‘The best way to cover a robbery is with another robbery. Your friend the butler has been playing us like a bunch of idiots from the start. He’s clever though, I’ll give him that.’
We’d been screwed, properly screwed. Yet, I somehow felt okay. All that paranoia and distrust had proved correct. It now made it easier for me to know what to do.
‘I don’t understand.’ Tabatha hadn’t clocked the move.
‘I do,’ Curtis smiled. ‘There was £20 mill in stones in that safe. The butler nicked sixteen and gets us to steal the remaining four. We get nabbed with the four coming out, because we trip the silent alarm, which he never tells us about … and he gets to walk off with the sixteen.’
‘Because what policeman is going to look for anybody else, when he’s got us three idiots standing there with the rocks in our hands? They’d just think we stashed the remainder somewhere. Or we had a fourth who’d run off with them. Either way, he gets to walk off into the sunset, while we get the stripy shirts,’ I said, helping Curtis along.
‘The bastard!’ Tabatha said.
‘Yep.’
‘So what do we do?’ Curtis queried.
‘We get our rocks. Where did you stash them, Tabs?’
‘In some Mexican warehouse. I put them inside a papier mâché donkey, right at the back, out of the way. There was three of them in there ... big though … waist-high.’
‘The police catch you inside?’
‘Nah. I was well out of there when they got me.’
‘Good. They probably think the stones are somewhere in one of those units, but they won’t search them all. They can’t get that many warrants, not on the evidence they have.’
‘But we can’t go back.’ Curtis was right. The police were no doubt keeping an eye on the industrial estate, waiting for us to turn up so they could nab us.
‘Okay, there’s a bag of rocks in a piñata surrounded by police. This is slightly tricky.’
‘Just slightly,’ Tabatha concurred. ‘I can’t believe, after all the shit we’ve just gone through, we’re gonna end up empty-handed.’
‘It ain’t over yet. We need some info. You know exactly which warehouse it was?’
‘I can take you to it, but I don’t know what it was called.’ She lowered her head in contrition.
‘Not a problem. I need to make a call. Back in a bit.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Tabatha looked miserable.
‘Get the rocks ... What else?’ I smiled
I phoned Tommy-Two-Tooth and told him there was a warehouse in North East London, and I needed info on it and the piñata’s inside. I also told him the police might be watching, so to be careful. He told me he’d call me back in an hour. Tommy didn’t care why I wanted to know. For him, it was just a job. For a man that dealt in information he had a remarkable lack of curiosity; not just in what I was doing but in general.
After Tommy I phoned Kelly. She was still in Guy’s hospital, and I wanted to know whether Colin was still there, hoping I could get Boom-Boom to visit him and extend his stay. Kelly said he’d checked out that morning, which meant he probably knew that we’d done the job and escaped. It was a pity. I was sure I could have convinced Boom-Boom to take him some fruit … or turn him into a vegetable; one of the two. Wishing her and the baby the best, I hung up.
The butler was out, if he really was a butler. I hadn’t decided on that bit. I had two possible theories about the shifty Colin.
The first was that he was the actual owner of the house and would claim that we had taken all the jewels instead of just a quarter, and would thus claim insurance on the three-quarters we hadn’t, while still possessing them. The other quarter would be returned and we’d be serving serious time for not handing back the three-quarters we never stole. The police would be less likely to believe our story, not when we’re holding a load of stones in our hands.
The second theory was that he really was the butler and had whipped the three-quarters while we were being charged for the whole theft. He’d probably disappear and no suspicion would arise. The police already had three suspects, caught red-handed, and we’d serve time for the three-quarters we didn’t steal.
It wasn’t overly important which was true. It was an issue for after we had the stones, when we’d get revenge. I had no intention of letting him get away with giving us the shaft. But it had to wait.
I walked back into the party and grabbed a beer. Muzzi’s mini-festival was still raging. Boom-Boom and Marisol were still chatting on the stairs. They’d been like that for days. Not that I was complaining. With Marisol distracting Boom-Boom, I was able to continue running round with Tabatha without her overprotective sibling’s interference.
