ZOMBIE X
S.G. Harkness
Copyright © 2015 S.G. Harkness
All Rights Reserved.
WARNING: Contains brutal violence, coarse language, gore, and drug use.
Zombie X is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, businesses, places, events or incidents, are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, animals, things, living, dead, destroyed, or actual events from the past or present is purely coincidental. Zombie X was produced from the ghoulish imagination of S.G. Harkness.
Do not try to consume the meat raw or boiled in urine, only attempt to roast it over a great fire—with the head, legs and inner organs.
S.G. Harkness
Episode 1
I was in the middle of riding some guy with a huge wiener when the inconceivable interrupts me. I gaze at the ceiling while my annoying alarm clock wakes up the neighborhood, and I question why I had to be so rudely disturbed. No one in the world deserves to be interrupted this early in the morning. I love sex just as much as the next girl does, though I don’t actually own a dildo, and I bet that you’re surprised. I’ve thought about owning one, but I’d rather touch myself, and I don’t do cucumbers either. I was having a beautiful dream about being pounded hard from behind, but I must get my ass out of bed since I don’t have much of a choice. Today is a workday for me, and I can’t afford to be late for work.
My automatic coffee maker brews my morning coffee, and I totally love the smell of dark roast coffee in the morning. If I only had a punching bag, I’d find a way to put my boss’s ugly face on it so that I could punch the crap out of it. I’m not surprised that the sun is not shining since the weather hasn’t been pleasant lately. It’s been storming a lot during the past several weeks.
I could seriously stay cuddled in my heavenly bed without a care in the world, but I don’t want to suffer the consequences. I’d love to have a gorgeous guy in bed with me, which would be perfect right now. Waking up next to a guy has not always been the best experience. I was wasted at a house party a few months ago, and I ended up next to a fucking asshole. He was a total jerk-off since he took advantage of me. I couldn’t stop puking that horrible night, and it was an absolute nightmare. The house party was insane, and I crashed the party with my best friend, Shawna. Rumors had spread like wildfire that she had been gangbanged, but she didn’t recall a thing that occurred that night. We used to be inseparable until she met a guy, and it didn’t take long for Shawna to fall in love with him.
I’m happy that I don’t have to puke this morning. I take the time to stretch out my body, and I can’t seem to stop yawning this morning. A slight chill creeps around in my bedroom. I rarely wear anything to bed except for my underwear. My bed is so comfortable that I will stay in bed for just a few more minutes since I love my bed so much, and I cuddle with the soft pillows. If only I could replace the pillows with a real man.
My life isn’t exactly a romance novel. Having a romance in my life is only something that I can hope for, and I must have the worst luck in the love department. There is always that moment that I think about that it wouldn’t hurt to have a boyfriend in my life. I require a passionate lover, and I deserve to be the happiest girl in the universe. No one is man enough to take on the responsibility. There are too many wimps in the world who don’t know how to treat a girl.
A lot of guys are jerks because all they ever want is to get inside me, and they never want to be romantic. Some guys have offered me money to give them joy, and they’ve even offered me money for just a feel of my twins. It’s amazing what some guys will do for a quickie.
Being single can be a good thing since I can do whatever I desire. It also has a dark side because it reminds me of how miserable my life is, but I have things that help cheer me up. I do have my comfort foods that help keep me sane. I have a passion for ice cream, and I won’t give up my ice cream binges. If anyone were ever to take my ice cream away from me, I would kill them. I’d probably stab them in the eye with a large dildo if I owned one.
It’s a good thing that I possess a fast metabolism because I don’t want to be overweight. I don’t want to be called a fat bitch, no offense. Some guys can be insulting, and it hurts to be insulted since I have feelings. I enjoy every flavor of ice cream, and it’s difficult to choose a flavor. Ice cream can be a great deal more satisfying than catching some Z's with a guy. A guy has never gotten me off, and it seems that I can only get myself off.
Some guys have only lasted a couple of minutes, and other guys have only lasted ten seconds. Some of them lasted a little bit longer than a couple of minutes, but they still had no game at all. A lot of guys are only into satisfying themselves. When you’re a girl like me, you have to get things done yourself. I love pleasuring myself, and I don’t know what else I’d rather do with myself.
My life feels unfulfilled, and I’ve been depressed for a while. I’ve dropped a great deal of my time thinking about ways to stop my agony. Pleasuring myself is the one physical activity that temporarily takes my mind off my miserable life. I don’t have a lot to look forward to in my lifetime. Still, things could probably be worse, but I have some things that I should be grateful for. I’m happy that I’m not homeless.
I’m living in my cozy apartment, and I’m on the top floor of a high-rise building. I have to work my ass off to pay the rent every month, and I refuse to ask my parents for help. My parents are divorced, and I’m an only child. My mother remarried some rich jerk named George, and he’s a total douchebag. He rarely acknowledges my existence since I’m of no purpose to him. My mother thinks that I’m going to steal her husband away from her. My father has more respect for me, and he’s the sweetest father in the universe. My father visits me once in a while. My mother has never seen my apartment. She is living large with her new hubby, and she doesn’t want to spend her time with me.
