She sniffed back the tears. ‘I just hate seeing you like this. Every day for the last few weeks, you’ve been coming home miserable.’ She felt disappointment settle as she knew her whole revelation of being pregnant was not going to go as planned now. ‘And you know I try my hardest to earn more. I’m trying my best and I promise I will try harder to make more money so that I can help out more. I’m getting there.’ She hated this argument. They bickered regularly and every single time the argument came back to money and how she didn’t contribute as much as he did. And she felt really shit about it.
‘I know, I’m sorry. It’s just things are pretty hectic and today Betty walked out, leaving me with no receptionist and a shed load of meetings planned for next week…’
‘Oh no!’ she gasped. ‘Why did she walk out?’ Pippa liked Betty.
‘Who knows? She said she’d had enough of being treated the way she was and that she was done. She just stood up and left. Just like that. No word of warning, no letter of resignation, just… gone.’
‘Honey, I’m sorry.’ She rubbed his arm, but again, he didn’t react. ‘But maybe I can cheer you up?’
A smile immediately crept across his face as he sat back down on the sofa and leaned into her, sliding his hand along her thigh and nuzzling into her neck. ‘No, wait, I didn’t mean that,’ Pippa smiled as she gently pushed him off. ‘Wait here, I’ve got something that might make you smile.’ She jumped up and ran into the kitchen, opening her handbag and rummaging for the card.
‘Shall I just meet you upstairs?’ he called out, innuendo screaming from his comment.
‘No, wait there. I’m coming.’ She grabbed the card and in one swift movement, slid it behind her back to hide. She walked into the living room with the biggest smile plastered across her cheeks. She couldn’t wait to see his face. ‘Are you ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be,’ came the response and he held out his hands.
She placed the card into them and squeaked like a mouse as she sat down next to him again. ‘Go on, open it.’
‘It’s not my birthday, Pip.’ He eyed the card suspiciously.
‘It’s not a birthday card.’
He looked at her in confusion. ‘Well, what is it, then?’
‘Just open it and find out!’
He thumbed the envelope open and stared at the Surprise! text. Another glance to her with knitted eyebrows indicated just how baffled he was.
‘Go on…’ she prompted. The excitement was just too much. Swarms of butterflies circled inside her tummy as the anticipation grew. Seven years she had waited for this moment. Seven years she had spent reading textbooks and looking online and planning every second of her dream pregnancy and now was the time.
He opened the card and read the words. Silence. He didn’t move for what felt like minutes, though it was probably only a few seconds. Slowly he looked up at her. ‘Are you serious?’
She nodded, hardly able to contain her excitement. ‘Yes.’
He looked back down to the card and then placed his head in his hands. Pippa instantly switched from elation to disappointment. ‘What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?’
He hesitated before saying, ‘Of course I am.’
‘Well, it doesn’t look like you are.’ The tears were welling again.
He shook his head. ‘I am. It’s just not great timing, with everything going on at work. But it’s fine, we’ll get through it. It’s fine.’
Pippa couldn’t hide her disappointment. She took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling. This wasn’t how this scenario was meant to play out. In her head he had been up and screaming with elation. Jumping around, holding her tight and saying how he couldn’t believe, after this many years, that he was finally about to become a daddy.
But no. He didn’t do any of that. He hadn’t even given her a hug. She slid along the sofa towards him and held out her arms.
‘Sorry baby, come here.’ He pulled her in for the cuddle she longed for but it didn’t feel sincere. It felt forced, like he didn’t mean it. ‘We’ll get through this, it’ll be fine. I just need to work out what I’m going to do at work. But it’ll be fine.’
But she didn’t feel fine. She felt cheated. This was supposed to be their life-changing moment.
And it had fallen flat on its face.
Chapter 3
Ellie looked around the café and took it all in. She hadn’t been up here for absolutely ages and was really quite impressed with how far Zoe had come. She let her eyes run over every inch as she sipped at the third cup of tea Zoe had placed in front of her now that she was sitting at a table in the corner. When Zoe had taken the café on, it was the most miserable- looking building you could imagine. Paint peeling from the walls, a dingy kitchen that needed some serious TLC and a broken window. But now, looking at it, Ellie couldn’t believe how amazing it looked.
