Keagan must be thinking along the same lines because he signs, Have you eaten?
I shake my head.
Let’s go make something.
* * *
It’s impossible to fall asleep, and I stare up at the dark ceiling, waiting for my eyes to grow heavy. It’s been two days since Devlin agreed to give me the space I’d requested, and his absence has weighed heavily on my soul.
Sometimes, I wonder if perhaps I’m infatuated with him. It seems impossible to care this much about a man that I barely know, but I can’t help how I feel. It’s hard knowing that I’m not going to find a random text from him because he’s checking on me. The limo will no longer pick me up after my shift at the library. He won’t be there when I least expect it, and it’s disappointing.
The worst are the dreams I have, the explicit ones where I yearn for his touch. My body aches for him, and I don’t know how to end this misery. Does he think about me as much as I think about him? I know he checks in with Keagan from time to time. Keagan had reluctantly confessed it when I’d asked him on our way home from the library today.
Logically, I know distancing myself from Devlin is the right thing to do. Devlin had admitted that he’s killed people, and those two men are still missing—no surprise there. But my heart wants the man hidden behind the cold exterior of the man that’s in charge of the organization.
Life would have been much easier had I never met Devlin Kade, but if we hadn’t crossed paths, I wonder if my situation would have become dire. If there’d been no kidnapping that day, would it have eventually happened anyway? And if not, what would have happened then? Would I have managed to find a job? Or would my luck on the streets have run out as I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time?
These are all thoughts that swirl around in my mind. Even though I’d balked and I’m still peeved with Devlin’s tactics when he’d pulled me from the streets and given me a fighting chance at a real life, I know that I owe him a deep amount of gratitude. I hadn’t done it on my own like I’d wanted, but what’s done is done. I have a job and roof over my head. Sometimes, things don’t quite work out the way that we want, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.
That last thought is the one that keeps me up at night. So Devlin doesn’t fit into my criteria, does that mean I can’t adjust my expectations? Am I doing the right thing? My conscience insists I can’t get close to someone like Devlin Kade because of what he does, but if it were that black and white, why do I feel this way?
* * *
For the first time since starting the job at the library, I’m let go early for the evening because they’re overstaffed. I should probably text Keagan, but I’m not in the mood for company, and I don’t want to go back to the apartment just yet.
As I leave the library, I decide to walk around the city for a bit. I could use the fresh air, and maybe it’ll brighten my mood. It’s been two weeks since I’d seen Devlin, and the disappointment isn’t fading like I’d thought it would. I try to block him from my mind, but he inevitably pops up in my thoughts.
After walking a few blocks, it dawns on me that I need to let Keagan know that he doesn’t have to meet me at our normal time. I move to the side of the sidewalk so that I’m not in the way of the other pedestrians, and I pull my phone from my purse. After sending a quick text that my shift had ended early and I’ll be home in a while, I tuck the phone back inside my purse and continue walking. He’s been overprotective since the attack in the parking ramp stairwell, so I know he won’t be pleased. I’d prefer not to get into an argument over text messaging, so I’ll deal with him face to face when I arrive back at the apartment. For now, I’m hungry, and I just want a little time to myself.
It’s difficult adjusting to an actual home with walls surrounding me. And sometimes, I feel suffocated. When I’m in one place too long, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything worthwhile. I enjoy being out and about, especially around people. I just want to feel alive, and lately, I feel like I’m being ‘kept.’
A little café draws my attention, and I step inside and wait in line to order a croissant sandwich and a mocha latte. I love New York. There are so many things to see and do. I especially enjoy eating at new places and simply exploring.
After finding a small table in the very back, I take a seat and begin to eat. The café is bustling with activity, and I’m content to watch the other patrons.
It’s not until I’m nearly finished with my meal that I begin noting people are coming in looking wet. Is it raining? I’m not sitting near the front windows, and from my location in the café, it’s impossible to see whether it is or not. It must be though, and I turn crestfallen. My umbrella is at the apartment. The forecast hadn’t said anything about rain today.
