‘You know I do,’ she said without hesitation.
‘Then what’s there to sort out? She tells me to go, I’ll go, but she ain’t saying it, so I ain’t going.’ A second heavier thud. The door shook on its hinge. ‘So what’s there to sort out? Cos I ain’t leaving her, so you better kill me, ’cos that’s all you got.’
‘You think I won’t fuck you up?’ Boom-Boom was right up in my grill.
‘Then that’s what you gotta do.’
A third thud. The first hinge broke.
‘Boom, the door’s coming off.’ Leon was panicking. No one was listening.
‘You think I’m playing with you?’
‘You think I care? I’m just telling you how it is, Boom. I ain’t leaving Tabatha, so you don’t want me with her, then you gotta kill me, ’cos I ain’t running.’
‘Wolfy. The Russians!’ It was Muzzi. The Russians had heard the commotion, recognised the participants and stepped out the front door. I ignored him.
‘You must really think I won’t fuck you up, Wolfy.’
‘No, Boom, I don’t fucking care. You got two choices: either kill me or get in your chicken wagon and fuck off.’
‘They’re coming, Wolfy.’ Muzzi again … and again ignored
‘Well, pick one, ’cos that’s it. I ain’t running. Them are your choices. Kill me or fuck off, ’cos you can’t make me leave. So come on. Fucking kill me! Come on, big man, you big coconut-headed fucker. Come on, kill me. Come on.’
‘Oh god, we’re dead.’ Muzzi again. The Russians were charging across towards us.
BANG! The door exploded off the back of the van and a large huge brown bull came charging out.
‘Shiiiiiiitttttttttt!’ We all screamed as the enraged beast came charged towards us.
We ran at the Russians who upon seeing the bull joined in the fleeing, scrambling to get back to the safety of their home.
Two ostriches leapt out of the van, followed by three sheep and a dozen chickens, four turkeys and a couple of partridge; it was like escape from Noah’s ark.
The bull had taken a fancy to one of the Russians, who was wearing a red shirt. It charged past us foaming at the mouth. The Russians reached their front door and dashed inside. One of them tried to close it but the bull stampeded through, smashing it off its hinges, crushing one of the Russians underneath.
‘Come on, Tabs. Follow the bull.’ I ran into the house, crushing the Russian again under the front door. The bull had caught the red-shirted Russian who was wedged between its horns, clinging on to them for dear life as the bull struggled to skewer him. I followed one of the Russians into the front room, and popped him with the tranq gun.
Everybody else followed behind. All except Leon, who was chasing chickens down Warwick Road. Tabatha shot the bull and it slumped to the floor.
‘Mr Milkie!’ Muzzi was looking pleased with himself. He’d found the cat in one of those travel cases that people move animals around in.
We were all in the front room.
‘There’s one missing.’ Tabatha was right. There was a Russian missing. One was under the front door, one stuck between the horns of the sleeping bull, and another asleep in the front room with a tranq dart in his chest.
‘Put up your hands!’
‘Shit!’ He’d found us.
‘Get over there.’ He was standing at the door to the front room, waving his pistol. We moved into corner. He’d caught us all: Tabatha, Curtis, Muzzi, Boom-Boom and me, and of course the cat. Leon was no use, as he was still running down the Warwick Road chasing poultry. A second Russian appeared, from under the front door. He looked … well, he looked like a man that had been under a door which a bull had run over.
The gun-toting one said something to him in Russian, which, although I don’t speak Russian, I knew was ‘get our friend from under the bull’. As a couple of minutes later a third appeared. The two wounded ones gingerly assisted the sleeping one.
‘Put the cat down,’ he signalled to Muzzi. ‘I want the address of Tom Jones, and if you don’t give it I will kill him,’ he gestured at Boom-Boom. The one with the gun was the one Boom-Boom had smacked in the club. Boom-Boom didn’t flinch. ‘Hurry up. This not a joke.’
He raised the pistol and pointed it directly at Boom-Boom. He pulled the hammer back. I heard the click.
‘Okay hold on. Hold on, I’ve got the address. It’s in my pocket.’ Boom-Boom looked at me. ‘What? You’re still a coconut head.’
‘Take it out slowly, left hand,’ the Russian commanded.
‘It’s a bit tricky. It’s in my left inside pocket.’