I have to get ready for my crappy waitressing job at some crap diner. I don’t have much of a choice since I seriously need the money. Times are tough, and money doesn’t go a long way these days. Money doesn’t exactly grow on trees. I would love to shoot every single asshole at my workplace.
There is no doubt that I’m a hardworking girl. Unfortunately, I’m employed at the trashiest place ever, and it’s the worst job for a girl like me. The food at my workplace is practically inedible, yet I’m surprised that no one has ever died from eating the food there. I usually have a cup of coffee and an energy bar when I’m on my lousy breaks. The cooks are filthy, and the kitchen is downright offensive. Most of the cooks are overweight border jumpers. A bunch of them have terrible hygiene. One of the cooks is always sweating all over the food, and he never washes his hands before touching the food.
I’ve seen him rub his sweaty armpits and crotch. The servers are not any better, and there is a waitress who has the hairiest arms. I don’t see why she doesn’t just trim her arms. She should let her arms get some fresh air.
Customers haven’t complained about her hairy arms, though the thought of her hairy arms makes me sick to my stomach. I hate the dirty old men who never tip well. If there is one thing that I can’t stand, it is a bad tipper. I want to harm people that don’t tip at all. I question why some customers don’t tip, and I consider it an evil deed. You’ve got to be seriously demented if you are not leaving a tip. Many customers have done that to me before. I gave one customer a dirty look as he sat next to his girlfriend of all people. I question what sort of girl dates a cheap bastard. I’ve envisioned myself holding a fork and shoving the fork into a customer’s face.
Thinking about work gives me morning sickness. I’m not knocked up, thank goodness. I wouldn’t want to bring a child into this world, and I especially don’t like the thought of having triplets. That’s three times the terror. I can barely take care of
myself, and I don’t see how I could take care of a child. That would be so wrong on so many shitty levels. If I did get knocked up, I would probably have an abortion. I’m not mother material in any way, shape or form. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion because it’s a free country. Being a mother would be a nightmare, and I enjoy my freedom too much to be nailed down by a child. Raising a child is too much responsibility for my blood.
I wouldn’t want to raise a child with this crap job that I have. I can’t seem to find anything better, but I’m still young. I have more than enough time to think about the rest of my life. I wonder if I can handle nursing school, but I will probably have waitressing gigs all my life, and I’m fine with that, as long as I can find a decent place to work.
There aren’t many good waitressing jobs in the city. The waitresses with the good jobs won’t be quitting anytime soon, and I’m going to have to suck it up. I don’t have a lot of money right now, and there is just no escape for me. I have nowhere to go, and I can’t afford to move out since I’m trapped in my current situation, and I wish that I could break free from all this crap. I have to deal with all the bullshit in my life. A little help can go a long way, and I hope for things to improve in my life. I would love to win the lottery, and I don’t even have to win millions of dollars. I would be satisfied to win thousands of dollars. Winning something is better than nothing. If anyone deserves a change, it’s me for sure.
I don’t think that my life will ever change, and I certainly don’t get paid enough for the amount of crap that I deal with. I hate my job so much that I like to fantasize about ways of destroying my workplace. The thought of burning my workplace down is really relaxing. There are always bad smells coming from my workplace. The inside of it smells like body odor, bad breath, dirty socks, tacos, and onions. I wonder if it has ever been inspected for filth.
The men’s washroom is the most unsanitary washroom in the world. A horrible stench comes from it. There was a time that I was asked to clean up the men’s washroom, and I did it for some extra cash. The washroom had shit stains all over the walls. There was shit on the washroom ceiling! I wondered if someone’s ass had exploded—in the washroom.
My job is not the type of job that people would die for. There should be better days ahead, and I can only dream about a better life. I wish someone would be brave enough to love me. A guy has never romanced me, though I always wanted the pleasure of being romanced.
I should probably get out of bed now. I wish that I had the luxury of sleeping in, but I have to move. It’s always so chilly when I wake up in the morning. Winter is just around the corner, so I should put a shirt on at night, but I sleep better when I’m topless. The landlord must have turned down the gas in my building. I had turned up the heat before I went to bed. My nipples are as hard as cherries this morning, and I have the landlord to thank for that. He apparently has no idea how sensitive my lovely nipples are.
My neighbor’s cat claws at my door. I like animals, but I can’t afford to own one, though I always wanted to have a dog. The cat does the same thing every morning since my neighbor is too much of a cheap ass to feed her own cat. I should take the cat and keep it because it practically lives here. I bet that my neighbor would never know where her cat disappeared to. I open my apartment door, and the cat seems to beg me to feed it. The cat rubs its body on my legs, and it feels so good since the cat is nice and warm. It must be happy since it knows that I’m going to feed it. The lovely cat deserves to be fed a hardy meal.
The cat must think that my apartment is a food bank. I open a can of tuna to feed the cat, and the cat finishes the tuna in record time. I carry the cat out of my apartment, gently release the cat, and watch the cat walk away.
I start to get ready for work, although it doesn’t take much for me to get ready in the morning. I quickly wash myself up, and I rarely wear any makeup. I quickly put on my bra, waitress uniform, and admire myself in the mirror. Everyone will recognize that I’m a waitress today.
