by Hilary Wilde
"How nice of you to ask us . . ." Elinor said a little stiffly. "Have you fixed the date yet?"
"It will be the first thing we do when we get home . . ." Alison said happily. "Probably marry in three months' time. I've got some of my trousseau already. There will be crowds of people at the wedding, of course. Kit is very well-known. I'd prefer a city wedding, but I know he will want us to go to the funny little church near the station that we have always attended."
"And . . . when you are married," Elinor said, "will you be able to settle down on the station?"
Alison's laugh rang out. "Of course not. I don't intend to . . ." she added complacently. "It's time Kit had a manager for the station—he can well afford a dozen managers—so that we can lead our own life. I know I'll be able to make Kit understand my point of view. We'll go to other countries and study their methods of sheep and horse-rearing and Kit will be happy and I will enjoy myself . . ."
"If you have children . . ." Elinor said with difficulty, "it won't be so easy."
Alison laughed. "Oh, we shan't have any for a few years and then I intend to have two, a boy and a girl. We'll have a good nurse—probably a Norland nurse sent out from England—and I'll still be free . . ." Her voice changed. "I suppose when you marry your Max, you'll settle down in a small suburban villa in England and do all your own work
and manage a horde of babies, too. You're the type of girl who has a big family and enjoys being a martyr . . ."
"I am not .. ." Elinor began indignantly. But it was partly true. She wanted at least four children.
Alison stood up. "You've as little sense of humour as your sister," she told Elinor. She paused, staring down at her. "By the way, don't go spreading the news around about Kit and me, will you? We want to keep it a secret until the engagement is announced."
"I won't tell anyone," Elinor promised.
When Alison left her and she was alone, Elinor held up the book as a shield and stared at the blurred print. Would Kit be happy if he married Alison? Alison's idea of a marriage was a selfish one. The other girl had never once said anything about Kit's happiness. Would Kit enjoy a life, rushing round the world with Alison?
But would he do it if he didn't want to? Somehow it was impossible to imagine a man like Kit meekly obeying his wife's whims. Why, there was something about him so strong, so vital . . . you felt his strength when he just entered a room. He would not obey any woman . . . Then what would happen? Would Alison nag him . . . or leave him .. ?
Elinor stood up, the wind tugging at her hair, wrapping her blue skirt round her legs as she battled her way against it, down the steep staircase and along to Mrs. Anderson's cabin.
There were trunks on the bed,. suitcases on the floor, all half-packed. The warm welcome smile Elinor
got from the woman sitting in an armchair made it easier for Elinor to go in for a chat.
"My dear, I am glad to see you. Patricia .. . that's the nice girl who is nursing me, or rather . . ." she laughed, "has been looking after me, has gone to meet her boy friend. Romance is in the air . . ." Mrs. Anderson went on. "Pat came with me from South Africa, because she wanted a chance to see the world, and now she has fallen in love and got engaged. Such a nice boy, too . . ." Mrs. Anderson's face was quite excited, her eyes bright. "I do love a good romance, dear, and Pat has told me about this so that I have followed it every step of the way. She'll be settling in Australia so I'm very happy for her . . ."
Mrs. Anderson fingered the pearls around her neck and gazed at the quiet girl. "What have you been doing this morning, Elinor?" she asked. "You don't need to start packing yet for you're going on to Melbourne, of course."
"No, I don't need to start yet . ." Elinor said dully. Not that it would take long, in any case, for she and Valerie had not got very much. "Mrs. Anderson . . ." she said suddenly, finding courage at last. "Do you think Alison loves Kit?"
Mrs. Anderson looked at her thoughtfully. "I think she loves him as much as she is capable of loving anyone."
Elinor's eyes widened. "But is that enough?" she asked.
"I imagine Kit thinks so," Mrs. Anderson said drily. "He has known her all his life—he knows just
how egotistical and selfish she is. I suppose he's prepared to accept this . . . what made you ask?"
"Well . . . I . . . we . . . Alison has just been talking to me. About their marriage . . ." Elinor began, her hand flying in dismay to her mouth. "Oh, I promised not to mention it," she said, really distressed.
