by Hazel Kelly
What’s more, I couldn’t go another day without finding out if she was getting over me… if she was ever even under me.
I pushed the door open quietly.
She was concentrating on her computer screen and biting the end of a pen.
I cleared my throat.
She pulled the pen from her mouth. “Ben.”
“Hi.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Returning your coat,” I said, nodding outside the door before closing it.
She swallowed.
“I thought you’d call.”
She looked back at the screen. “I thought you’d take a hint.”
I laughed. “And what hint is that?”
She looked back at me. “That the game is over. Like I said.”
I walked towards her, dying to put my hands on her body- my lips on her neck- but something told me to take my time.
“You know as well as I do that this stopped being a game a long time ago,” I said, unbuttoning my coat and throwing it over the back of the chair.
“I know no such thing,” she said, sitting up straight.
“Come on, Carrie. Don’t be like this. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You did everything wrong. But it wasn’t entirely your fault. I know I’m partly responsible for the fact that lines got blurry, that they got crossed.”
I sat in the chair across from her. “So what do you want to do?”
“I want to finish our work on the club and go our separate ways.”
I furrowed my brow. Did she mean it? Had I totally misread the situation? Could I really be that off base?
“That way none of my bad luck will rub off on you, and you can move on with a clean slate.”
“I’m not worried about your luck,” I said. “And I hate the sound of that last part.”
“What do you want?” she asked, swiveling her chair so she was facing me.
“I want to have another night like we had at The Abbott.”
She rolled her eyes. “I bet you do.”
I nodded. “I want every night to be like that.”
“Then you’re living in a fairytale, Ben.”
“I know. Ever since you showed up.”
She cocked her head. “So what does that make you? Prince charming himself?”
I leaned back in my chair. “I’ll play whatever part you want me to.”
“How about the part of my professional client who doesn’t entertain delusions about us being anything more?”
“How about you stop pretending you don’t deserve the attention I want to give you?”
“See. That’s a perfect example of what a professional client wouldn’t say.”
I clenched my jaw.
“And to think you actually had me going for a while there that you were a decent actor.”
“I’m not acting, Carrie. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
She pursed her lips.
“I never laid a hand on you that wasn’t aching to touch you,” I said. “And you weren’t acting either.”
“Yes I was.” She opened her desk drawer, pulled out a small white box, and slid it across the table.
“What’s that?”
“The earrings and the necklace you let me borrow for the wedding.”
I felt my stomach lurch. “Those were a gift.”
“An inappropriate gift.”
“Why inappropriate?”
“Because.”
I furrowed my brow. “Because why?” I asked, trying to hide how hurt I was that she would try and give them back.
“Cause that’s the kind of gift people in real relationships give each other after years of mutual commitment to one another.”
“Says who?”
“Says me,” she said.
“And who the fuck are you?” I asked, craning my neck forward.
“I’m a woman who can’t be bought.”
I laughed.
Her eyes were like daggers. “What’s so funny?”
I sighed.
“Well?”
“If I thought you could be bought, Carrie, I would’ve paid for you a long time ago, and we’d be doing something a lot more interesting right now than having this conversation.”
“They’re hardly worn,” she said. “You should give them to someone who will appreciate them.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Cause you can’t give a woman another woman’s diamonds, and those are yours. I went to the jewelry store with you in mind and thought about you the whole time I was shopping for them.”
She swallowed.
“So giving them to another woman wouldn’t be right.”
“Fine,” she said. “I don’t care what you do with them-”
“You’re supposed to wear them,” I said, straightening in my chair. “You’re supposed to wear them every fucking day and think of me thinking of you. That’s the point.”
Her eyes turned down at the corners.
“Hasn’t anyone ever bought you nice jewelry before?”
She fixed her eyes on me. “Yeah. Once.”
“Oh I see,” I said. “And he fucked it up so now you don’t deserve nice things anymore?”
“It’s not that I don’t deserve nice things,” she said. “It’s that this-” She waved her hand back and forth between us- “Is too complicated.”
“I disagree.”
“Then you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”
“Why is it too complicated?”
She sighed. “Cause your mother is sleeping with my ex fiancé, Ben.”
“But that doesn’t have anything to do with me.”
Her face dropped. “You knew?”
“I put two and two together after you left,” I said. “But it doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with us.”
“I didn’t say it was fair.”
I furrowed my brow. “Can’t you look at it another way?”
“What way?”
I shrugged. “That if those two idiots hadn’t done something horrible, we never would’ve-”
“What?”
“Met.”
“We would’ve actually. Only I’d still be engaged-”
“To a spineless lizard that doesn’t deserve you.”
“But you still would’ve seen the ad and needed my services for the club.”
