by Hazel Kelly
“I’m glad it’s been put to good use.”
“I’m still working on getting the horse’s tlot tlot sound right, but I think I’ve nailed the right tone throughout otherwise.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“What brings you by?” he asked, picking the coins out of his hat. “I don’t usually see you around at this time.”
I pursed my lips and inhaled. “Want to get a coffee?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“My treat.”
“If you insist,” he said, sliding his change in his pocket and returning his hat to his head.
We rounded the corner and I asked him to grab a table while I got coffee and donuts.
“Help yourself,” I said, sliding the bag his way when I joined him at the table he’d picked.
“You want the chocolate one, right?”
I shook my head. “I already ate. They’re both for you.”
He rolled his eyes up to the sky as if God had paid for the donuts. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what’s up?” he asked.
Something about the enthusiastic way he bit into the donut reminded me that there were more important things in life than holding grudges and letting your emotions get the best of you, but that didn’t mean I should be rude and not answer the question.
“I saw the other woman this morning.”
His face dropped. “Shit, Carrie. That sucks.”
“She must be twice my age.”
“Did she see you?”
“Yeah, and making eye contact with her was so fucked up. I thought I was going to puke.”
“Where’d you see her?”
“At brunch after this wedding I went to,” I said. “Apparently, she was Simon’s date.”
His eyes grew wide. “He was there, too?”
I nodded.
“Is that the first time you’ve seen him since-”
“No. He came to my office once.”
He kept his eyes on me as he chewed.
“Cause he couldn’t get into the apartment after I changed the locks.”
“Good thinking.”
I sighed and wrapped my hands around my coffee. “I just wasn’t prepared for it, ya know? Like I never even thought about what I might do or say if I ever saw them together again.”
“What did you do?”
“I fainted.”
He scrunched his face.
“How embarrassing, right?”
“She’s lucky you didn’t break her nose.”
I smiled, loving the idea that he thought I was capable of that kind of physical violence. “She does have a thin, fragile looking nose. Maybe I could’ve done it.”
“If you ever get the chance again, just make sure you don’t go straight in.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Or up with the heel of your hand cause you could jam her nose bone right into her brain and kill her.”
I swallowed. That would be one way to break things off with Ben.
“You want to come at the nose sideways with your fist towards you, like you’re trying to jam a screwdriver through the side of her nose.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “Just saying.”
“You’re serious?”
“Well, yeah. Breaking someone’s nose isn’t funny. And you don’t want to be that guy that tries and fails. Then you just look like an ass.”
“Like if you faint, for example.”
“Did either of them say anything to you?”
I shook my head. “Maybe. I don’t know. The lights went out pretty quick after I saw them.” Suddenly, I was conscious of the diamond earrings and necklace I was still wearing. Would Woody even think twice about them? It’s not like I could take them off suddenly and put them in my pocket?
“I’m sorry, Carrie. That’s awful.”
“What if I broke her nose and Simon was all concerned and fussing over her, though? That would’ve been hideous.”
“Do you think he has mommy issues?”
I shrugged. “Who knows? But seeing them together again confirms that it wasn’t a once off when I caught them.”
“Probably not if they’re going to weddings together.”
I took a sip of coffee and let it burn its way down my throat.
“Ya know,” Woody said, leaning his elbows on the table. “I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate here-”
I cocked my head.
“But one could argue that as much as she deserved a broken nose, she deserved a big kiss and a hug just as much.”
I craned my neck back. “What the hell for?!”
“For taking that idiot off your hands.”
I pursed my lips.
Woody pulled the second donut out of the bag. “There’s a chance you’d still be planning your wedding to that foreskin if she hadn’t come along.”
I squinted. “I don’t exactly think that makes her my guardian angel.”
“No. But she did do you a favor.”
“By seducing my fiancé?”
“He’s just as guilty as she is.”
“I know.”
“Besides,” he said. “Now you can give your heart to someone who actually deserves it.”
Chapter 4: Ben
When I looked through the peephole, I could see that motherfucker’s face.
I swung the door open and caught it in my hand.
My mom was standing between us.
“Get the fuck away from my door,” I said, pointing at him.
“Calm down, Ben.”
“I want to talk to Carrie,” he said.
“Too bad,” I said, my chest tightening. “She’s not here.”
His eyes blinked behind his hipster frames.
I squeezed my free hand into a fist. “Probably because the sight of you makes her even sicker than it makes me.”
“Ben, please,” my mom said. “We’re all adults here.”
“I’m the only adult here,” I said. “And as far as I’m concerned, you can both fuck off.”
My mom fixed her eyes on me. “You and I obviously need to talk.”