Tommy phoned back after forty minutes. He told me that the warehouse was used by a chain of Mexican bar/restaurants, those theme ones. They had three different sites around the city, and that the three donkeys were destined for the restaurants; one to each. The chain was celebrating its fifth birthday and the piñatas were the height of said celebration.
Tommy said he knew someone who worked for one of the restaurants and that he’d told him that the celebration was in three days’ time and that the piñatas would be on the move then. Until they were needed they were going to remain in the warehouse. I’d been right about the police. They were staking out the industrial estate. Not one specific warehouse, the entire estate, which was the first bit of good news I had. The police didn’t know where the rocks were, but it certainly complicated matters.
I thanked him and told him I’d call him back. I had a choice to make. Get the piñata while it was still in the warehouse — which meant figuring out a way to get to it under the nose of the ever watchful police — or grab it when they were moved. If the police didn’t know where Tabatha had stashed the stones, they weren’t stopping the companies from conducting their business, which meant they’d let the piñatas out on the back of a delivery truck without a second glance. The only problem was. We didn’t know which one it was in. We’d have to grab all three.
I phoned Tommy back and told him I needed to know the second the piñatas left the warehouse. He told me he’d get a guy on it and put the bill on my tab. Thanking him I went back to Tabatha and Curtis to explain the situation.
We were going to steal the piñatas off the delivery truck as soon as it moved and we needed to be ready. Tabatha kissed me when I’d finished explaining what we were doing. I think she’d given up. After all the crap we’d just gone through, I was buggered if I was going to end up empty-handed.
With Tommy’s man watching the piñatas and nothing else to do. I decided to enjoy the rest of the party. I knew it was the last respite I was going to get. Things were definitely about to get busy.
Thursday 11:00 a.m.
I awoke the next day on Muzzi’s sofa. Wednesday night had disappeared in a blur of smoke and drink. Tabatha was sleeping on my lap. It was the best way I’d woken up in ages, probably ever. She stirred.
‘Morning,’ I said hopefully, I wasn’t sure it was. It could have been any time. I didn’t really care. I was happy where I was, which was something I hadn’t said in a while.
‘Morning,’ she beamed back. ‘We’ve got to go to a wedding.’
‘Damn. Completely forgot.’ It was the day of Anna’s wedding; the whole reason Muzzi had run the party … Adriano’s stag night. Although I doubted half the people at the party knew that. ‘I need to get changed.’
‘Me too.’
‘Here.’ I reached into my pocket and pulled out the keys to Betsy and handed them to her.
‘What’re these for?’ She knew what it meant.
‘Well, someone has to drive Betsy and I’m not sure I’m allowed.’
‘Am I?’
‘More than anyone has ever been.’
She smiled ‘We better go get her then.’
‘Yeah. Do you know what time it is?’
‘Eleven. We got three hours.’
‘We better get moving.�
� I didn’t want to say it. It was the last thing I wanted to say. I really wanted to say, ‘Let’s stay here all day.’
‘I’ll meet you at yours with Betsy.’ She stood up. ‘See you in a bit.’ You know you have a special woman when she doesn’t think the fact you’ve named your car is odd. Or, at the very least, plays along. I followed her out.
‘Wolfy?’ It was Muzzi.
‘Yes, Muzzi mate, what’s up?’
‘Don’t forget you promised to help me clean up tomorrow,’ he pleaded.
I’d agreed to help Muzzi repair his house when he’d agreed to host the stag night. I wasn’t going to let him down. He’d also agreed to do Longy’s wake. Muzzi was going out of his way and I wasn’t going to leave him to struggle alone.
‘No worries. I’ll round up some troops for tomorrow.’
I headed home, quick shower and shave and one more Nat the Needle suit. Tabatha arrived about ten minutes after I’d finished getting dressed.
‘I see you’ve got Betsy.’
‘Course.’
‘You ready?’ She looked stunning … again. This time a black trouser suit; understated yet elegant.
‘Are you?’
‘Yep. Let’s move.’
