by Haley Jenner
She’s bailing on me.
Again.
She’s leaving me wanting.
A-fucking-gain.
Only explanation I have right now is I’m being Punk’d and when Ashton Kutcher jumps out with a camera waving in my face, I’m gonna deck the motherfucker. I may have just blown a load, but my balls are verging on blue and chasing a bitch is not something I’m used to. Definitely not something that sits right.
This girl is different and as I watch her leave the doors of my club, I vow that I’m done being a pawn in whatever fucking game she’s playing. I’m done chasing. I don’t give a shit if it fucks with Rocco’s plan of revenge. I don’t play bitch. Not to anyone.
Ten
Codi
I kick my heels off with a complete lack of grace, flicking them in opposite directions across my apartment. Dumping my clutch on the entry table, I pace the living area. My entire body bounces with nervous energy, my thumbnail caught anxiously between my teeth.
“OhmyGod. OhmyGod. OhmyGod,” I chant, marching back and forth.
“Camryn?” I pause my incessant movement, yelling into the empty space of our apartment. “Ryn?” I repeat, moving toward her bedroom.
I make the most hideously, desperate whine of a sound, emulating a cry when I find her room empty.
“Crap.”
Turning fast on my heel, I move quickly toward my clutch, throwing the contents in search of my cell. In my rush, I drop it. Twice.
“Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.”
He hasn’t contacted me and even though I shouldn’t expect more, disappointment leaks through my body.
He’d know by now I bailed. Ran from the club in haste. God, it wasn’t the plan. Touching him had felt good. That’s not even the right word. Incredible. Unreal. Amazing.
Parker Shay isn’t a man you bring to his knees. But stroking him in a darkened corner of his club. I felt almost powerful. The rough sounds scratching from his throat. God, I clench my thighs together, every nerve ending in my sex sending fire through my veins. I’ve never felt more turned on in my life. It’s without question the first time I’ve ever wanted anything more from a man. Sexually, anyway. I felt ready. I felt energized by my need, by my want.
I had every intention of following him into his office.
Until I didn’t.
The closer I got to the bathroom, I realized what was about to happen.
Parker was taking me somewhere private.
To fuck me.
I was about to lose my virginity.
In a nightclub.
Parker completely unaware of my virginal state.
It felt wrong. I couldn’t catch him off guard like that. I didn’t feel right. But after what we had just done, I couldn’t bring myself to blindside him in the middle of his workplace. Because as little as I know of him, this conversation will be tumultuous. I’m certain of it.
Camryn was right. I should’ve been upfront from the beginning. I could’ve screwed any chance of he and I exploring this relationship further.
I’m an idiot.
Granted, I didn’t know I’d want to go that far with him. But, still, my dishonesty is why I’m in this mess.
CODI: Funny story. I have this friend that’s bailed on the guy she’s seeing, twice now, at some REALLY imperative moments. Without explanation. Any insight on whether you think this guy will give her ANOTHER shot? Asking for said friend……
My thumb dances over the send arrow before I find the balls to hit it. The text reads delivered and I an overwhelming sense of panic overcomes me. That was stupid. Immature. I just completely devalued what we just shared.
My text goes from delivered to read, but nothing else. No response. No three little dots indicating an imminent reply.
He’s mad.
Understandably.
Trudging through my apartment, I feel deflated by my own behavior. I’m disappointed in how childish I’m acting. I feel like a stupid little girl. Not a twenty-five-year-old woman.
Dropping my cell on my bed, I amble into my bathroom, stripping my clothes as I go, leaving them strewn across my carpet. I adjust the spray of water in my shower, waiting for it to run hot enough to almost hurt.
I feel almost regretful washing the dried remnants of his orgasm from my hand, bitter that that single moment of touching him, may be the only opportunity I had. I want more. Severely.
I wash quickly, a wall of cool air hitting me forcefully as I step from the blistering steam of the shower. A fine sheen of sweat covers my reddened skin, the freshness of the air sliding me in a mugginess as I wrap my body in the thick material of my towel.
