Zay laughed along with me.
“So, I kept practicing in the arcade. Every day. I needed to save some money. The rent was kind of pricey for a studio apartment. Plus, I had a lot of time on my hands whenever I wasn’t on a flight. He came to me one day while I was practicing and was so full of himself. He was like ‘you’re never going to beat me, new girl’—all macho man about it, and being the competitive bitch I am, I said I would beat him, and he would hate me for it. He didn’t believe I could and he laughed in my face about it. So I gave him a bet. Three months free if I beat him. Oh my gosh, he laughed so freaking hard in my face . . . it was kind of embarrassing. But he accepted the deal. He was an arrogant ass, so I knew he would. I told him to give me a month or so to practice. I’d beat him. Well for a month straight I literally played pool every single chance that I could. In between the flights and working and stuff, I was exhausted. And then it was time to play him and guess what?”
Vin laughed, flashing a crooked, sexy smile. “You won?”
“Hell no!” I broke out in a fit of giggles. “I lost! He kicked my ass so bad, worse than the first time!”
Zay busted out laughing, so hard he fell off the stool this time.
“Zay, come on, man.” Vin pushed off the wall, helping him to a stand. “I thought you were going to tell us you won that three months free rent or some shit,” Vin chuckled.
“What was the point of your story?” Zay was still laughing.
I pushed off the table, grinning. “The point of the story is I played so much pool that I became really good at it, so something good came out of it. He rubbed it in my face every single chance he could. God, I couldn’t stand that guy.” I looked towards Zay, who was downing the rest of his beer. “Zay, are you okay? Maybe we should get you home.”
“What?” He frowned at me, stumbling sideways. “No—no, I’m good. I’m actually about to go and get another. You want one?” He pointed at me but I shook my head. “No, I think I’m done for the night.”
“Zay, you really don’t need another. You’re fucking hammered. We should get you home. We have a long day tomorrow.”
“Just—just one more. One more. One more,” he repeated, like he hadn’t just said it. He was already stumbling away towards the bar. The bartender shook his head as soon as he saw Zay coming.
“No! No more for you, man!” the bartender shouted.
“I’m only asking for one more!” Zay demanded.
Vin groaned and followed after Zay. “Zay come on. Let’s go. It’s late. You’ve had enough.”
Vin grabbed his shoulder but Zay shoved his hand away. “Fuck off, Vin! Don’t act like you’ve never done shit like this before.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Zay, lets go! You’ve had enough!”
Zay turned around, getting in Vin’s face. “All the times that I’ve had to snatch a bottle out of your hand or pull your nose out of a pile of coke, and you act like you can’t let me have one more! I’m not the fucking alcoholic here, you are, so back the fuck off!”
I gasped, and besides the music pouring from the speakers, the place was silent. The bar was filled with people, most lined up at the bar or sitting at booths nearby, and not one of them said a word after Zay’s outburst. Everyone stared at them, chins practically on the floor.
Vin glared back, and I immediately noticed the way his eyes glistened as he stared at his best friend, but he didn’t waver and he didn’t argue back. “All right, I really think it’s time for me to get you home, brother. Let’s go and get you some rest.” He slung Zay’s arm over his shoulder, and Zay rolled his eyes, but he didn’t fight him off this time.
Vin turned in my direction. “Keys, Marley. Let’s go.”
I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed my satchel and followed them out of the door. Vin carried most of Zay’s weight towards the car, and I unlocked the doors. He dropped him in the backseat and I rounded the car to the driver’s side. That little outburst from Zay had really sobered me up. My mind was boggled at this point.
I started the car up when Vin climbed into the passenger seat and then I put my focus on him.
“Vin, are you o—”
“Just drive, Marley. Please.” He didn’t look at me. He was staring out of the window, his elbow planted on the door’s armrest, his hand on his chin. It was a habit he’d done, often out of frustration. Stroking the area beneath his bottom lip, right above his chin. Pretending he was okay. Trying to calm himself down.
