But whom could he ask?
As much as he loved Holiday, he didn’t trust the town with this secret. He’d seen the way they’d treated Jordan when she’d been outed as a witch. Though he’d done all he could to protect her, it hadn’t been enough. After all, she’d left.
He could have told his brothers countless times. In fact, he almost had every time the moon started to grow and he knew his days as a solid were numbered. But he could never gain the courage to come out say and he was a ghost.
They’d already lost so much with their parents’ deaths and having to grow up too fast. He hadn’t been able to put anything else on their shoulders.
God, he felt like a coward. He leafed through another text, his gaze straying to articles about séances, spells, and resurrection. He looked at the clock and grimaced. Only a couple more hours before he faded again. It was two days before Halloween and the full moon, so tonight was the first night of his curse. He turned another page, willing it to have the answers.
No such luck.
He’d find something. He had to because, if he didn’t, he didn’t know how much longer he could live not being alive.
****
Jordan stood on Abby’s front porch, a box of homemade sugar cookies in one hand, still warm from the oven, and a bouquet of flowers in the other. She looked like she was picking up her date for a Valentine’s Day dance, not like a woman ready to grovel to the only woman in the world who cared about her.
She held the flowers a bit tighter and bit her lip. God, she couldn’t believe she’d reacted like that to Abby’s innocent question. She’d almost killed her friend, and all because she’d been too insecure to talk it out without being a bitch.
The look on Tyler’s face…
God. She’d most likely lost Tyler and Abby for good. Frankly, if the two of them gave up on her, she deserved it. She rocked from foot to foot, unease creeping through her.
Why was she here? This wasn’t going to work. She closed her eyes, her magic pulsating through her. That was the one thing she couldn’t let happen. She couldn’t let her magic run away with her again. She had to learn to tame it. Control it. Own it.
Tyler was right.
She was scared.
She’d have to learn to control her magic and be okay with it. If she didn’t, she might hurt someone she cared about…or kill them.
Right now, she had to do something even more important. Apologize. She didn’t deserve forgiveness, and Abby could very well slam the door in her face, but she needed to say she was sorry.
God, sorry was such a small word, often meaningless in most situations, but she still needed to say it. Abby deserved at least that.
The door opened and Abby looked at her with a frown on her face. “Are you going to stand out here in the wind for thirty more minutes before you actually ring the bell? Or do you just like to adorn front porches in your downtime?” Abby asked, her hair in a cute ponytail on the top of her head. She wore tight yoga pants and a tank top and looked like she had just been working out.
“Hi, Abby.” And now she needed to say something. Anything. And….nothing.
“Oh God, you brought cookies?”
Jordan nodded, nervous. She held out the box and flowers, her head down. She really sucked at this.
“You might as well get out of the cold and come in.”
Jordan looked up, and Abby walked in, leaving her alone on the porch. She looked around and shrugged. Maybe Abby wanted to kill her in private. She walked in, closed the door behind her, and took off her coat.
Abby lived in a small, one-bedroom house that sat on a large amount of acreage so she could add on if she ever wanted to. Inside, the house personified home and warmth, filled with comfy couches and chairs—the kind you wanted to sink into and take a nap. Knick-knacks seemed to be everywhere, but the house wasn’t cluttered.
It looked like a home that desperately needed a family.
Jordan held back a sob, remembering what she’d said to Abby about her lack of a love life. She deserved to be drawn and quartered in the center of town.
“Okay, it’s official. I’m ruining my diet with one of these cookies,” Abby said as she walked back into the room, a nervous smile on her face. “They’re still warm and everything.” She bit into one and moaned. “You’re bad for me, Jordan Cross.”
Jordan hiccupped a sob. “I know, Abby. I’m so, so sorry for what I said and did. I didn’t mean it.”
Abby lowered her head and sank into her couch, cookie forgotten.
“Abby?” Jordan knelt in front of her, her hands shaking.
“I know I’m not pretty. I know that, Jor. I know that I don’t have a chance with Tyler, or any man in Holiday for that matter. I just thought you understood that I didn’t want to talk about it.”
Tears slid down both of their faces, and Jordan took Abby’s hands in a firm grip. “You are beautiful, Abby.”
The other woman shook her head vehemently. “Stop it. Just stop trying to make me feel better.”
“I’m not going to stop. You have curves to die for.”
“I’m fat.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just not anorexic or fake.”
Abby let out a snort.
“You’re beautiful. Men look at you, Abby, once you let them.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Most men see you as their friend, Abby.”
“If they even see me at all.”
Jordan shook her head. “Then that’s their problem. You could have any man you wanted if you tried. But I know you’re holding out for someone.”
Abby looked into her eyes and gave a weak smile. “I know Tyler will never see me. I’m okay with that.”
Jordan’s heart broke for her. “Don’t be. He saw you yesterday.”
Abby gave out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, it only took you almost killing me to do it.”
Pain lanced through her. “I am so, so sorry, Abby.”