I gripped the arms of my chair.
“Unless you only gave me the job cause you thought it would be easier to sleep with me?”
I clenched my jaw and inhaled through my nose.
Her eyes went wide. “Oh god you didn’t, did you?”
“Of course not,” I said. “I wouldn’t mess around like that with my club.”
She exhaled and her shoulders dropped.
“After all, it’s the only thing I care about as much as I care about you.”
“You don’t care about me that much,” she said. “You’re just a competitive guy and now that I’m over you, you can’t stand it and feel the need to make a pass.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that? That you’re over me?”
“I do, yeah.”
“Why? Cause of something awful two people did before we ever met- something that has nothing to do with me?”
She swallowed.
“You’re not the only one who’s completely disgusted with my mom, you know.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“If anything, there’s a chance that I’m even more pissed off about this whole thing than you are.”
She scoffed.
“Seriously. At least you have the option of washing your hands of them, of moving on with your life, of keeping things separate,” I said. “What the heck am I supposed to do?”
She put a hand over her chest, right over where the necklace should’ve been.
“I mean it, Carrie. Think about it. It’s bad enough that I know what she did, bad enough
that I know it’s not the first time she’s made such a poor choice. But if I lose you because of what she did.” I shook my head. “Think about who you’re really hurting here.”
Chapter 13: Carrie
Why wouldn’t he just go away?
I was being difficult, unlovable, and unkind. Couldn’t he see that he was better off without me?
Besides, abandonment was something I could deal with, something I was used to.
When Simon and I used to argue, he would often storm out and not come back for hours. Sometimes, we would even go to bed angry. I could still remember how doing that made my chest ache.
But Ben only looked like he was getting more comfortable as he settled into the chair across from my desk, like he wasn’t leaving until we sorted this out.
“I’m not trying to hurt anyone,” I said. “And I’m sorry if you feel this situation negatively affects you, but you’ll get over it. You’ll find someone else to play your games with and you’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want to find someone else.”
“Too bad.”
He stood up and leaned forward, resting his hands on the desk in front of me with his arms wide like a gorilla’s. “I’m not giving up on this, Carrie. We have something here.”
“We don’t have anything,” I said. “Except some water under the bridge and some light fixtures to pick out.”
He kept his eyes on mine, but I could barely maintain eye contact with him. His gaze was too intense. His blue eyes gave me nowhere to hide.
I shuffled through some papers on my desk until I found the pictures I was looking for. Then I turned them upside down so he could see them from his side. “Which of these do you like better for the main hall when you walk in?”
He looked at me for several seconds before reluctantly looking down at the pictures. First his eyes settled on the fixture that featured oversized silver globes.
I pointed at it. “This one comes with different glass inserts for the bottom so the color of the lighting can be changed.”
He nodded and turned his head towards the other one.
“I think this one is interesting because the jagged pieces almost make it look like it’s shattering in midair. Could make quite a statement.”
“I like them both,” he said.
I pursed my lips. “Me too.” I grabbed my phone off the corner of my desk. “Maybe it will help to look at the smaller fixtures that compliment them to see which of those you prefer. Cause I think we need to be consistent with the shape we choose.” I started flipping through the pictures on my phone. “Sorry I don’t have bigger pictures to show you.”
Ben walked around my desk and stood beside me.
His proximity wasn’t making it any easier for me to breathe, and I couldn’t concentrate with his crotch so close to my head.
I stood up. “Here’s one of the options to go with the globe fixtures.” I held my phone so he could see it and looked up to make sure he was looking, but I hung my head again when I noticed how close his face was to mine. “I was thinking these would be in the hallway leading to the bathrooms and probably in the entryway before the room opens up.”
“Uh-huh.” His voice was low and I could almost feel it rumbling up from his chest beside me.
And he was so close I could smell him. It was a clean smell mixed with his natural scent, which was as masculine as it was intoxicating. As I inhaled, I had half a mind to close my eyes and fall against his chest.
“Let’s see the next one,” he said, his large frame motionless beside me.
I tried not to stop breathing as I flipped to the next picture. “This is another one that would work with the round fixture,” I said. “Because of that hint of silver there.” I pointed my little finger at the screen and waited for him to comment.
He didn’t say anything.
I tilted my head to look up at him.
His eyes were fixed on me.
“Are you even paying attention?” I asked, dropping my arms.
He dragged a finger under my jaw.
My heart stopped beating.
“To be honest, I got a little distracted.”
“By what?”
He took a step towards me, pinning me between him and the desk. “By how hungry I am.”
I furrowed my brow.
“For you.”
I swallowed.
He raised a finger and deftly undid the top button of my blouse
I leaned my arms back on the desk, my voice almost inaudible. “What are you doing?”