I remembered the frustrated Vin. He didn’t like to talk when he was upset. It was the Aries in him. He would talk when he was ready, that I knew. So I put the transmission in gear and drove away.
The ride made me tense. Zay groaned in the backseat, and I prayed he wouldn’t vomit back there. But then he said something that made me freeze at a stoplight. Something I wasn’t expecting at all.
“Fuck, I miss her. I fucking miss her and—and you guys are acting like she was—was never fucking here. Like she never existed. Like, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I finally felt Vin look my way. I didn’t meet his eyes. My throat felt like it’d closed in on itself, and I wasn’t sure if it was the buzz returning or what, but my head spun a little.
“Where do I go?” I asked after clearing my throat, and Vin responded dully.
It took twenty minutes to reach Zay’s apartment complex. Vin hopped out in a flash and opened the back door, hauling his friend out and nearly dragging him up two flights of stairs. He came back to the car ten minutes later, slumping down in the passenger seat.
I waited for him to speak but he didn’t say a thing, so I asked, “Where do you want me to take you?”
“Back to the club. I have some work to do.”
“Okay.”
It wasn’t a long drive to the club from Zay’s place. I pulled up in front of the building and Vin went straight for the door handle before I could put the car in park. He grunted as he pushed out of the car, but I called after him. “Vin—wait!” I unclipped my seatbelt and scrambled out.
“What, Marley! WHAT!” he barked, and I almost flinched, stopping in front of the car, right at the curb.
“I—well, shit, Vin. I just want to know that you’re okay—”
He scoffed obnoxiously, eyes stretching wide as he fixed his gaze on me. “You want to know if I’m okay?” His laugh was so cold I felt it slide down my spine. “Hmm, well let’s see, Marlena. My best friend just called me an alcoholic and called me out on my past—a past that I can’t seem to fucking escape! What else? Oh, I’m hanging out with my fucking ex-girlfriend—a woman who is about to be my fucking sister-in-law! I’m pretending I’m okay with this shit and that it doesn’t bother me being around you, but fuck. I can’t keep fucking pretending like this. I’m not okay with any of this shit! I tried to be fucking positive. I tried to move on, but even Zay knows that’s bullshit! Even he knows I’ll fucking cave eventually!”
“Okay—Vin, please,” I pleaded, stepping onto the sidewalk and in front of him with my hands out. “I get that you’re upset. You’re upset about what Zay said, but that’s in the past, like you said. You aren’t doing that stuff anymore! You’ve changed. I see the change in you! Don’t let his remark get to you. That was liquid courage. Zay didn’t mean it! I’m sure he believes in you the most.”
“Oh, he meant it,” he laughed, but it was dry. Sour. “He fucking meant it, and you know what? I don’t blame him, because he’s right. Who the fuck am I to limit him, when I couldn’t even limit myself? I was ten times worse than he was tonight when I used to get drunk. And I know you remember.” He pointed a finger at me. “You know exactly how it used to be.”
I swallowed hard, lowering my gaze.
“All of this is—it’s fucked up, Marley. All of it.” He was quiet for a second, huffing a breath. “How the hell can you move on, huh? You heard what he said in the car. We’re acting like that shit with Noelle never even happened. You are the most. I tiptoe around the subjec
t, and you freak out and just flat out shut me down. She was your best fucking friend, and you act like she didn’t even exist. You haven’t spoken a word of her once, or even asked Zay how he’s holding up, since you’ve been here. Not once, Marlena.”
I shifted on my feet, taking a step back. “I should go.”
“Yeah, there you go, trying to run away from your problems again. Why can’t you just talk about it? Why can’t you admit that what you’re doing—marrying Lloyd—is not you! You know Noelle would agree with me! She would have been the first one to tell you not to marry that sleazy motherfucker!”
“Because I have to, Vin!” I shouted. “I fucking have to, so the shit that happened with Noelle, doesn’t happen to me again! So that I can help someone live, not die, like she did!”