“Oddly enough, that part I can forgive, Jordan. You didn’t mean to do it. You just need to learn to control it better. And you will, won’t you?” Abby looked at her with a pointed look, and Jordan lowered her head.
“I’m going to try,” she whispered.
“Don’t try, do.”
They laughed, and Jordan shook her finger at her. “Okay, Yoda.”
Abby blushed. “Oh God, don’t let Tyler know I’m a geek too.”
“Hey, I knew it was a Star Wars reference too.”
“Yeah, but you already have Matt. Your geekiness won’t get in the way of getting a man.”
Her stomach ached, and Jordan moved to sit next to her friend. Everything seemed to roll into one, what she’d done to Abby, how her relationship with Matt was progressing…her entire life. “I don’t know about that.”
“Tell me about it.” She handed her a cookie and took a bite.
Jordan licked the frosting off—mmm, goodness—and tried to put into words what her body had been telling her for years.
“I almost hurt you because I’m afraid to be a witch.”
“I know, hon.”
Jordan resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “How is it you and Tyler knew that, and I didn’t?”
Abby blanched a bit at Tyler’s name, and Jordan immediately regretted saying his name. “Sorry, Abby. I’ll quit talking about him.”
Abby shook her head. “No, you need to say his name, and I need to get over it.”
Jordan gave Abby another cookie and didn’t go further on that subject. “Okay, so I need to figure out how to be a witch.”
Abby smiled. “You already know, Jordan. It’s in you.”
“Then why do I suppress it?”
“Because you’re scared.”
Jordan looked at her hands and watched as sparks radiated out from the tips. Unlike the manic energy from the day before, these were warm and loving. Like little balls of light that sparkled and knew they were in the right place. She should have been surprised by what
she was seeing, but she wasn’t. Her magic was tied to her emotions, she’d known that. But she hadn’t been taking care of herself, so she couldn’t control it. She looked at the little balls of light and sighed, they were right. This was what her magic was supposed to be. Controlled and loved.
Why couldn’t all her magic act like that?
Abby held her hands out tentatively, and Jordan watched as the little sparks danced to her friend’s hands and circled them.
Abby gasped. “It tickles,” she said with a laugh.
“Really? It only feels like I’m meditating or something. Like I’m at peace and happiness is settling through me. It’s warm, sort of like a nice spring day after a long frost.”
“It’s really cool, Jordan. Whenever the little balls touch me, yes, it tickles, but it’s like a connection to you, you know? It’s like you’re sharing yourself. I like it.”
“I’m glad you feel safe, Abby.”
“I feel safe because I trust you.” The magic dissipated, and she smiled. “I know you got scared, and that’s why you lashed out. Hence why I forgive you. Though the cookies help.”
Jordan smiled and took another cookie.
“But, Jordan, you have to talk about it.”
“Talk about what?”
“What’s it like being a witch. You need to talk about it to come to terms with how you feel about it. Once you do that, maybe you’ll have control. Besides, I want to know how it affects you, how you feel, what you’d like to be able to do with it.”
Jordan froze. It was the same question Abby had asked before, only then it had made her blow her top off and lose control. This time she felt calm, and she also knew it was time to share herself.
“Being a witch is hereditary. My mother, grandmother, and so on were all witches, though our powers are all unique in strength and variety. My mother barely had any power, and my grandmother only had a bit more in terms of healing. They had thought the bloodline was being diluted. Then I was born. Apparently, I have the strongest powers in centuries. I could, with practice, do any kind of spell in any kind of discipline, something that is highly unheard of. At least that’s what my grandmother had said.” And why they’d fought. Her grandmother had wanted her to pursue her magic and be a true witch while Jordan had only wanted to be normal. That had fractured their relationship to the point that even thinking about doing magic made Jordan want cry. It wasn’t fair that now she was starting to believe in herself, her grandmother wasn’t here to share it. As a child, she’d used her magic more, but then had cut herself off from it when the taunting had started.
“That’s amazing, Jordan. But why didn’t you use it?” Abby said, breaking into her thoughts.
“Because when I was five, I made a flower bloom, and Stacey saw me. She ran directly to her perfectly normal mom and dad and tattled. They in turn told their friends and everyone who would listen that I was a danger to their children. Kids stopped playing with me and started to pick on me. The Coopers were the only ones who stood by me.” She held back the rage that usually came with that memory. The damned nosey bitch had ruined her life. “I quit using magic after that.” Damn, why had she let Stacey hold so much power over her? Why was she still allowing Stacey to do that?
“And that’s how everyone knew you were a witch.”
“Pretty much. I mean our family has always been oddballs. People have been spreading rumors for decades. But it wasn’t until then that my mistake confirmed it.”
“You were five, Jor. Cut yourself a little slack.”
“But if I hadn’t—”
“No, stop right there. You can’t live in the past. You can’t change it. But you can move on.”
Jordan closed her eyes. “I don’t know if I can.”
“You can if you ask for help. I mean I’m not a witch, but I’m a quick study. I can help you meditate, look through books, whatever. You need to learn control and, with more knowledge, that can happen. I’m a teacher, I know these things. I’ll do anything, Jor. Just let me know what I can do.”
