by J. E. Swift
“I’ve missed you too. But where the hell have you been? You practically disappeared without a trace. I know the past couple of weeks have been crazy, but seriously? You can teleport! Don’t tell me you could not have stopped by for even an hour, a minute, a second for God’s sake.”
He pulled away from her. She was right of course. He should have stopped by, talked about what had occurred between the both of them. Instead, he hid behind the pretense of being so incredibly busy that he did not have time. Declan corrected himself. He was busy, busier than any sane person should have been, but it still did not mean that he could not have stopped in. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“You didn’t know what to say? Really? Is that all you’ve got?”
“What do you want me to do?”
Caitlyn tugged at her hair frustratingly. “How about talk about what passed between us? You sound as if you suddenly regret it.”
“I don’t regret it. In fact, very far from it.” He took a step closer to her, wanting to stay near her.
“Well then, if not that, then what?”
He looked sharply into her eyes. “There just hasn’t been time to process what happened.” Declan lied. Truth was, the kiss invaded every other waking thought he had. He motioned for both of them to sit down on the couch and Declan stared at the discarded magazine that now lay on the floor. He grabbed her hands. “The kiss was amazing. But there isn’t…” he trailed off.
“There isn’t what?” Her eyes darkened and then became embarrassed. “Did you not think there was a spark between us?”
He couldn’t help but smirk at the comment. He leaned in, his lips now pressed very close to her ear, and heard her catch her breath. “Caitlyn,” he murmured affectionately. “There was most definitely a spark.”
He pulled his lips away from her ear and cupped her small face in both of his hands, staring into her depths, his lips only a few inches from where they wanted to be. He felt the heat of her breath; saw the longing in her eyes, and the anticipation that waited on that mouth. All he had to do was lean in, show her exactly how much he wanted her, and confirm that she wanted him in the same way.
It would be so easy. Just Caitlyn and Declan, together. But life, in reality, was never that easy. Declan now had a major responsibility placed on him, and it was something he did not take lightly. Four hours ago, he was going to fight for her. Four hours ago, he was going ask her to think long and hard about whom she really wanted. And now, he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to ask Caitlyn to choose him when he wouldn’t even be around. She deserved to be loved the way she should be.
He closed his eyes, cursing for the first time his life. He couldn’t hide the sorrow in his voice. “There isn’t time.”
“There is not time for what?”
He pulled himself away from her. The moment was gone. “For me. For us. For me to fight for you.”
Her head cocked slightly as it often did when she did not like hearing what Declan was telling her. “You are talking in circles.”
“Caitlyn, you still care for Garrett, don’t you? There is no way that because of one… indiscretion, every feeling that you have for him simply went away.”
The answer that he was met with was silence. Declan had wished that her answer would have been an emphatic no, but he was not naïve enough to think that. His words were quiet. “See? You still have unresolved feelings for him that you need time to work out. There is a lot that needs to be said between the both of you. For what it is worth, Caitlyn, I understand. Besides, you are probably better off with him.” Another lie Declan tried to convince himself was the truth.
“Is that so?”
“Caitlyn… life has gotten complex to say the least over the past few weeks for me. The Trust has me running around, trying to resolve endless issues that have arisen. And now… well, things are coming to a head. I can’t go into many details, but I’ve been ordered away, on business for an extended period of time.”
“Ordered away? Doing what exactly?”
“You will hear about it soon enough. It’s unavoidable. Let’s just say that these are going to be some trying times, and my focus needs to be on the Trust right now. It needs to be on our people.”
“I can help, Declan.”
He smiled. “And you will. But right now, you need to finish your mentoring.”
“You are going to be away.”
Declan turned his face away from her. “Arrangements have been made for a temporary mentor to take over.”
“No! I won’t do another mentor. Declan, I’m finished. I can already do more than the vast majority of the Actuals in the Trust. Just let me take the Threshold. I’m ready.”
“You are ready, but I’m being selfish. If I let you take the Threshold now, I will miss it. And your Threshold is going to be special, Caitlyn. As your mentor, as your friend, as your…” he stopped. He was not that and did not think he would ever have the opportunity to be that. “Well, I am just asking that you give me the opportunity to be part of it. Besides, with any luck, I will return in a few weeks for a little bit to arrange your testing.”
“I am not going to get you to change your mind, am I?”
He knew that she was not just referring to the training. “No. If there was a way around this, I would in a heartbeat. I hope you will understand once you find out what is happening.”
She dropped her head in resignation, staring at the wooden floor. Finally, she leaned over and gave him a hug before turning his face to hers. Her lips ghosted Declan’s for the briefest of moments, her eyes never leaving his. A promise of what could have been. The Descendant could barely hear her response. “Alright. Then tell me who the name of this new mentor is.”
“The Tribunal has decided to let Garrett resume mentoring you.”
Caitlyn froze. “Garrett?”
He rubbed her arms. “He’s being released tomorrow. They want him to try to teach you projectile telepathy. Is that something you think you can handle? If not, I can make other arrangements.”