Mrs. Anderson looked suddenly tired. "I won't repeat it, Elinor. What did she say?"
"Just that Kit and she had . . . had an understanding for years that when the right time came, they would marry. She says it has come now, that when they get home, they would probably marry in three months' time . . ." Elinor said.
Mrs. Anderson sighed. "And Kit has said nothing tome..."
"They want to keep it a secret until the engagement is announced officially," Elinor said quickly.
"I see . . ." Mrs. Anderon said slowly. "Go on."
"Well . . ." Elinor hesitated. "She asked us to be her bridesmaids and said she'd prefer a city wedding but Kit would want it in the little church nearby..."
"She is right there. Kit would," Mrs. Anderson said.
"Then . . . she was talking about their life afterwards," Elinor went on. "She said Kit would get a manager and they would travel all over the world, studying other methods of sheep rearing and . . ."
"Subjects in which she is so very interested," Mrs. Anderson said with the first sarcasm Elinor had ever heard from her.
"She wants to travel, she said . . ." Elinor went on. "But would Kit be happy?" she asked earnestly, leaning forward, her rumpled hair falling round her small flushed earnest face. "Kit is a fine man, Mrs. Anderson. He deserves happiness. I don't think Alison loves him at all—she just wants a husband
"Alison is an ambitious young woman, Elinor," Mrs. Anderson told her. "Kit has a great future. Apart from his wealth, he is highly thought of in our own district, interested in politics, in expanding the local industries. Alison's land adjoins us and the two combined would make a very wealthy station indeed. I don't think for a moment that she wants to marry Kit, the man . . . but she does want to marry Kit, the important wealthy pastoralist, if you know what I mean?"
"In other words, if Kit went broke tomorrow, Alison wouldn't be interested?" Elinor asked, shocked. "But that isn't love. Now if I loved . . ."
Mrs. Anderson leant forward and touched Elinor's hand lightly.
"My dear, lucky the man you love. Kit has told me about your young man, Max . . ." she went on gently. "Dear, why not encourage him to come out to Australia to settle? It would make Aggie so very happy to have you near her and you could visit us and . . ."
Perish the thought, Elinor thought unhappily. This wretched Max—how he dogged her footsteps.
"I don't know . . ." she said evasively. "I just don't know . . ."
"My dear," Mrs. Anderon said gently. "Don't let yourself be muddled by the atmosphere on board ship. Here you have so many other things to think of that probably Max seems very vague and remote, someone in the dim past. But shipboard flirtations rarely mean anything. It is an unnatural atmosphere —you are apt to make ordinary men into heroes .. . see them through rose-coloured glasses . . ." she went on kindly. "Once you are ashore and far from them, you'll remember your Max and realise how much you love him . . ."
Before she could answer, Elinor was relieved to see the nurse, Pat, come hurrying in, her eyes shining like stars. "Sorry I was so long, Mrs. Anderson. Time for your medicine . . ." she said.
Elinor seized her opportunity, murmuring goodbye and going out to the deserted windy deck. Already the atmosphere on the ship was changing. The old carefree intimate relationship was gone. Now people were packing, thinking about their homes and other things.
She leaned against the railing, watching the sea . . . feeling the cold wind on her cheeks. Had that been a tactful reminder from Mrs. Anders
on that she had made it obvious that she was in love with Kit . . . ?
"Cable for you . . ." Kit said as he approached and she, startled, looked up to see him holding out
something for her. "From England," he said, his voice significant.
Elinor held it as if it might bite her. "It might not be for me . . ."
"It says Miss Johnson . . . and if it was for Valerie, it would say Miss V. Johnson . . ." Kit said, his voice cool and amused. "I must say you behave very strangely when you get cables. Do you always look so scared?"
She flung him an annoyed glance. "I am not scared. Just wondering who could be cabling me from England."
"Then open it and find out," he suggested.
She obeyed and stared at the words.
GOT WONDERFUL JOB LONDON AND ROUND WORLD SUGGEST YOU COME WITH ME DARLING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND ADORE YOU MAX.
"It's from Max . . ." Elinor said weakly. The paper fluttered in her hand and a sudden gust of wind tore it from her fingers and blew it along the deck.