“Shhhh,” he said, undoing another button.
“This is my office, Ben.”
“I know,” he said, undoing another button. “And it seems you have a very demanding client on your hands.”
When I dropped my head and saw my blouse gaping open, I realized I was wearing the only bra I owned that hooked in the front.
But Ben hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t taken his eyes from my face.
And then he leaned against me so I could feel the length of him against my skirt.
My guts began to ache. “You can’t just come in my office and have your way with me,” I said, my tone lacking any sort of conviction.
“And you just can’t stop me, can you?” He reached forward and unhooked the clasp of my bra, covering my breasts with his hands the moment they became exposed.
His hands were a few degrees cooler than my flesh and my nipples rose against his palms eagerly, my breasts heaving in his hands as if he’d brought them to life. With each knead of his palms, my blouse fell farther apart until it slipped off my shoulders.
That’s when Ben leaned forward and put his lips against my neck. He bit my thin flesh gently between his teeth and dropped his hands to the hem of my skirt, pulling it up slowly, his fingertips dragging against the outside of my thighs.
I closed my eyes and focused on the way his lips felt against me as his touch turned my core to lava. “Are you pretending this can go on?” I said. “Cause it can’t. We have to stop.”
He kissed his way up my neck and along the side of my face, stopping when his warm breath was in my ear. “I’m still pretending you’re my girlfriend,” he whispered. “And that there’s nothing you love more than when I surprise you at work.
And then his lips were on mine, sucking the breath and excuses from my mouth until suddenly I was kissing him back with all the energy I’d been spending trying to convince myself I could never kiss him again.
I draped my arms around his neck as he curled his fingers around the top of my black tights.
“Nora could come back from lunch any minute,” I breathed between kisses.
He pulled my tights and underwear down until they were just above my knees and stuck his hand between my thighs. “It’s your coming that concerns me,” he growled, rubbing his fingers against the length of my slit as I coated his hand with wet silk.
I dragged my mouth across his and he bit my bottom lip, pulling it towards him like a playful puppy as he slid his fingers inside me.
I gasped at the pressure, my whole body suddenly warm.
He grabbed my thigh with his free hand and lifted me up onto the desk, pulling his face from mine. Then he sank down into my desk chair, his fingers still inside me.
“What are you doing?” I asked, leaning my hands back on the desk again.
He pulled my tights off and spread my thighs with his hands. “Satisfying my hunger,” he said, dropping down to one knee.
And when I felt his breath against me, followed by his tongue, I knew there was no stopping him.
Chapter 14: Ben
She tasted sweet as ever, and I felt like a junkie getting my fix.
I only lapped at her snatch a few times before her hands started to slide back. Soon she was lying across her desk, her hips rocking against my face as she grew wetter.
I reached a hand up and rubbed her clit gently, my dick swelling with every scoop of my tongue.
“Oh god,” she said, arching her back.
I lapped at her faster, working her clit with my fingers and swallowing her sweet nectar as it dripped in my mouth.
“You’re going to make me come.”
I slapped her pussy just hard enough to surprise her.
When she looked up, I was standing between her legs, undoing my belt.
Her lips fell apart.
I stared at her tits rising and falling on her desk and let my pants fall down around my ankles.
Then I pulled my boxers down just enough to free my dick and leaned forward, laying my shaft against the length of her wet slit so she could feel how hard I was for her.
I started moving my hips, sliding my dick along her wetness just to make us both crazy as I leaned forward and squeezed her breasts again.
Her head fell back and she writhed against my cock, her breasts swelling with her breath under my hands.
“Do you want me to put you out of your misery?” I asked, grinding my cock against her. “Or do you just want to be friends?”
She looked up with furrowed brows. “Don’t stop.”
“You wanna wet my dick?” I asked, aching with my need for her.
She nodded.
I lifted her legs in the air and held them together with one arm, digging my hand into the soft flesh of her thigh. Then I used my free hand to guide myself inside her.
She let out a low groan as I pushed my way in.
She was so tight I thought I might faint from the pleasure. I took a deep breath and leaned against the desk until I could think again. Then I dragged her ass towards me, lifted it a few inches off the desk, and popped against her center.
She made a high pitched noise that made my mouth water.
I watched her wrap her hands around the edge of the desk before I backed up and plunged into her again.
Her knuckles turned white from holding on.
“How about now?” I said. “Do you want me to keep fucking you or will I stop and just be your client?”
“Fuck me,” she said. “Please.”
“How do you want it?” I asked, my dick swelling inside her.
“Harder,” she breathed.
It was exactly what I wanted to hear. I kept her legs tight together and thrust my hips against her, burying myself as deep as I could while I watched her tits bounce in front of me.