by Pinki Parks
Ava’s teeth sank into her bottom lip, and she bit out, “Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
Ava’s long fingers stretched out in front of her, and she scowled at the chocolatey crumbs that clung to her pale skin. I’m terrified of going home because I know I’ll start thinking about how I’ll be alone. I don’t trust myself not to call him. I don’t trust myself to not make a complete idiot out of myself because I can’t be stronger. Ava slid her desk drawer open and grabbed a napkin off of a small stack. She dabbed at her lips and wiped her mouth of any evidence of the muffin.
Ava sighed and said, “I’m as sure as I can be.”
Valeria nodded and said, “Ava, do you-”
“Do you want to grab a drink later?” Ava asked. She crumpled her fingers around the stained napkin and tossed it into the trash bin beside her. Valeria looked around her with wide eyes and stabbed her index finger into her bony chest. “You mean with me? You want to get a drink with me?”
Ava rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t say it like that. It’s not…weird for a couple of colleagues to get a drink after work.”
Redness flooded Valeria’s cheeks, and she held her hands out in front of her. “I-I don’t think it’s weird, in fact, I’m flattered, how many people my age can say that Ava Lawrence wanted to have dinner with them?!”
Ava grinned and some of the embarrassment that she’d felt a moment before ebbed away. Her shoulders relaxed, and she wiggled the mouse in front of her computer screen. “Great. My treat.”
Valeria’s eyes darted between Ava and then the ceiling, as if she had to double check with the powers that be to make sure that this was happening. “O-okay. Thank you, Ava.”
Ava nodded as her fingers flew across the keyboard. Her eyes were already absorbed in the finer details of the email that stretched out in front of her on the screen. Valeria tip-toed towards the door, gently opened it, and stepped outside. When the lock clicked into place, Ava raised her head towards the door and released the breath that she’d been holding. Her hands fell from her keyboard, and she raked her fingers through her hair. A long, fine strand of hair clung to her fingers, and she winced.
A night out might be just what I need. Even if it’s with my employee. She dragged her mind away from the feeling that she hoped to avoid by going straight home and climbing into bed. Ava sucked in a breath and focused on the sound of her fingers clicking against the keyboard.
Chapter 16
Ava eased into the seat across from Valeria and set her hands-on top of the table. Underneath the tabletop, her right leg jiggled against the floor, the heel of her shoe scraped against the wood.
Valeria plucked the menu off of the table and spread it out onto the table. She grinned and said, “I can’t believe that I’m eating here. I never thought that I would eat in a place like this before I was thirty.”
Ava grinned and a feeling of relief swept through her body. “It’s one of the best places I’ve ever eaten.” She turned her head and said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.” Ava hadn’t been back to this restaurant in almost seven years. A man that she was dating at the time brought her here, and he rented out a section of the restaurant. That dinner had been just as nerve wracking as her impromptu date with Valeria, the cheap dress that she wore and the pieces of hair that refused to stay in place made her wonder if she was good enough to step foot in a place like this.
Valeria didn’t radiate any of the feelings that Ava had when she first came here. Her excitement was obvious, she hungrily scanned the list of entrees, each one beginning at no less than $150 per plate.
If I could be as easy going as her, I’d probably be in just as good of a mood. Ava smiled to herself. But, that’s what alcohol is for. She raised her arm and said, “Excuse me? Can we have a bottle of wine for the table?”
Valeria’s eyes flecked up towards hers, they were as round as saucers as she said, “You’ve been so nice, you don’t have to treat me to dinner too.”
Ava waved her hand towards Valeria as the waiter, a tall, gangly twenty-something, rushed back with a bottle of wine and an ice bucket. He cleared his throat and said, “This bottle is a hit with all of our diners,” he paused, the sound of forks scraping against plates and glasses clinking together filled the space for him, “it’s a bold red, imported from our vineyards in Italy.”
