“I don’t think the police know where they are,” Alice answered truthfully. But she just might if she could find the time to take the trip. She needed to go to Florida on ‘business’ but with Kathy being open to trying their relationship again she didn’t want to ruin that by going away.
“Can’t you find them?” Kathy pleaded knowing Alice could do almost anything.
Alice looked at her for a long moment and hesitated. “I can, but are you sure you want me to find them?” She also didn’t want the police or the FBI to find them; she felt it was a personal matter. They had caused untold grief in their own family much less many other women and girls and they needed to pay.
“They must be punished!” Kathy said vehemently, her anger was focusing on these two for now.
Alice agreed and nodded as she took Kathy into her arms to calm her down. She couldn’t tell her now that she already knew where they might be. She wasn’t sure where Kathy was heading with this, did she want them punished by the legal system where they just might get off, or did she want more? Alice wasn’t sure and she wasn’t about to ask at this point.
“Thank you Alice,” Kathy clutched at her holding her close and knowing that she had kept their daughter safe. She felt safe in Alice’s arms.
Alice loved her and tenderly made love to her, the violence was still there as Kathy returned the favor, she seemed unable to have a ‘normal’ love life without the rough sex but Alice enjoyed loving her and tried endlessly to show her it wasn’t necessary. It saddened her despite all the strides they had made in communication and in their relationship that Kathy simply couldn’t, or wouldn’t get beyond this one point. Alice wasn’t sure how to change it so she didn’t try. All she could do was love Kathy tenderly and hope she would find the way back to the tender and passionate woman she had been. If not, Alice had to be grateful she at least had her back to some degree.
The next day Alice was checking her emails, stocks, and any other business that regularly came up. She also checked the emails that Kit sent out as well as their employees and other things that she constantly monitored for their safety. Any reference to where they were in the world never made it out of their computer system. Even the employee’s emails were monitored. Several times their computers had mysteriously gone down when they attempted to locate the island on a map. No one had put two and two together and Alice was relieved. It was put down to the peculiarities of living on an island. Little did they know how much Alice was aware of in all of their lives and how many secrets that she kept.
“Alice?”
She looked up to see Kathy approaching her holding out a rather small book that Alice knew was her journal. She looked at Kathy in puzzlement waiting for her to say something. She could have looked at it many times and had been tempted but resisted.
“I want you to read this?” Kathy told her. She had debated long and hard but after what Alice had told her about Kit and the fake doctor and her friend Bonnie she felt she had to take the chance and she had to share more of what had happened with Alice. Alice she knew she could trust, she just hoped, she prayed this wouldn’t change what they felt for each other. It had taken a lot for her feel this way. The journal contained some of her most intimate thoughts, her anger, her agony. Even the doctor’s had never seen it even though several had advised her to write about what happened to her. Only after the last doctor had left had she felt the need to release these thoughts onto paper.
“Are you sure about this?” Alice asked hesitating to take it from her outstretched hand.
Kathy hesitated too and then nodded as she shoved it towards her again. She was nervous; she knew some of it wasn’t coherent. She had read and re-read it many times herself and added to it, scratched out some, re-wrote chapters, but all in all it contained everything she could remember. Everything that angered her. All the frustrations, all the hurt and anxiety. Getting it out, getting it on paper had released the obsessive need she had had to go over it in her psyche. It had released her so she could seek out Alice again and start to build their relationship again. She had been so afraid for so long, she was afraid now. She needed to have Alice read it though. She needed to know if Alice would still love her after she read the horrible details of what had been done to her.
Alice gingerly took the book her wife was offering to her. She stood up and said, “You don’t have to do this you know.”
Kathy nodded again and said, “I know, but I need you to read this, not now if you’re busy, but soon, please?”
Alice could see the anxiety this was giving her wife. She took her into her arms, wrapping herself around her to comfort her. “I’ll start reading it right away, nothing is more important to me than you.” She leaned back to pull Kathy’s face up so she was gazing into those pretty eyes as she smiled, “Nothing.” She leaned in for a kiss, no passion, but feelings and emotions were shared in that one lip on lip tender kiss.