Happiness and relief filled her. God, she’d almost lost this perfect woman as her best friend because she was a freaking idiot.
She pulled Abby into a hug and laughed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Don’t think about it. I’m here if you’re here.”
“You will figure out how to be a witch, Jordan. You’re strong and willing to gain control. I believe in you.”
Jordan smiled and hugged her friend closer.
“Crap! Is that the time?” Abby vaulted from the couch and ran to her room.
“What’s going on?” Jordan stood up and cleaned up their mess as Abby stripped down and pulled on a pair of slacks and a nice top.
“Sorry for stripping in front of you, but I have to go. I promised Justin I’d be at the school to help him get the rest of the sets ready for the Halloween play at the school.”
“If you’re doing that, why are you putting on nice clothes?”
“Because Justin is the principal?”
“Try again.”
Abby let out a sigh as she tried to do her hair. “Because Prescott will be there watching us to make sure it’s up to his standards. I hate that I even care what he thinks, but he controls the purse strings. I hate Holiday sometimes. It’s so backwards in the way it does things.” She rolled her eyes and put on mascara at the same time—talented.
Jordan’s stomach clenched at the reminder of Prescott but ignored it. “I’ll let myself out then. Good luck, hon.”
Abby gave a forced smile. “Thanks, I’m going to need it.”
Jordan got in her Mustang and found herself driving toward the other end of town where the old Marlow place stood. For some reason, she’d always felt drawn to the place, at least since she’d come back to Holiday. As the sun started to set, she parked in front of it. She only wanted to go inside to see if anything remained. She didn’t want Prescott to tear it down. This place was a landmark…even if people said it was haunted.
She smiled. Maybe tonight she’d see her ghost.
Jordan walked through the unlocked door and froze, her heart racing.
“Jordan…” Matt whispered.
She blinked as he stood in the foyer as the last rays of the sun went below the horizon. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she watched his body fade from vision.
Oh, God. Matt Cooper was the Old Marlow Ghost.
Oh, shit.
Chapter 8
Matt’s worst nightmare stood in front of him, her gaze never straying from him. Or rather, her gaze locked through him. Fucking shit. He hadn’t expected Jordan to be here tonight.
How was he supposed to deal with this? What should he say?
Fuck.
“Matt?” she whispered, her lower lip trembling.
Oh, shit, she couldn’t cry. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. Yeah, he, like most men, couldn’t handle women crying, but he definitely couldn’t handle the tears that were flooding Jordan’s eyes right now.
He took a deep breath—something really fucking odd to do when he was a ghost because everything was about fifty degrees cooler in this form—and nodded.
“Yeah, baby. It’s me.”
Subtle. Nice.
“You’re a…you’re…” She blinked again and looked a little unsteady on her feet. Fuck, he couldn’t touch her to help her.
“A ghost,” he finished for her. “I find it easier to just say it rather than beat around the bush. That doesn’t make it any less real.”
She lowered herself to the floor, her face a bit awestruck, her eyes wide, and her mouth open. “How…when?”
“I don’t know how, baby.” He held a hand up to her and traced her jaw about two inches away from her face.
“Cold…”
He swiped his hand back and cursed. “I’m sorry.”
She gulped and shook her head, visibly pulling herself together, though tears still filled her eyes. “You can’t touch me, can you?”
>
He gave a weak smile and shook his head. “No, I can’t.”
“But you’re touching the floor. How is that possible?”
“I can touch everything in this house. I can also walk through everything if I wanted to, but I have to think about it.”
“But what about outside the house?”
“I can’t go outside, Jor.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I go outside when I’m like this, it’s hard to come back from wherever the hell I go. So hard in fact, I might not come back. If I’m not here, then I can’t get back to my physical form.”
If possible, her eyes widened even more, and she took a shuddering breath. “Matt…” She choked back a sob then shook her head and took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head, the cool drafts of the house flowing through him and sending chills down his translucent body. “I couldn’t, Jor. I haven’t been able to tell anyone.”
“Your brothers?”
He tried to smile. “No, not even them.”
“But you tell each other everything. The Coopers are the closest family I know.”
“I can’t, Jor.”
She wiped her cheeks and nodded. “I understand… I think. I just wish you didn’t have to bear this alone.”
A slight weight lifted off his shoulders at the thought that she knew and wasn’t running. Someone else knew his secret and she was handling it, at least as well as could be expected.
Jordan stood up, walked to the living room, and sat on one of the couches covered with a tarp. Dust flew around her, and she coughed.
“Sorry about that. I haven’t been too much into cleaning.”
“I wouldn’t think so.” She straightened her shoulders and got that look she always had when she was trying to figure out a problem, namely, him. He walked toward her and sat next to her. Her eyes widened, but he didn’t touch her—couldn’t touch her. “Okay, so you said you don’t know how you ended up this way. Tell me what you remember. We can get to the bottom of this. I mean…you can’t be…de—” She choked off the last word, and Matt wanted to hold her with every ounce of his being.
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