by Haley Jenner
Definitely.
I crack my eyes open, glancing at his sleeping form; large bicep thrown over his eyes, sheet falling precariously low on his chiseled hips. Like the large majority of his body, his arms are heavily inked, tattoos artfully placed on his skin. His tricep is, compared to the rest of him, somewhat bare, the word Lila inked in cursive script, a white rose, thorned stem and all, underlining the name. It’s beautiful and obviously a piece that holds significant meaning, nothing else to disturb the tanned strip of skin. I wonder who she is. Lila. Someone special. Someone who means a great deal to him.
My eyes look downward again, over his naked skin, taking in every last toned inch of him. His body is phenomenal. Likely crafted by an artist, one with an infinite eye to detail, chiseling every line of his muscle to perfection.
I drop my eyes farther to the part of him hidden from sight. He’s hard, that’s obvious under the thin material covering him. I consider reaching out to touch him, to drag my palm along the smooth, velvet touch of his skin, but refrain. I need coffee and I need to pee. Doesn’t stop me from lifting the sheet lightly and stealing a look.
It lays heavily against his hip; thick, rigid and big. God, I can’t believe that fit down my throat. Okay, maybe not all the way, but deep enough, no wonder I gagged a time or two. I’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for how turned on he seemed to be at the sound, hips thrusting forward a little harder every time I choked on him.
But the taste, ugh. It wasn’t so awful when it would leak from his head as I was doing my thing; small spurts of warm salty, sweetness along my tongue, but all at once, in a forceful shot to the back of my throat. God, I had to force myself to swallow it down.
I smile to myself at the recollection of his amused laughter. They’re few and far between, but Parker Shay playful is someone who steals large chunks of my heart without warning.
I move from the bed, grabbing the first of Parker’s shirts I find, discarded on the carpet. It smells like him and I pull the neckline to my nose as it falls over my body, inhaling heavily. I pee, brush my teeth and tiptoe out of Parker’s room in search of coffee. The loft is eerily quiet, and I pull my hands farther into the sleeves of Parker’s shirt, feeling a little out of place and unwelcome in the space.
I busy myself making coffee, opening cupboards and working not to make more mess than necessary. The kitchen is meticulously clean, everything within a specified space. Moving to the fridge, I bend down searching for cream, grabbing it, I spin and scream.
Rocco stands on the opposite side of the counter, hands braced on the top, the muscles in his arms protruding in their definition from the simple stretch.
“Dude,” I breathe out, my heart beating fast in my chest. “Warn a girl that you’re standing in the same space, man, you’re like a panther. Weirdly quiet for someone so big.”
He doesn’t speak, his eyes scanning me up, assessing. He starts at my bare feet, moving up my naked legs, causing me to pull on Parker’s shirt to cover me more, only earning me an arched brow as his evaluation continues. His eyes cross quickly over my body, finishing on my face, his bottom lip tipping out in quiet appreciation.
The dress down of his eyes wasn’t creepy, not in a sexually charged, unwanted attention kinda way, but still, uncomfortable. He was most definitely assessing me, but in an attempt to see inside me, like he was working to see my soul, bared.
“I’m Codi, Parker’s, umm… girl…friend?” The hesitancy in my voice sounds as lame the words and I cringe on the amused smirk that plays along his lips.
“Coffee?” I squeak out, turning back to the machine and pulling an extra mug from the cupboard without waiting for his response.
I feel his stare burning on my back as I rigidly pour coffee, trying to decide whether to continue making one-sided conversation or get swallowed by the awkward silence.
Swallowing deeply, I square my shoulders turning back with his cup and mine. Taking the few steps the counter he’s standing alongside, I slide his cup over tentatively.
“I bet you’re a no cream, no sugar type’a guy.”
He watches me for an additional beat before his eyes drop to the black coffee, his face giving away no emotion as he reaches for it, taking a deep swallow.
His eyes return to me and it’s impossible not to read the skepticism within them. They’re like Parker’s, almost identical in their shape and shade, but somehow more threatening, lined heavier with darkness.
“You wear contacts?”
