Mom started bringing different men around soon after, like she hadn’t just lost her first love or the father of her only child.
I couldn’t party anymore. They reminded me too much of Noelle. Vin had slowed down before all of this, but after her funeral he started going to parties hosted by some of Zay’s old friends, leaving me home by myself most of the time. I think he only did it because he felt like Noelle’s death really was his fault. He wanted to forget however he could, even if that meant drowning in liquor and snorting.
One day he was too drunk and had called his mother. I walked in on him yelling these horrible things—things I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around.
Things like: “You’re a dumb woman for putting that son of a bitch before me!”
And: “I hope he gets a fucking heart attack!”
And the worst of them all: “I wish you never would have had me! It would have solved everything for that stupid motherfucker!”
Back then, I didn’t know exactly what or whom he was talking about. But after witnessing the way Mr. Harris and Lloyd treated him, I knew now it was his stepfather.
Vin was right. We weren’t that different.
No, actually, I think the most terrifying fact of all was that we were just alike. Self-destructing and losing our way—praying the alcohol and the drugs would wash away our bad memories, but knowing deep down it never would.
It was awful, and I couldn’t handle it anymore.
He went to rehab, and I went to find a better job. I did what I had to do, and I can’t regret it. What I did made him want to be better.
Walking away not only made me stronger, but him as well.
VIN
Present
She’d made her decision before she even walked out that door. She left when I had fallen asleep, probably as soon as I did. The bed was cold. Her space was empty. My heart felt hollow.
I think I laid in bed for over three hours, thinking about what I could do. But I came to a conclusion, and it was simple. She’d chosen him over me. She didn’t want me—not again. Not after all the shit we’d been through, and I guess I couldn’t blame her.
She was guarding her heart. She didn’t want me to shatter it again.
Despite knowing that, it still fucking hurt to know she wasn’t coming back.
Two weeks passed and I didn’t hear from her at all. I got emails from Becks about their plans, but I never read them in full. I’d even gotten a check in the mail from Dickhead Senior himself.
It was the twenty grand, and it came with a note.
Glad you decided to stay away from the girl.
She’s happy with my son, and as long as you stay away, I’ll keep sending whatever you need.
I tore the check up and trashed it.
Fuck him.
Fuck Lloyd.
And fuck the wedding.
The countdown was on. Day by day flew by like a jet. With each day passing, I felt weaker and weaker. I wanted to give into the urges. I wanted just one sip to take the edge off.
Working at the club was becoming harder and harder, seeing all of the bottles lined up, watching my guests drink and party without a care in the world.
I knew drinking would make me forget, even if for a little while.
But I also knew drinking would lead me down a path of destruction. What made matters worse? Lloyd showed up at my front door without so much as a warning, two days before the wedding.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I frowned at him, but he stepped right past me, ignoring my question and pushing my arm out of the way.
I turned to face him, arms folded tightly over my chest.
“Here,” he said, holding out an envelope. “It’s $100,000.”
I narrowed my eyes, wary of his offer. “For what?”
“I don’t want you to show up at the wedding.”
I frowned, totally fucking confused now. “Aren’t you the one who told me to come in the first place?”
“Yes, but I don’t want you there anymore. I’ve thought about it, trust me,” he sighed, like he was bored. “Mom wants you there so badly, and I’d hate to see her disappointed, but I just can’t risk it. I’m so close to owning my dad’s company, and I don’t need you throwing anything off or getting in Marlena’s head. If I don’t marry her—or anyone for that matter—and soon, I’m fucked.” His head shook, a slow smile spreading across his face. “She’s so in love with you. I see it in her eyes every time you’re around. At first I thought hell, maybe I’m just imagining it. But no . . . she is. When she kept coming back here, that was a sure sign for me. I didn’t trust her and I still don’t, so I hired a private investigator and, man, he told me everything.”
“Everything like what?”
“Everything about you two—how you dated years before this. How she was the one who drove you to rehab and also the one who walked away. Wow, Vincent,” he laughed. “Believe me, my mind was blown. Three years together and then you see her again, only this time she’s with me? That must have been a nightmare for you, huh? Probably sucks even more knowing she’d rather be with me than you, doesn’t it?”
My nostrils flared, fists clenching tight now.
“Get the fuck out,” I growled, stepping back. The door was still open.
He only stood there, glaring at me, his eyes getting harder now. Colder. They reminded me too much of Will’s. They were just alike. “Don’t show up at the wedding. Make an excuse—drink if you have to. Do something that will keep you the hell away from my wedding.” He took a step forward. “Take the money—invest it in your shitty club. Do something with yourself that will keep you as far away from her as humanly possible. I don’t give a damn what it is.” He met up to me, slamming the envelope into my chest. “Just stay the hell away from us.”
The envelope smacked the floor and he marched out, not even bothering to look back. I slammed the door after him, rage taking over every ounce of me. It took everything in me not to chase after him and beat his fucking face in.
He knew I couldn’t lay a finger on him—not this close to the wedding. Becks would flip shit if he showed up with a black eye. Hell, she probably wouldn’t even forgive me for it.
