by Pinki Parks
I woke up glistening with droplets of sweat sliding effortlessly between my breasts. It was a cold reminder there was nobody to share my bed. One-night stands held no appeal. They left me feeling cold and walking in a haze after the deed was done.
I preferred sleeping in the nude. Clothing of any kind including lingerie always made me feel trapped somehow. It was more freeing and less cumbersome to stretch out with nothing separating me from the sheets. Chase was someone who I would have loved to get to know intimately. I wanted the smell of him to permeate into the sheets.
I had a weakness for men’s shirts still hanging onto the essence of the man. Any boyfriend who I had been with was well aware of my penchant for grabbing one of their shirts from off their back. It surrounded me in warmth and comfort. It made me feel safe when they weren’t around.
The incessant ringing of my cell phone had me jumping out of my skin. It was barely 6:00 AM. I had no idea who would have the unmitigated gall to call me at this hour. I saw the caller ID and smiled knowingly. I wasn’t at all surprised to see Henry’s phone number on display.
I pressed the speaker portion of my phone giving me the opportunity to do two things at one time.
“So, tell me. Do we have something to gossip about at work today? I want to know all the details. I didn’t call until I was reasonably certain he wasn’t going to be there with you.” We had never shied away from talking about our experiences.
“Don’t you think if there was something to tell, I would’ve called you right after he left? I will say it was better than some of my other dismal encounters. We talked at length and there was no need for games. He didn’t try to tell me anything to get into my pants.” I tore through my closet looking for something to grab his attention from the moment he saw me.
“I think you had the elusive non-sexual encounter. It’s something I’ve heard about, but I have never experienced it.” The bed was custom made to my specifications with the finest craftsmanship money could buy. The four-poster bed was a throwback to my childhood.
I’d never had the chance to break it in and was looking forward to the day when someone made me scream their name in the throes of passion. It was a recent acquisition. The man responsible for the sculpted masterpiece was indeed not a man at all. Tiffany was a Jill of all trades and a master of none who lived down the street.
“Would you like to elaborate on that statement? I might be a little out of touch with the times to know what you’re talking about.” I found a black skirt with a zipper in the back tight enough to hug my curves in all the right places.
“It’s almost better than doing something regrettable to put a smile on your face. It’s when you make a connection spiritually and emotionally. It starts as a friendship and works up to something where the only thing left is a marathon of sex. It apparently happens suddenly and without any warning.” It did sound familiar and we had bonded in a way that most people could never hope to achieve.
My bedroom looked like a cyclone had gone through it. Clothes were strewn everywhere in all directions. I wasn’t much for doing daily chores. If things got bad enough, then I would call Molly Maid.
“I will admit I did want to feel his lips, but I stopped things before they could go too far. You may not agree with it, but you do understand where I’m coming from.” I had no interest in becoming a home wrecker but had no problem being a shoulder to lean on.
“Commitment is for fools who don’t understand variety is the spice of life. Some learn a little late in life and others subject themselves to the same person for years in misery. There are those lucky enough to be with the person they are meant to be with. It doesn’t happen often in this day and age. Have you thought about what you are going to do with this newfound knowledge on a man who is the strong silent type?” I knew he was baiting me. Henry had this instinct to push me into the arms of the bad boy.
“I’m not even going to justify that with an answer. We both know I’m not the kind of woman to seduce. I wouldn’t even know how to make the first move. I don’t know if he’s happily married, but those vows are sacred in my eyes. I might become his confidant and give him pointers to make his marriage work.” I was looking at the mattress and bringing to life in my mind’s eye the two of us fucking like bunnies.
“I’ve heard through the Grapevine he is taking the trainees on wilderness survival training for a few days. It will give you time to come to your senses. Don’t walk away without testing the waters. You will be kicking yourself. Come to think of it, I have that time to convince you with whispered words of encouragement.” Henry had been known to break down the walls of my resistance when he put his mind to it.
There were matching mahogany night tables with a medley of different herbal remedies littering the top. Those were my secret weapons. There were no dangerous chemicals. Nothing but what you would find in nature.
“I wouldn’t even bother and you will be barking up the wrong tree. I don’t mind being there for him in spirit, but his body will never grace my bed.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince.
“I do believe you might be protesting a little bit too much. He is a delicious piece of candy that will melt in your mouth and not in your hand. I won’t let you turn down what could be the best thing in your life.” He made things complicated, but life was never boring when he was pulling the strings of his favorite puppet.
“There are times I wonder why we are friends. You have this funny way of getting me to walk outside of my comfort zone. Being with Chase would be playing with a very intense fire, but I won’t be the only one to burn.” I felt guilty for even thinking about him when a woman was waiting at home for him.
“You can’t say you don’t want to leave your mark on him.” I saw the shirt in the closet and I grabbed it without thinking.