I shook my head and stared at the asshole across the hall. “Seriously, man. You have to go.”
My mom turned to face him. “Maybe it’s best if I just meet you back at the room, Simon.”
For a second I feared my gag reflex was going to turn into something else.
He looked back at me once before starting down the hall.
I leaned my head out the door and watched him skulk away. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll disappear. Do you hear me? If I ever run into you again I swear to god-”
“Ben.” My mom put a hand on my chest. “Stop. Just stop.”
I clenched my jaw and watched him get on the elevator without looking back in our direction.
“What the fuck are you doing with that guy?” I asked.
“Let’s have this conversation in your room so we don’t disturb the other guests.”
I shook my head. “There’s not a guest in this hotel that knows the meaning of disturbed compared to me right now.”
She raised her eyebrows.
I knew she was right. We couldn’t have a shouting match in the hall. But when I thought of all the fun I’d had in the room behind me over the last twelve hours, I knew I didn’t want her to come in and sour the place, see the unmade bed, or stand on the spot where Carrie and I fucked on the floor.
I shook my head. “You can’t come in here.”
She sighed.
I looked down the hall when I heard a ding and saw Martine getting off the elevator. “We’ll talk somewhere else.” I stepped into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind me. “Martine,” I said, walking up to her. “What room are you cleaning first?”
She smiled at my Mom behind me. “Good morning, Laura.”
“Morning, Martine,” she said.
“What room?” I repeated.
She l
ooked down at her clipboard. “458.”
“Great,” I said. “Would you mind skipping that one for a minute so we can use it to have a private conversation? We won’t be long.”
“Of course,” she said, handing me a master keycard.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll return this to you when we’re done. Then I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with my mom.
She followed me down the hall and into the empty room.
“I don’t know why we couldn’t just talk in your room,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the desk.
“Because,” I said, walking over to the window. “When this conversation is over, I want to be able to walk out on you.”
“Ben, I don’t know how much more of this hostility I can take-”
I turned and looked at her. “What the hell are you doing with that guy?”
“He’s my boyfriend.”
“You realize he was someone else’s fiancé a few weeks ago?”
“That’s his business. It’s not my problem.”
I raised my eyebrows. “It’s your fucking problem now, isn’t it?” I said, leaning against the coffee table by the window. The room was relatively tidy except for the unmade bed and the room service trays by the door. “Or are my problems not your problems either?”
She took a deep breath. “I had no idea you were dating anyone. How could I have known? You haven’t given me the time of day for weeks.”
I gripped the edge of the coffee table with my fingers. “But you recognized her. You obviously recognized her.”
She nodded. “I did, yeah.”
“So it’s not just our family you don’t mind breaking up?” I asked. “No one’s family- or potential family- is sacred enough for you to keep your fucking legs closed.”
“I didn’t know he was engaged” she said. “Not in the beginning.”
“Tell me about that,” I said, folding my arms. “Tell me about how two cheaters like you found each other.”
“We met in the Admirals Club.”
I rolled my eyes.
“We both fly back and forth to Ft. Lauderdale regularly.”
“Uh-huh.” I furrowed my brow. “And he didn’t mention he was engaged?”
“Not for months.”
“Months?!” My stomach curled.
She nodded.
“But obviously he told you eventually. You were in their goddamn apartment.”
“That was a mistake.”
“I’ll say,” I said. “Let’s be sure to add that to your list.”
She pursed her lips.
“Why didn’t you break it off with him when you found out he was engaged?”
She looked at me, her face somber. “Cause I love him, Ben.”
I put my hands on my head. “How can you even say that?”
“Because it’s true.”
“How could you possibly love him knowing what a sad excuse for a man he is?”
“Just because someone makes a mistake doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love.”
I craned my neck forward. “Even if they make that same mistake over and over again?”
“Of course.”
“Are you sure you weren’t just so freaked out about Will and Ella that you wanted to bring your own jailbait to the party?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“No.” I shook my head. “What’s ridiculous is how much older you are than him.”
“So it’s fine for your dad but not for me?”
“Fine. I take your point, but he didn’t steal Ella right out from under someone else.”
“And I didn’t steal Simon,” she said. “He’s a grown man perfectly capable of making his own decisions.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I just don’t get how you could do this after what you did to our family- and after what Nadia did to me.”
She swallowed.
“You saw how broken up I was about that. And then you turn around and actively cause someone else to feel that way?”
“Not all relationships work out.”
“Kind of like this one,” I said, staring at her.
“Not like this one at all,” she said. “You’re my son, Ben. You’ll always be my son.”
