Dudes Down Under

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Dudes Down Under Page 16

by Suzannah Burke


  “Oh yes, please.”

  “When are you gonna make the announcement?”

  “After I have spoken to Skeet. Charlie wants to have Tristan as his best man, and Izzy will be a bridesmaid, together with Didi and Ginny, and you as my chief bridesmaid. I have no family so I’m gonna ask Skeet to give me away.”

  “Perfect. Just perfect. My God, so much to do. I love it.” She hugged Lucy tight, then scurried off to tell her own man all the news.

  * * *

  “Tony, can I talk to you a moment, please?” Kylie asked.

  “Sure, Kylie, go ahead,” said Tony De La Cruz.

  “You might prefer to hear this on your own, Tony,” Kylie said softly, glancing at Vanessa who sat nursing a drink.

  “Nothing you can say that Ness can’t hear. Go ahead.”

  “Are you certain?”

  “Yeah, go for it.”

  “Karen has left you. She is on the mainland and will be flying out to L.A. in about an hour.”

  “WHAT?” Tony De La Cruz stood up so abruptly he upset his beer all over his ex-wife. She was smiling happily to herself, completely unfazed to be dripping wet.

  Kylie looked at her new friend with fresh admiration. She knew instinctively that somehow or other Vanessa Dayton had something to do with this. She could hardly wait to get her alone.

  Vanessa gave her a cheeky wink and patted her ex-husband's muscled arm. “Easy, tough guy. You don’t want word to get around that something is wrong. Put on that killer smile. You can do this better than anyone. What will people think? So lighten up and go back to your bungalow. Maybe Karen left you a note or something. You can fix this. After all, you can fix anything, right?”

  “Thanks, Vanessa. You are such a dear friend, in spite of everything.”

  “Of course I am. Didn’t I tell you I would always be here for you if you needed me?”

  Her ex kissed her on the cheek, thanked Kylie and left the bar.

  Vanessa Dayton stood up, and in a very un-Vanessa Dayton-type manner punched the air and screamed out, “YES! There is a God! Whoo-hoo! Yes!” then sat calmly down, lit up a smoke, turned to Kylie and said in her most innocent voice, “Such a shame,” then spoilt it all by collapsing in gales of laughter. “Now that, Kylie, my darling friend, is how you punish an ex-husband. Next step, make myself absolutely indispensable, let the rumor factory go to work, allow my dear ex to weave his magic fantasy of undying love re-kindled, and say NO to him on the most public forum I can find. Ah, life is good, yes?”

  Kylie was stunned, absolutely gobsmackingly stunned. All she could do was applaud and hug her friend. She ordered the biggest bottle of Dom Pérignon that Max could find, then asked in an awed tone, “What next?”

  “Ah, my pièce de resistance, the crowning achievement. I confide my very real concerns for poor Karen to Lana Peters.”

  “You are genius, a wicked wonderful genius.”

  “I know.”

  They both collapsed in heaps of laughing vindictive female togetherness.

  * * *

  “Cyril mate, now I want you to bloody behave yourself, you hear me? Grunt twice if you understand.”

  Must we do this in front of Rebecca? It’s so undignified. Can’t you see it on my face? I am devastated. Sigh … all that build up, that anticipation, shot down in flames. I am too depressed. I need a drink.

  “What about I give you a little drink or three, mate. Will that help you be a good boy?”

  It may help a little to dull the edges of my deep, deep disappointment. I’ll even do the grunt thingy if you make it Jack Daniels.

  “This is a special occasion, so Bec and I have decided you can have JD instead of beer.”

  Bec? You call her Bec? Good grief, that’s dreadful. Don’t ever call me Cy, I will not answer. And JD is no less than I deserve after the shock you put me through. Sigh! I am so alone.

  “Right, Bec me darlin’, bring her in.”

  Her, bring her in. Oh puhlease, not another ugly, smelly reptile. Haven’t I been through enough already? I’m going outside.

  “Cyril, you stay right where you are, mate, or no bloody booze. I mean it.”

  Well who is a cranky boy, then? So okay, bring it on. I can take it. Sigh.