As Kit chased it, Elinor was thinking fast. She must tell Valerie . . . Valerie had always wanted to see the world. Maybe this would make her realise that she loved Max .. .
Kit gave her back the cable, his face stern. "What does he want?"
Elinor stood, her back to the rail, the wind blowing her hair over her face. "He has a job going round the world . . . he's a journalist . . ."
"And wants you to go with him?" Kit asked. "Why not?"
"Because . . . because . . ." Elinor turned and faced the great expanse of ocean blindly. "I don't…
"Look, Elinor," Kit said slowly. "Don't be confused by this voyage. The impossible seems possible on board . . ." He sounded almost wistful. "But in a few days we shall land and then all these fantastic dreams will vanish and your feet will be firmly on the
earth. If you love Max . . ."
"But I don't," Elinor said violently, unable to bear any more, turning to look up at him.
"Then why did you encourage him?" Kit asked, his voice cold. "A man needs some encouragement . . ."
It was true. Valerie had certainly made use of Max and his small sports car and his company. Valerie's gay manner and friendly intimate way could easily have made him believe she loved him.
"How can you know if you love anyone unless you see a lot of them?" Elinor said desperately. "If you're going to call that encouragement . . ."
"It depends on how you behave," Kit told her sternly. "You've only changed since you've been on board. Hugh . . ."
"Has nothing at all to do with it . . ." Elinor told him, her eyes shining with tears of frustration. "I was never for a moment in love with Hugh, nor was he with me. We were simply good friends. He's a dear and so very easy to get on with. He isn't con-
ceited and arrogant and bossy and . . ." she paused for a breath.
"Like me?" Kit asked in an ominously quiet tone.
She glared at him. "Yes, like you. You're so sure of yourself that you think you can kick other people around. You're smug . .. smug . . ." She stopped, biting her lip, trying not to cry. In a moment, she had her voice under control. "Kit . . ." she went on, her voice shaking very slightly. "Marriage is most terribly important. It's for keeps. You've got to be sure. It's not enough to marry a person because you share the same interests, because it seems sensible . ." This was her chance, she realised, and she was seizing it. She gazed up at him, her flushed face earnest, her wind-tossed curls in pretty confusion, her eyes brave. "You must be sure that you can make that person happy. It isn't enough to be happy yourself—loving someone means carying for them, wanting them to . . . to .. ."
"Be happy," Kit supplied the words coldly. "What is all this leading up to, Elinor?"
For a moment she was tempted to tell him the truth. That she was terribly worried about him—that all she cared about was his happiness—that she knew he could never be happy with a selfish woman like Alison. She longed to tell him that she loved him—that if they hadn't a penny or a sheep in the world, she would still love him. That if he was her husband, she would spend her days loving him, caring for him, cooking his favourite dishes, darning his socks ..
"Elinor . . ." Valerie cried excitedly. She came running down the deck, her hand in Hugh's. "I hear you've had a cable . . . Is it from Max?"
Elinor swallowed back all her words she had so nearly said—words that perhaps it was better they be left unsaid, for poor Kit would have been horribly embarrassed to learn that she was so hopelessly in love with him.
"Yes," she said simply, holding out the cable to Valerie.
Valerie read it quickly—her face changing, her eyes excited. She looked up. "But how wonderful, Elinor . . ." she said. And added "For you."
CHAPTER TWELVE
IT WAS the 'Derby' that night and everyone was very gay. Valerie was Hugh's jockey and Alison was Kit's. In the verandah cafe, a green 'field' was laid. There were wooden horses and the jockeys wore coloured hats.
Elinor had not time to feel left out for she had plenty of partners. But inside her, she felt dead. The voyage was nearly over. Soon they would reach Perth, and Kit and his mother would go ashore, and the next time she saw him, it would probably be at his wedding.
Again, Valerie was much later than Elinor in going down to the cabin ; again, Elinor awoke to see Valerie's eyes shining, and hearing her say how happy she was, that Hugh was quite different, now . . .
Elinor was afraid all the same. Alison's words about Hugh's frequent falling in and out of love worried her. She tried to warn Valerie but was laughed at.