“No, don’t make other arrangements. You are right. I need to talk to him about us, about his lies, about his beliefs. This will give me the opportunity for some closure or understanding.”
Declan checked the clock. There really was no time. “I hope you get that. Caitlyn, I need to go.”
“Now? Already?”
He nodded. “The Tribunal… well, let’s just say I wasn’t supposed to be coming here in the first place tonight. But I couldn’t leave… not without seeing you first.”
“I wish things were different.”
He tilted up her chin. “You understand though, right?” If anyone would understand, he thought it would be her.
She nodded ever so slightly. “I do. Whatever is going on is obviously important. There are some things that are just larger than we are.”
He took a deep breath. Caitlyn, from the first moment he met her was simply a remarkable person. “Thank you.”
Before his resolve broke, he transported out of the apartment, ready finally to follow the Tribunal’s orders.
Chapter 29
Garrett leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling for the millionth time in the past two weeks. These two weeks had been miserable and Garrett was sick of it. He was tired of this room, tired of the people, tired of missing Caitlyn and wondering how he was ever going to earn her trust again.
The first three days, he was so out of it, he could barely recall them. Lionel had not only managed to break several bones and puncture a lung in his fall, but he also managed to do some temporary neurological as well. The healers that were sent to help him were the strongest in the world, and within a few days, the bones were practically healed and the lung was repaired.
When the healers gave their seal of approval, the Council came in with their questions. Garrett recalled grimly exactly how many questions there were. They interrogated him non-stop, asking him questions about his relationship with Lionel, his father, and with Caitlyn. Some of the
Council seemed to be under the impression that Garrett was a spy for the Cine Tofa, like Lionel was, and they were working together. He knew that they were considering deporting him out of Trust territory and he was sure some were considering him an enemy of the state, so to speak.
Once he answered their barrage of questions, they then sent in the Inquisitors once they were sure that he could physically handle it. He agreed without question, knowing that it was the only way that they would be able to prove that he spoke the truth. He knew that even if he had not approved of the use of the Inquisitors, they would have tried to use them anyway.
Garrett subjected himself to probe after probe, opening his mind up freely to them. The Inquisitors knew him well and respected that. Inquisitors were like a secret brotherhood and one did not break the oath. He trusted them, and in turn, they trusted him. It was similar to what he went through when he first trained for the position; Inquisitors were firm with the belief that you needed to know what your victim was being subject to, you needed to be aware of how far you could take it before it became painful. You needed to understand how the victim would try to block your attack, in order to work around it. Inquisitors called it Hell Week, similar to what the military goes through in boot camp. One full week of almost non-stop attacks on your brain and yet, Garrett had still managed to hide his secret during it, deep in the recesses of his mind.
Once they were complete, the past three days had been spent in virtual isolation; with the occasional healer checking on him or bringing him food. It was during this time that he really reflected on his relationship with Caitlyn. Even with everything going on around them, he had seen the look of betrayal and distrust on her face moments before he passed out.
She knew who he was and he was not the one to tell her. She had to find out from Declan, of all people. He was positive by now she knew more of his history than just a genealogy, and he was sure that there was now a chasm that was opened greater then he knew how to handle.
He knew that the faith would take a while to build up, and that was only if the Trust gave him the opportunity to do so. They had still not announced his fate to him and this frankly unnerved him.
The door creaked open and he saw Jonathan McPherson walk in quietly. Garrett’s eyes followed him as he took a chair and pulled it up to Garrett’s bed. Garrett sat up. “Councilman.”
Jonathan smiled in greeting. “Garrett. So here we are, yet again, to go over the decision of the Tribunal.”
Garrett nodded. “Am I no longer welcome?”
“No. The Tribunal has agreed that you stay. The reports of the Inquisitors have been very thorough. We do not believe that you had anything to do with Lionel’s betrayal.”
“Thank you, Jonathan. I know that you have defended me yet again.”
“Garrett, this time you did this on your own. There was not any evidence to indicate that you have had any further dealings with the Cine Tofa.”
“Am I free to go then?”
“In the morning. I am here for a debriefing and then you have one final medical exam.”
Garrett got out of the hospital bed that he had been a prisoner in these past days and walked over silently to a set of clothes that were on the table and walked to the bathroom. If he was going to be debriefed, he was not going to do this in a hospital gown.
Dressed, he sat across from Jonathan at the same table in the room. The Councilman smiled. “Better I bet. Garrett, the Tribunal has chosen to let you remain in the Trust. With that being said, they agreed that you can remain in your capacity as an Inquisitor even.”
That news was a surprise to Garrett. Even though he had done nothing wrong, he had assumed that they would take away that privilege so he would not have access to any confidential information. The fact that they are letting him resume, means that they must be beginning to trust him.
“But-” he was pulled from his thoughts. “You will not go back right away. We have had a special request that we are granting.”
Garrett raised his eyebrows. “Special request?”
Jonathan nodded. “Declan is on assignment for the next few weeks and would like you to resume your mentorship of Caitlyn until he returns. The Council would like you try to teach her Projection Telepathy.”