  Sadie entered the room with slow sensuous movements. She was in a brand new outfit and she felt wonderful. The lovely Skeet person had given her her very favorite pineapple daiquiri to drink. The outfit was to die for - a frilly little number in red with a matching red hat, and scarf in stark white. Even her Tiger was resplendent in red, although it didn’t go well with his green button eyes.

  “So … what is the deal? What am I supposed to be seein’? Oh, well look at you. Mmm … hi, big boy!”

  “Who said that? Oh, um, oh. Nice outfit.”

  “Why, thank you, sir. My name is Sadie. How do you do?”

  “Sadie, as in Sadie, Sadie married lady?”

  “Oh my God, you can quote Babs … how marvelous! I might add I do admire the designer t-shirt. Quite stunning. Who does your hats?”

  “Oh, you are so elegant. Très chic. Oh my! And that perfume. I must know what you are wearing.”

  “It’s an old favorite. Giorgio.”

  “Armani?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, well, Bec, I think this is moving along quite nicely, don’t you?”

  “Yep, lookin’ good. We might just leave the youngsters to get acquainted, what do ya say?”

  “Yeah, I guess. Cyril, mate, mind ya manners. I’ll be back later. Cyril … Cyril?”

  “Forget it, Skeet. He’s not interested in you right now. Let's go. We’ll check back later.”

  “Sadie, you are so witty. I love it. Tell me, do. Do you have a favorite actor?”

  “Of course. Two, in fact. Al Pacino and Marlin Brando.”

  “Oh, oh my, oh my. Do tell. The Godfather is the absolute bestest movie, although I thought the horse's head in bed was a tad tacky. I mean, why not the whole horse?”

  “Truly? I never thought of it that way, although I was quite impressed when Sonny Corleone got his comeuppance. I didn’t ever like James Caan after that. He was so … so….”

  “Basic?”

  “Exactly. No finesse, not like Al.”

  * * *

  Skeet and Bec opened the door quietly about four hours later. Cyril and Sadie were sound asleep, Sadie with her head snuggled close to Cyril’s. He had his Pooh Bear on the other side. Sadie’s Tiger was abandoned near the pool.

  Skeet and Bec tiptoed quietly back outside, grinning happily.

  Skeet hung a very large DO NOT DISTURB sign on Cyril’s door.

  Chapter 27

  “Charlie? Charlie honey? Where are you, hon?”

  “Boo!”

  “Cheeky devil.” Lucy laughed at the expression on his face. “You look like a stunned mullet.”

  “Why, thank you, dearest.” He smiled, grabbed her and began tickling. Lucy was in fits of laughter and not trying terribly hard to fend him off.

  “So, my beautiful fiancée, did you ask Lana? What did she say?”

  “Yes and yes!”

  “That’s terrific. What now? I’m kinda new at this getting married thing.”

  “Me too. Lana said she’s gonna help organize everything.”

  “Could turn into a media circus, sweetheart.”

  “No, that’s understood. Lana and her film crew have the worldwide exclusive as long as the other guests are ready to go along with it.” Lucy was a little doubtful.

  “I don’t think that’ll be a problem. These guys have been burned, and bad, by the paparazzi, honey. They won’t be looking to ruin their own holiday by telling anyone.”

  “Oh, I hope so. What about your folks and friends? How do you want to do this? Should you call them or see them or …? I don’t even know how big your family is.”

  “I’ll have to think about it some more. Might be best to call them and arrange for them to fly in.”

  “Tell me about
them, Charlie. What are they like?”

  “Dad is an accountant, well was. He retired not long ago. Mom and Dad split when I was around eight, I guess. The five of us stayed with Dad. I haven’t had much to do with my mother over the years. They are both English, you know, although far more Aussie now, of course. I was born in Sydney, raised there and my happiest memories are all associated with the place. So I spend as much time as possible here in Oz when I’m not on location, or doing theatre work or hosting the Oscars.”

  “So we will be able to come back fairly regularly?” Lucy asked hopefully.

  “Yes, honey, even if I can’t get away, there is no reason for you not to come back.”

  “Oh, I can think of a couple straight off the top of my head.” She grinned provocatively and squealed in delight as he chased her around the sitting room. He cornered her and picked her up. “No karate, okay? Promise?”

  “I’ll promise you anything if you shut up and kiss me.”

  He complied.