We stared at each other, eyes heated, bodies hostile. He pressed his lips, taking a small step away. My eyes burned. I was frustrated, angry. It was like a gray cloud had rolled right above me.
“Wow,” he breathed. “So you’re finally confessing the truth.”
“I had to do it.” My voice came out in a whimper. “For my mother. I couldn’t afford her rehab bills anymore, or the treatments that followed when she was diagnosed with cancer. I was in debt. I—I met Lloyd while I was struggling with her medical bills, he showed me good times, found out about my mom, offered to pay and. . . I just went from there. I know it’s wrong, Vin. Okay? I fucking know that. But, I’m doing this for her. So she can live a little longer—so she doesn’t have to die thinking she owes the world something.”
“Marley, I saw your mom! She looked terrible! I mean, just come on and face the fucking facts! Money isn’t going to save her! Marrying Lloyd isn’t going to save you or her! He will ruin your fucking life!”
“The same way you almost ruined mine?” I whispered, and his face immediately fell, taken aback.
“Wow,” was all he said, again, and again, and again. He turned his back to me, roughly shoving his fingers through his hair. “So is that what you think? That I almost ruined your life? Because I was an addict and needed help, just like your mother did? Well, shit, Marley, I’m fucking sorry, all right? I’m sorry that I had a drinking problem! I’m sorry that I resorted to drinking when I felt abandoned or lost! But you know what? That fiancé of yours—that motherfucker you’re so ready to marry—is to blame. Him and his jackass of a father. They did this to me. Them,” he seethed, getting in my face. “Go and ask him why I am the way I am. Go ask him why I developed my drinking problem in the first place, or how it all even started? Go and ask them why I’m such a fuck up! Go, Marley! And if he doesn’t fucking tell you, then I will gladly tell you the story, just so you can see how much of a monster he truly is.”
I sealed my lips, holding his stare. Before I could ask anything or even attempt to stop him, he was storming for the door with his keys already out. He unlocked it and barged right in, slamming it shut behind him.
I stood on the sidewalk, in front of the club he named after us, feeling my belly clench tight and my eyes burn hot.
What the hell was happening?
There was so much going on—so much that I didn’t want to confront or confess. I knew coming back to Cali was a mistake. I knew agreeing to paint that wall was a mistake.
The past was reemerging. My demons were haunting me all over again, trying to own me, and I was almost certain that if I’d stayed here any longer, they were going to claim my soul.
MARLEY
It was a good thing I was almost finished with the wall. I had some small touches to add, but I was certain I’d be done by the end of the day.
I got there around nine the following morning to start early. Vin didn’t let me in, but Pablo did. Vin was there, spending most of his time in his office.
He didn’t come out to greet me, didn’t smile. Hell, he didn’t even look at me. He had the blinds of his office open, so I could see him sitting there, but he wasn’t actually working. He spent more time with his hand on his chin, staring off into space.
Around four that afternoon, the wall was done. I cleaned up my area, washed my hands, and then I drew in a deep breath, walking to his office door and knocking on it. It was already open but his head was down, focused on a sheet of yellow paper.
When he fixed his gaze on me, I said, “Just want to let you know I’m done with the wall. It turned nicer than I thought.”
“Oh.” He nodded, sitting back in his chair and dropping his hands in his lap. “Cool.”
I shifted on my feet. “Have you heard from Zay? Is he okay?”
“Yeah. He’s fine.”
“Oh. Okay, good.”
“Flying back home today?” he asked, pulling his line of vision away.
“Probably tonight, after my mom’s check-up at the hospital. Ryan will be keeping an eye on her for me when he can, and I also hired a nurse for her. She’ll come during the mornings and sometimes at night.”
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head.
I ignored it. “Do you wanna take a look at the wall?”
“Nah. I’m sure it looks fine.”
“Okay.” My lips pressed and I started to turn and walk away, but I caught myself, unable to hold back on the words at the tip of my tongue. “Vin, I didn’t want you to find out about me and Lloyd that way. It’s not just about the money. I do care about him. I appreciate him for what he’s done for me so far.”