I placed the material up against my face inhaling the captured essence of a man no longer walking the planet. This was the last piece of him. I was holding onto it like grim death.
The snow last night was gone by morning with temperatures warm enough to leave my jacket at home. I was tempted to run the few blocks.
The idea of being with Chase had me wanting to turn my body into a temple. I was already in good shape, but I could certainly make the effort to be a little more conscious of what I put in my body. I decided to cut out chocolate and sugars replacing them for the natural kind you would find in fresh fruit.
My pantry was going to be ransacked once I had enough time to go through those things with ingredients I couldn’t even pronounce.
I put on a white and black striped blouse with not even the hint of impropriety.
There seemed no point to wield a red cape to incite the bull when the bull wasn’t even going to be there. I had a few days to bring my libido down to a manageable level. I wasn’t going to throw myself at any available man, but I was open to having my perceptions challenged. Those who made the mistake of getting too close would find my knee making a connection with their family jewels. I was no stranger to using my own form of persuasion to get my point across.
“I don’t want you to give up hope. Things happen when you least expect them. Always keep your eyes open for those possibilities which you shouldn’t let slip through your fingers.” I had seen him walk down the lonely road of heartbreak a few too many times.
“Do I really have to be the one to remind you about Kevin? I know I promised never to bring his name up again, but you brought this on yourself. I know your heart is in the right place, but I’m not ready to get involved seriously with anyone.” I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of his hands wrapped around me. It brought to mind what other things Chase could do with a body made for sin.
“For your information, Kevin and I are together again. I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it. He’s always been the one who got away. I have no choice but to give him another chance.” This was the third time and nothing I was going to say was going to change his mind.
It was better to shut my mouth and let things play out naturally. It was always the same cycle where he thought he could change Kevin. They were attracted to each other like two very powerful magnets. Their star would burn brightly for a short time before fizzling out. It usually meant Kevin was caught with his pants down. The most hurtful thing of all was that he was usually caught with a woman.
“I want things to work out for you, but I fear you are doomed to make the same mistake over and over again.” I was holding the shirt with trembling hands and then I put it back in the closet where it belonged.
I had seen him wear it and I made sure to take it from his closet before it could be donated to a worthy cause. His last words were tucked under my bed in a shoe box.
“I can’t say you’re wrong, but I’m hoping this time will be different. I suggest you talk to Chase. You can’t know what he’s thinking without asking a few questions.” I had to make some concessions for Henry’s behavior. He had a tendency to put his foot in his mouth.
“I will certainly give it some thought, but there are a lot of fish in the ocean. I have a lot to offer to the right man. I won’t compromise. I want the total package with sensitivity and strength.” I snatched my briefcase from the front door on my way down the stairs.
My Charger was waiting in the driveway ready to cause other drivers to gape with envy in their eyes.
Chapter Six
Chase
It was a grueling few days in the wilderness. I found myself looking around feeling like somebody was watching me waiting for the right time to strike. It could’ve been my overactive imagination, but I had learned to follow those instincts honed into a razor’s edge.
There were a few washouts, but also some surprising candidates rising to the challenge. I had thought I had seen it all, but these few made me see things differently. I’d given them one knife a piece and dropped them into the middle of nowhere. They had a compass and their wits. Four cried Uncle on the very first night. There were two more unprepared for the elements but giving up wasn’t part of their vocabulary. Their bodies shut down, but they deserved a second shot to redeem themselves. They would return from a hospital stay well rested and ready to tackle the training I had in store for them.
I was home on solid ground and the only person I could think about was Gail. Her eyes followed me from my waking thoughts into my dreams.
I got off the plane and went directly to the bar. I had a couple of beers while watching sports net with the bartender absentmindedly wiping down the bar and stocking the shelves.
I’d gotten a few disturbing text messages over the last few days with the image of the same scorpion lying upside down in the snow. I thought getting back to basics would make it easier to forget. Whoever was mocking me made sure I was never going to forget Operation Scorpion. I couldn’t even tell my best friend in the world without raising the alarms. The details were classified. Mason didn’t have the right type of clearance.
I gave the bartender a $20.00 tip and I felt bad for keeping him open after he was ready to close. I walked down to the parking structure where it was like a ghost town. It was a good thing I was good with directions and knew exactly where I had parked.
I found my Jeep Wrangler in matte black sitting in long-term parking. I was going back home, but my hands had other ideas. I brought up her file and found her address being punched into my GPS. This was the hundredth time I had gone through her file.
I was driving aimlessly through the city at midnight when the streets were barely recognizable. Cars lined the side of the roads sitting dormant while their owners slept comfortably in their beds.
My jeep was one of the few on the road and the streets had become too slippery to hazard taking my bike. The four-wheel drive easily navigated the slick surface. I was feeling the effects of the last few beers.