Padding back into my room, I run my towel over my skin, drying the excess dampness from my body before discarding it on the ground and climbing into bed.
Reaching for my cell, hopeful anticipation crawls over me, but deflates immediately, the blank screen taunting me.
Falling backward, I groan loudly, unlocking the screen, my read message still open, still unanswered.
CODI: I’m so sorry.
He reads the text as quickly as it’s sent, offering me hope that he’s sitting in his open messages, wanting to reach out. I count five thick drawn in breaths, the heavy inhale of air deafening in the wide space of my bedroom. I choke on my fifth breath, the three dots dancing in succession as he types.
The thumbs-up emoji. That’s it. An emoji. Who even thumbs-up nowadays? It’s detached. Sarcastic. And a whole lot hurtful.
I begin typing another apology. Then delete it. I ask to see him again but delete that before I send it.
CODI: I’ve never had sex before.
CODI: I ran so I didn’t blindside you.
It seemed the only way to respond. With honesty. I could’ve begged for him to see me in person, talk it out. But there’d be no guarantee he’d agree to it. Maybe it’s less awkward this way, if he never wants to see me again, maybe I’ve saved myself the humiliation of him telling me that in person.
PARKER: Rephrase. Wanna make sure I’m not misinterpreting.
Not unexpected. My virginity is shocking. I’m on the fast-track to thirty and I’m untouched. I understand Parker’s need for reassurance.
CODI: I’m a virgin.
I wait, staring at my cell for over an hour, without a response from Parker.
Nothing.
Not even an indication he considered replying.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been holding out the slightest sliver of hope. I’d been enjoying getting to know him. He’s stoic and morose. But behind the walls he seems to so heavily reinforce, I saw something more. Someone altruistic. Someone loving, if only in his specific way. It was there. I wanted more of it.
I consider texting him again. Apologizing, but for what? For not having lost my virginity before now? For not having met a man that set my skin on fire like he does? No. I won’t apologize for that. Sure, I kept information from him that I probably should’ve been more upfront with, but I’ve said sorry for that.
If Parker Shay is no longer interested in me because my hymen is still intact, well, I have to believe I’m better off without him. I’m not scared of it, and nor should he. He’s one of the scariest looking men I’ve ever met, yet he’s intimated by a small membrane.
As I toss and turn in my bed, I convince myself it was better this way. Imagine the conversation in person, you know, considering this one went so damn well. Good God, how humiliating. Would he have just stared at me in silence until I left? At least I would’ve seen his face though, been able to read even a little into his inner thoughts. Now all I have is a thumbs-up emoji and a demand for a paraphrased sentence.
Eleven
Parker
No matter how many times I read her text, the words don’t change.
I’m a virgin.
A virgin.
What. The. Fuck.
The woman I’m working to seduce with the ultimate goal to kill is a virgin. Hymen intact, untouched, pure, type virgin. No coc
k has broken that threshold. Fuck, no wonder she was so skilled at stroking my cock. That’s what she does. Hand jobs.
The evil snare of her cunt isn’t even real, because she has no fucking idea about sex. Jesus.
I stare at the text again, willing the words to change. For this situation not to have just taken a complete nosedive into an abyss that sends me farther into the depths of hell.
Can I take her virginity, knowing I’ll be the only guy she experiences? Yes, because as wrong as it fucking sounds, I don’t want some other dirtbag touching her. She deserves for someone to make her feel good. Not just take. I could do that. I’d give her that until the time it was for Rocco and I to find our revenge.
But even that seems unjustified. Every moment I spend with her, the more I begin to realize, she doesn’t deserve our hate. Our vengeance isn’t warranted, not with her as a pawn.
“You’ve been spinning your cell in your hand for the last hour. What’s goin’ on?”
I pause the incessant spinning of my phone, keeping it upright, held tightly between my thumb and forefinger, Codi’s text still tempting me. I don’t look toward Rocco, I don’t need the judgment, the lack of belief in his eyes. Not right now.