She absolutely loved the way Zoe had kept things so simple but it gave such a punch. The walls were kept an off-cream colour, but she had explosions of vibrant pinks and greens to accentuate. Light fittings, the serving hatch and bookshelves, all splashed with colour, kept the room feeling bright and exciting. There was a new addition since the last time she was here too, in the form of a little section in one corner, which housed a few shelving units and a table filled with things to purchase. Ellie stood and took a stroll over to it to browse. The shelves were full of little bits and pieces, bespoke, unique, one-of-a-kind-type objects. She chose a little figurine of two girls playing with some building blocks and was immediately transported back to being four years old and playing with Zoe. She missed those days. When had life become so complicated?
It was the teatime rush and there were swarms of people buzzing around and lining up waiting to be served. Ellie had offered to help her sister but was told, categorically, to sit down, have some more tea and relax. Thankful for the excuse to not talk about what was going on in her life, she took the chance and did as she was asked.
Weaving her way back to the table she was sitting at, Ellie took her phone out and saw that she had fourteen missed calls, two voicemails and three text messages. She was glad she had put it onto silent when she got here. She knew Jenni wouldn’t let up about the job. She quickly flicked through the texts first. Nothing of interest: just two from work and one from her neighbour asking about the milkman. She led such an interesting life. Next, she scrolled the missed-call list. Pretty much what she expected. Jenni… Jenni… Jenni… oh…
She looked at his name. Why had he tried to call her? Did he know? He couldn’t know, she hadn’t told anyone. She felt a wave of nausea creep up and swallowed it down, trying to stop the impending fear creeping up. She hesitated before clicking onto the voicemail and tentatively listening.
‘Ellie, its Jenni,’ Relief flooded her body quicker than a hot shower. ‘I don’t know what is going on with you today but you need to sort yourself out and call me back. I need to know whether I need a new make-up artist for the shoots I have you booked for next week. Call me as soon as you get this, please.’
She wasn’t happy. But then again, neither would Ellie be if someone she had booked for work just up and left without an explanation. She listened as her phone told her she had another new message.
‘Els, it’s me.’ She held her breath as she listened to Chris’s silky voice. ‘Why aren’t you answering my calls? You said you wouldn’t be weird. Come on, pick up.’
She placed her phone on the table and dropped her head into her hands, her straightened hair falling over her shoulders and brushing the tabletop. What had she got herself into?
‘Well, that doesn’t look like someone who is fine.’
Ellie snapped her head up to look at her sister. She laughed nervously, to buy herself some precious seconds of thinking time. ‘I’m just tired after the long drive, that’s all.’
Zoe placed a plate in front of Ellie that had a cheese-and-tomato panini with salad and crisps on the side. ‘Maybe this will help perk you up.’ She fo
llowed with a can of Coke and a straw.
‘Thanks, sis.’
‘No problem. Eat up and when I’ve shut up shop I’ll take you upstairs to sort your stuff. I figure you have stuff with you… in the car?’
Oh right, stuff. That would’ve come in handy ‘Um… actually….’ The thought hadn’t crossed her mind until now. She didn’t bring anything because she just got in the car and drove. Whereas in the past her impulsiveness had brought her many exciting adventures, sometimes it simply backfired.
‘It’s fine. I’ve got everything you’ll need.’ She placed a hand on Ellie’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ‘You eat up and we’ll have a chat when we go upstairs. I’ve only got a few more bits to do, so I won’t be long.’
Ellie smiled her thanks and took a bite from her panini. She wasn’t looking forward to this conversation.
*****
‘Imogen, where are you?’
She immediately jumped up from the sofa and ran to the hallway to greet Alice. As she rounded the corner of the stairs, she saw the flowers first.
