Hear Me Out, And Try Not To Laugh

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Hear Me Out, And Try Not To Laugh Page 8

by Ao Jyumonji


  “No... I’m not the guy to ask,” Haruhiro said.

  “You’re not satisfied?”

  “Huh? No, I don’t think that’s the problem here...”

  “Her boobs are huge, man,” said Tada. “Though she’s huge in general.”

  “I don’t think that comes into it,” said Haruhiro.

  “It does,” Tada said with certainty. “Man, you make fun of boobs, you’ll be crying for them later.”

  “Is that how it works?”

  “What? You’ve never cried for boobs before?” Tada asked.

  “...Never.”

  “I have.”

  “Huh.”

  “You’re not going to ask?” Tada asked. “You’re not gonna ask for all the details?”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Haruhiro asked.

  “Like hell I would,” Tada snapped. “It’s my own private business. You must be off in the head, man.”

  You’re the last guy I want to hear that from. Haruhiro looked around the area. The ri-komos were staying quiet.

  “Don’t tell me... you got us alone together just so you could say that?” Haruhiro asked.

  “Yeah,” said Tada. “Don’t say I did it ‘just’ for that. It’s a big deal, got it?”

  “I don’t have any special feelings for her, so that’s that,” said Haruhiro.

  “You’re very clear on that, huh. You’re an honest guy. When you’re so good-natured, how are you so screwed in the head? What’s wrong with you?”

  “What’s wrong, indeed,” Haruhiro said. With you, that is.

  Soon, Ranta came back with Tokimune and the others. Ranta, Zodiac-kun, and the Tokkis came into the nest like it was no big deal, but Kuzaku, Shihoru, Yume, and Merry were timid.

  That’s normal, Haruhiro thought. It’s soothing to see. Normal is good. Normal is best.

  “Ohh.” Tokimune shaded his eyes with one hand and looked around restlessly. “This is the ri-komo nest, huh. Hmm. There’re a whole lot of them.”

  The ri-komos that had been keeping quiet until just a little while ago were now making a lot of noise. Haruhiro was beside himself with worry.

  “Wh... What do we do? From here on,” he stammered.

  “We go on, that’s what,” said Tokimune.

  “...That figures,” Haruhiro muttered.

  “You want to go back? Then do it. We’re staying. Actually, we’re gonna go even further, you know?”

  Tokimune was saying that they didn’t need Haruhiro to move forward with their exploration. If Haruhiro wanted to pull out, the Tokkis would continue exploring alone.

  “Let’s go,” Haruhiro said.

  “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Tokimune said, flashing his white teeth.

  I can’t help but feel I got egged into that one, Haruhiro thought, frustrated. Everything’s moving at the Tokkis’ pace. But if I fight with them for control, I can’t see any way I come out on top. Do I just have to go with the flow?

  If the ri-komos decided to remove the intruders, Haruhiro and the others—in that instant, it would be over. It was hard to predict any result but their utter annihilation.

  Taking the lantern from Kuzaku and advancing in two columns, Haruhiro wondered if these people understood that. It couldn’t be that they had no concept of the danger. They were taking a calculated risk. That was probably perfectly natural for the Tokkis.

  So these are the kinds of people... Haruhiro thought.

  These were the kinds of people suited to the volunteer soldier life. Not plain, boring people like Haruhiro, but people like the Tokkis, or, well, like Ranta, who were a little off in the head.

  Haruhiro was doing something he was ill-suited to. Was there meaning in doing what he could, ill-suited or not? Or were there things he could do precisely because he was ill-suited to the task?

  The ri-komos’ screeching showed no sign of abating—but they took no other action.

  “If it were just these guys,” Tokimune craned his neck as he spoke, “they’d be crushed in no time. The Wonder Hole is not a forgiving place.”

  Haruhiro more or less got what he was saying. The Wonder Hole was a place for survival of the fittest, where the strong ate the weak. Creatures that couldn’t defend their territory would quickly be exterminated.

  Even the three demi-humans, seen as the weakest races in the Wonder Hole, could be quite fierce, depending on their enemies. The ri-komos, though this was only based on Haruhiro’s current impressions, were too passive, and too weak.