Ava wore a small smile as she watched the waiter pour wine into Valeria’s wine glass, then hers. She nodded towards him and wrapped her fingers around the stem of her glass. “It’s not a real dinner without wine.” She extended her hand towards Valeria and Valeria raised her eyebrows as she leaned forward and clinked her glass against Ava’s.
They placed their orders, Ava opted for a small steak and avocado salad, Valeria ordered the oyster special. Ava reached forward and filled her wine glass, she smiled and said, “Valeria, do you have a chance to drink when you’re not at work?”
Valeria scoffed, “Yeah, but it’s hardly anything like this,” she mimicked Ava’s movements and took a long sip of wine, she puckered her lips as she set it back onto the table. “I usually drink shots with my friends, especially if it’s a special occasion.”
Ava grinned and drained the rest of her glass. Valeria’s gaze followed her as she her glass, until the wine stopped just three inches before the brim. “My father thought it was a sin to not know good wine,” she cupped her lips against the rim of her wine glass and tilted her head back. A rush of sweet, crisp wine flooded her tongue. Her tongue swept across her bottom lip, and she used her index finger and thumb to place the glass back in its place.
“Once my sister and I were a little older, he’d let us taste it. Not enough to be a big deal, he was a good Dad, but enough for us to get acquainted with the flavor. His reasoning is that most business deals either happen over a glass of wine or a cup of coffee,”
Valeria nodded and reached for her wine, she drew her shoulders together, as if to cement the fact that she felt too small for the space, with all of its clinking glasses and snippets of conversation about things like savings accounts and musicals that would have cost her three months’ rent to attend.
“And that I better know a lot about both if I wanted to get anywhere,” Ava tilted her glass towards Valeria and said, “So, consider this your first lesson, I guess. Isn’t that what you said you wanted from working with me? To learn?”
Valeria chuckled and sat back against her chair as the waiter placed their entrees in front of them. She scooped her fork out of the wrapped silverware set beside her and set to work on her oysters. “I do want to learn. I never thought that I would have an opportunity like this.” She raised her eyes towards Ava and asked, “Ava? Can I ask you something?”
The steak knife that Ava clutched in between her fingers clattered against the plate. Ava wore a sheepish smile as she collected it from the edge of the plate and said, “Ask me anything!”
Valeria nodded and took a sip of wine, she smiled and said, “Do you ever wish that you had gotten married?” She held her hands out in front of her and said, “Not that you don’t have an amazing life, I’m sure a man might even be holding you back-”
“I-I waited too long,” Ava interjected. “Sometimes I think that if I’d been scouting for a husband while I worked to get where I am, my life would be really different.” She stretched her lips into a thin smile and said, “It’s really difficult to meet people now.” She looked across the table at her assistant and knew deep down, she could have easily had dinner with Tristan here. Why didn’t you? She thought.
Valeria chuckled and Ava narrowed her eyes as she reached for her wine glass. She kept her glass glued to the table as her fingers danced around the stem. Ava tilted her head to the side and said, “What’s so funny?”
Valeria shook her head and said, “I can’t imagine being as beautiful and successful as you are and not being able to find a guy.” Valeria smiled, a teasing light rested behind her eyes. “You must be
pretty picky.”
Ava’s eyes fell to the thick, bloody pieces of steak that rested on her plate. “I don’t know, honestly. I think I’m too practical.” She remembered the way that Tristan had been so eager to take the next step, enthused about inviting her to Sunday dinner with his parents. Men twice his age shied away from that level of commitment. How could Tristan be ready for a real relationship with her? Had he even had a chance to have a relationship and sabotage it the way that you do when you’re young?
An unsettling feeling settled into Ava’s chest. The corners of her lips tugged downward as she slid her knife through her perfectly cooked steak and rolled a piece around in her mouth. Do you really even have to be young to be the one sabotaging everything? Ava’s mind had drifted to all the conversations that she’d had with Tristan after a rough, sweaty romp in her bed, the way that he carefully considered everything before he spoke, the way that he clicked with her humor in a way that men her age had mostly taken little interest in.
Valeria frowned and said, “Hey? I didn’t upset you, did I?”