‘Hurry up or I will kill him and then her.’
I twisted my arm and reached into my pocket and with two fingers pulled out the piece of paper.
‘Throw it on the floor.’
I threw it down but obviously being a piece of paper it floated in the air aimlessly for a minute. The bull wounded Russian flapped at it trying to catch it midair.
‘Thank you. You are the one that struck me. You will be first.’ He pointed at Boom-Boom.’
‘But you got the address!’ Tabatha exclaimed.
‘Yes, and now I will get revenge.’
He aimed his gun at Boom-Boom’s chest. Again Boom-Boom didn’t flinch. He really was a hard bastard.
‘You better make sure you don’t miss, ’cos if you do I’m gonna rip your throat out.’ Boom-Boom said it with such venom that the Russian had to pause and double check his aim.
When he was sure he had Boom-Boom in his sights he said. ‘I won’t’
‘Neither will I,’ said an all too familiar voice from behind the Russian. The Russian lifted his hands up and let the gun fall from his grip. The other two raised their hands as well.
I saw the gun enter the doorway, then the hand, then the arm, then the body of a person that generally would have made me run for the hills. But for once I was glad to see him. It was Jeremiah; my cousin Jeremiah, my Interpol-employed cousin Jeremiah.
‘Get in the centre,’ he signalled to the Russians, who obeyed without question. ‘Here, tie them up, Kenino.’ He threw me some little plastic cable ties.
‘Yes, Cus.’
‘Hands behind their backs’
I tied them up as Jeremiah had requested. ‘Needles said he’d seen you.’
‘I needed a suit.’
‘I told you he’s the best.’
‘Yes you did. Looks like you got one thing right.’
‘Oh here we go.’
‘Kenino, I have a gun.’ I think Jeremiah had expected more fear from me.
‘Whoopy do, Cus. You’re about the twentieth person this week to threaten to kill me. It’s not that big a deal.’
‘I see you’re still as popular as ever.’
‘What you doing here anyway?’
Before Jeremiah could answer, I saw his hands go up in the air and the nose of the pistol touch the back of his head.
‘Shit!’ Jeremiah realised he’d been blindsided.
‘I’ll take that.’ A hand snatched the pistol from his hand. ‘In you go, Mr Cain. Over there with the others.’ Jeremiah stepped into the room with his hands in the air and joined us in our crowded corner. The gun entered first, then the hand, then the arm, then the body.
‘The boss said to watch out for you, Mr Cain.’ It was Frazer, Scott Frazer.
‘Did he indeed,’ Jeremiah sneered back.
‘Oh yeah. Jeremiah Cain, Ex-Secret Service. He said you might be floating around. The boss is gonna be well pleased when I tell him I got rid of you.’
Jeremiah continued to stare daggers.
‘Now take those cable ties from your pocket and tie everybody up. Leave him till last.’ Frazer was staring straight at me. ‘Oh, I ain't forgot you,’ he rasped staring at me. ‘If I had more time I'd deal with you properly. You're lucky I'm in a rush. Tie yourself to him.’ He instructed Jeremiah to tie himself to me.
Once we were all bound, he picked up the paper with Kevin Milkie's addres
s and looking down on me said.
‘I wish I had an hour to spare.’ Then he kicked me full force in the ribs and walked out closing the door behind him.
‘I take it you know Scott Frazer then?’ Jeremiah asked.
‘Yeah, I kinda hung him upside down and hung weights from his nuts … truthfully it's a long story … what did he mean Secret Service? I thought you were Interpol.’
‘Nah, Secret Service.’
‘You never said.’
‘Because it’s a secret, Kenino.’
‘Oh yeah, sorry J. So, when's the back-up coming?
‘There ain't none. I got the the sack … Ex-Secret Service.’
‘That's brilliant J.’
‘Don’t start, Kenino. I only stepped in here to save you lot.’
‘Well you certainly did that, Double-O Dole Cheque.’
‘Fuck off, Kenino.’
‘Maybe Leon will save us!’ Muzzi hoped in vain.
‘I doubt it,’ Boom-Boom chipped in. ‘I saw him drive off ages ago.’
‘Typical bloody Leon!’ I said.
‘Do you blame him? Being around you is bad for people’s health,’ Boom-Boom sneered.