I’m not one of those high-maintenance bitches. For some unknown reason, some people believe that I’m a drug freak. I like to go out and have some drinks when I can afford it. I also like to smoke up, but that doesn’t make me a junkie.
Shawna gave me two fat rolled up joints for my birthday. That was cool of her, but I haven’t smoked them yet. They are on the top of my fridge, and I plan to smoke them one of these days. I have been saving them for the right time since big joints need to be saved for a special occasion. Shawna lives about an hour away from me. She’s beautiful, and I miss her with all my heart. If I were ever to swing the other way, I would fall for Shawna in a heartbeat. Sadly, I only get to see her once in a while since she recently moved out of the city to live with her boyfriend. Some people will do anything for love.
I’m simply an average, homegrown, girl next door. I recently just turned eighteen years old. I adore my short red hair, and I wouldn’t trade my short red hair for any other hair in the world. I’m miserable, but I still try to take care of myself. I’m in awesome shape, and I like to kill time by doing a lot of running outdoors. I also like to do push-ups and sit-ups. I heard that exercising helps with stress, but it does nothing to bring happiness to my life. Exercising helps prevent me from becoming obese, though I can’t afford to buy any exercise equipment.
I would love to spend time at the gym, but a gym membership is too expensive for my blood. I could meet a guy at the gym, and it would be wonderful if we fell in love. I don’t care for someone who is extremely muscular. I don’t need someone that is on steroids, and I prefer someone who is natural looking. That is more than good enough for me.
I don’t want to be late for work since I really need to get paid, and I have everything that I need for work. I leave my apartment, and I make sure to lock the door. The hallway has an awful stench that needs to be eliminated. However, no disinfectant spray in the world would be able to get rid of the stench. I can smell body odor, piss, and booze. The residents in my building rarely sleep. I wish that I could walk around my building without being seen because I just want to be left alone, and it is better than being harassed all the time.
The wrong guys around my building hit on me all the time. I usually find plenty of bums who sit out in the hallway near the elevator. They love to beg for everything that they can get their grubby hands on, including my body. All the bums around my building know me by name.
They are all fat pigs with nothing better to do with their lives. There happens to be a bum sitting at the other end of the hallway, and his name is Stan. He is a fragile, middle-aged man with a beard. He loves to lounge around the building, and he always claims to be a war hero. He’s delusional, and he can’t seem to take his eyes off me. I think that he may have consumed too many drinks last night. I wonder how many sluts he had last night. The hookers come around here all the time. I get to the elevator and wait impatiently.
“Good morning, April. I haven’t been outside this morning, so we should take a walk outside for some fresh air. You can buy me breakfast because I’m a little short on cash this morning. We can hold hands and sing. Have I complemented your twins today?”
“I’m sorry, Stan. I’m not here. You're totally hallucinating. I’m a ghost. You do not see me.”
“You’re a funny broad. I know you’re real, and I can smell you from down here. You smell like strawberries and fresh pussy.”
“You’re drunk, Stan. Where are the rest of your friends? Did they leave you? Why don’t you go home, and find a job? You know what a job is, don’t you?”
“Friends are overrated. Why should I get a job? I’ve been retired for a long time. I killed a lot of goons in Nam, and I also killed hundreds of sand niggers in the Middle East. I was the world’s best sniper. I deserve a reward, so show me your hot stuff, April. Show me those twins of yours, and let me taste those cherries. I see them sticking out and staring at me. I’m too wasted to get up, so get your ass over here.”
“I don’t even know why
I put up with you every morning, Stan. I should call the cops, but I know they won’t do anything. Stan, I just want you to know that you smell like someone shit on you and then threw a bucket of jizz on you.”
“I don’t think that I smell too bad. The ladies tell me that I smell like a sexy beast.”
“There is more to life than drinking. That’s all you do all day and all night long. You contribute nothing to society, and you spend all your money on liquor, hookers, and drugs. Go outside and get yourself a cup of black coffee because you seriously need one. Don’t forget to take a shower, use a pile of soap, and brush your teeth as well. I really hope you realize that you’re a total mess. You should consider setting yourself on fire to help burn off the deadly stench. I’m trying to help you, and you don’t even want to listen to me. I don’t know why I bother to try to help you because you have no respect for anyone.”
“Let me have some of that booty. Bring it over here, honey. You’re not going anywhere, Miss Killborn. The elevators are down again.”
“Are you serious? The building is never maintained. There are too many lazy jerks around here, and I’m going to be late for work. I love our daily conversations, but I have to go.”
“I would carry you, but I have a bad back.”
“No, thanks. I believe you are crazy enough. I wouldn’t want you to touch me. You would have to pay me a large amount of money just to get your hands on this body, Stan.”
“Can I tell you a secret? I wanted to tell you this for a while now. The truth is that, well, I’m in love with you.”
I roll my eyes since Stan is truly pathetic, and I start to walk away from him.
“I will smell you later, Miss Killborn. I'm always here for you, so you know where to find me. Bring back a bottle of Jack for me. I'll be waiting for you here. Don't you forget about me. I will be waiting, darling.”
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