We jumped into Betsy and headed to Camberwell registry office. I’d insured Tabatha to drive Betsy before she arrived. I know it doesn’t sound romantic but it was a serious step for me. The registry office was on Camberwell Church Street. I’d expected all these Catholics to be having a church do but I think Anna had rebelled, not wanting to be a hypocrite; knowing she was more sinner than saint. Tabatha parked up Betsy and we got out. She took my arm and we walked in. We were a couple. We hadn’t said it, but we were a couple.
Curtis was already there, as were Marisol and Boom-Boom, who’d also paired off. Geronimo was there with Charlotte, Muzzi, Leon, Kelly and their baby, little Jacob, plus dozens of other people. I knew near enough everybody there, or they knew me. There was much glad-handing. I took up a seat near the back with Tabatha, keeping an eye out. I wanted to see if the mysterious Michael was going to make an appearance, as he knew both bride and groom. Just because I hadn’t been actively engaged in the Longy mystery, didn’t mean I wasn’t still trying to find out what happened.
‘Where’s the groom?’ Tabatha nudged me.
‘Maybe he’s out the back.’
‘He should be standing there waiting for her to come in.’
She was right. We were all waiting for the wedding to start and there was no groom. Thinking about it, I hadn’t seen him at the stag night. Not that I’d been really looking for him.
‘Muzzi ... Muzzi,’ I whispered. He was on the other side of the aisle, as a friend of the groom. ‘Where’s Adriano?’
He shrugged.
‘Was he at the do?’
‘He was definitely there on Tuesday, I remember seeing him, but I don’t remember seeing him after that.’ Muzzi looked worried. He was thinking what we were.
There was mumbling and shuffling in the family seats up front. I could see Puglia talking to one of his bigger sons.
‘This is going to kick off,’ Tabatha said it first. I was trying to feign ignorance, happy face and all that nonsense. ‘He’s ditched her.’
‘Maybe there’s another reason. Maybe he’s out the back,’ I hoped. Everything had been so crazy lately that I really needed something to go as it was meant to. It was a wedding: two people get married, we throw some rice, everyone drinks too much and the best man tries to cop off with a bridesmaid … as it should be.
Just as I was thinking about the way it should be, Anna came out screaming from a door by the front.
‘The bastard’s dumped me.’ She was waving what appeared to be a letter and was crying. She looked stunning. Needles had really worked his magic on the dress.
Puglia rose and ran to his daughter followed by Mama and the rest of the clan.
‘It’s gonna kick off now,’ Tabatha nudged me again.
I lowered my head. I knew she was right but I was still hoping for a normal day.
Adriano’s family were shocked, his parents rose up and went to Anna.
‘The bastard’s run off with Dimitri. My fucking fiancé has run off with my own brother.’ She flashed the letter around, screaming at any one who came near.
I give up. I surrender. There’s no such thing as normal. There was no point hoping. It was a waste of time.
The place was dumbstruck.
‘Well that’s a turn-up,’ Tabatha said.
‘I saw them together at the party,’ Muzzi whispered guiltily.
‘It’s going to kick off any minute, babes.’ Tabatha was pulling my arm. She wanted out.
The various brothers were rising from each side of the aisle, as were the other relatives. A kick-off was coming. And, as they say in the sporting world, it was going to be a humdinger. Tabatha grabbed my arm.
‘We need to go now … unless you want to spend another day with the police?’
She was right. I’d spent so much time with the police recently they were going to name a cell after me.
‘Good point! After you.’
Muzzi saw the manoeuvre and was quick to follow behind, as were Curtis, Leon, Kelly, and a fair few others. All of us retreating to The Hanging Man
I heard what had happened a bit later from Boom-Boom, when he turned up at The Hanging Man. Marisol had stayed to comfort Anna; loss comforting loss. It had started with curses and ended up with the police arresting many, and the odd one ending up in hospital. In between there was much punching, kicking, gouging, numerous swearwords in Italian and Anna running screaming from the registry office. Not exactly as it had been planned! Mice and men, and all that jazz …
The Hanging Man had turned into the unofficial post-disaster reception, as everyone that hadn’t been arrested or taken to hospital turned up, including Anna who was still being comforted by Marisol and was still in her wedding dress.
