by Box Set
“You're right, and I should have come to see John more often.” And you.
She narrowed her eyes. “So, why didn't you?”
“It was never the right time.” He took a sip of coffee, hoping its bitterness could wash away the acrid taste of the lie. “There was always another ride to make in order to stay at the top. It was like I was one of those hamsters that just runs on a wheel until it falls off. Unless an injury forced it, I couldn't stop and still make All-Around.” He shrugged. “That didn't leave much time for visits home.” He didn’t tell her about the one time he’d caved. She’d been away at school and, obviously, John hadn’t shared the information with her.
“Or phone calls,” she pointed out.
He couldn’t argue with her rebuke. “It wasn't all prize money and celebrity, that much is for sure.”
“It looks that way to everyone here.”
“Gotta put on a show.” Ty lifted his cup in deference, finishing it off with one last swallow.
“You mean, lie.”
“I like to think of it as pretending.”
“Yeah, you were always good at that.”
He knew she wasn’t talking about his rodeo career any longer. The hurt of the past continued to rear its head in every conversation. “It’s the life I chose, and I loved some parts. Others, not so much.” His gaze bore into hers, begging her to understand, to see the truth. “I had to make sacrifices. And some mistakes.”
Rayne shook her head in obvious disgust.
“What about you? What did you do after...” he paused, searching for words that wouldn't remind her of the night he’d left, “coming back?”
She met his gaze and he could see the intensity in her eyes. He might not have said the words, but that hadn’t stopped her from remembering what he’d said when he threw her love back in her face. What an idiot he’d been.
“I went back to John's, and he gave me a job keeping his books. It freed him up to be more hands-on with the daily operations of the ranch. Enough that he let me keep doing it even after I started at college.”
“He loved you like you were his daughter.”
“He loved us all,” she countered. “But I've always seen him that way.” A soft smile spread over Rayne's face. This was the woman he remembered, filled with kindness and love. “I don't know what I would have done without John. He covered every expense that my scholarships and grants didn't.”
“You didn’t take the full-ride?” That scholarship was the only reason he’d ended things with Rayne. She’d been set on turning it down to travel the rodeo circuit with him and, with that decision, would have given up her future as a veterinarian. He knew what being a vet meant to her, and he wasn’t going to let her turn it down for him.
“I couldn’t. Word got out about what John was doing, how well it was going, and after all of you guys left that summer, the state wanted to send more kids. He got a grant to expand. I wasn’t going to leave John here to manage it alone.”
Ty couldn’t breathe, like he’d just hit the ground from being bucked off a rank bronc. He’d have never let her go if he’d thought she was going to turn it down.
“Then how…”
“I figured out other options. It wasn’t like I was just going to give up. I’m pretty resourceful when I want something.” He couldn’t help the slither of guilt that crept through his chest at her comment. “Once I headed to vet school, I didn't have time to do his books anymore, so he found a bookkeeper. I still tried to come home as often as I could for him. He realized it was easier to hire on extra hands, so he hired Maria to cook and a few counselors. The ranch has grown quite a bit. After my dad died—”
“I’m sorry.” He reached for her hand, laying his over her own, but she moved hers away. Ty gritted his teeth, wishing she would let him comfort her. Every time he tried, she pulled away, reminding him of how far he had to go to regain her trust again.
“The man was never there, Ty. He was my father, but biology was where our connection ended, long before he overdosed.”
Ty knew how Rayne felt about her father. She'd made it abundantly clear when they were kids that she'd rather be away from her broken home than in it. It was the main reason John had never had the heart to turn her away, even though, technically, only boys were supposed to stay at the ranch. He even set up a room, just for her, so she always had a home to come to when things weren't safe with her father. Between her father's drinking binges and the many nights he was too busy shooting up with his buddies to worry about the leering gazes cast her way, it wasn't a safe place for a young girl to be raised. She'd known it, John had known it...hell, all of the guys knew it. Which was also why they'd treated her like a pesky little sister, at least at first.
“How did vet school go?” he asked, changing the sensitive subject.
She played with the rim of her cup, running a fingernail around the edge. She was stalling and he wondered why.
“It was hectic. I'd never known what it was like to be that busy all of the time. Between studying, interning at a clinic and classes, I barely had time to breathe. But I loved every second of it.”
“Then what?” He pressed on, loving the way her eyes lit up as she talked about school. Watching her, he could almost believe he'd done the right thing, letting her go so she'd take a chance at her dream and get away from her father for good. “That was, what? Another four years of school?”
“Plus my residency. By that time, Robert was already licensed and running a clinic outside of Redding so I worked with him. After we got married, he specialized in the small and exotic animals, and I handled the large ones.”
Jealousy rose up, even more bitter than his regret and guilt, nearly choking him. He clenched his jaw, willing himself to think of something to say that wouldn't sound as resentful as he felt, but the words wouldn't come. He inhaled deeply, trying to control the emotions swirling within him, threatening to spill out.
“And now, I’m back here.”
“What happened?”