I stumble over my words, pulling my mug away from my mouth as I’ve tipped it to take a sip. Coffee spills down my front and I close my eyes over in embarrassment. “Ah. No. No contacts.”
He glances to the coffee stain on Parker’s shirt before raking his eyes back to my face. “They’re purple, and familiar,” he adds as an after-thought, frowning heavily.
“Really? That’s cool. I’ve never met anyone with eyes like mine. My family all have blue eyes, just not like mine. They’re lighter.” I’m babbling, running out of breath with my need to fill the quiet air and I curse myself for my awkwardness.
He lifts his coffee to his lips once again, not speaking and my eyes trace the thick muscles of his arms. His tricep holds the exact tattoo Parker’s does; the name Lila scripted along his skin, a single white rose sitting below, its thorned stem underlining her name.
“You and Parker have the same tattoo. Who is Lila?”
His eyes storm at my words, at my attempt at conversation, his face twisting in hate. “Don’t fuckin’ say her name,” he spits, the crack of his voice more cutting than his words. “Lila ain’t none of your business. Don’t ask about her again.”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat and nod my head briskly. “Okay.”
“Roc.” Parker’s sleep clogged voice drifts between us, but neither of us look in his direction, the fire in Rocco’s stare pinning me in place. “Fuckin’ chill, dude. Codi, see you’ve finally met Rocco, my older brother. He’s a real pleasant, friendly guy.”
He approaches, kissing my temple and reaching around me to retrieve his coffee from the counter. He’s dressed only in a pair of gray sweats, his torso naked and still warm from sleep as he wraps his body around mine.
Rocco watches us, brow furrowing at Parker’s show of intimacy before standing and moving from the open space, back toward his bedroom. “Clean the kitchen.”
“Nice to meet you,” I yell to his retreating form, but he ignores me, disappearing from sight.
Tipping my head back, I smile up at Parker, who drops a sweet kiss to my lips. “Random fact,” he gravels out, his voice quiet. “Lila is our mother’s name.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off. “Don’t ask about her again.”
Similarly to what I offered Rocco, I nod my head in acknowledgment, the movement jerky and uncomfortable. “Okay.”
He watches me expectantly and I shrug. “Random fact, totally peeked on your naked-self this morning before I got up.”
His eyes darken with lust, pulling me farther into his body and I barely contain the small moan that threatens to break from my lips.
“Sugar, watched you masturbate in your sleep the night I took your virginity. I think I have one up on you,” he winks, and my cheeks shade without permission.
He pulls my coffee from my hand, placing it beside his on the counter, hands moving under his shirt to my naked ass. He lifts me without issue and I wrap my legs around his naked waist.
“Gonna fuck you in the shower, then I’ll drop you home.”
“What about the kitchen?” I startle as he walks us from the small mess, Rocco’s demand stabbing into my conscious.
“He’ll get over it. Or not. Couldn’t give a fuck.”
I’m about to argue, to demand he take me back so I can work my way into Rocco’s good graces, but he slides a finger into me from behind and I gasp in shocked gratification. He’s right, Rocco will have to get over it.
***
“That is weird.” Camryn glances over t
o me before focusing back on the road. “So, he just stood there mute the entire time, until he bit your head off.”
“Yep,” I pop my P and our eyes meet again, Ryn’s wide and irritated.
“What a dick.”
I shrug. “I don’t know what his issue is. It’s like I had personally offended him by merely existing.”
“Probably mad at the world for some unjustified reason. He hot?”
I hum my confirmation.
“Well, expand on that shit.”
“Same height as Parker, but built. Like muscles on muscles, built. Inked up skin. Blond hair, short trimmed beard, gray eyes, scary eyes,” I correct. “He’s hot, for sure. But really quite, I don’t know... frightening? He looks into you, not through you, into you, like he’s trying to reach your soul, to figure out who you really are. It’s worrying.”
Our conversation moves from Rocco and Parker, Camryn filling the quiet space of the car as we drive with mindless chatter. Pulling up to our childhood home, I grab Camryn’s arm as she moves to get out of the car and she turns back, eyebrow raised in question.