‘Oh my God, where are you?’ she joked, peering around the huge bunch of flowers to see Alice’s face. ‘These are humungous!’
‘Only the best for my beautiful girl.’ She handed the flowers to Imogen and leant in for a kiss. Imogen smiled as Alice’s soft lips brushed delicately onto hers.
‘They’re gorgeous, Alice, thank you.’ She looked at the array of pinks and green and instantly fell in love with the vibrant yellow sunflower in the centre of the arrangement.
‘And I got this for me – but you can’t have any, Mummy.’ Alice held up the bottle of champagne and Imogen didn’t care at all. Not one bit. Because she was carrying their first baby. The baby they had longed so many years for. The baby they had spent weeks crying over when the test results had showed a negative time after time.
‘Guess I’ll have to get used to not drinking for the next nine months, eh?’ She rolled her eyes dramatically, but really she couldn’t care less about this fact.
‘It’s okay, I’ll hold the fort and take on your drinking for you.’
‘Come on, sit down. Put your feet up and I’ll start the dinner.’ Imogen turned to walk away when Alice shouted,
‘Wait!’ Imogen froze as Alice stopped her with her hand and walked back out of the front door.
‘Where are you going?’ She leaned forward and tried to see what she was doing. She watched Alice get another bag out of the boot of her car and return. The smell of vinegar hit her nose as she entered into the hallway and Imogen smiled. ‘Chippy?’
‘Well, you can’t join me with the champagne, so I figured you have to celebrate somehow.’
‘You, Alice, are amazing.’
‘Do you think you can stomach it? How are you feeling now?’
They walked into the kitchen together and Alice grabbed two plates from the cupboard as Imogen found a home for her beautiful bouquet. ‘I feel okay, it comes in waves. Let’s get this down me before the next wave comes.’ Imogen grabbed the ketchup and a glass for Alice’s champagne whilst Alice took the food through to the dining table.
‘So, how was work?’ Imogen asked, delving into the chips as she spoke, their salty taste working wonders on her nausea. It had been ages since she’d eaten a takeaway. They had been trying to be super-healthy whilst trying to conceive, as the consultant had asked them to make sure everything was as good as they could make it to ensure optimum conceiving chances. So Imogen had strictly watched what and how much she ate, trying to get her body to its best so as not to cause any unnecessary problems. But how she had longed for chips from the chippy for months. And Alice knew this. So the fact she’d brought these in today simply showed Imogen the exact reason why she loved her so much. Her thoughtfulness was impeccable and it really mattered. It’s the little things that mean the most and Alice was very good at getting those little things spot on.
‘It was actually quite a good day. We completed some house sales and remember that house we put up last week that had been on with our rivals for months? Well, we sold it today!’ She pulled her long, brown hair back into a ponytail and then continued to eat.
‘You’re joking! How do you do it?’
‘Because we are brilliant.’ Alice puffed out her chest and Imogen laughed. ‘Seriously, though, that house spent months up with another agent, but we managed to sell it in four days! I’m so proud of the team.’
‘That’s great news. So we have a few things to celebrate, then?’
‘Damn right. Have you told your mum?’
Imogen was waiting to see how long it would take her to ask. She had thought of nothing else all day. Every time she even thought of ringing her mum she felt sick – and that wasn’t even the nausea. That was sheer panic. She knew exactly how her mum was going to react.
‘Not yet.’
Alice leant forward and squeezed Imogen’s hand. ‘It’ll be okay, you know that?’
She shrugged. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry any more.
‘Imogen, listen. Whatever happens, you will always have me, okay? I will never let you down and I am not going anywhere. This baby will have us both and it will be loved, no matter what other people want to say to us or behind our backs.’
‘I know.’ She did know. ‘It’s just hard. I know what she will say. She gets me all worked up, right under my skin. She knows what she is doing.’
‘She might be fine. She’s finally getting the grandchild she thought she would never have. She might surprise you and be excited.’ Alice tried to put on a confident face but they both knew that was highly unlikely.