“Started to think we’ve picked the wrong person. Codi doesn’t deserve this shit, man.”
An irritated bark of laughter coughs into the dark space of our loft, and I hear his knuckles crack in frustration. Without glancing in his direction, I can see him. Perfectly. His large, bulging frame quaking with the leashed anger coiled in his veins, hands closing over the other and pushing until the biting crack of his bones echoes through our loft. He’d be shaking his head, disgusted in the words that have just fallen from my mouth.
“She’s good, Rocco. She’s got no clue about the shit her dad does. It doesn’t touch her, never has done. She’s clean. In every sense of the word. Our animosity toward her isn’t warranted.”
His feet move closer, his heavy footsteps thumping loudly against the polished concrete of our home.
“Codi Rein doesn’t need to be deserving of our hate. That’s the point, Parker. She’s not who we’re trying to hurt. Killing her hurts that piece of shit Dominic.”
I throw my cell onto the couch, massaging my eyes with the palms. “I know that. But, why should she have to die because her dad’s an evil motherfucker? It’s not right.”
Rocco’s silence is as heavy as his frame, as consuming as his presence in a room. I’ve pissed him off. Actually, pissed off is an adorable counterpart to what Rocco would be feeling right now. His cyclonic temper would be preparing to wipe me out right at this very moment. But like always, he’ll refrain, never letting me bear even the slightest hint of his fury.
“You think Mom dying was right?”
The pain in his voice stops me and I drop my head. “’Course not. Don’t make it out like that. All I’m sayin’ is, we do this, we kill Codi, we’re no better than him, stripping away the good in the world.”
“I told you not to get caught up in this bitch.”
I finally look at him, scowling at his insult on Codi. “I’m. Not. Fucking. Caught. Up. I’m just sayin’ maybe we just take him out. He orchestrated it. Let’s kill Dominic and be done with it.”
“An eye for an eye, Parker. We want him hurting. We want him livin’ in the pain we have for almost twenty fucking years.”
Just like that my anger spikes again and I know Rocco’s right. Dominic Rein deserves to live in hell. Just as we have. He deserves to have his heart stripped from his body. Just like we did.
Relieved that he can see the anger dancing behind my eyes again, Rocco steps closer, kicking my foot to grab my attention. “What’s goin’ on?”
“She’s a virgin.”
The thick barrel of laughter runs out of Rocco’s mouth and I want to punch him in the face.
“A virgin? Fuck. That’s tough. You’d probably be into that. Too delicate for my tastes.” He shrugs, moving away.
“Take it as a positive sign. This may be your way to redemption. Into the pearly gates of heaven. The sacrificial blood of a virgin.” He laughs again. “Dripped all over your cock.”
“You’re funny. Really fuckin’ funny,” I growl out, but it’s said around a smile. Because it was. Fucking hilarious. His laughter booms through our loft, and I stand, searching for anything to throw at his retreating back.
I throw a cushion, the first thing within reach and miss him by a mile. Shaking his head at my pathetic attempt, he keeps walking. “Pick that up. You know I don’t like shit thrown everywhere.”
I flip him off, throwing myself back on the couch.
PARKER: Did you feel pressured by me? That why you ran?
She begins typing immediately and I groan outwardly at her response.
CODI: No. I wanted it. WANT it. Want you. I was afraid you wouldn’t want me.
She honestly has no fucking clue. Zero. My need is now on fucking steroids. Bursting as a result of long-term abuse. Codi Rein has just handed me the greatest fucking gift I could ever want to receive from her. And she thinks it would turn me off.
Good. Fucking. God.
***
I sit on the edge of her bed, watching her chest rise and fall in sleep. Her naked chest. Tits completely bare for my greedy eyes. Seriously not helping the painfully hard cock that’s stuffed within my jeans for weeks now.