“Listen, can you not divulge too much about Parker to Dad? I’m gonna tell him I’m seeing someone, but I just don’t want his henchmen sniffing around, background checking and stalking my boyfriend.”
She nods easily. “Yeah, ‘course.”
We push through the front door, almost colliding with our mother who stumbles back, more likely from the booze that seems to perpetually remain within her system.
“Ever heard of knocking?”
Her painted lips twist in disapproval, aging her. Really, it’s a shame she’s so hateful. It takes away from her beauty, which like Camryn’s, is flawless.
Her brown hair, like my sister’s, is thick, falling over her shoulders in large waves. Their skin tone is identical, flaunting a natural tan that was unfortunately not bestowed upon me through our gene pool. In reality, I didn’t inherit many of my physical traits from my mother or father. My blonde hair, creamy skin, purple eyes, they’re all my own. I don’t mind it, Camryn hates her appearance because of this woman.
“Hello, Mother. Pleasure to see you too.” Camryn smiles, the falseness in the gesture aching her cheeks. “I see you’ve been sucking the souls of helpless human beings again,” she gestures to the blood red lipstick our mother seems to use as a trademark. “Also, our home, if you don’t want us walking in, like we’re, I don’t know, your children, change the locks.”
I remove my coat, remaining quiet through their typical hellos.
“Codi,” she greets indifferently, ignoring Camryn, further infuriating my sister. More than her insults, Camryn loathes her indifference, the ease in which the woman who grew us inside of her body, can reject her.
“Mom.”
She sighs, looking me up and down. “I never understand why you dress this way. Black jeans, white t-shirt. Really, Codi, you have a beautiful figure, you should dress to show it off.”
“I’m wearing the exact same outfit, you don’t think I should dress to show my fabulous figure?”
Mom rolls her eyes, turning back to Camryn. “More often than not, you’re dressed in pajamas. Honestly, Camryn, I’ve given up on whatever seems to be broken inside of you.”
Camryn goes quiet, her face twisting in an unhealthy mixture of hate and pain. It’s wrong we even refer to her as our mother. Biologically she may very well be, but there’s no loved shared, no mother-daughter bond, no bond at all for that matter. The woman is completely unfeeling, void of any actual emotion except those created to cause pain. Hate. Envy. Spite.
“Have another mimosa, Sarah,” I bite out, grabbing Camryn’s hand and pulling her through the house in search of our dad.
“Fuck, I hate that bitch.”
“She was literally born without a heart. God knows what black storm sits within her chest to make her so awful.”
“Ignore her, I’ll deal with her later.” Our dad’s thick voice filters toward us as he comes into view and we move forward, straight into his tall frame, hugging him tightly.
“Beautiful,” he kisses Ryn’s cheek. “Beautiful,” he offers me the same.
“You need to come by more, I miss you both too much,” he chides, slinging an arm over each of our shoulders and walking us toward the kitchen.
“Not gonna lie, Dad, your house guest is a little bit of a buzzkill.”
He laughs, but it’s a sad sound. “She knows too much. I throw her out, she could destroy me.” His eyes close in helplessness and it’s so out of place on his perfectly constructed demeanor, Camryn and I share a confused look.
“Not against her disappearing,” Camryn teases and I bark out a snort of laughter.
“Girls,” he warns and Camryn only winks, earning her a kiss to the temple.
***
“What’s new? Tell me what’s happening with my girls,” Dad speaks, eyes focused on the steak he is currently cutting.
Ryn takes a sip of wine, twisting the stem of the glass as she places it back on the table. “Working. Same old. Nothing new.”
“How miserably predictable of you, daughter.”
Sarah takes her seat at the end of the table, leaning back in her chair and nursing her drink. She won’t eat. Like always, she’ll swallow booze and throw out insults until our father banishes her from the table. It’s sad really. Family dinners, Rein style.
“Codi?” Dad ignores our mother, glancing toward me.
I shrug, chewing my food and swallowing before speaking. “Work’s good. Life’s good, I started seeing a guy. He’s nice.”