Marisol told me that Longy was being buried on Saturday. They had released the body and she wasn’t going to waste any time. She wanted him at rest.
‘And the only way he can rest is if you find out who did it,’ she stated.
‘You know I won’t stop,’ I said. And for once I wasn’t lying. The wedding had got me thinking about Michael. He should have been there. ‘You heard anything from Michael?’
‘Not a word. His baby brother’s dead and I still haven’t heard a word. It should’ve been him being buried!’ She wasn’t joking. She hated Michael that much. ‘Why?’
‘Just curious.’ I hadn’t told her about Longy going to see Michael when I’d seen him, and I still wasn’t going to tell her. Seeing all the mad Mediterraneans at Anna’s wedding had started me thinking about Longy. I still knew frig all, but I knew Michael was the key. The fact he was absent made me sure of it.
I stepped outside. I needed to phone Bosley. He told me he hadn’t found Michael but had a few leads that he was checking out. He’d let me know how they went. He also warned me that The Beggar was still in town. A reliable source had told him so. He warned me to watch my back.
Thanking him I hung up.
‘What’s up?’ Tabatha had followed me outside.
‘If I’m ever going to find out what happened to Longy, I need to find Michael.’
‘Where do we start?’ she replied.
‘We?’
‘We.’ She was in. He was our friend, so of course she was in. Of course, she wanted to know. She didn’t need to explain.
As glad as I was that Bosley was looking, I knew there were limits: to what he could do, to the places he could go, would know to go. Finding Michael required a two-prong attack. Bosley going overground and me going under.
‘This ain’t going to be pretty. Might end up dangerous,’ I said.
‘Worse than the wedding we just went to?’
‘Maybe.’ I laughed.
‘Well, you’re gonna need me then.’ She was right, for so many reasons.
‘We’ll see what happens at the funeral. If Michael don’t show, we gotta go digging.’
‘Cool. Gives us enough time to get the rocks back.’
‘You have a one-track mind!’
‘They’re difficult to forget.’
‘Very true.’
‘You wanna a lift home?’ She was offering me a lift in my own car.
‘Cheers, Tabs. Enjoying Betsy are ya?’
‘Love her.’
Friday 9:30 a.m.
We turned up at Muzzi’s early, Tabatha and me. She knew the score with Muzzi, knew if we didn’t help him clean up, he wouldn’t be able to do Longy’s wake. It must have occurred to quite a few other people as well, as when we arrived there was already an army of helpers scrubbing away. Boom-Boom was in a bright pair of marigolds mopping the stairs, which when he saw me clock them said,
‘One word and I’ll beat you to death with this mop. Y’oright there, Sis?’ He was asking her whether she wanted me dead.
‘Fine, Bruv.’
‘Boomy ... Boomy can you give me a hand?’ Marisol was calling. He looked at Tabatha and me and knew the ‘Boomy’ business was making us laugh.
‘One word, Wolfy, just one word,’ he threatened waving the mop at me. ‘Coming Marisol.’
‘That was worth getting out of bed for. Boomy in Marigolds,’ I said to Tabatha. We were both sniggering like twelve year olds.
Curtis was vacuuming away, while Anna, who’d thankfully got changed out of her wedding dress, was polishing the windows.
I actually didn’t mind cleaning; a bit of vacuuming could be quite therapeutic, although this was more like a house clearance.
‘Wolfy, thank god you’re here. Look what someone has done.’ Muzzi dragged me out into the garden.
Muzzi’s house was a disaster. What furniture wasn't upside down was in the garden, except for one leather three-piece which was on the roof, which is what he wanted to show me.
‘How the hell am I supposed to get that down?’ Muzzi fumed.
‘Don't look at me,’ Curtis shot in quickly, before Muzzi called for volunteers.
The Tale of the Wolf (The Kenino Wolf Series) Page 11