I mentally calculate how many blocks the café is from the subway, and I inwardly sigh. It’s going to be a wet walk home. I suppose it’s karma for giving Keagan the brush off.
When I’m finished, I scoot from the small table, and an older woman quickly claims it as I throw my trash away in the nearest bin. The café has a line of damp people waiting impatiently, and I walk by and push past the glass doors to step onto the sidewalk.
I pause under the overhang. It’s pouring, and it looks like nighttime thanks to the clouds that have rolled in. It certainly hadn’t been sunny when I’d ventured from the library, but I hadn’t expected it to turn into this.
Then, I shrug to myself. Rain is unpleasant but harmless, so I step out from the shelter of the overhang and begin walking down the sidewalk. People are walking by with umbrellas, and those that don’t have them are running or jogging.
I’m completely drenched, and I don’t see how I could possibly become any wetter, so I take my time walking as the rain relentlessly pelts me. I’d worn a skirt today—something I’m very much regretting now. I don’t usually wear skirts, but I’d decided that I needed a variety of outfits for the library instead of wearing black pants daily. Now, water collecting on the sidewalk is splashing at my bare ankles and calves with every step.
I think I must’ve zoned out, because suddenly, a man blocks my path with an umbrella.
I come to a sudden halt and look up with surprise.
Aiden’s standing before me. He motions to the street, and I automatically turn and spy the black limo idling at the curb. My heart leaps in my chest knowing Devlin is likely inside. There’s no denying the compulsion to see him. I duck my head and walk to the limo with Aiden hovering at my side, blocking the rain with the umbrella. He quickly leans past me and opens the door.
I hesitate since I am absolutely drenched, but it seems unfair to make Aiden stand in the rain any longer than he must. So instead of protesting, I tuck down and climb into the limo.
From the outside, the windows are tinted and looked black, but in the inside, the lights are on. Devlin is seated a few feet away from me in all his masculine glory. He looks immaculate with his dark hair styled in his usual short but slightly mussed style, and the sharp, expensive-looking gray business suit offsets his tanned complexion. The rain clearly hasn’t touched him, whereas I look and feel like a drowned rat.
I brush a strand of wet hair away from my cheek and glance at the door beside me, which has been closed. I turn back to Devlin and frown as the limo merges into traffic. How had he known where I was? Why had he sought me out? I drop my eyes and pull my phone from the purse.
Keagan, I bet.
He’d tattled, and of course, the phone has GPS. As soon as the screen lights up, I note that I have new text messages from Keagan. I’ll read them later.
I open the most recent text conversation with Devlin and type, What are you doing here? I press send and look at him questioningly.
He already has his phone out, and he looks at the screen. His eyes flicker to mine, and his lips move. Thankfully, the light is bright enough for me to understand most of what he’s saying. “A little birdie said you went rogue tonight.”
His comment earns
him an eyeroll before I turn my attention back to my phone. I have every right to go rogue when I want. I didn’t realize you were literally keeping tabs on where I’m at. After I send the comment, I watch him intently.
Those sexy lips curve, turning amused. “You’ve become a bit of an addiction, even when I’m keeping my distance.”
My lips part as I stare at him, allowing his confession to sink in.
Suddenly, I’m pitched sideways as the limo comes to an abrupt stop, and my phone goes flying out of my hands as I catch myself on the seat before I can tumble to the floor.
When I look up again, I see that Devlin is reseating himself. I’m assuming he’d planned to prevent my face from smashing into the carpet if needed. He’s scowling towards the front of the limo as it moves forward once more—this time, smoothly. New York is filled with crazy drivers, so I’d stake my life someone had cut off the limo.
My phone is on the floor, and I move forward to pick it up the same time Devlin does, and our heads collide.
I wince and sit back, rubbing my forehead. Before I can do anything more, Devlin is quickly pulling me into his arms and pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. My heart immediately melts, and I lean into him, inhaling his scent. It’s been too long.