He was beyond floored. He was getting his wish of time to repair things with Caitlyn. He would not waste it. “Anything else?”
The Councilman looked out the tiny window briefly. “Your identity to most is still unknown. The Inquisitors involved this week, Caitlyn, Declan, and Caleb have all had a gag order placed on them.”
He was shocked by that last name. “Caleb?”
“He was the one who discovered your true identity and alerted Declan and Caitlyn. Declan assumed that you were the traitor.”
Garrett’s mind reeled. It was going to be hard enough repairing his relationship with Caitlyn, but Caleb would find this betrayal deep. He was his best friend and Garrett held it from him for years. It would be a busy few days indeed. “Okay.”
Jonathan stood, reaching out his hand to shake Garrett’s. “Caitlyn will be expecting you tomorrow at her apartment. I expect a full report given to Councilman Riley and Declan upon his return on her progress.”
With that, the Councilman walked out the door. That night, Garrett’s mind raced as he went over all he was going to say to Caitlyn and to Caleb. He needed to make them understand that this was not of his choice to keep this away from them. He had always wanted the both of them to know. So it was with trepidation that he found himself the next morning pulling up to Caitlyn’s apartment, unsure exactly what to say to her.
He began to knock on her door and had not even finished the first rap when she flew the door open. She looked at him for a brief moment as he drank her in. As he stood dumbstruck, all the apologies and practiced words were quickly forgotten. “Hi.”
She stood there for one more moment, appraising him, eyes watering, before flinging herself around him, into his arms. He was home.
Chapter 30
A weariness surrounded Caitlyn as she pulled away from his arms. It was time for the both of them to have a long overdue conversation about his past. She walked over to her kitchen and contemplated delaying the exchange, not wanting to acknowledge the severity of what they needed to discuss. Caitlyn grabbed the tea she had been drinking and took a long thoughtful sip. Finally, she stated her feelings as simply as possible. “Garrett. We need to talk.”
“I know.”
“You lied. Everything I know about you is a lie.”
She saw the hurt in his eyes and knew that the words stung him. “Kit Kat-I can promise you that is not true.”
The deceit she had been feeling from his omissions and the guilt from her own betrayal over the past few weeks were finally catching up to her. In truth, it was exhausting her. Caitlyn set the empty coffee mug she had been holding on the table. “Garrett, if you only knew how much I want to believe that. With all my heart and soul, I do. But there are certain facts, that can’t be denied. Your father is head of the Cine Tofa. You never told me, never trusted me with that information. How do you think it felt to have been filled in on your past by someone else? I insisted that you had no part in the Cine Tofa, and yet I found out you lived with your father for three years, basically being groomed to take his place.”
“I can explain that, Caitlyn. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lie to you or keep my past from you. But I had no choice.”
She stared at him coolly. “There are always choices, Garrett. You claim that you love me, and you talk about a future for us. How do you think there can be a future when you can’t even share the past?”
Garrett tried to reach out to hold her hand, but she pulled it out of his reach. “There were reasons I lied, Caitlyn. I had to keep my identity secret. The Trust required it. My mother taught me never to talk about it and the Trust emphasized that I could not tell you when I was chosen for mentorship. I would have put us in danger if the general members of the Trust
knew. We would have been targets. It was for your safety as well. People would have naturally assumed that you were Cine Tofa, too.”
“Regardless if there were legitimate reasons, Garrett, there is more than just omissions that I have concerns about.”
“Such as?”
She looked down, gathering her thoughts. She could forgive him for not telling her of his past with his father, but the next part was a difference in ideals. Quietly, she continued. “You led me on. I discovered that most of your core beliefs fall in line with the Cine Tofa. You taught me to believe in the Trust, what they stood for, and most of all, believe in you. My belief in you had to be unwavering. I knew no one except for you, I was overwhelmed with the enormity of the Awakening, and I had to let myself believe you would never lead me astray. How can my trust with you be anything but shattered?”
Garrett never denied Caitlyn’s accusations. It was hard to tell if this appeased her or if it angered her more. A part of her had been hoping that he was going to deny this, state that he hated the Cine Tofa and their ideals, that she had been fed lies about him. Instead, she took his silence as confirmation.
“I thought I was falling for one person and you perpetuated that lie. I know you and I certainly don’t have the same belief system. How could you even consider belonging to a group like the Cine Tofa?”
Garrett opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “Caitlyn, you want to live in a world where you believe that everything is perfect, that it is all black and white. Good vs. Evil. It’s not like that.”
“The Cine Tofa is an extremist organization whose radical beliefs are going to destroy this world.”
Caitlyn could tell that Garrett’s blood pressure rose at that comment and his voice took on a slightly colder edge. “Spoken like a perfect soldier for the Trust. Declan must have spent hours drilling that into you. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you need to step out of the little perfect imaginary world that you are living in, because let me assure you, there are many, many shades of gray. The Trust has its own dark secrets even though your new mentor may have tried to convince you otherwise.”