by Kayn, Debra
"I'm yours." He deepened the kiss. "From the moment you walked into the house and made my life crazy, I had no choice…I want you."
He stroked, teased, and caressed her body until she was on fire. Her blood surged through her veins as she met him with a fervor she didn't recognize.
She needed to touch more of his body as well, and she found his hardness, feeling every delicious inch of him. He moaned, and the sexual prowess that came over her rivaled nothing else she'd ever experienced.
When Joan could wait no longer, she sat down, guiding him inside of her. The night faded away and they were two people loving each other. His lips took her mouth in a fierce cry. Each thrust took them higher and higher.
Joan's shudder of release pulsated through her body, and she cried out.
"Joan," he breathed deeply.
Exhausted, she stroked his hair back away from his face and stared down into his eyes. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
He opened his mouth, and she placed her finger over his lips. "Don't say anything. Just accept it. Believe it. I'm not asking for anything in return right now. You've given me the world tonight, and I wanted you to know how I'm feeling."
She held their time together with a vengeance that surprised her. She could no longer deny that her feelings were real and what was happening between them was one sided. Trace wanted her.
She knew he couldn't acknowledge her love yet. She understood him better than anyone did but for now, he had her in his arms where she wanted to be.
He rolled to his side, taking Joan with him and holding her close against him. She enjoyed his warmth in the cool night. Afraid to let go, in case he succumbed to doubts about them while he slept, she swore to stay up all night.
Hours later, the warm sun on Joan's skin woke her and she scrambled out of Trace's arms and pulled the blanket around her. She hadn't meant to fall asleep.
Trace woke up and stared at her. She returned his gaze, trying to read his thoughts. Afraid a new day would leave him questioning what happened between them.
"No regrets." She kissed his lips. "Please. It's a new day, but everything that happened between us is very real. Everything I said, I still mean with all my heart."
He nodded. "No regrets."
With his declaration, the world was hers. She glanced toward the house. "Do you think they're all sleeping or am I going to walk in there and one of them will throw me out of the house for sleeping with you while I’m on the job?"
"I wouldn't let them." He tugged the blanket around her. "Brody and Devon will already be out of the house doing chores at the stable. You take the blanket. I'll sit here for a few minutes —he glanced down at his naked body— and relax. Just make sure you go through the outer door to my wing."
"Thank you…for everything."
He caressed her cheek. "I'll meet you inside," he whispered.
Chapter Nineteen
An hour later, Joan strolled into the kitchen, not knowing what to expect from the others. She hesitated inside the archway, concerned over the raised voices.
"Someone needs to bring the situation in front of the elders, and that person should be you." Devon stood in front of Trace. "You've got the same experience, and they'll be more willing to listen to you."
"The hell I will. How many times did I stand in front of the council, wishing someone…anyone, would lock my father up? The only thing outside help brought me was an extra beating for embarrassing our people. It was never the concerned person's fault. It was mine. I was guilty for not hiding better." Trace sneered. "I won't be the one that causes Savannah any more harm. Period. There has to be another way to get her help."
"I agree. It's reached a point where we can't hope that something happens to change the situation. Our silence will only keep Savannah safe until we leave to come back to the ranch. Then she's all alone. That's not good enough." Brody turned around to the sink. "We're talking about a small child. A very vulnerable child."
Trace ran his hands through his hair. "God dammit, why can't her father die from his drinking like my old man?"
She hurried forward and stood beside Trace. "Did something else happen? Is Savannah okay?"
"She's okay." He pulled her tight against her side.
She gazed across the room at Devon. "She's really okay?"
Devon leaned against the counter. "She's fine. Her father didn't find her last night. I counted two other kids, teenagers, who snuck into the home when it became dark. She's not alone. The older kids will take care of her."
"Oh, God. Don't they have counseling for alcohol and drug abuse on the reservation? Can't someone make Savannah's father get help before anything worse happens?" She slipped her arm around Trace and laid her check against his chest.
"We've tried talking to the elders before. The council has no money to hire someone with experience to help our people. It's not on their list of priorities, despite alcohol and drug abuse rates climbing. Couple that with all of them refusing to bend at accepting help from white people, and we've hit a dead end." Brody shut off the faucet, dried his hands, and smooched Joan on the cheek as he passed by. "You're wonderful."
She raised her hand to her throat, taken back by Brody's show of affection. "Me? Why?"
"You perform miracles." Brody grinned, nodding his head toward Trace. "We're happy for you and Trace."
Joan realized she was hanging on Trace and pushed against him, but he only tightened his arms. "You told them?"
"They know how I feel." He brushed a wayward curl behind her ear. "That's all they need to know."
Joan's phone beeped before she could reply, and she pulled it out of her pocket. "Excuse me. I need to take this, it's important."
She hurried into the living room, and answered the call. "Katie? What's wrong?"
"Nothing…not really."
"You sound sad, did something happen between you and Aunt Sharon?" She sat down on the edge of the couch, prepared for the worse.
"She's complaining, all the time, and it's driving me crazy. She's nervous you won't follow through and bring me home, and she'll miss her trip with the other senior citizens she travels with." Katie sniffed. "Joanie…I want to come home. I hate it here. I miss you. I miss my friends, and I-I miss daddy. Why did everything have to change? I hate it."