‘You really want to start that shit again, Boom?’
‘It don’t look like there’ll be another time.’
‘Oh for god’s sake, Boom, shut up!’ Tabatha shouted at him.
‘Who you telling to shut up? I told you he was trouble. It’s exactly this kinda bullshit I was talking about.’
‘Listen, you coconut-headed, arse …’
‘All of you shut up!’ Jeremiah commanded ‘I saw this show outside. I don’t need a re-run. We need to get out of here. Can’t you smell that?’
Jeremiah was right. I could smell smoke; the house was on fire.
‘So come on J. Get us loose. Use one of your gadgets.’
‘I haven’t got any.’
‘What kind of spy don’t have gadgets? Ain’t you got an exploding button, a laser watch?’ I was stretching with the watch I know, but I was getting desperate.
‘That’s the movies, Kenino.’
‘So you got nothing then?’
‘No.’
‘Great! I’m about to be burned to death tied to the spy who snubbed me.’
‘You think I’m happy? You think I want to go out like this?’
We could hear the fire crackling it was growing more intense.
‘Boom, can you break lose.’
‘Of course I can’t, otherwise I’d be free wouldn’t I, you idiot.’
‘Don’t idiot me. What’s the point of all them fucking muscles if you can’t break out of a bit plastic?’
‘I’m gonna kill you, Wolfy. I’m gonna fucking kill you.’ Boom-Boom was struggling to free himself, but couldn’t.
‘Will you stop bickering,’ Jeremiah shouted.
‘What? At least I’m trying something.’
‘And what were you trying? To argue your way free?’
‘No, I thought if Boom got angry enough, he’d break loose.’
‘That was your plan?’
‘Well, I ain’t heard you come up with anything, Super Spy.’
‘This is why we don’t speak.’
‘Oh, I thought it was because you’re a kiss-arse, and I locked your boss in a coffin. Hold on, was that M?’
‘Does it really matter?’
‘Yes. Did I capture M in Uncle Clement's sarcophagus?’
‘Kenino.’
‘Did I?’
‘Yes ... okay. Happy now?’
‘Oh, that’s priceless. I captured M.’
‘Brilliant, Kenino, very impressive. Now how does that help us?’
‘It doesn’t obviously. Comrade!’ I called one of the Russians.
‘What?’
‘Are your legs tied?’ I couldn’t remember whether I’d tied their legs together or not.
‘No.’
‘Well, wiggle this way. I need to borrow your leg. Shuffle round, Jeremiah.’ Jeremiah and I shuffled round so that I faced the Russian. He was giving me a sceptical look. ‘If you want to live, you need to help us. You’re the only ones with any appendages free.’ He looked at his compadres.
‘If you wanna live you gotta help. Hurry up. My phone’s in my inside pocket. I need you to push it out with your foot.’ He looked again at his pals. They all nodded frantically. He shuffled across towards me put his foot on my chest and started to edge my phone out. ‘Slowly ... slowly. Ouch!’ He kicked me in the head. ‘I know you did that on purpose.’
‘Accident,’ he replied slyly.
‘Just hurry up. Muzzi, is Anna still at your house with Bruny?’
‘Should be, Wolfy.’
The Russian edged the phone out of my pocket and it flopped out before me.
‘How are you going to use it, dickhead? Nobody can move their hands.’ Boom-Boom jeered.
‘You’re getting untied last for that statement.’ The house was blazing by now: flames were chewing at the door, smoke had started to seep in and the heat had already risen considerably.
I pressed the green dial button with my nose and spoke the words. ‘Muzzi’s house.’ It dialled. ‘Voice dialling. Don’t need hands.’
‘Let’s see if anyone picks up before we start cheering,’ Jeremiah responded. It was ringing, ‘Why don’t he pick up?’ Muzzi squealed.
‘Hello? Muzzi’s house.’ It was Bruny.
‘Bruny, it’s Wolfy.’
‘Hi, Wolfy. Muzzi’s not here. I thought he went with you.’
‘He did, Bruny. Now shut up and listen. We need you to come to 27 Warwick Road. We’ve been tied up in the house and the house is on fire. Bring a knife and come quick. Take Muzzi’s car if you have to, just get here.’
‘I’m on my way, Wolfy.’