“Maybe by birth. But what kind of mother fucks up her own son’s life like this?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. I haven’t fucked up your life.”
“Maybe not,” I said. “But I’m starting to think that’s only because you haven’t had enough time yet.”
“I’ve sacrificed everything for you.”
“I get that you want to believe that. I do. Cause it makes you feel like you’re some kind of martyr, but I’m pretty sure you’re the most selfish person I know.”
“I’m not selfish.”
“Could you really not find your own man?”
“I didn’t want this to happen, Ben.” She wrapped her thin fingers around the edge of the desk. “It’s not like I preyed on him. We had chemistry. We hit it off. One thing led to another. It was organic.”
“Just like it was with the pool boy or-”
She raised a finger at me. “That was different.”
“Cause it was your relationship you were destroying instead of someone else’s?”
“No,” she said. “Because that was purely physical.”
“You really expect me to believe you’re in love with that piece of shit?”
She shook her head. “I don’t care what you believe.”
“Then why did you even come up here?”
Chapter 5: Carrie
I answered the door in my Wonder Woman snuggie.
“Oh honey.” Brook stepped inside and gave me a hug, squeezing me a little too hard. Just like I needed.
“Thanks for coming over.”
“Of course.” She straightened her arms to look at me. “Why don’t you sit back down on the couch? I can’t bear you dragging your snuggie all over the floor.”
I collapsed back on the couch, my face in such a severe pout it felt like it might actually get stuck, like my mother always said it could.
“You want to tell me what happened?” Brook asked, tucking my feet in.
I pulled my knees to my chest. “First of all, you were right. You’re always right.”
“No I’m not. I’m never right. The last time I was right about something was-”
“Simon,” I said. “You were right about Simon.”
She sighed.
“From now on, you’re in charge of my love life, and I’m not to do anything without your permission.”
She put her purse in her lap. “With all due respect, Carrie, I think that could get weird really fast.”
“Nothing could be weirder than the shit I’m in.”
“Yeah, but I can barely manage my own lack of a love life. I really don’t think I can be responsible for yours, too.”
“Fine. I get it. You don’t want the job.” I ran my hand over my head. “That makes two of us.”
She pulled two single serving bottles of white wine out of her bag and handed me one.
“That’s a nice surprise,” I said, taking it. “Chilled and everything.”
“See it’s not all bad,” she said. “Thanks to you we have an excuse to day drink again.”
“Did you just get these?” I asked, unscrewing the lid on mine.
“No, I had them. They were on special, and I thought they might be good for an emergency.”
I furrowed my brow. “What kind of emergency?”
She shrugged. “Like when I’m at the movies and I need a drink.”
I took a sip.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” she said, setting her purse on the floor and kicking her shoes off. “You weren’t exactly making sense on the phone.” She pulled her knees to her chest and faced me on the couch.
I untucked my snuggie and threw the end to her so she could get under it, too.
“Thanks.”
“So everything was going really well-”
“What was?” she asked. “Everything with this guy, Ben?”
I nodded. “It was the best night of my life, Brook. He was amazing.”
Her eyes went wide. “Did you sleep with him?”
“I did a lot more than sleep with him.”
“Good for you.”
“We planned our wedding.”
She craned her neck forward.
“We were only joking around, but the point is I like him so much I feel guilty about it.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Cause I’m still supposed to be mourning the end of my engagement-”
“Says who?”
“Says the half of the relationship rule-”
“I don’t think that applies in your case.”
“Why not?”
“Because the rule doesn’t state that you’re supposed to mourn the loss of cheating assholes.”
“I didn’t know there were terms and conditions.”
She rolled her eyes. “There are always terms and conditions.”
“Whatever. I mean, at first I thought I shouldn’t humor my feelings for him because he’s my client, and I have no idea if he feels the same as I do.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But it turns out liking him is a bigger disaster than I ever could’ve foreseen.”
“Because…?”
“Because his mom is dating Simon.”
“What?!”
“And to make matters worse, she’s the other woman.”
“Wait- his mom is the woman you caught him with? Here?”
I nodded.
“Holy shit.”
“I know, right?” I took a deep breath. “So one second I’m hugging his dad, congratulating him and his lovely wife on their beautiful wedding, and then two seconds later, Ben takes me across the room to introduce me to his mom and all I can do is picture her naked in my bed full of Simon’s spunk.”
Brook covered her face. “Please tell me that didn’t happen.”
“I wish I could.” I took another sip of wine.
She uncovered her face.
“But he was right there next to her and seeing them together was just too much-”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I fainted.”
Her head fell back.
“In retrospect, I think it was probably for the best.”
“Beats puking again.”