"I know you do, Katie. I miss him too." She bowed her head. "I'm trying really hard to get enough money together, but I can't promise I'll be able to do it by the end of the month. I'm trying though. You have to believe me. You're my number one priority."
"I wish I could get a job and help. I've tried, and nobody wants to hire me." Katie lowered her voice. "Maybe if I come home, I could get a job at the bakery?"
"I doubt it. Bruce requires all his helpers to be over the age of eighteen. You still have six months until you're an adult, and you have school. That's the only thing you should concentrate on right now. I'll take care of everything. Okay? Hang in there a little bit longer." She breathed deeply. "Why don't you put Aunt Sharon on the phone, and I'll talk to her."
Katie sniffled. "She's not here. I called when she left to go to the store, so I could talk privately."
"Okay, but if you want me to handle her, let me know or have her call me." Joan pressed her fingers to her forehead. "I love you, Katie."
"Love you, too." Katie's voice trailed off. "Bye."
"Bye."
She buried her head in her hands. In another week, she'd be gone from Lakota ranch, jobless, carless, and her aunt would once again be upset that she didn't follow through on her promise to bring Katie home. What am I going to do?
"Joan?"
She jolted, not hearing Trace approach. "Here, let me move. You can sit down."
"No. Stay there." Trace sat on the coffee table facing her, keeping his cast out to the side of him. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Is your sister okay?"
She shook her head. "I haven't told you everything."
"Do you want to talk now?" he asked.
&
nbsp; "Katie's my baby sister. She's only seventeen and right now, she's living with our Aunt Sharon, my mom's sister. Aunt Sharon took temporary custody of Katie back when my dad passed away ten months ago, so I could finish school. I promised her it would only be for six months, nine at the most, but things didn't work out the way I'd planned. It's been more difficult than I imagined, and I thought I could swing getting a full time job by now. I didn't expect my car to blow up, leaving me without transportation to go job hunting." She closed her eyes for a moment. "I've disappointed her."
"Why can't she live with you now?" He collected her hands and held them in his much larger ones.
"The part time job I had delivering meals to the shut-ins while I was in college wasn't enough to support both of us with Dad's funeral bill and all the expenses that built up after he died. I knew if I got my nursing degree, I'd be able to afford so much more for Katie. I thought if we could sacrifice a few months of being apart, I could better our lives in the long run, but…" She blew out her breath. "It's not happening as fast as I thought it would, and now my car blew up and I'd let my insurance lapse…it seems like every hurdle I jump, another one pops up."
"Invite Katie here with you. I'll pay for her trip back, and you know we have plenty of room for another person." Trace lifted her hands and kissed her knuckles. "I don't know why you didn't tell me you had these worries before now. I would have helped you. Hell, even one of the guys would have gone and picked her up if it meant making you happy. You've worried all alone too long."
She shook her head. "Trace. I can't let you do that. I will only be here for another week, two at the most, and then I'm jobless. I plan to buy a used car with the money I get from taking care of you. It'll take me longer to get in a position to support us, but I'm not giving up. I have to do this to prove to myself that I can do the right thing, that I'm strong enough."
He kissed her. She groaned and broke away. "Really, I appreciate your offer…but I can't. I need to figure this out for myself."
"Okay. I understand why you want to do it yourself, and I know you can. You're one of the most determined people I've ever met." He kissed her once more and stood. "The offer is open if you change your mind. There's no harm about accepting help."
"Thank you," she said.
"I'll be in the office. I need to work on an order coming up and check in with Joe. He's keeping an eye on Savannah for me. Will you be okay for a few hours by yourself?"
"Of course. I think I'll take a walk and try to sort through what I need to do." She rubbed underneath her eyes. "Oh, can I borrow your computer later? I want to check out the job board at the county hospital."
"Sure. I'll be done shortly. You can share lunch with me, and then have the office to yourself afterward." He pulled her up in front of him and whispered in her ear. "Thank you for last night."
"It wasn't a gift, Trace," she whispered. "It also won't be the last time we have sex."
"It's hard to believe…" He shook the rest of his words away and his gaze softened before limping out of the room.
She flopped back down on the couch. What a crazy, but wonderful mess.
For once, things were looking up. Trace gave her a new hope that she'd get her life straightened out and gain full time employment, and then she'd solve all her problems. She frowned. Not all of them.
Soon she'd have to leave Lakota ranch. What would happen to her and Trace when her job with him was over? She'd miss living here with him, and the other guys.
Chapter Twenty
A trailer loaded ten hay bales high and six deep blocked the pathway into the stables. Joan sneezed. The scent of dry, dusty grass tickled her nose, but the fresh air cleared her head.
She strolled along the side of the tractor, and stepped into the interior of the barn. Not seeing Devon or Brody, she peeked inside the stalls, admiring the beautiful horses.
Her earlier introduction with horses from Brody gave her more confidence that the large animals were gentle, respectful. The slight tang of horse manure grew stronger the further she walked down the aisle. The Lakota Ranch stables were larger, cleaner, and more modern than the stables at the reservation.