“Of course you do,” he grumbled, turning his back to me in the spinning chair.
“I understand you’re upset, but you don’t have to be a jackass about it,” I snapped.
As soon as I said that, I heard a voice I really wasn’t in the mood to hear. “Vin!” Bethany called from a distance. I looked towards the entrance, and she was trotting in my direction with a stack of folders in hand. When she saw me, she slowed her pace, but kept coming.
“You’re still here?” she asked when she met up to me.
I cocked a brow. “Leaving today, actually.”
“Oh,” she beamed. “Cool.” Then she stepped past me and walked towards his desk, dropping the folders on top of them. “I’ve got some more contracts from promoters for you to sign. Also some interested clients who are already dying to book this place up for private parties.”
Vin spun back around and nodded, dragging his gaze back over to me.
“I’ll go now,” I announced. “I’ll see you some other time, Vin.”
He bobbed his head, pretending to focus on some of the papers. “Have a safe flight, Marlena.”
I walked away before he could finish saying my name. I hated when he said my real name. Unless he was singing it or using it playfully, it meant he was upset. I wasn’t up for this. He wasn’t the only one fed up.
I had to get back home—back to my reality. Could I even consider that my reality?
Truthfully, my reality was there, in Cali, where everything reminded me of something and there was nowhere to hide. Being in Texas was a fantasy in comparison. In Texas, there weren’t people expecting answers and there wasn’t anything that reminded me of the bad things.
There was my studio and my new home, and even my fiancé, as well as the luxuries I didn’t even deserve, but accepted anyway. I couldn’t handle any more drama or the looks Vin gave me because he knew all about me, deep down to my core. I had to go back right away.
I had to run.
Escape, just like before.
• • • • •
I arrived home at midnight, relief swirling in my veins as I parked the car in front of our home and climbed out. I grabbed my bag out of the trunk and smiled when I saw Lloyd’s car parked up front.
Pulling out my house keys, I unlocked the door and punched in the code to the alarm as soon as I stepped inside. It felt great to be back.
I placed my bag on the floor, figuring Lloyd was asleep with how serene the house was. Good. I wanted to surprise him.
I hurried up the stairs with a big smile on my face, stepping around the corner and walki
ng towards our bedroom door, but before I could get to the room, I saw light seeping through the cracks of the door. And then I heard noises.
Rustling.
Pleasured groans.
Deep, heavy, and familiar.
I didn’t stop walking to the door, even though I should have just turned away. I gripped the doorknob and pushed it open, but what I saw made my heart plummet.
Lloyd sat on the bench at the end of the bed—our bed—with his legs spread wide apart. One of his hands was planted on the edge of the bench to keep himself steady while the other was on top of a blond haired-woman’s head. Sucking noises filled the room along with Lloyd’s heavy groaning and her head bobbed up and down. His eyes were shut, like he was in heaven—like it was the best thing to have ever happened to him.
When the door thumped against the doorstopper, the girl stopped sucking him and looked back rapidly. Lloyd opened his green eyes in a flash and locked in on mine. The girl hopped up, swiping the back of her hand over her mouth.
This girl was familiar. I knew her well, actually. Her name was Wendy Taylor. She was a flight attendant, and we were usually scheduled together. Sometimes we’d share hotel rooms and catch drinks when we had short, quick flights. She was no stranger to me and definitely not one to him.
“Marley,” she gasped.
“Wow,” I breathed. I pointed a thumb back. “Should I go? I mean, you seemed to have been really enjoying yourself there, Lloyd.”
Lloyd rolled his eyes and stood, grabbing his boxers and tugging them on. “Don’t be dramatic. You weren’t even supposed to be back until tomorrow.”
“Yeah, well, I thought I would surprise my soon-to-be husband by returning a few hours sooner.”
“I—I should go.” Wendy scrambled for her clothes. She picked all of her belongings up, not even bothering to put any of it on. She ran past me completely naked, but not without giving me a solid look of remorse. I almost felt bad for her, but she knew what she was doing.
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