Ava flashed a reassuring smile at Valeria and said, “No, not at all.” She lifted her wine glass to her lips and sat back in her seat. She set it down beside her and said, “Are you in the mood for dessert? They have the best cheesecake in town.”
***
Valeria’s bony elbows slammed into the tabletop as she leaned forward and took another sip of wine. Over the past hour, the waiter had dropped off another bottle and neatly tucked the bill beside Ava’s plate. Ava’s chest was warm as the pleasant heat of drunkenness spread throughout her body.
Ava eyed the last bit of wine in her glass before turning to Valeria. Valeria hadn’t mentioned that she was a lightweight, not only with wine but with most alcohol. Ava smiled as she smashed the cork into the bottle of wine. She pushed it across the table and said, “Here, you’ll have a decent bottle of wine for the next week or so.”
Valeria’s eyelids fluttered, and she said, “Are you sure? It costs soooo much money…”
Ava chuckled and said, “I’m positive,” her phone chirped from within her purse. She held up one finger towards Valeria and pawed her way through loose makeup and sticky notes with dates haphazardly scribbled on them. The screen lit up with a message from Eric: I’m outside.
“Eric is outside, he’s going to take you home.”
Valeria slapped her palm onto the table and said, “But what about you?”
Ava’s shoulders rose and fell, and she replied, “He can come back for me. I’ll be fine. I’ll walk you outside.” Ava rose to her feet and extended her hand towards Valeria. Valeria wore an embarrassed smile as she interlaced her fingers with Ava’s and wrapped her fingers around the neck of the wine bottle with her free hand. Ava’s eyes were glued to the front doors, she ignored the perplexed stares of the other diners who tried to put the pieces of their story together.
Ava waved to Eric as they stepped out into the cold, the bitter wind that nipped at her expose calves and ankles was sobering. She opened the door, and Valeria slid inside. Her lips were parted as she tucked the wine bottle against her bag. “Thank you, Ava!”
Eric shared a curious glance with Ava and she grinned. “You’re welcome, Valeria. Take good care of her, Eric.”
“I will.”
Ava tapped the top of the car, and Eric pushed the nose of the car into traffic. A satisfied sigh slid past her lips. See? Successfully avoided thinking about what happened today. She stretched her arms over her head and reached into her purse. Ava withdrew her phone and dragged her fingers across the screen. Now I just need to get home. It’s too cold to walk. The blue and white loading symbol of the car service app flashed across her screen, she tapped her palm against the side of her phone and one by one, the details of her last trip were populated on the screen.
“4320 Jameson Towers,” she mumbled. Ava’s eyes snapped up to the sound of footsteps, a well-dressed woman with a man attached to her was moving her way. If she had to guess, Ava would assume that she was at least three years older than her. The woman flashed a smile in her direction and looped arms with the man beside her.
Ava’s heart fell into her belly, and she immediately cursed herself for it. Tristan’s address. Her finger hovered over the car symbol, and she frowned. Tristan probably took a full class load and worked afterwards. She flicked her wrist towards her and the hour hand hovered above the 9. Would he even be at home? Or just now climbing into bed? Ava filled her lungs with air and smashed her thumb against the car symbol.
“Ah!” A horn blared from the speakers in her phone, and then in front of her. She raised her head and a modest, slim, black sedan sat in front of her. She blinked and wiggled her fingers towards the driver.
The dark sheet of glass that separated Ava and the drive slowly slid down, and a balding man stuck his head out of the window. “Ava Lawrence?”
She nodded dumbly, and he jerked his finger towards the back of the car. “Hop in, I'm your ride.”
Ava pulled her purse close to her and slid into the backseat. Her face was hit with a burst of warm air, and the smell of vanilla and cinnamon filled her nostrils. Her legs slid across plush leather seats, and she pressed her palm into the lining on the back of the seat in front of her. This is what I’ve been sending people? It’s crazy that this doesn’t cost more.