  The path stretched on straight ahead. There were openings to turn left, right, and right, in that order, but Tokimune ignored them and went straight. Then they came to a T-junction.

  The ri-komos made a racket, but they didn’t attack.

  Haruhiro and the others turned left.

  There were two openings to turn left. When they passed them by, they stopped seeing that dim glow. They no longer heard the ri-komos’ voices.

  “Is this the end of the nest?” Haruhiro murmured.

  Tokimune pointed up ahead. “Nah, there’s a path. And besides—”

  “Yeah.”

  I know, Haruhiro thought. The wind.

  There was a flow of air coming from up ahead. It was fair to call it wind.

  Haruhiro hadn’t been relaxing, but he was suddenly tensing himself for something. He didn’t know what the reason was. Haruhiro didn’t have a clear basis for why, but Haruhiro’s expectations for what was to come were building. For whatever reason, everyone else seemed the same.

  The path started to snake. That, and it developed a slight slope. Upward.

  “Huh?” Ranta raised his voice, looking left and right and behind them. “Zodiac-kun’s gone...”

  “Didn’t you just run out of time?” Yume asked.

  “That can’t be it. Hmm...” Ranta cocked his head to the side. “Well, it’s fine.”

  It’s fine? Haruhiro thought for a moment. Well, I guess it’s fine, he reconsidered, sensing that he might be feeling a little hasty. I want to get to the end of this path as soon as I can. I feel like something will be there. No, there definitely will be something there.

  The wind is cold.

  There’s light up ahead.

  That light is—

  “Heh...” Inui growled lowly. “We’re outside, you say?”

  Outside, Haruhiro thought. No, that’s absurd. I mean, we’re pretty far down. This is underground. We can’t be outside. But... that light is almost like we’re outside. Then there’s this wind.

  “Ohhhhhhh! I can’t wait!” Ranta rushed forward.

  “You...!” Tada chased after him.

  “Hahahahahahahaha!” Tokimune started running as he laughed.

  “No fair! Me too, me too, me too!” Kikkawa yelled, following after them.

  “Heh...” Inui went, as well.

  “Hah! There is no cure for fool!” Anna-san yelled something insulting and chased after them at a sprint. “Then, I go, too, you know! I must go, yeah!”

  Mimorin was expressionless, silent, and walked forward with great strides.

  Haruhiro looked to Kuzaku, Shihoru, Yume, and Merry before chasing after them at a jog. He understood some of what Ranta and the others were feeling, even if he didn’t want to.

  After all, what if this really was outside?

  He didn’t think that it was, of course. That was impossible.

  But... what about the one-in-a-million chance it was? That would be something of an event. No, it might be more than just “something of” an event. At the very least, for pitiful Haruhiro, the mediocre guy who tried too hard, it would be a major event.

  Even though he wasn’t running full tilt, he was getting short of breath.

  Outside, he thought. Ahh.

  “Wow!” Haruhiro cried.

  The sky. He could see something like the sky.

  “Hyohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Ranta let out a bizarre cry of sheer amazement.

  “This is it!” Tokimune cried, having apparently g
otten ahead of Tada.

  “Haha!” Tada laughed.

  “Schwing!” Kikkawa wasn’t making any sense.

  What’s schwing even supposed to mean?

  “Heh... Hahahahaha!” Inui gave a loud villain laugh.

  “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” Anna-san was going crazy.

  Mimorin had stopped and stood still right after she got outside. The wind was bracing. Strong enough to make Mimorin’s thick hair stream in the breeze.

  Haruhiro stopped next to Mimorin. “This...”

  Encountering a scene like this, and only being able to say “This...” was an accurate manifestation of Haruhiro’s mediocrity, and it hurt.

  “Fwahhhhhhh...” Yume had her mouth open wide.

  “I can’t believe it,” Shihoru whispered as she held her hat down.

  “Seriously?” Kuzaku narrowed his eyes.

  “This is—” Merry shook her head back and forth, beginning to reach out towards Kuzaku before she pulled her hand back.

  There was a sky.

  Haruhiro and the others were below a sky studded with deep blue, blue with a light red undertone, purple, orange, yellow, red, and all the colors in between.

