anna to finish so they could return to the hotel.
“Hey, looking good.” He smiled, playfully smacking her bottom.
“Don’t be smart, boy.” Anna laughed back at him. James flashed a cheeky little smile, which made Anna instantly nervous. “What? What are you up to?”
“Well…” James grinned. He whisked her up in his arms and threw her over his shoulder like she was a rag doll. Anna was squirming and demanding he put her down at once, but James was laughing too loudly to hear her pleas. He pushed his way through the doors and out onto the pool deck.
“What are you doing? James?” Anna knew instantly what he was planning. “Please don’t,” she begged, “I was always nice to you. Please…”
“Anna, would I ever hurt you?” James laughed manically. He stood on the edge of the pool, still with Anna squirming on his shoulder and didn’t hesitate. He jumped in. They were both fully clothed, shoes and all, and now they were in the pool. The rest of James’s squad were standing on the edge laughing hysterically.
Anna looked up and saw everyone crowded around clutching their stomachs as they laughed thunderously. They hardly believed what they had just seen. “That’s it, boy. You are going down,” Anna promised as she pushed herself up on his shoulders. When he didn’t budge, she let go and tried to swim away. Anna wasn’t the best swimmer, but it was made even harder by her clothes weighing her down. Even though she got a head start on James she knew she stood no chance. She looked up at the squad hopefully and yelled, “You know, you guys could help me.” They just laughed even harder.
James caught her and pushed her head under the water, pretending to drown her. “Help me,” Anna pleaded again, looking up at the team with wide, hopeful eyes. They all stopped laughing, looked at each other, and dived in. Anna used the commotion to sneak out of the pool. Within minutes Anna was drying herself off and watching as James and the rest of the squad tried desperately to drown each other. Suddenly she was flooded with emotions. Anna was disappointed her friends couldn’t see this. This was James being a regular guy—having fun with his friends, laughing, and joking; being young and carefree. This was the James she knew. This was the James she loved.
As Anna stood there,
drying herself and watching all the fun a hand gripped her elbow. Shocked, Anna stepped backwards clumsily, almost slipping over in her wet runners. Trent was standing there, staring at her. His hooded eyes were so intense that Anna thought he was undressing her with them.
“Hey again.” She smiled, wringing some of the water out of her hair.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked bluntly.
“Tell you what?”
“That your ‘friend’ was James Thompson,” he said. His voice was flat and he sounded hurt, which surprised Anna more than anything he actually said.
“Why does it matter who he is?”
“You know exactly why it matters. I looked at you in the gym and I felt the sparks between us. I know you felt it too. The way you were looking at me, making me feel like I actually had a chance when I never did. I mean, how could I? Your ‘friend’ is one of the world’s best swimmers, with everything a girl could want. Except you maybe,” he snorted with distaste.
Anna wanted to reach her hand out and slap him, just to wipe that smirk right off his face. “Meaning?” she dared him.
“Well, if you’re looking at me like that, what’s James Thompson missing? If you look at other men, it’s quite obvious James isn’t giving you everything you want. Or everything you need.” He wasn’t at all what Anna had concluded in the gym. He was arrogant, conceited, and obnoxious. He was trying to get under her skin and she knew it.
Perfection Is Just an Illusion (Swimming Upstream #1) Page 3