‘Bruny?’
‘Yes, Wolfy.’
‘Come fast, or we’re all dead.’
‘On my way.’ He slammed the phone down.
‘Well done, Kenino.’
‘Cheers J. Them are the gadgets you’re meant to have.’
‘Now what?’ It was Curtis, who’d been strangely quiet. The wallpaper had started to peel and the paste was staring to bubble.
‘Damn, Curt. I forgot you was here.’
‘I wish I wasn’t.’
‘What and miss all the fun?’
‘This is what I mean. He thinks this is fun.’ It was Boom-Boom again.
‘You just keep talking, Boom. You just remember your last.’ Smoke was coming into the room. Breathing was becoming hard even if the bickering was still easy. I was starting to lose consciousness. I could feel the smoke starting to take my life from me, drown me in its poisonous fumes. I was half out when I heard the loud crash of the window and felt the cold air come rushing in. I was facing the wrong way and couldn’t see anything.
It had been five minutes since he’d hung up but I knew it was Bruny; he drove as fast as Tabatha. I felt my hands released from their restraints and turned round to see Muzzi climbing out the broken window. Tabatha, Curtis and Boom-Boom were already out. With the speed and agility of a gazelle, Bruny cut the Russians and Jeremiah loose and helped us out through the window into the street.
Coughing and spluttering we returned to the world, saved by a blue fireman in a Hawaiian shirt.
‘Bruny, you’re a bloody hero!’ I spluttered.
‘You handled that real well. You showed real courage and skill. You should be a fireman,’ Jeremiah spluttered.
‘I am a fireman.’
‘Oh.’ Jeremiah fumbled back.
‘Bruny, you’re a star and I owe you one.’
‘Why’s he blue, Kenino?’
‘Long story. Stop being ungrateful.’
‘I ain’t. It’s just he’s blue.’
‘That’s not important ... J what the hell is going on?’
‘Kruchenko stole Magenta Devine's Black List. It's what he's after.’
‘What?’
‘Magenta Devine's Bla
ck List is the key to her power. It's the information about who she controls and how she controls them. Whoever has it controls her empire. Kruchenko is attempting a coup. He's trying to overthrow Magenta Devine. Somehow Kevin Milkie ended up with the list. That's why Kruchenko wants him. You have to get to Milkie before Kruchenko. Save Milkie. If Kruchenko gets to him first, everything's fucked.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘I’ll meet you there. I need to see someone.’
‘Do you know where we going?’
‘Text me.’ Jeremiah was running down the road.
‘I don’t have your number.’
‘I’ve got yours.’
‘Eh.’
‘Super Spy, remember?’
‘Yeah. Bollocks! Tabs, Curtis, come on. We got to get to Wales.’ They ran across to Betsy and jumped in. Muzzi raced across as well and jumped in, still carrying the bloody cat.
‘Muzzi, what you doing?’
‘I’m coming to help save Mrs Milkie’s son.’
‘Why'd you bring the cat?’
‘He might help.’
‘True … good thinking.’
‘We going to get the list aren’t we?’ Tabatha stated, slamming Betsy into gear.
‘Yep.’
‘We’re going to swap it for our lives,’ Curtis announced proudly.
‘Yep. You on fire now, Curt!’
‘Wolfy, after what’s just happened, that ain’t funny.’
‘Yeah fair enough. Bad choice of words. My bag ... Anyway, forget that. Tabs, drive!’
She sped down the road past Boom-Boom who was talking to Bruny. I could actually smell the rage on Boom-Boom as we sped past.
‘You know he wants to kill you now, don’t you?’ Tabatha said, braking left.
‘Yeah, I know. But it’s a long queue and he’s far down the list.’
‘What are we going to do when we get there? The last time we met these Tom Jones nutters they tried to kill us,’ Curtis enquired.
‘Yeah, but this time’s different. We've got Milkie's dad.’ I pointed at the cat. ‘And we've got this.’ I reached under the seat and pulled out the wooden box with the little Tom Jones inside. I opened the lid and showed Curtis the action figure.
‘What the hell is that?’ Curtis stammered back.
‘I haven't got a clue. Longy had it … all I know is we have to get to Milkie before Kruchenko.’
The Tale of the Wolf (The Kenino Wolf Series) Page 19