Nice, Ty. That doesn't sound like prying at all, his inner voice taunted.
Ty was afraid he’d regret asking but he had to know, if only to convince his heart that she had moved on and was happy with her life.
She shrugged, but he didn’t miss the self-recrimination in her face. “Too many hours working together but never really seeing one another. Too much time leading separate lives and never staying connected. He bought me out of my share of the clinic in the divorce, and I came back home and opened my clinic here.”
Hope flared bright and hot in his chest, even as he empathized for the disappointment she must have felt. “He's an idiot.”
Instead of the relief he expected to see, her eyes shuttered. “You have no right to say that to me.” She rose from the chair, slapping her palms against the top of the table as she leaned over him. “At least he never lied to me about how he felt.”
Ty's face flushed as his mistake came back to haunt him again. He’d hoped that he could find a way to make her forgive him, but as he looked into her eyes now, he realized it would never happen until he confessed what he’d done. He had to tell her the truth about why he’d done it. She would understand; she had to, because he couldn’t let her go a second time.
Chapter 4
“Rayne, that night in the hospital—”
“Don't,” she warned, raising a hand to ward off any more from him. “I don't want to hear it.” She spun on her heel, ready to flee. She didn’t want to hear any more excuses, no more apologies. Nothing he said was going to change what he’d done. Rayne’s heart raced like she'd just finished running miles, and her skin was flushed with heat, feverish.
A chair scraped on the scuffed linoleum floor, and she knew he was following her. She didn't want him to, even as her heart hoped he would. Warm fingers closed around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks as he moved closer. Ty loosened his hold, his fingers twining between hers, his chest pressing against her, and Rayne felt her resolve disappear.
He was so close she could feel his warm breath against her ear and, in spite of how much she wanted to hate him, she leaned back against into him, letting his strength support her, like she always had. Ty had been her rock from the day they’d met. It was instinct for her body to crave his touch, but she knew she had to fight it. His lips brushed the shell of her ear, and a shiver of longing raced down her spine.
“I left Saddle Creek for you, Rayne, but I’ve come back for the same reason. I lied when I left. I loved you then, Rayne.” His voice was husky with emotion, making her entire body quiver from the inside. “I've never stopped loving you.”
Questions flew at her from every side. Why had he done it? What good had come of it? How could he have left if he loved her? Why shouldn’t she assume he was lying now?
Rayne didn’t have any answers. Years ago, she believed him when he professed his love, only to be heartbroken when he denied it. Now he was telling her that rejection was the lie?
His fingers slid up to her jaw and he turned her face slightly, begging her to look at him. But she was too afraid to meet his gaze. Afraid of what she would see in the depths of those dark eyes. Afraid she might believe him, or believe in him. Most of all, she was afraid that she would be wrong, again.
Rayne squared her shoulders, forcing herself to move away from the heat threatening to melt her resolve. She dredged up the memories she'd buried of the heartbreak she'd felt. Turning to face him, she pressed a hand against the hard wall of his chest and pushed herself away.
“You said so many things, promised so many things about us.” She took another step away from him, shaking her head in denial. Logic fought with the desire to stay in his arms, just a moment longer. Rayne squared her shoulders. “How am I supposed to distinguish the truth from lies anymore? I’ve picked up the pieces you left behind and moved on, Ty. If you really came back because you love me, you’re too late.”
There was nothing more that needed to be said. Rayne knew she had to make her escape now or risk falling for Ty Prescott again.
And that was something she'd promised herself she would never do again
***
Rayne tried to force herself to focus on the invoices spread out on the desk in front of her. It was a menial task that would probably be better left to Carly, her office manager, especially when her thoughts continually circled back to Ty, but she sought the relief numbers provided. She'd always had a knack for bookkeeping, and the debits and credits had a way of helping her remain rational in situations where her emotions threatened to take control. Much like they had at the hospital yesterday.
She'd driven home in a fog and found herself tossing and turning that night, trying to find something to help her forget the desperation she'd heard when he told her he still loved her. Even a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream and half a bottle of Syrah hadn't chased away the echo of his anguish. It had haunted her fitful dreams until she'd finally given up on sleep and walked the short distance from her home to the clinic a few hours before the office usually opened.
The problem was that she wanted to believe Ty.
It didn't matter how much her head argued with her heart, giving her hundreds of reasons for not believing him, or the fact that past history proved he would hurt her in the end. Her heart begged her to give him a chance to prove himself, even as her mind screamed that the idea was asinine. The simple fact was that, while logic might serve her well in her career, it was no match for the love she’d had for Ty. In spite of her sense of self-preservation, that love hadn’t been snuffed out—it had only been left untended, smoldering beneath the ashes of his betrayal.
Which had led her to this moment, sitting at her desk, slumped in her office chair with a crick in her neck from staring at the computer screen for the past three hours. She sat up, closing her strained eyes, and rocked her head from side to side in an effort to loosen the tight muscles, letting the early morning light filter through the blinds. Carly would be here any minute to open up.