She’s not an attractive sleeper, which is a little surprising. Maybe I’ve fallen into the generalist belief that women this good-looking are perfect in every aspect of their lives. It’s almost refreshing, seeing her with flaws. Her arms are stretched wide at her side, mouth anything but delicately agape. More zombielike. She doesn’t snore though. Plus. I guess.
I reach for her cell, discarded on her nightstand, unlocking it. Her last text to me brightens her screen and maybe I feel a little guilt over not replying. She passed out stressing over my lack of reply.
All honesty, much as it turned me on, I wasn’t certain I’d be seeing her again after that initial text came through. Too many complications. This wasn’t what I signed up for. Taking her life is hectic enough. Her virginity as well. Nah. Didn’t sit right. I mean, I wanted it. Fuck, do I want it.
Really, I’m most concerned about myself. I know I’m a self-serving asshole, but taking her virginity, I think it would mean more to me than it should. Knowing no one had touched her prior. Knowing I’d be the first to feel her. The deepest, warmest parts of her body. Giving me that would spike an irrational sense of possession. She’d be mine. In more ways than one. Because in the end, I’d be her first, her only. Most vexatious, those thoughts felt good. More than. They fueled something within me that I definitely shouldn’t feel. Something satisfying. Something that flooded my veins. Something that began to soothe the flames of hate dancing around my heart.
Then she shred the final thread of willpower I was clutching violently to.
No. I wanted it. WANT it. Want you. I was afraid you wouldn’t want me.
Pure.
One hundred percent.
She was afraid her untouched state would turn me off, would scare me off.
Jesus. This girl. She might just kill me before I do her. Before I knew it, I was picking the lock of her apartment, creeping into her room and staring at her naked chest.
I’ve never wanted anything more than I do right now. Just to touch her.
Reaching out, I glide my knuckle across the underside of her generous sized tit, watching her nipple harden, even in sleep. She stirs but doesn’t wake. Pulling my hand back, I suck my thumb into my mouth, wetting it before circling it over her stiff nipple. First the right. Then the left.
Her lips smack, rolling together in a moan that’s ardently tender. I do it again. She offers me a similar sound and I adjust my position on her bed, offering my swelling cock room.
Pinching her rigid nipple between my fingers, I flick the peak. Hard. Codi’s back arches, her mouth falling open on a desperate swallow of air. I pause, wanti
ng more and she gives it to me, her hand diving under the sheet haphazardly covering her body. I watch the sheet dance as her hand works her body.
She moans.
She whimpers.
And still, I need more.
Throwing off her sheet, her naked body in complete view, I watch her hand move where I long to. Her fingers rubbing softly over her clit, bringing her the much-needed relief I should be giving her.
Leaning down, I suck a nipple into my mouth, my tongue swirling over it heavily. Her breathing stutters, her neck arching on a broken groan.
Watching her through hooded eyes, I pay similar attention to her other nipple, watching as her eyes begin fluttering open.
I bite down as her eyes meet mine, just to see hers close over again.
“Parker.”
Sitting up, I drop my gaze to her hand. She freezes, her arm slowly moving away and I reach out fast to grab it. “Keep going,” I demand, but my voice cracks, the rough whip breaking with how badly I want to see her come. “Keep going,” I repeat, clearing my throat.
She hesitates, her hand no longer pulling away, but still, frozen against the naked skin of her pussy.
Sliding my eyes to hers, her cushy bottom lip caught between her teeth, I watch the uncertainty flicker in her pupils.
“My cock’s been hard for you from the moment I saw you. Your message turned it to granite. I’ve never wanted something, someone” —I correct— “so bad in my life. My need for you went from a solid want to a level of desperate I ain’t ever felt before.”
The uncertainty dies in her eyes as she blinks softly. A moment passes, I couldn’t tell you how long, but our eyes catch and we stay like that, staring at one another, barely breathing.
She moves first. Well, her hand does. Or maybe it’s her thighs. Either way, her legs fall open, gifting me a full view of her cunt and her hand starts its torturously slow movement.