“Oh, lucky guy, he know your chastity belt’s padlocked shut?”
I cough out a humorless laugh. “Some people are attracted to women who respect themselves enough to not sleep with the first guy that tells them they’re beautiful, Mother.”
“You’re a prude, Codi. Don’t sugarcoat it.”
My father’s fist hits heavily onto the table. “Watch your mouth, Sarah. Or leave us.”
She holds up a hand in mock surrender, bringing her glass back to her lips.
“What’s his name?”
I shake my head at my dad’s question. “Parker. But that’s all you’re getting right now. I’ve only just started seeing him, no need for your minions to be looking into him.”
An amused smile tugs at his lips. “Minions. Funny. I don’t like being commanded by my daughter, but I’ll respect your privacy. For now. Gets serious, I’ll be checking him out. Mark my word.”
Nodding, I refocus my attention on my plate, cutting my steak and the conversation about Parker off as I do so.
“At least you’re trying,” Sarah slurs out. “This one gets spooked by the first man to touch her,” she indicates to Camryn, rolling her eyes. “It’s like you’ve sworn off men permanently. Or maybe they’ve sworn off you, too much work.”
Placing her knife and fork calmly on the table, Camryn stands, her chair dragging along the floor painfully as she does so. “Excuse me.”
She rushes from the table and I know better than to follow her. She needs her space right now, it’s the only way she tames the nightmares in her mind.
“Go.” The menace in my father’s tone sends needles up my spine but my mother only sighs in boredom. Content that she’s offended us all enough, she stands on wobbly feet moving away to spread misery to anyone else who crosses her path.
“She’s so vile. Surely there’s a way around having to stay with her.”
Dad smiles sadly, reaching for his glass. “I wish, beautiful, but Sarah Rein holds the ability to take something so unbelievably important from me,” he stresses and I see the vehemence in his eyes, the truth behind his words.
He lets me watch him in silence, a cautious sadness cloaking him. “She has the ability to crush me, in here”—he taps his heart— “in a way I could never recover from.”
His cryptic words cause me to frown. “You love her?”
He laughs then; sarcastically, bitterly. “No, Codi
.”
“Then…” I pause, struggling to understand.
“Sweetheart, I hope with everything within me that you never need to have intimate knowledge of what I just said. Just know that I don’t keep her around for her compelling company. I’ve been forced into a corner I’ll forever be happy to be confined to.” He squeezes my hand and my eyebrows knot together.
My dad chuckles softly, lifting my hand to kiss my knuckles. “Nothing to worry your pretty head about, Codi. I’m sorry that you and Camryn have to be subject to her hideous nature. If there was any way around keeping her in our lives, that wasn’t illegal”—he adds on a grim smile— “know that I would’ve taken it.”
Camryn walks back into the dining room, skin paled, eyes a little dim, but she smiles at Dad and I, and it’s genuine. We bring her comfort. We bring her a small amount of peace and while I wish I could do more, I’m thankful all the same.
Fifteen
Rocco
Stepping from my room, I reconsider, pausing in my doorway and listening for any sound of them. I’m hit with quiet and I breathe a sigh of relief. They’re nauseating and her fuckin’ giggle. Fuck. Me. I want to drive nails into my skull. She’s so fucking chirpy, all the goddamn time. Smiling. Waving. Doin’ small insignificant things for me; making me coffee, making sure the kitchen is how I like it, sterile. She’s even seemed to memorize the way I like the couch cushions because they’re always neatly in their place after she’s been over. Parker ain’t that considerate.
I trudge through our loft, no immediate plans for the day, save maybe working out. Fuck, I need it. Overnight shifts at Ruin are killer, especially in succession. I’m wrecked. Only saving grace, not being here means I don’t have to listen to my little brother bone his bitch.
I shiver involuntarily. I don’t know what’s worse, listening to her moan and beg for more or Parker’s rough voice talking dirty. She went from virgin to wildcat in a turn. Glad for Parker, to some degree, getting his fill while he can. Bitch is hot, no denying that; killer body, perfect tits, pretty little face. He deserves his slice, just fucking sucks that I have to listen to it.