Kathy was shaking she was relieved that Alice now had possession of the book but she still had such a coil of anxiety she needed to get away. She decided to go out and the dog followed along as she sought out the children who could almost always be found on the beach in the least amount of clothing possible. They were all darkly tanned and healthy looking from living so close to the equator for so long, eating good food, and constant running on the sands kept their muscles toned.
Alice shut down the computers. She hadn’t lied. Nothing was more important than reading the journal her wife had worked so hard on. She sat down in the comfortable chair she kept at the desk and leaned back.
I don’t remember how I got there. I was going to have a picnic with Alice is the last thing I remember. Someone was in the condo though. I vaguely remember waking up a time or two, I don’t remember where I was. Some man wants me to wake up. He reminds me of Simon. He insists I call him Master. How insane is that? He rapes me to prove he is superior than me and that he now owns me. I can hear the screams and moans of what he does to the others. I’m in some sort of prison. I can see the concrete blocks, they are painted white, there are ten of them up the wall, another ten across, I end up counting them many times. The room is cube shaped. The bed I am on is only a cot. I never realized how long I would be there. I never realized the passage of time though. There are no windows. Nothing to tell me when he would come, nothing to tell me when I would be fed. Nothing to distract me. No television, no computer, and occasionally a treat, a book, carefully selected by the ‘Master.’ The books are disgusting; they are almost always about sex and how to please your man. I’ve told him that there is some mistake, I’m a mother, I must get back to my children, to my wife. He tells me that the unnatural lifestyle I was living is over. I was his and would do exactly what I was told. When I tried to say no he punished me.
I was held down today and whipped. He seemed to get aroused by this as he forced himself into me from behind, enjoying the feel of the whip marks against him. It felt like he ripped me. It hurts; he loves to hear me scream. Later he films it and explains how to break me. He laughs as he sodomizes me. I can hear but not see others as he has masked me. He calls for volunteers. They painfully penetrate me in my mouth, my vagina, and my anus.
Many of these remembrances show Kathy’s anxiety and tears. The hand written notes were uneven and show that she must have been shaking when she wrote it. There are frequent misspellings, cross outs of entire sentences that Alice can still read, and entire repeats of the same line and story but told differently each time as though she had to get the story out in any way possible, to make sure every thought, every deed, and every bit of it was down on the paper. She told of the repeated rapes that eventually got so common that she couldn’t remember them, the multiple partners, the sadistic taunting by her owner and the men he allowed to use her. She became numb, impervious to what they did to her, they didn’t care if she had pleasure, she was there only for their pleasure. Then they began to insist that she have an orgasm, they somehow knew when she faked them too and she was punished f
or that, they continued to use her until she had one, she learned to have them quickly to get it done and over with, they were convinced it was due to their prowess instead of the threats of more punishment. There was a doctor on the premises in case she became pregnant or if someone got too rough. She had been beaten, she had been whipped, but the psychological torture was worse and the doctor no help with this. They hung her from the ceiling and used her mercilessly and in every position, much of it filmed. They had parties with the other beaten down women, some that had learned to enjoy the torture and abuse.
Alice had known a lot of this from her own review of Kathy’s and the other’s tapes and Alex’s own notes of his ‘property’ but to hear it first hand and from Kathy’s own words was horrifying. If Alex wasn’t already dead and buried Alice would have dug him up and killed him again and again for what he had done to Kathy and the others, but mostly for what he had done to her wife.
Forced to do anything they wanted if she deviated from the ‘accepted’ behavior she was punished, whipped, or even forced to have group sex which they felt was a treat. Alice’s heart was tearing as she read this and more. Comparing it to what she already knew she was deeply angry and desperately wanted to make a trip to make the others pay for their indulgences. Bonnie and Dr. Dan were the ones who had brought Kathy to his attention but Kathy didn’t know this, Alice however placed the blame squarely on them. No wonder Kathy had such horrible nightmares, had taken so long to even try to talk to Alice and the children. It showed how brave she truly was.