I couldn’t fucking stand him and that show up had officially settled things for me. I wasn’t going.
That night, I called my mother, letting her know I wouldn’t be attending. I made up an excuse about working and having an important business opportunity. She was very disappointed, and I think even a little angry, but I didn’t care. She would get over it. I just wished I could have told her the real reason why I needed to stay away.
It wasn’t because of Lloyd trying to bribe or threaten me. Oh, no. It was because Marlena didn’t want me. That much was clear. She may have loved me, but clearly not enough to walk away from him.
I got dressed and drove to the club. I needed a distraction. I needed to forget. It was Thirsty Thursday at Club 7-1-9, so the drinks were being poured and handed out in a flash.
It was a good night and we made good profit. Zay was ecstatic but I couldn’t bring myself to be as happy as he was. He left on a good note, though, and Bethany went right along with him to celebrate at Ocean Rico’s. I decided to stay at the club, and Zay didn’t push or nudge because he knew what was happening the upcoming weekend.
When the club was closed and everyone went home, I walked to the bar and grabbed a bottle of 100 Proof Jack and a clean glass, and brought it back to my office. I held it tight, staring at the silver label, sweat beading on my forehead, throat thickening.
I opened the bottle, my mind screaming, “FUCK IT! JUST DO IT!”
I could smell the whiskey. That good ol’ Jack Daniels.
Fuck, it smelled so good. I could already feel the burn. I poured some into the glass, unable to control my trembling hand.
I almost caved. I was so damn close to having a spill and feeling that old, familiar buzz. I only needed one sip to feel okay. Just one sip to hold me over and get me
through this weekend.
I kept telling myself that, knowing it was complete and utter bullshit. My grip was tight around the glass, focused hard on the amber liquid. I picked it up off the desk and brought the rim up to my lips, my body trembling and my eyes squeezed shut.
I was no pussy, but that night I wanted to fucking cry. She was really fucking gone this time. I was never going to get her back. I couldn’t believe this shit.
“Fuck,” I croaked, slamming the glass back down on the desktop, some of the liquor spilling over. My head hung low, eyes squeezed shut. And then my cellphone vibrated on the desk, and her name lit up the screen.
I read the message, over and over again. It couldn’t be real. She didn’t want me. She didn’t love me enough. She left again and didn’t come back.
I capped the bottle, and shot out of my chair, pacing the office now. Her message ran through my mind like a hamster on a wheel.
Her message made me think way too deeply. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. What the fuck did she want from me?
She’d made her decision and it wasn’t me.
But I swear, it was like she knew . . . like she knew I was about to do something stupid and had stepped in just in the nick of time.
Marley: No matter what happens, I will always love you, Vinny, and I will always be yours.
I put the Jack back where it belonged and dumped the glass of whiskey in the sink behind the bar.
That sweet, sweet whiskey.
I sat in my office all night, until the sun came up, mind racing, fingers drumming on oak.
Then, finally, I snatched up my keys and cellphone, hurrying out the door. I didn’t stop. I didn’t hesitate. I kept going with only one destination in mind.
I had something to fight for, and I was fighting for the love of my life. I couldn’t give up or give in—not now. Not after all I’d been through—all we’d been through.
She was why I wanted better for myself. She was my reason—the very reason I wanted to exist. Yes, the whiskey was calling to me, but she was calling to me more, and she was much, much sweeter than any whiskey on this earth.
MARLEY
I sat on the cushioned bench, staring out of the window, towards the skyscrapers and various buildings. The sky was the clearest I’d ever seen it, no clouds in sight.
Bells were ringing and someone was playing the harp from a short distance away. My heart was playing a slow, sad drum to the tune.
A knock sounded on the door and Felicity, my bridal assistant, popped her head in with a smile. “Five minutes!” she sang, smiling way too hard. “Are you ready, love?” I pressed my lips to smile, but I couldn’t feel it. My face felt numb. My body, numb. “Oh, crap. I forgot my phone! I’ll be right back.” She took off, leaving me alone in the room again.
I blew a thick breath and stood, facing the door. I guess it was time to get this over with—time to fulfill my part of the deal. Marriage in exchange for everything I ever wanted . . . everything tangible, anyway.
Vin was right. It was like handing my soul over to the devil. Lloyd was no good for me. He never had been, but I went along with this anyway.
I was so lost when I met Lloyd. I didn’t care what happened to me, or what he did, as long as I could have whatever I wanted.
Back then, the man I really loved was trying to recover in rehab. I wasn’t sure he was ever going to be sane or sober again on his own, and I was too much of a coward to face him or go back. I was tired of losing. Tired of being left in the dumps. Tired of being without.
But what I failed to realize was that those material things weren’t always going to last. Love was permanent. It never faded, and I loved Vin more than life itself. I should have tried harder to help him. I should have stayed. I never should have walked away from him that very first time.
I loved him more than all the riches and gold. More than this stupid, beautiful wedding dress and the wedding band waiting to be placed on my finger out there.
I loved him more than anything, but so foolishly chose this.
A lie.
Misery.
I had text him, hoping he could get me to change my mind—hoping he would say something romantic to help me walk away, but he didn’t answer. I don’t even know why I expected him to. I hurt him, not once, but twice. I was certain he was done being burned by me.