"Hugh isn't like that," Valerie said with complete assurance. "When Hugh falls in love, it will be forever. I'm just trying to make him fall for me."
"Val . . ." Elinor said earnestly. "Why did you say that . . . about me? I mean, when you read Max's cable, why did you say it would be wonderful for me?"
Valerie looked at her surprised. "I mean it, Elinor. You're going to feel rather out of things if I
marry Hugh, and I was wondering why you didn't take over Max . . ." She looked even more surprised at Elinor's gasp of dismay. "I'm serious, Elinor. You always did like Max a lot. Why, you met him first—it was only through you that I met him at all. I know he admired you—tremendously. And you do like him . . . look how you used to praise him to me, tell me what a kind person he was . . ."
"But, Val . . . that's not reason enough for marrying a man," Elinor said.
"Look, Elinor . . ." Valerie said earnestly. "You'll write to Max for me, won't you? Tell him I'm glad about his job but . . ."
"No, I will not," Elinor said violently, turning to escape from the cabin. "Do your own dirty work for once," she said before she slammed the door.
And then it was suddenly the last day. That night there was to be a wonderful party—a party to out-party all others, the ship's Third Officer told Elinor. Already the rooms were being decorated in readiness for this party, which was called "Landfall Night."
Elinor wandered over the ship miserably. You could feel the excitement in the air as land approached. People were exchanging names and addresses, vowing they would keep in touch with one another, talking of the future, what they planned to do. The weather was chilly, the water rough, the ship rolling. For the first time since they had left South Africa, Elinor dreaded the future. Supposing she and Aunt Aggie did not like one another, supposing Hugh broke Valerie's heart .. .
It was funny how, if you think of a person, you often hear from them, for suddenly Hugh was there, by her side, leaning over the rail, watching the flying fish round the sides of the ship.
"Elinor . . . I want to talk to you," Hugh said gravely. His handsome face looked worried. He took her arm and led her away to a secluded corner of the deck, pulling two chairs close together, settling her in one. "Elinor—I want your opinion. Your honest opinion . . ."
Puzzled, she stared at him. "Yes . . . ?"
"Do you think I'm too old to marry Val?" he asked earnestly. Even as Elinor
was gasping, as she tried to grasp the wonderful fact that he loved Valerie, he went on. "I'm nearly thirty-five, Elinor, and she is only seventeen. I'm afraid I'm too old . . . She says I'm not . . . that age isn't important. But she is so very young, Elinor." He leaned forward and took her hands in his, holding them tightly. "I love her very much, Elinor. I won't rush her. Are you very surprised?"
She was honest. "I am rather. You see, I had been told you fall in and out of love rather often and . . . and it seemed too wonderful to be true that you could love Val . . ."
He stared at her. "You don't mind?"
She smiled. "I'm absolutely thrilled, Hugh. I know Val loves you very much—she was afraid you . . ."
"Didn't?" Hugh said. He laughed. "I'm afraid I deliberately kept her guessing. Val is a difficult girl, Elinor. I needn't tell you that. Things she gets too
easily, she doesn't want. That's why I always treated her as a rather sweet child while she wanted me to treat her as a woman."
"Hugh—how clever of you .. ." Elinor gasped.
"I wanted to be quite, quite sure . . . I'm not rushing her into this, Elinor. I shall insist on a six months' engagement and give us both time to know -one another . . ." he told her. "How are you going to like having me for a brother-in-law?" he teased.
"I couldn't ask for a nicer one," Elinor told him, her eyes shining, "Oh, Hugh, I am so happy," she said earnestly. "Val needs someone like you—someone old enough to guide her but young enough to have fun with . . ."
"We're announcing it tonight—if that is all right with you?" Hugh went on. "And . . ." He hesitated. "Would you be very hurt if I steal Val from you tomorrow? I want to take her home to meet my people. We can fly quite quickly from Perth—it seems silly to waste time going on to Sydney by ship and then flying back."
"Of course I don't mind," Elinor said stoutly, but inwardly she felt a great desolation, knowing that she was to be really and truly alone for the last part of the journey.