Alice also analyzed her own feelings. She felt possessive about Kathy and their family. Did she feel she owned Kathy? Had she ever treated Kathy in this manner in the slightest degree?
Kathy and the children returned to the house for dinner. Kathy looked at Alice hesitantly and could see she was still reading the journal these many hours later. She looked for any sign of rejection. Instead Alice nodded and swallowed back the lump that was in her throat. She got up to hug Kathy and whisper, “I’m going to our bedroom to finish this, okay?” she pulled back to gaze into Kathy’s eyes.
Kathy nodded dumbly not sure if she should worry or if Alice was just being merely kind to her. She saw she had the journal tightly in her hand, her finger holding her page. “I’ll just get the kids fed.”
Alice nodded as she turned and headed to the master bedroom to continue her reading.
They keep asking me if I know who freed us; I didn’t see anyone for days on end. My food came in the slot in the door. I didn’t go out to exercise and I lived in fear of the door opening, it meant they wanted me for some perversion. Oh God, the things they made me do! I don’t even remember all of them. Why can’t they stop asking me! They keep asking me things I have no answers for.
I’m afraid of Alice. She looks so … normal. She stopped the questions though, I’m grateful for that. She got them to leave me alone too.
I didn’t know Alice owned an island. I don’t know where we are. I’m scared to be alone with them all but I’m relieved to be away from all the questions. The agents try to be kind but they ask the same questions over and over again. The doctors seem fascinated by me. I’m some oddity. I will never be the same. I will never be normal. Alice took us here to keep them away or so she says, can I trust her again?
Dr. Lambert wants me to write in the journal but I never started this until she left. She wanted me to go with her back to Los Angeles. She wants me to leave Alice. Alice who has been nothing but kind to me, I can trust her can’t I?
I can finally talk to the children. All they want from me is love. Kit and Sean remember me of course but Emily has to learn who I am again. She is so good, so precious, and looks a lot like Alice. Oh God how could he have let that all happen to me, I’ve missed so much. Kit understands more of what happened to me but I can’t answer her questions either. Sean’s are easier but he too only vaguely remembers me.
It amazes me to see how the children are with Alice. They are closer to her. They don’t want me. They don’t need me. Then they want too much. I’m so afraid. Of what I don’t know. Does Alice want me still? Does she love me still?
Alice had to stop reading. So much of it was too painful to read. So much of it didn’t make sense or was incoherent and disjointed. She couldn’t stop the deep anger she was feeling at the pain that Kathy was pouring out into these passages. What she could make out was killing her inside. What compassion she had for humanity was slowly dying. These people deserved no prison sentences, they deserved punishment, they deserved what Alice was going to make sure they got.
It took her all evening to read it all, twice through. She found she had missed passages the first time in her desire to read it all quickly. The anger came though in the way Kathy wrote it, the hurt, the frustration. She had waved Kit away when she announced dinner, she wasn’t hungry, she couldn’t eat. She was deeply angry and trying to deal with her own emotions. It was worse than reading Alex’s reports and watching the videos or seeing her wife debased and degraded. Reading her wife’s thoughts and feelings regarding what had been done to her was more important than anything else in her life now.
Kathy came to bed late, part of it was getting the kids to bed with Nan’s help and trying to keep everything ‘normal’ when she was a bundle of nerves. Watching the family movie with the kids she didn’t see a frame of it that she could remember. She was reliving the words she knew Alice was reading. She was wondering if her marriage was over, was Alice going to be so disgusted she never wanted to touch her again? Part of it was to avoid the answers to her questions and Alice. She finally had to go to bed unless she was going to sleep on the couch.
Alice looked up from where she was staring into space. The book was clutched in her hand, bent slightly despite its hard cover from her holding it so tightly in her fist. She had finished reading it all a second and in some places a third time long ago. She had been thinking for a long time. She couldn’t leave abruptly to take care of ‘business’ or Kathy would misinterpret it. She needed to handle Kathy with kid gloves.