Imogen snorted. ‘Yeah, and pigs might fly.’
‘Come on, what’s the worst that might happen?’
Imogen let all the thoughts crowd into her head. Her mum might disown her, feeling so ashamed that her daughter was having a baby with another woman that she couldn’t bear to even look or talk to her any more, so she might decide to cut all ties and leave Imogen without parents, because her dad sure wouldn’t stand up to her mum. Or maybe she’d get really angry and end up shouting abuse down the phone to her. Or worst still, become so upset that Imogen had been a disappointment of a daughter and not what she had ‘brought her up to be’ as she had said on many occasions, and spend the whole time crying down the phone, making Imogen feel like the biggest regret of her mother’s life.
But instead of saying all this, she simply replied, ‘I guess I’m just not ready to say anything to her yet. Let’s wait until we have seen the doctor and everything is okay.’ She tried to avoid Alice’s stare. ‘Please?’ she added.
‘Okay, if that’s what you want to do, then I’ll support you.’ Alice stood and slipped out of her suit jacket, revealing her perfectly formed petite body, which Imogen loved. Alice was a confident, powerful, assertive woman, wrapped up in a beautiful petite package.
‘Have you told your mum yet?’
Alice shook her head. ‘I thought we might go and visit them this weekend and tell them in person?’
Alice’s parent lived about half an hour away and Imogen thought about travelling in a car whilst feeling sick, but decided that she needed to feel some support around her. Alice’s parents were amazing. They were sure to be over the moon and she needed to surround herself with positivity at this moment in time. ‘Sounds like a great idea.’
‘Great, I’ll call after dinner to see when they’re free.’
‘Okay and we need to call the clinic. Tell them we’ve had a positive test.’
Alice laughed and shook her head.
‘What?’ Imogen couldn’t help but smile along, even though she had no idea what Alice was smiling at.
‘I just can’t believe it, Imogen. We are going to be parents!’
Chapter 4
‘Okay, so you’ve been here about six hours. We’ve spoken about my work, your work, Dad, my new boyfriend and all the latest soaps we’ve both watched over the last week.’ Zoe was staring at her and Ellie struggled to keep the
eye contact. She knew this was coming. She knew she would have to speak to Zoe and tell her what was happening, but she just didn’t want to. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to speak to Zoe; she didn’t want to speak to anyone. She wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend this wasn’t happening.
But it was.
‘Come on, spill. What’s the real reason you are here?’
‘What? I can’t just rock up and spend time with my sister every once in a while?’ Ellie played the hurt-sister card but it was having zero effect on Zoe and she simply stuck with her hard stare and disbelief. ‘Okay, fine,’ Ellie conceded, ‘I need your help.’
‘Okay, and what exactly do you need help with? Money?’
‘No! When have I ever asked you for money?’ She was offended that her sister thought she would drive all this way just to ask her for money. Plus, she made good money now that she was doing higher-profile jobs with her make-up. Although that probably wasn’t set to last now. Not once word got around that she was unreliable and would just stroll off set whenever she felt like it. She made a mental note to make sure she rang Jenni this weekend to try to repair some of the damage to her reputation before it plummeted.
‘Well, what, then?’
She hesitated and tried to think of a way to word it. How could she tell her sister not only that she was pregnant but who the dad was? She was never going to believe her. And then all the questions would start and Ellie wasn’t even sure she knew the answers.
‘Are you in some sort of trouble?’ Zoe looked worried.
‘No, well, not exactly.’ She exhaled, ‘Kind of.’
‘Okay, whatever it is, we can sort it, okay? It will be fine. But you need to tell me what’s happening – I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.’ Ellie felt a twinge of irritation at the way Zoe was speaking, as if she was her mum. Whilst it was nice to have Zoe to turn to, when she spoke like that it only reminded Ellie that her mum wasn’t there. And no one could fill that gap, no matter how much Zoe tried.
She threw her hands up and dropped them down into her lap with a here goes gesture and said, ‘I’m pregnant.’
The First Time Mums' Club Page 3