He seems unable to release me, and when I tilt my face to look up at him, we both freeze. The temptation is too much to resist, and something flares in his eyes before his lips claim mine.
His firm lips angle over my own, and I part them, allowing him to taste me. The kiss is carnal and oh-so-hot. My heart thuds inside my chest, and my lower belly begins quivering with need. The impulse to climb onto his lap is too strong to ignore. As I settle onto him, my skirt rides up my thighs as I brace my hands on his firm shoulders.
Devlin immediately grabs my hips without missing a beat of the kiss, and he begins to grind me against the hardness between his legs. A whimper escapes into his mouth as he uses one hand to pull my skirt up to my waist so that it’s out of the way, and then he arches his hips and continues to rub himself against my femininity.
My eyes nearly roll back inside my head as the sensation brings me pleasure. I forget about kissing Devlin as I pull back, greedily grinding myself against the bulge in his pants as I bite my lip.
This is happening too fast, but I don’t care. I just want to feel my body melt with pleasure, and I know he’ll take me there.
Suddenly, Devlin tears my panties, and cool air brushes against my bare bottom. My eyes fly open, and I find Devlin watching me, waiting for permission.
Don’t stop, I mouth to him.
His eyes immediately drop to where my legs are parted and my slick folds are bared to him. Wicked intent flickers in his gaze, and I glance down to see that my desire has caused my clit to swell, and the nub is distended, just waiting to be played with. I feel wanton and sexy with my legs spread on his lap while he’s still fully dressed.
He teasingly brings his hand closer to my core, and then he brushes the knuckle of his pointer finger gently over my clit. My hips reflexively spasm, and it’s all I can do not to shove his hand where I want it.
I jerk my eyes up to his, and he’s watching me now. Those slate gray eyes burn into mine as he begins to tease the sensitive bundle of flesh that aches almost painfully with anticipation. I’m certain a moan escapes my lips as his talented fingers torment me. He switches to featherlight caresses and watches me squirm on his lap, my body begging for more—so much more.
I’m unable to look away as he rubs my clit in slow, seductive circles, and I pant and begin to undulate in time to his manipulations. When he traps the tender nub between his forefinger and thumb, he gently rolls it between them, causing the pleasure to intensify immensely.
An orgasm is building deep within me, and I push myself into his capable hand, my lips parted as I’m caught in the turbulent heat of his gaze. When the pleasure hits, I throw my head back, and I’m certain I am moaning, but I don’t care. My fingernails dig into his shoulders, and he continues massaging the bundle of nerves until I’ve ridden out every bit of pleasure that I can. A second later, I fall forward and slump across his chest.
His arms wrap around me, and I can feel his face burrowing into my hair as I struggle to catch my breath.
That was incredible, and more than anything, I want to return the favor. I want to explore him like he’s explored me. But as I straighten to look at him, I can see that reality is settling in. He rests his forehead against mine, making no move to kiss me further.
I close my eyes and draw in a breath, but all I’m doing is inhaling him, and it intensifies my yearning. My eyelashes sweep upwards, and I stare into his beautiful eyes that look so tortured.
Part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and go back to the penthouse with him, but I know there’s already going to be repercussions from tonight’s unplanned encounter. As difficult as it is, I ease away from him, putting distance between us as I tug my skirt back down.
I watch as Devlin pulls together his composure, and he picks up my phone that had fallen upon the seat next to him. He hands it to me.
I mouth ‘thank you’ and open the text messaging. I stare at the conversation we’d been having and hesitate. What do I say now? It’s kind of difficult to continue the conversation we’d been having after what had just gone down.
Inevitably, my eyes stray to his, and I find him watching me intently. He looks amazing and so…normal. No one would ever look at him and think he’s the mastermind behind so much crime. Wait, I do have a question, and I need the answer.
I focus on the phone and type, Those men that attacked Keagan and Lance, they’re missing.
He glances at his phone, and his face goes blank. When he looks at me, he says nothing.