Kathy was very nervous. She glanced down at the journal, the source of her nervousness and glanced up at Alice’s face. It was stone cold, devoid of expression.
Alice realized in all the years they had been together she had ‘pretended’ many times about her feelings and emotions because she didn’t understand many of them, thought she hadn’t experienced them, especially when she had to take care of special ‘business.’ She had to put on her best ‘act’ now for Kathy, some of it wouldn’t of course be an ‘act’ but for Kathy’s sake she would make the effort to make things ‘normal.’ She got up from the bed and threw the journal back on it as she took Kathy into her arms. “Oh God baby, I am so sorry you had to go through all that.” What more could she say really without sounding trite or stupid. She wanted to tell Kathy that she would take care of it all for her, that she would kill them all. She wanted to tell her it would all be all right, but it never would again. They both knew that. All she could do was be there for Kathy.
Kathy relaxed as Alice took her in her arms. She began to cry at her words and Alice held her, not awkwardly, none of the worries that Kathy had had over Alice reading what had happened came to pass. Alice was there for her, Alice still loved her. She breathed a gigantic sigh of relief as she cried in her wife’s arms.
“Shhh, shhh, shhh, baby, it’s all right, I’m here for you, shhh,” Alice consoled her. She had never felt like this before. What a conflict of interest. She wanted to go out and kill someone, she wanted revenge for her wife, for what they had done, and here she was holding her wife, who was alive, who had survived a horrible ordeal. At least she had her…
It took Kathy a while to stop sobbing, Alice’s shirt was soaked, but finally, the relief, the worry, the anxiety all combined had been let out in a shedding of tears. Slowly Alice kissed her own relief when Kathy stopped her crying. There hadn’t been much she could do. The emotions that she herself was dealing with, she could only imagine Kat
hy’s own after what she had read, the whole situation was awkward but Alice held her tenderly until she felt herself enough to look up and sigh one last sob. The tender kiss told Kathy so many things. Alice still loved her, accepted her, and didn’t reject her.
Alice slowly began to make love to Kathy, not letting her make it rough, stopping each time a caress was too hard, too determined, and not tender enough. Frequently she pulled Kathy’s hands from her body. She didn’t want it rough, she had allowed Kathy to set the pace for so long that she felt she could control it each and every time. Alice wouldn’t let her this time. She didn’t control Kathy but she wouldn’t accept fast and furious. Slowly, tenderly, she made love to her wife. Taking her time showing her she felt she was desirable, loved, and wanted. She kissed every inch of her body, tongued along her tan lines, laved attention on her nipples, her buttocks, even the backs of knees which tickled and caused Kathy to squirm. No part of her body was denied attention. She was craving more and quick but Alice set the pace, she pulled Kathy’s hands away each time she caressed too hard or tried to hurry her along.
Kathy couldn’t seem to stop herself, she wanted Alice’s loving and she wanted it now. This unhurried Alice was driving her insane and yet each time she tried to incite her, get her to move it along, she was stopped and it would begin again. It was beautiful, it was nostalgic, it was maddening. She felt her arousal though deep within her, not forced from her by her own hurried coupling.
Alice slowly aroused her wife until her writhing told her the state she was in. She gently parted her legs which spread as if by magic so eager was Kathy to be loved by her methodical wife. As Alice gently massaged her way into Kathy’s most secret passage, kissing her way up Kathy’s soft skin, Kathy moved to make it easier for her wife to access, to get there faster, Alice slowed down, driving a sound of frustration from Kathy’s parted lips. The touch on her clit felt oh so nice when it finally happened, she craved more though. Alice kissed her way to the center of Kathy’s universe for the moment. The touch of her tongue on this little piece of flesh, the feel of her fingers as they massaged their way inwards, the combination and her frustration over it all building caused an instant orgasm. Alice narrowly missed having the bridge of her nose hit with Kathy’s pelvic bone as she gasped at the intensity of her orgasm.
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