  It was the evening sky.

  Behind them was a hole that just opened into the side of a hill, and the sky spread out in all directions. They saw the sky at twilight nearly every day, but this was different. The hues were too vibrant. No, that wasn’t all. The sun rose in the east and set in the west. When the sun went down, it was the western sky that was red. When the sun rose, it was the opposite. But not in this sky.

  He couldn’t tell the cardinal directions, but it was red all over, with yellow as well.

  There was no sign of any sun.

  It was almost as if the sky had been splattered with different colored paints.

  Ranta and all of the Tokkis except Mimorin were rushing down the grass-covered slope. There were whitish pillar-like rocks dotted around the hill.

  Haruhiro noticed that Tokimune, the others, and the pillars cast no shadow. Of course, it was the same with Haruhiro.

  “No,” Mimorin mumbled. “This isn’t our world.”

  “Yeah,” Haruhiro nodded. “It’s another world.”

  7. An Issue of Time

  The Dusk Realm. That was the name Anna-san gave it.

  “It” being the other world that spread out beyond the ri-komo nest, of course.

  Haruhiro thought it wasn’t a bad name, honestly, and that maybe they should have her come up with a better name for the ri-komos, too.

  Their first day of exploration after discovering the Dusk Realm ended with them just wandering around in circles on that initial hill. The next day they planned to bring food, water, and tents so that they could continue their exploration without going home every day. If they could find a good spot, they wanted to set up a base camp for their expedition. For that, they were hoping to at least find a water source.

  There were many things they needed to think about, and all of them were fun.

  That night, Haruhiro couldn’t get a wink of sleep. He also didn’t feel like going to his usual place and drinking. He needed to get some sleep so that he was properly rested for tomorrow.

  Time to sleep. I’ve got to sleep. I’m gonna sleep.

  The more he thought that, the less able to sleep he was. He started to find Ranta’s snoring even more irritating than usual, he got pissed off, and—somehow, he still managed to fall asleep eventually, then woke up.

  They got ready, then headed out for their meeting place with the Tokkis, the hole just past the Kingdom of Devils.

  Haruhiro didn’t have a mechanical timepiece because they were expensive, so he didn’t know the precise time, but they left the Lonesome Field Outpost at around 7:00. The Wonder Hole was about a kilometer northwest of the outpost. Even considering the time it would take to pass through the valley of holes, the muryan nest, and the kingdom of devils, they would probably make it in time for the agreed meetup at 9:00.

  They didn’t encounter an ustrel, so they presumably arrived well before 9:00. Then they waited for what was easily an hour.

  “...They’re late!” Ranta stomped his feet indignantly. “We’ve been waiting for, like, half a day, you know?! The sun’s gonna set!”

  “We haven’t been waitin’ that long,” Yume looked half-exasperated, half-exhausted. “But, still. They sure are late. Yesterday, they were here on time.”

  “Do you think something happened?” Shihoru frowned and let out a little sigh.

  “Before we could meet up, you mean?” Merry looked at her left wrist. Tired of waiting or not, this was the Wonder Hole. She couldn’t let Protection wear off.

  “Ahh...” Kuzaku had been squatting for a while now. “Maybe they came a bit late, then ran into an ustrel... or something?”

  “Would an ustrel actually give them trouble?” Haruhiro crossed his arms. “I wonder.”

  “What do you say we just go on ahead?” Ranta snickered to himself evilly.

  “That’d be like we were tryin’ to get ahead of a start on them.” Yume puffed up her cheeks.

  “You mean a head start...” Haruhiro corrected her, then twisted his neck. “...Ah.”

  “They wouldn’t have.” Shihoru was quick on the uptake. Or perhaps those who this idea would and wouldn’t occur to might have more to do with their individual personalities.

  “Hm?” Ranta blinked, looking back and forth from Haruhiro to Shihoru.

  He’s an idiot, and half-asses everything, but he’s not sly and underhanded, huh, Haruhiro thought.

  “Huh?” Merry seemed to have realized. “...They couldn’t have.”

  “So, basically...” Kuzaku looked to the hole. “...it’s not they haven’t come yet, they’ve already gone on ahead.”