I rolled to a stop at the curb and I was surprised to see her light on. A man wearing a tweed coat with elbow patches emerged from the doorway. I was making too much out of it. There was probably an innocent explanation to explain his presence. I was about to get out, but then she came into view wearing only a man’s shirt. It stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider what I was going to do next.
They shared an embrace, but their lips never touched. It was the only thing preventing me from racing across the street and pummeling this guy into the ground. I didn’t have any designs on her. We hadn’t made any promises. My reaction was somewhat startling and scary at the same time.
A taxi pulled up within minutes of his departure and they separated with their fingers touching until he was safely in the cab. It wasn’t Henry. At this hour the only reason she would have visitors would be for physical comfort. I was about to drive away, but my curiosity held me by the throat until I couldn’t breathe.
I ran across the street and onto her stairs almost stumbling and breaking my neck on the ice that had accumulated. I was using the liquor to give me the courage to knock on her door. The light over the door was barely extinguished before it went back on.
“Stephen, I told you I would give you a call in the…Chase…what are you doing here at this hour?” She was holding the shirt in a defensive posture to stop me from seeing even one inch of exposed skin. She didn’t take into consideration her long and luscious legs.
“I know I shouldn’t ask, but who the hell is Stephen and why is he coming out of your house at midnight?” I wasn’t going to take her cheating on me even though we hadn’t done anything to warrant being jealous.
“I don’t want you to catch the death of cold. This is a night not fit for man or beast. Come in and take your coat off. I have some hot water on the stove. Can I offer you some tea or coffee?” I heard the freezing rain and the roads became impassable within seconds of the downpour.
“Don’t change the subject.” I flung my jacket over the partition separating the doorway from the living room.
“I don’t know why it matters to you. It’s not like we’re ever going to be together. And it’s not like we are going to. You’re married.” I went into the kitchen and sat at a black marble island in the middle. I had a bird’s eye view of her reaching for something in the top cupboard.
The way the shirt came up a few inches had me seeing the faint outline of her golden globes. I wanted nothing more than to tear the shirt off her body. My fingers were itching to touch her porcelain skin and to make her tremble to my touch.
“My wife died. I wear this ring because…He’s not right for you and you can do a whole lot better. I feel I need to watch out over you.” I’d found out perusing her file that she was the one that Colby was talking about with love in his eyes.
Colby was always bragging about his accomplishments. He never did mention her name. It was only when he was under the influence that he told us she was his sister. They were twins. I was his best friend and yet I didn’t know much about his personal life.
He took me aside and made me promise to take care of his sister if anything happened to him. Thinking nothing of it, I made my assurances not realizing a few months later my words would come back to haunt me.
“Chase, I don’t need a man to take care of me. I’ve been doing that on my own for as long as I can remember. I want you to sit there and tell me what this is about. It’s late and your accusations are getting on my last nerve.” Her hair was in disarray like she had just been physically incapacitated in the throes of ecstasy.
“I’m sure you heard about my training program. I just got back and the first person I wanted to see was you.” It was a bit of a shock to learn of her connection to Colby.
The file was very illuminating and had me shaking my head in disbelief at how small the world really was. I made myself a promise. I was going to tell her the truth. I had neglected my duties to get in touch with her when he died. I still wore the scar where the bullet tore through my chest. I jumped in front to save Colby, but it was for nothing. The bullet had somehow changed trajecto
ry by hitting my rib cage.
I fell on top of him to shield him from the bullets flying in all directions. He was already dead before he hit the ground. I’d come home carrying the weight of his death on my shoulders. I didn’t want to be reminded of my shortcomings. It was the reason I didn’t get in touch with Gail. I didn’t even know her name or her connection to Colby until two days ago.
He had left me a letter in his belongings. It mocked me with his death following me like a black cloud. I finally had the courage to open it during the one-year anniversary of his death. It was enough to bring a tear to my eye.
“That’s sweet but doesn’t explain the reason for your impromptu visit. This could have waited until morning.” She placed a coffee cup in front of me with the insignia of a gold scorpion etched in the black glass. It was just another reason not to get too close.
“I don’t really have a good explanation.” She reached across and grabbed me by the collar until her crimson lips were right there for the taking.
“I’m calling bullshit and I don’t use that term loosely. I know you have feelings for me, but we need to remain strong. Coming here was wrong. Go home before you make a mistake.” I could only stare at her transfixed by her beauty and the way the tip of her tongue circled the oval shape of her mouth.
“I know being here is unconscionable, but I feel like a moth drawn to your flame.” She still had me in her grip and she wasn’t letting go.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We can’t resist when we are in close proximity to each other. Distance will help us avoid making things messy.” She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me from the stool.
I abruptly stopped short and pinned her up against the stainless-steel fridge. She struggled in vain with no real conviction.
“I can’t see you with another man. It drives me crazy thinking about someone else touching you.” One of her buttons had come undone.