My gut clenches, and I know he had something to do with their disappearance. Did you kill them?
His eyes flicker to his phone before locking on mine. There’s no remorse in their depths. Just acceptance. “Yes,” he says simply. No explanation is given, nothing to defend his actions.
Slowly, I nod. He’s being honest, but it’s also disturbing.
“Does that scare you?” he asks, his eyes never leaving mine as he waits for my response.
Does it? I don’t think so. I think I’m more troubled than anything. Those men, they didn’t deserve to lose their lives for the crime that was committed. Jail time, yes. Death, no. I want to ask him why, but the limo has come to stop.
Devlin frowns, and he looks ready to delay Aiden, but I know it’d be best to end this here and now. I flash him a faint smile and mouth ‘goodnight’ before turning to the door.
As if on command, it opens, and Aiden is there. He helps me out and escorts me to the building where the doorman stands, holding the door open.
Before I enter the building, I turn back towards the limo, knowing that Devlin is watching. I give a sad little wave and turn away, smiling kindly at the doorman.
Twenty-one
Devlin
Fuck.
The little wave she’d given me, and the sad expression on her face tells me that she’s walking out of my life again—this time permanently. I release a heartfelt curse and rake my hands through my hair as the limo pulls away from the curb.
I should have lied to her about the men I’d killed, but I couldn’t. I can’t lie to Charli—never Charli. She’s the one person who sees the real me, but she also needs to see all of me—even the bad parts.
I still don’t regret killing those fuckers that’d hurt her, all over a hate-crime against two men in love. Granted, those assholes hadn’t been focused on her since she wasn’t their intended target, but she’d still been hurt.
The taste of her is still on my lips, and my mood has soured immensely. It’s stings wanting someone so badly and not being able to have them, but I can’t force her to look beneath the darkness and accept the man that lingers within the shadows. Charli’s special, and she needs to be able to make up her own mind. As much as I’d wanted to take things
further earlier, as badly as I want to fuck her senseless—I can’t. For the first time in my life, I need to make certain my bed partner is entirely with me—emotionally and physically.
Now, she’s slipped through my fingers again, and I’m left wanting her more than I can fully comprehend. Not that I want to attempt to sort out the inner workings of my mind to delve into it. No thanks. That emotional shit can just stay in the dark recesses of my mind, collecting dust.
Knowing it would be wise to refocus my attention on something other than the ache in my chest, I pick up my phone once more. I call Aiden, and he picks up on the first ring. “Sir?”
“Detour to Elias’s,” I say curtly.
“Yes, sir.”
I disconnect the call and tuck my phone inside my suit jacket. Then, I slip my hand inside my pants pocket and brush my fingers across the smooth fabric of Charli’s panties. I’d shoved them in there after tearing them from her delectable body, needing something to take home with me. If it were anyone else keeping such a memento, I’d call them pitiful. It’s me doing the taking, though, and I know I’ve fallen for her in ways that I never imagined were possible.
My lips compress tightly. I’ve fallen for a woman that continuously rejects me, and yet the second she’s willing to let me in just a little, I keep coming back. Most women would thrive on having that kind of power, but I don’t think Charli realizes just how much control she has over me. That, in itself, is intoxicating. She’s the real deal, and I know she’d never deliberately tear me down or play cruel games simply because she can.
I release a sigh. I don’t regret earlier, but it’s torture to touch her, to taste her, and know that I still need to keep my distance. Even if it kills me, I am going to honor her wishes. If Charli ever truly lets me in, it needs to be on her terms without my manipulations. Until then, I have to wait. While I do that waiting, I have plenty to attend to, starting with Elias.
When we reach Elias’s private residence, the men at the gate buzz us through, and Aiden parks beneath the carport next to the estate’s entrance. Aiden is at the limo’s door in an instant, and as I climb out, I find Tobias standing guard, his expression blank. We’d come from a meeting earlier, so he was sitting up front with Aiden when Keagan had text messaged me that Charli was off on her own.
Caught in the Devil's Snare Page 18