  “Well, it’s not like we know that for sure, you know...?” Haruhiro said.

  I don’t think we do. They wouldn’t do that. That was what Haruhiro wanted to think. But... I can’t rule it out.

  “Well, it is the Tokkis, after all...” he said slowly.

  They had an unpredictable side to them. The idea might pop into their heads, and they’d go, Are we gonna do this? Are we? and then just go ahead and do it. What’s more, they wouldn’t feel bad about it in the least.

  “Either way, don’t you think we should go?” Ranta said with uncharacteristic seriousness. “If they’re late, it’s their own fault. If they’re trying to steal a march on us, then it’s even more their fault. We’ve already wasted enough time. Time is money, they say. There’s no reason for us to sit put here any longer.”

  That all sounded reasonable. Despite having come out of Ranta’s mouth.

  “Why don’t we go?” Kuzaku stood up. “I’m tired of waiting.”

  There were no objections, so onward they went.

  First they passed through the round tunnel, then the seventeen egg rooms, which they could have ignored, but just to be safe, they gave them a cursory inspection. They didn’t see a single ri-komo.

  They headed down the vertical hole into the ri-komo nest.

  There are too many nests in the Wonder Hole, Haruhiro thought. We should have given the area a different name.

  A ways before they reached the ri-komo nest, Haruhiro noticed something had changed. It was strangely loud. The ri-komos had been talking about something yesterday, too, but this time, they seemed far more noisy than they had been before.

  “Yeah, something’s weird.” Ranta cast the spell to summon Zodiac-kun.

  “...Ehe... Eheheh... Finally... Today Ranta dies... Ehehehe... Ehe...”

  “You never change, huh, Zodiac-kun...” said Haruhiro.

  This was no time to be impressed with the demon. Haruhiro was being pressed to make a decision. But, well, that was nothing new.

  “I’ll go take a look,” he decided. “Everyone else, stay here. If it’s dangerous, I’ll shout, so run away immediately.”

  “Got it.” Ranta put a hand on Haruhiro’s shoulder, st
icking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth and winking. “If it comes down to it, we’ll abandon you and run. Don’t you worry about that.”

  While, yes, Haruhiro had meant for them to do just that, it still pissed him off. But, he knew his anger would only make Ranta happy.

  Haruhiro left the lantern behind and used Sneaking to scout ahead. Stopping just in front of the ri-komo nest, he tried to get a feel for the situation.

  Yeah, they really are excited about something, was his impression. Was there some cause? Or was it common for the ri-komos to make this much of a ruckus?

  They’re just noisy, that’s all, Haruhiro thought to himself, working up his courage, then deciding to try going a little ways into the nest.

  All right! He went in.

  Nothing changed. Nothing happened. The ri-komos were scattered all over, the same as before.

  Maybe there was something that Haruhiro just didn’t notice. And wait, there was something coming his way from over on the other side.

  A ri-komo? he thought. Apparently not. It looks human... Or so he thought, but when it came time to make a call on what to do, Haruhiro wasn’t sure.

  A person? Who...?

  There were only twelve people who knew this place existed, Haruhiro included. If he thought about it normally, it would have to be one of them. In other words, one of the Tokkis. But that was—

  One single person, Haruhiro thought. Just one person.

  They’re still far off, and it’s not that bright here, so I can’t see very well. All I can say for sure is that they look human-like. They might not be human. They could be some other human-looking creature. A dangerous one, maybe. And possibly the reason the ri-komos are making so much noise.

  “No...” Haruhiro shook his head.

  That’s a human. He’s walking this way. Or rather, it’s like he’s trying to run, but can’t. He’s dragging his leg behind him. Is he injured?

  He’s stopped. Looks like he’s resting for a moment.

  Haruhiro began to walk. After a moment, he recognized...

  “Kikkawa?!”

  “...Harucchi,” the man said.

  I got a reply. Looks like I was right. Kikkawa. It’s Kikkawa.

  Haruhiro rushed over to Kikkawa. He wasn’t sounding cheerful enough. Haruhiro knew it was Kikkawa, but he didn’t know how bad his injuries were.

 

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