A clamoring at the end of the barn drew her attention. Thinking one of the guys were making repairs, she hurried down to see if she could help. She might not be a cowgirl, but she wasn't afraid of getting dirty. Standing on her tiptoes, she hooked her hands to the top of the door and pulled herself up to look inside.
A white mottled horse charged the door. She screamed as pain from the force of the horse's attack ricocheted up her arms. She fell back, landing on her butt.
"Joan!" Brody ran out of nowhere, and kneeled down on the ground beside her. "Are you all right?"
She managed to nod. "I-I think so."
Brody pulled her to her feet and led her away from the stall. She glanced behind her at the horse. The animal's eyes were drawn back and spittle sprayed from his nose in a fierce show of anger. She shuddered. The horse would've killed her if the door was open.
"I take back my opinion of liking horses." Joan stepped out into the sunshine behind the stable. "Don't tell me you ride that horse. I'll never believe it."
"Not that one." Brody removed his hat and wiped his arm across his forehead. "You're free to come out to the stables whenever you want, but please don't go by Thunderbolt's stall when you're all alone. I don't trust a wooden door to keep him away from you. Trace should never have kept him on the ranch."
"That's the horse that broke Trace's leg? Thunderbolt?" Joan covered her mouth. "Oh, my God."
What was he thinking? He was lucky to be alive. One wrong kick or stomp and Trace's life would be all over.
"Come on, you can watch Devon work with a real beauty. He's about ready to get on her back for the first time." Brody led the way toward the round pen. "The horse he's training will stay at the ranch, and we'll use her as a brood mare. She's still young, and her lines are superb."
Joan sidestepped a pile of manure. "What's her name?"
"Mako Woblu."
"What's that mean?" Joan glanced at Brody.
"Dusty." Brody grinned. "When we caught her, she was rolling in the mud. Wild horses often roll in a wet spot on the prairie, coating themselves with mud to keep the black flies from biting them and making their lives miserable. By the time we got Mako Woblu home, all of us had enough dust on us from wrangling him. Dusty looked almost clean but we were covered with dirt. Hence the name of Dusty."
A brown horse with four white feet and a line of white down her nose ran around the perimeter of the fence. Devon stood in the middle, motionless, holding a bridle. She joined Brody at the fence and leaned against the metal rungs.
Joan smiled. "Dusty is gorgeous."
"Yep." Brody hooked his arms over the railing.
"What's Devon doing?" she whispered.
"He's waiting for the right time to approach the horse. Dusty's scared of what Devon's holding in his hand. He's been working in the pen every day for the last week, letting her get used to him. This is only the second time he's carried something inside the fencing and the horse is checking him out." Brody pointed. "Watch her ears. See how the tips point back toward her tail? When her ears go forward, it means she's accepted the bridle he's holding. That's when Devon will approach the horse. Dusty's coming along fast, and should give him no problems."
Dusty did exactly what Brody explained she'd do, and Devon stepped forward. Joan held her breath. For how big Devon stood, he appeared small compared to the size of the horse.
Devon came close enough to Joan and Brody; she could hear Devon speaking to the horse in his native tongue. A beautiful, soothing, melody, the words reminded her of when he sung with the other men in the music room.
"What's he saying?" She glanced at Brody.
"Nothing special. He's telling the horse he will not hurt her, and how beautiful she is…he's romancing her." Brody grinned. "It's what all women want to hear."
"It's lovely, no matter what it al
l means." She watched for a few more minutes. "Why doesn't Devon have a girlfriend? I bet he could sweet talk any woman with those words."
Brody shrugged. "I guess nobody has captured his heart. Ranch life isn't suited for everyone, and it'd take someone special to fall in love with a guy who will want to continuing living here with the rest of us. The Lakota women are hesitant to move away from the only home they know and where their relatives live. Other women, well…it would take a special person to understand why we live the way we do, and still have tight ties to the Lakota territory. I think you're special, because you can understand what drives each one of us and you accept us. Not many women could, or want to open themselves up the way you have with us."
She curled her lip. "Then those women are stupid. You all have made a home, a family, that many people would be content to be a part of."
Brody turned and studied her. "Including you?"
She'd be lying if she never thought of that possibility, but her and Trace hadn't had time to discuss what was going on between them. For all she knew, he wanted to enjoy her while she finished her job. She had no idea if his plans for the future would include her or if he wanted to see her when she left. If he asked, she was all for continuing their relationship and couldn't think of not having him in her life.
"Yes, even me." She turned back to watching Devon and the horse. "But, I don't know what is going to happen. Trace is a wonderful man."
"You've fallen in love with him…"
She nodded and sighed. "Yes, but you're also right when you say I come from a different world than Trace. In his case, I don't know…I don't know what tomorrow will bring."
The conversation dropped off, and Joan concentrated on what Devon was doing. He'd inserted the bit into the horse's mouth and led the mare around in a circle. She imagined Trace working with Thunderbolt the same way, and shivered. He had to realize how dangerous it would be to get back in the pen with the horse that already broke his leg. She didn't want him to suffer another injury, or worse.