  * * *

  Tony De La Cruz was not a happy man. In fact he was about as angry as it gets. He sat at the bar and shunned any effort that Max attempted at conversation.

  Max watched him carefully. Years of bartending all over the planet had taught him to recognize trouble brewing. He could see it developing right now. Tony was waiting to explode and lash out. God help anyone that crossed him tonight. This guy was a powder keg. It would take very little for someone to ignite it.

  Max had already tried suggesting that Tony ease up on the drinking and perhaps have a meal. The response was less than promising. The fact that it was not physically possible to do as Tony suggested left not much room for comment.

  Max decided to find Skeet. He was really good at talking down drunks. He handed the bar over to Frenchy and went in search of his mate, hoping like hell he wasn’t off duty.

  “Skeet, Skeet, mate!” Max hurried across to where his friend and Rebecca sat talking. “Skeet, I might need your help with one of the guests. He’s a little on the pissed side.”

  “Oh great. I love ruinin’ my evenin’. Who is it?”

  “Tony, mate. He’s a homicide waitin’ to happen.”

  “Shit! Okay, buddy, gimme a second, I’ll be there. Is he in the Swamp?”

  “Yeah, been drinkin’ for a fair while, too.”

  “You head back and just watch him. Don’t let him wander off. We don’t need him to find a hungry croc anywhere.”

  Max hurried back to the bar and busied himself washing glasses. He was pleased no one else had come in. He considered putting the closed sign on the door. He was about to do that when Ed Guest and Vanessa Dayton walked in together, laughing.

  Oh shit! C’mon, Skeet, the last thing we need is Tony’s ex-wife stirrin’ him up.

  Tony looked over as they entered. He was clearly unimpressed with what he saw.

  Vanessa smiled in his direction, then continued her conversation with Ed Guest, “If you were to buy this place, what sort of clientèle would you attract - CEOs and the Fortune 500 crowd?”

  “I would have to take a look at some of the other resorts and do the numbers. Why do you ask?”

  “Frankly, Ed, I don’t think any of the staff would stay.”

  “Why not? I’d increase their salaries, and time off.”

  “They are Aussies, Ed. Loyalty can’t be paid for.”

  “Oh, you are a naive little thing, aren’t you? Money buys any damned thing you want, including loyalty.”

  “Tell me something, Ed. Would any of your employees, any of them, take a bullet for you?”

  “I pay bodyguards to do that.”

  “Do you have anyone in your life that cares enough to do it without payment?”

  “How about we have a drink and change the subject? Champagne for you?”

  “No thanks. Max makes the best Manhattans I’ve ever had. That would be perfect.”

  Ed headed for the bar instead of waiting for Max to come over. He used the few minutes to clear his head. Questions about his life made him uncomfortable. He didn’t enjoy the feeling.

  “Max, I’ll have a JD neat, and a Manhattan for Ms. Dayton.”

  “Would you like to have ‘em outside, Mr. G?”

  “Not tonight, Max. Bring them over to the table.”

  “Sure thing, Mr. G.” Max frowned as he readied the drinks. Damn! C’mon, Skeet, I have a bad feelin’ about this.

  * * *

  “I’ll go and take care of Max’s little problem and come right back, Bec. I shouldn’t be long. We can grab a meal and put Cyril and Sadie to bed. How’s that?”

  “Sounds good to me. Watch yourself with Mr. Superstar. He’s got a temper, or so the gossip columns say.”

  “Nyah, I don’t believe any of that shit. He’s seems okay to me.”

  “You’re not a female.”

  “I’m glad you noticed.”

  “Sheesh, you’re incorrigible.”

  “Will I be insulted when I find out what that means?”

  Rebecca rolled her eyes and tried giving him a blank look, then blew it by laughing. “Go fix up the problem. I’ll be right here.”

  Skeet headed off towards the Swamp. He was about to enter when Ginny called out, “Skeet, oh I am so glad I found you.”

  “What’s up, sweetie?”

  “The band didn’t arrive and they are supposed to be on in about an hour. Lucy is off duty. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Oh hell, this is turnin’ out to be a night for it.” Skeet looked up and nodded his head. “Yup, bloody full moon! I shoulda known.”

  “What will I do? Should I ring Lucy?”