Goosebumps broke out over her arms and her heart skipped a beat. Before she could turn toward the door to figure out why, warm hands moved over her shoulders, kneading the knotted muscles of her neck.
“You never came back to see John.”
Ty's voice was warm, cajoling and oh, so tempting, with just enough gravel in it to sound intimate and send the butterflies in her stomach soaring. But she'd been down this road before with him. She tried to brush his hands away but, with her chair pushed into the desk, she found herself trapped, a willing captive. A fact he was certain to take advantage of.
His hands withdrew for a moment. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” Her voice was a whisper of sound, so quiet she wasn’t sure she’d actually spoke aloud until he began to massage her shoulders again.
She felt her body relax into his hands, craving his touch, as they worked over the tense muscles to the base of her skull. A quiet moan slipped past her lips. His fingers worked magic as they ran through her hair. She bit her lower lip to keep herself from purring. It felt so good. Too good.
“How'd you get in here? I know Carly wouldn't have let you in.” Her friend might not know the details of her relationship with Ty, but she'd heard the way Rayne had said his name whenever it was mentioned over the years, and it left no mistake about how Rayne felt about him.
“You left the back door open. I saw the light on.”
“Most people don't assume that's an open invitation to enter, especially when they don’t know if they’re welcome.”
“I'm not most people, am I, Rayne?”
No. No, he wasn't. Her heart pounded in her chest. She fought the urge to stand and wrap her arms around his waist, to give in to the longing to lose herself in the easy friendship and the passion that had once burned so brightly.
The realization of what she was doing hit her hard, and she pushed herself back from the desk, scattering the files and running over his foot with the roller on the chair.
“Ow!” He jumped backward, and she seized the moment to put some space between them, vaulting from her chair and moving to the other side of her desk. “Damn woman, all you had to do was ask me to stop.” Ty laughed, even as he grimaced at the pain in his toe.
“Because that’s ever worked?”
Ty took a step back, giving her some space to gather her bearings, and she tried to catch her breath. He looked down at his hands and shook his head. “We had fun, right, Rayne?” His voice held a note of sadness, regret for what could have been.
She sighed. “Yeah, Ty, we did.”
“How many times did we sneak out?”
She couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Remember when your truck got stuck in the mud?”
Ty laughed along with her at the memory. They’d been seventeen and he’d thrown blankets into the back of his truck, picking her up as she headed to John’s place. They’d headed to the river and watched the moon rise high into the sky. By midnight, she decided it was time to head back to John’s before he realized Ty had snuck out. Only when Ty tried to give the truck some gas, the tires spun and the truck rocked, but nothing happened. Ty had put her in charge and headed to the back to push the truck out of the mud, but she gave the truck too much gas, covering him with muck. By the time they’d finally made it back to the ranch, he was painted from head to toe.
She’d been so young and naïve, following him wherever he led, believing that their love would last forever. Looking back, she wasn’t sure where they’d gone wrong or what she could have done to change things. She’d loved Ty with every breath in her body, with her entire soul. It might have been a mistake to trust him, but it had helped shape her into the woman she’d become. Stronger, more independent, and less likely to make the same mistake again. Maybe that was why Bobby’s affair hadn’t hurt the way it should have. She’d never completely trusted anyone with her heart after Ty.
“Why are you here?” The simple question could be talking about so man
y different things.
“I have a horse that needs a vet check.”
She wasn’t surprised that he chose to see the face value of her inquiry. “I told you your horse would be fine.”
“No, a different one. I’m thinking about buying her. She's tied to my trailer outside.”
Rayne sighed as she brushed past him, heading for the front of the building. She had to gain control of these warring emotions or she was going to find herself with a broken heart again. “Then next time, call ahead and use the front door like every other client.”
“So, there will be a next time?”
“Ugh,” she growled, letting the door fall shut in his face. “Do you have to act like such a child?”
“You still love me.”
She knew it was just a joke, but it only reminded her of his broken promises and the pain he'd caused her.
“No, I don't.”
Her words were clipped and sharper than she'd intended, but she didn't want him getting any ideas that there were any feelings left for him. Even if it felt like one more lie among many. The fact was Ty didn't deserve the love she'd offered him. Not then and, regardless of his remorse, not now.
Rayne unlocked the front door of her clinic and pushed the door open, gasping at the shining sorrel mare tied to the side of Ty's trailer. She was a gorgeous copper color, glimmering like a new penny in the early morning sunrise. She nickered in welcome as the pair moved closer and Rayne’s hand glided over the animal's neck, noting the slope of her shoulder before running her hands over the mare's legs and inspecting her hooves.
“What are you using her for?”
“Calf-roping, maybe team roping as a head horse.”
Rayne stood up and looked at the mare's front teeth, running her fingers inside her cheek to inspect her molars. “She needs these floated,” she pointed out. “She's got a great eye and beautiful conformation. Papers?”
Ty nodded. “She's foundation bred.”
Surprised, Rayne looked back at him as he leaned a shoulder against the trailer. “Then why not breed her? I thought that's what you said you were planning to do.”