Tears singed my eyes as I waited for Felicity to return. She would come in, grab the train of my dress, and follow me down the aisle, just like we’d practiced. Lloyd would be waiting there, knowing he was about to own me for life. Vin wouldn’t be anywhere in sight, of course. He wasn’t going to show up for this. He didn’t support it. He hated the idea of it.
Gripping the bouquet of flowers tighter in hand, I stood up and listened hard to the footsteps coming towards the brown oak door. I tilted my chin, swallowing hard.
It was time.
I should have been happy to be getting married. It was a dream wedding, ivory and gold, but instead it felt like I was facing the death penalty and it was my time to be strapped in the chair, injected with regret and despair.
The doorknob twisted and the door slowly creaked open.
I expected to see Felicity with her pixie blonde haircut and petite frame, but this person was quite the opposite.
This person was tall, dark, and utterly handsome. This was a man, and not just any man. It was Vincent Chambers. My Vinny. My breath snagged the instant I saw him.
His eyes were wide as he caught sight of me, and he looked me over twice, straightening his back. He had on a black T-shirt and black basketball shorts. He looked tired, like he’d been up all night, thin bags beneath his eyes.
“Vin?” I gasped. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He shut and locked the door behind him in a hurry, but kept his eyes on me.
“Vin?” I called, head cocking. “The wedding is about to start. What are you—”
My sentence was cut short when his hands cupped my face and his lips came crashing down on mine. He held me tight, his thumbs stroking the apples of my cheeks. I moaned behind it and thought about pushing away, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Instead, my arms fell, the bouquet of flowers slipping out of my fingers. He kissed me for so long, like his life depended on it, and maybe it did. He was here for a reason.
My body filled with heat, heart still pounding, a much quicker rhythm than before.
When the kiss broke, he rested his forehead on mine. “Don’t do this, Marlena,” he whispered against my lips. “Don’t marry him. You’ll hate yourself and you know it.”
I stared up into his eyes. “I . . . I have to, Vin. It’s too late. I can’t just walk out now.”
“Yes, you can,” he assured me, pulling his face away and looking down into my eyes. He still had my face in his hands, eyes soft and sincere. “You can walk right away from all of this shit. You can leave with me right now and no one will be able to stop you. And if they try, they’ll have to go through me first, and trust me I won’t let it fucking happen.” His throat bobbed, those whiskey eyes watering at the rim. “If you do this, Marley, I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do. I can’t live without you. I—I know I’m not the wisest with my choices sometimes. I know I’ve fucked up a lot—especially with you. I know I’ve let you down more times than I’ve lifted you up. I’m a flawed motherfucker, okay? And I do dumb shit sometimes, but I promise you . . . if you walk away from this—if you leave with me right now—I won’t just give you the world, but you’ll have my undying love, too. If you run away with me, we don’t have to look back, and you won’t regret it. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you are the happiest woman on earth.” He gave me a crooked smile, one that made my heart feel crippled. My belly coiled and then there was a knock on the door. I gasped, peering over his shoulder.
“Marlena?” Felicity called from behind it, jiggling the knob. “It’s time. Are you ready?”
Vin kept his eyes on me, head softly
shaking. “We can go wherever you want to go,” he murmured.
My vision clouded, my throat thickening with emotion.
“Marlena?” The doorknob continued to jiggle.
I could only stare up at him. My Vinny. My whiskey and fire.
“We’ll run? Right now?” I asked in a whisper.
“Right now,” he answered, head bobbing.
“And won’t look back?”
“Never.” He smiled, that boyish smile I loved so much. He cupped the back of my neck again, his fingers tangling with the loose wisps of hair. “Run with me, Marley. Be free with me. Choose happiness. Choose me.”
There was a loud knock on the door and Vin finally looked back. “Marlena!” Lloyd’s voice boomed on the other side. “What’s going on in there?” His voice was tight. “We have a schedule to stay on. Open the door.”
Vin’s eyes swung over to mine again. I drew in a deep breath and before Lloyd could knock again, I hurried towards the vanity, opening the drawer and taking out my cellphone and wallet.
Vin’s brown eyes lit up as I turned to face him. The knocking on the door continued, and Lloyd shouted my name.
“Come on, Marlena. People are waiting. We don’t have time for this!”
“Fuck off, Dickhead Junior!” Vin shouted.
My mouth gaped but I immediately cupped it, fighting a giggle.
“What the fu—Vin! Is that you? What the fuck are you doing! Open this goddamn door! Now!”
Grabbing my hand, Vin walked towards the patio door and unlocked it. “Let’s go, babe,” he cooed to me.
“Where will we go?” I asked, following him out.
“I swear to God, I will fucking kill you, Vin!” Lloyd barked, banging on the door. “I will kick this fucking door down and break your fucking neck, you fucking drunk! Open the damn door!”
Vin glanced back, giving a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t know where we’ll go, but we’ll figure it out.” He clutched my hand and helped me step over the guardrail. We were on the first floor, so when I stepped over with him, we were standing right on the grass. “You ready to run?”
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