  “Nyah. I’ll pop in and set up the karaoke machine and screen. It’ll only take a sec. C’mon, sweetie, cheer up. It’s all good.”

  “Thanks so much, Skeet. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “I’ll have to be quick, Ginny. I gotta sort out another little problem.”

  * * *

  Max mixed the martini for Ms. Dayton, poured the neat JD, and was about to take them over to the table when the other guest spoke up. “So, Mr. Rich Man, enjoying my wife, are you?”

  “Oh, crap. He’s drunk! He can be meaner than a cut snake when he’s drinking. Ignore him, Ed,” said Vanessa.

  “What did you say, Tony? I don’t see your wife anywhere around.”

  “You’re sitting with her!”

  “No, pal. I’m sitting with a single lady. You couldn’t hold onto this one. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen your child bride for a day or so. What happened, pretty-boy? Couldn’t hold on to her either, eh?”

  “Jesus, Ed. What are you doing? Don’t bait him. He’s very drunk. Leave it alone.” Vanessa Dayton stood up and picked up her purse. “I think I’ll leave. All this testosterone is making me nauseous.”

  Tony got up and walked unsteadily over to where she stood. He grabbed her by the arm. “So, ex-wifey dear, found a new playmate, huh? He’s a bit old for you, don’t you think?”

  Vanessa tried shaking his grip, unsuccessfully. She spoke quietly. “Tony, please let go my arm. You’re hurting me. You are very drunk. Go home and sleep it off.”

  He maintained his hold.

  “Let the lady go, pal.”

  “You gonna make me, old man?”

  “Don’t be stupid. Let her go! Go home. You’re drunk.”

  “Whatsa matter? No guts, hey?”

  “Tony, let me go right now. Stop being so damned pathetic. I’m not amused, or flattered. You are embarrassing yourself, and doing it damned well.”

  “You heard the lady. Let her go, now!” Ed Guest stood and faced the smaller man.

  “What are you gonna do, old man? Buy me off?”

  Vanessa slapped her ex hard across the face. He let go of her arm. The slap was so unexpected he took a step back, rubbing his jaw. “Shit! What the hell did you do that for, Ness? I was only playin’ around.”

  “You played around when we were married too, Tony. Wake up to yourself. Weren’t you the
one yelling at Kylie for being a damned fool just the other day? Go home and sleep it off.”

  Ed Guest looked at the woman with new respect. “Perhaps you would prefer to go to another bar, Vanessa?”

  “Get a grip! We weren’t on a date, Ed, just chatting. I think I’d rather go alone. You boys play testosterone roulette. Have fun.”

  The elegant blonde stood and walked out of the Swamp. Her hand still stinging, she smiled happily. Tony had been cruising for that for quite a while.

  Ahh, life was good.

  Chapter 28

  Skeet set up the karaoke machine and made the announcement to the assembled guests. They were all enthusiastic and game to give this thing a shot. Mostly they hadn’t had a chance to do anything like this as the venues scattered throughout the States turned into a media frenzy as soon as they appeared anywhere. This promised to be fun.

  Skeet hurried off to the Swamp and was surprised to find Tony De La Cruz and Ed Guest sitting at the bar together. “Hi, guys! How you doin’?”

  Max gave him a shrug and shook his head.

  Ed Guest answered for both of them. “Well, Skeet, we are just sitting here discussing how damned unpredictable woman are. Why don’t you join us, buddy?”

  “No, thanks, fellas. I was enjoying the company of a lovely lady. I think I’ll go back and ask her for a dance. I just stopped by to see if Max needed a break. “You right, are ya, Max?”

  “Yep, all under control, Skeet. Thanks for askin’, mate.”

  “No wucking forries. Catcha later. See ya, fellas.”

  “Yeah, g’night, Skeet.”

  Skeet hurried back to the ballroom and was relieved to find Rebecca still sitting comfortably chatting to Lana Peters.

  “Go on, Lana, have a go. No one’s gonna laugh at ya for givin’ it a try,” said Rebecca

  “I’ve never sung anywhere outside of the bathroom or my car.”

  “So? What have ya got to lose?”

  “My dignity, for one.”

  “Go on, have some fun, let ya hair down.”

 

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