“Hey,” the driver’s voice was sharp as he veered into traffic. His eyes connected with hers through the rear-view mirror, and he said, “Are you the Ava Lawrence?”
Ava swept a few stray pieces of hair away from her cheeks and said, “Um, I might be? Are you interested in commercial real estate?”
Ava yelped as the driver chuckled and smacked his hand against the wheel. “Ha! I knew it! I saw you in a business magazine that I read at my dentist’s office. Isn’t a car service like this kind of low class for you?”
“Gotta stay humble somehow,” Ava quipped.
She and the driver shared a laugh, and they shared a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride. He didn’t speak until the tires of the sedan rolled up outside of the apartment building that Tristan lived in. Ava scanned the building from top to bottom, and mumbled, “Shit.” Which one is it?
The driver twisted his head around and said, “Are you sure this is where you wanted to go? It’s a kind of rough part of town. And you’re…”
“I’m not that out of touch,” she insisted. Her heart thudded in her chest, and she said, “I’m fine. Thank you for the ride.” Ava reached into her purse and found a loose bill, she slipped it towards the driver and stepped out into the cold.
There was a short, stone staircase that connected the building to the sidewalk. She moved towards the stairs and pulled her phone out of her pocket, her legs rattled against each other from the cold. Maybe he’ll be home soon.
She swept her hands underneath her coat and eased onto the stairs, she wrapped her arms around herself. Ava leaned forward and peered down the sidewalk to the right of her, and then to the left.
It was a full, excruciatingly cold ten minutes later when she heard sounds of people talking approaching her. Ava blinked and pushed her hands against the cold cement of the staircase. She slid off of the staircase and peered down the sidewalk.
Tristan was moving towards her; one hand was tucked inside of the pocket of his pea coat. The other hand was interlaced with a girl’s.
Ava cupped her hand over her mouth and jerked her head to the left of her. I wonder if he’ll see me if I run around the block and call myself a car. She tossed another glance over her shoulder, and ran her eyes over the long, blonde hair that fell past the girl’s shoulders and the soft pink lipstick that she wore. Her petite frame was dressed just as well as Tristan’s, she was swaddled in an expensive coat that made her look mature.
Ava lifted her legs higher than she had to do in years, the last time she ran down the street and away from anything was in her late teens, when her neighbors had purchased a feisty
new dog. Her heels clicked against the pavement and a burst of cold air split her chest in half. She sucked in a gust of chilly air as her feet came to a stop in front of the buildings around the corner.
Her hand rooted around in her pocket for her phone, her bright red fingertips fumbled with the app as she scanned the area for drivers. Ava forced away the feeling of embarrassment that threatened to drown her and filled her mind with images of sliding into her tub until the water sat just beneath her eyes. Tonight, could be washed away, as if she never did it.
A humorless chuckle slid past her lips as an older, unwashed car from the app pulled up in front of her. I should have stayed in Hawaii.
Chapter 17
Ava rolled her wrists, then her ankles. She stretched her arms over her head and watched as the woman in the mirror did the same. Her silk robe was tied tight against her skin, and her hair sat in a loose, unruly pile on top of her head. Ava inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth.
She braced herself against the counter and leaned towards the mirror. “Okay, personal days are for development, and goal setting.” Ava forced her full lips into an unconvincing smile. When she called the office to let Valeria know that she wasn’t coming in for a couple of days, and that she needed the day to herself, a part of her had believed that she was going to use the next two days for personal development. There was a strong possibility that she’d put on the brand-new running shoes that had been sitting by the front door for months, and that she’d crack open the cookbooks that her mother sent a few weeks ago so that she could break her takeout habit.
However, she knew it was more likely that she would spend all day either working from home or trying to find a new hobby to keep her from focusing on the obvious. Ava frowned and pointed her index finger at the mirror. “You’re too distracted lately.”
Ava sighed and pulled the bathroom door open. She hurried to her bedroom and fell back onto the mattress. Her hands swept across the soft threads of the comforter, and she battled with the idea of just staying right in this spot for the rest of the week, and the weekend.